:p

18+

anti-censorship

I think a large part of the reason I am the way I am is because of the misogyny I grew up around. For example, I was occasionally given significantly smaller portions of food than my brothers because "girls aren't supposed to eat a lot" and my mother made fun of the way I eat (as in, the way I physically chew my food. she thinks my cheeks look too big when I take a bite.) I still hate eating around her as an adult.

Anyway, nowadays I instinctively start resource guarding. I DON'T like sharing my food ever, for any reason. I won't cook for others unless I'm making so much food that I'm certain there will be enough leftovers for me. I also try to eat at times when no one notices so I can eat as much as I want (this sometimes leads to me eating at awful times because I wait to be alone in the kitchen). Whenever I get takeout I always order too much food, I can't gauge what a normal portion is for myself.

One time I was eating two pieces of Nutella on toast for breakfast before school (I was maybe like 15 at the time). My mother saw me eating TWO pieces of toast instead of ONE and was horrified. She told me to never eat that much for breakfast again and that I was being greedy. She always feared that I would get fat and she made fun of my body shape until I joined a sport and slimmed down (I was never big to begin with btw).