Kanade 💓

this time i won’t afford to give up i’ll keep trying until it ends ive always been stubborn after all

I had a fucking panic attack at school yesterday and all my dad said to me was “make sure not to make a scene again” fuck it im killing myself goodbye fuck everyone

i have nothing left to give anymore i gave everything i had to everyone please let me be selfish just this once

im so exhausted i just want to sleep forever

i have a plan tonight im so done now

i want to end it i want to make this pain go away i want to just become a forgotten memory in people’s minds

no “are you okay?”s. no “hey how are you feeling after trying to kill yourself?”s. no “do you need anything from me right now?”s. Just “I’m disappointed in you.” Fucking wonderful

nobody sees my blog so i guess i can shout into the void here

everything is so heavy on me i wish i could have help carrying it

I think I’m being dumped but that’s okay I have an escape plan so I don’t have to feel it anymore it’s my fault for loving too freely i’ll carve his name as deep as i can into my arm so the pain reminds me how much love hurts I love him I love him so much i can’t take it if he leaves me at my worst

im not okay i’m not handling things unless you consider taking a bottle of pills and cutting myself okay then im a-okay im wonderful im splendid im falling apart and nothing and no one can piece me back together

im not even crying for help i’m screaming for it yet nobody hears me i hear everyone but i guess nobody can save the savior

I might just do it i’m shouting into the void at this point tonight i’ll finally be done hahahaha yay

why do i have to feel this way always why do i have to have the weight of the world on my shoulders i just wanted to be a good person and help people im a bad person though so i deserve it

I feel weird fuckass heart palpitations from the attempted overdose last night I honestly can’t find it within myself to care, though I just feel empty

I want to end it so fucking bad but i’m holding on in case he replies

i dont feel anything at all i feel totally fine after staying up and not eating i don’t get why people freak out so much about me doing that