
noise dept.

if i look back, i am lost
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
trying on a metaphor
Noah Kahan
Sade Olutola
occasionally subtle

Kiana Khansmith
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Mike Driver

d e v o n
KIROKAZE
🪼
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

pixel skylines
RMH

#extradirty
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

seen from United States

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seen from Germany

seen from India
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seen from Tunisia
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Argentina
@viralhiper

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now to introduce my version of Xylitol~
Yeah, he's not a "cookie". His species are "carbohydrates", a mostly cybernetic race of advanced aliens with an almost "holier than thou" approach to most other civilizations...
NOVAs are simply what high-ranked carbohydrates are referred to.
Xylitol is in charge of technology and travel in his society, with his own planet-sized manufactory and robotic helpers/lesser carbs to work with.
... He's also a condescending, ego-driven asshole... especially to organics...
Sheva: Wait, you're forgetting something!
Wesker: What?
Chris: Well, being an evil villian, you're required to explain your plan before you get rid of us
Bruce: *on the verge of screaming after Y/N did something reckless on a dare* You think you’re funny?
Y/N: I think I’m adorable
Dean: Go big or go home!
Castiel, with tears in his eyes: I am begging you, Dean. For once in your life, go home. Please. Just this once. Go home.
Dean: I'm going big

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Y/N on the phone with Charlie: "So got an offer from someone on the internet to be their sugar baby"
Charlie: "Really? How much was he paying?"
Y/N: "$1500 and all I have to do is send photos of my feet"
Charlie: "Are you going to do it?"
Y/N: "No seems kinda hinky you know"
Hours later Dean comes back looking for Castiel, walks into Y/N's room
Dean: "What's going on in here?"
Castiel looking up while Y/N paints his toes a bright red, both blushing
Castiel: "I'm going to make Y/N money by being her glucose infant"
Y/N laughing, while Dean looks confused
(At Y/N and Dean's wedding)
Sam: To my new sister-in-law!
Sam: Thank you for releasing me. He's your self-destructive deathtrap now.
Dean: I just can't believe you would do this to me.
Y/N: I'm sorry, I had no idea.
Dean: It's called a betrayal of trust! Does that mean anything to you?
Y/N: Of course it does! I didn't mean to hurt you.
Dean: YOU DON'T JUST GET ME A GIFT OUT OF NOWHERE AND I have nothing prepared for you...
Y/N: I'm sorry, I just thought of you when I saw this leather jacket.
Dean, pouting: Now I look like a big ol' jerk.
Dean: Hey, do you know how to play the trumpet?
Y/N: No, why?
Dean: *shrugging* Sam’s been getting on my nerves lately so I felt like the best way to return the favor would be to learn how to play
Y/N: Technically, you don’t need to know how to play to annoy him
Dean:
Dean: You’ve just opened my eyes
Dean: It’s over. We won.
(Behind him, the monster slowly stands back up)
Sam:
Castiel:
Y/N: Dean…
Dean: No. We won. I’m not turning around to look at it. We won.

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Dean: One annoying thing about Y/n is that they offer information when no one asks for it.
Sam: Another annoying thing about Y/n is that their information is almost always right.
Dean: ….It’s really hard to stomach :(
Envy x Reader
So, I have a weird friend who somehow never watched FMA. I was rewatching it and mentioned it to her. She fell in love with Envy's character. She went to find fanfics, and there is nothing. I remember reading a good amount when Brotherhood first came out, and for the original incorrect FMA, so I guess they were all deleted when fanfiction.net did that purge smh.
So she begged asked me to write something for her. Because I do feel guilty and know how it feels not to find fanfics for a character you like...I decided to write it for her. Maybe two parts. This part already has 10,500 words but I'm not sure if I like it or not. 🙃
IDK but there will be smut in the second part as part of my friend's request.
Envy is referred to as he/him.
I love Envy's reactions in this scene lmao
It was a really stupid idea. Most people have sensible friends to prevent them from doing something this stupid. Not only do you not have enough friends, but the ones you do have don’t stop you from doing stupid things.
Furthermore, one of the friends who didn’t stop you is the same one who led you to this predicament. You had been laughing at her while she held the book up to your small group, claiming that it could summon demons, among other things.
“There’s no way that’s real. If it were real, there would be demons or other supernatural stuff happening all over the world. You’re being ridiculous.” You had scoffed at her. Another friend asked her if she planned to do one of the summons or rituals. “No. You don’t mess with stuff like that.”
“It’s not real.” You scoff again.
“Well ____, if it’s not real, why don’t you try it?”
You gaze down at the summoning circle crafted from rope and sticks. Is this right? Holding the book open in your left hand, you compare the circle illustrated in the book with the one on the ground, shifting your gaze back and forth. “It needs blood?” you murmur to yourself, translating the text with your phone.
You awkwardly stare at the uneven circle and then at the book. Do you even have anything to draw blood with? Yes, you have a small pocket knife. Will you use it to draw blood? No. You aren’t gonna risk an infection for this. Shifting your attention back to your phone, you notice something: a bandage. It's from a small, yet painful, papercut you had earlier in the day.
Without a second thought, you remove the bandage and drop it in the center of the circle.
“Okay, that should do it. I think.” You shrug. “Wait, what language do I read this in?” Do you read it translated or attempt to read it in the native language?
You decide to go with the language of the book. Latin? It doesn’t matter. Sighing, you place your phone in your back pocket and begin to read the words. Fumbling over every few words as you read.
Nothing.
“Huh. I guess I either did it wrong, or it just doesn’t work,” you laugh lightly, thinking it’s probably both. Turning away from the circle, you reach for the bag that carried all the rope.
“Hey! You!”
You pause and slowly turn around. Something is in the center of the summoning circle. Something that speaks. Confusion washes over you. Did your dumbass actually summon something? Mia is going to have your head.
You stare down at the small green creature in disbelief. “Hey! I’m talking to you!” it snaps, glaring at you.
Slowly, you lower yourself until you’re squatting down in front of it. “Hi?”
The creature seems unimpressed by your attempt at a greeting, and it glances around the circle. “Did you summon me? Why would you do that?!” It snaps at you.
“I didn’t—” it gives you an unimpressed look. “Okay, so I didn’t mean to.”
“So, you didn’t mean to summon me?”
“…yeah.”
“You summoned me, and you didn’t mean to? Why are humans so stupid?” it remarks casually, tossing an insult your way. You frown—an odd worm-like creature just insulted you. You lean in slightly for a closer look. It has six tiny legs, a tail, and… a strange mouth? You struggle to comprehend its appearance.
“Sorry, I, uh, didn’t expect it to work. Honestly, I was trying to prove to my friend that it wouldn’t. I don’t know what to say.”
“You can start by telling me where I am.”
“Uh…what do you mean? Like—”
“Idiot.” Another insult your way.
Awkwardly, you mumble the name of the nearest city. It looks at you like you have three heads. “Where?” It snaps at you. “What country?”
You answer it.
The little green thing stares at you like you’re crazy. “What? How far is it from Amestris?”
“Where?”
“You really are an idiot.”
Huffing, you stand back up. “How do you spell it? I’ll look it up.” You pull out your phone as you question it. It looks curiously at the device but doesn’t comment on it; instead, it tells you how to spell it.
“…That’s not a country; it’s the name of an old queen from around 400 BC.” You turn your phone around to show the creature, and it quickly scans the text.
You have to hold back from asking, 'Who's the idiot now?’ As you hold the phone up to the odd creature, you lean in more to get a better look at it. Wait, you watch as it’s eyes scan the text. It can read? “So…what are you anyway?”
“A homunculus.”
You slowly stand back up and tuck your phone into your pocket. “Okay, well, what do we do now?” Honestly, every instinct inside you screams to run. But you are the one who summoned it. So, you ignore your instincts that might have been able to save you from what happens next.
“I don’t know.” It glances around its surroundings before fixating on you with an intense stare. After a few minutes of what feels like an awkward staring contest, the creature suddenly dashes toward you and scurries up your leg. You let out an involuntary scream, falling backward onto the ground as you frantically try to shake it off.
Avoiding your hands swatting at it, it runs until it’s on your shoulder.
It bites you.
You scream again.
“Stop screaming!” It snaps, “You’re going to burst my eardrum!”
Your shoulder burns as you lift your hand to cover the open wound, forgetting about knocking the parasite thing off your body. “It hurts!” you snap back at it. It scoffs at your reaction. “You’re weak.”
“So?” You turn your head, trying to catch a glimpse of the creature when you remember it’s on your shoulder. “I never claimed otherwise. Get off me.” You swipe at it once more, but it simply shifts to your other shoulder.
“I want you to take me into town.” The creature stares at you expectantly.
“Why would I do that?! You just—”
“I’ll bite you again,” it warns.
“What? Why did you bite me the first time? That's not a normal bite. Are you venomous? Do I need to go to the hospital?”
The asshole scoffs at you and climbs up and causally sits on top of your head. “What are you doing?!”
“Didn’t I tell you to stop screaming?” it scoffs. “I’m trying to figure out where I am.”
I’ll just take it into town, and once we’re there, I can just leave it wherever, and I’ll never have to see it again. Maybe I’ll even wake up in my bed and realize it’s a weird dream at some point. You choose to ignore the fact that if it were a dream, the bite wouldn’t have felt that painful.
After a few minutes of walking in awkward silence, you decide to question it. “So, do you have a name?”
“Envy.”
“I’m ______.”
It doesn’t acknowledge your introduction, and the rest of the walk to the town is quiet, except for the occasional twig snapping beneath your feet. Envy moved back on your shoulder at some point, its tiny claws digging just enough into your skin to remind you of its presence. The wound from its bite throbs with each step.
"You walk too slowly," it complains after a while.
"Sorry, my shoulder hurts," you mutter.
"Your blood tastes strange," Envy remarks suddenly. "Different from what I'm used to."
"That's... disturbing," you mutter, quickening your pace. The trail opens up to the outskirts of town, small houses coming into view. “Is that a car?” Disbelief fills its voice. “What year is it?” It hisses.
“2025, why?”
“I came from 1915.”
Curious, you google cars from 1915. “Hey, Envy, is this what cars look like where you’re from?”
The creature's tiny body stiffens on your shoulder as it stares at your phone screen. "Yes. Something like that." There's a different tone to its voice now—something almost vulnerable beneath the hostility.
You frown; you just uprooted this creature from whatever world it came from. Guilt twists in your stomach. As you approach the town's first buildings, Envy suddenly darts beneath your collar, its cold body pressing against your neck. "Hey!" you protest.
"Shut up," it hisses against your skin. "I can't let people see me like this."
The warmth of its breath against your neck sends an uncomfortable shiver down your spine. "Fine, but stop moving around so much."
Walking through town with a homunculus hidden against your neck proves more difficult than you'd imagined. Every time someone passes, Envy presses closer.
“So, what are you going to do, Envy?”
Envy shifts on your shoulder, its tail brushing against your neck. "Find a way back to where I belong, obviously. And you're going to help me."
"I don’t know—"
"You'll help me," Envy interrupts, leaning closer to your ear, its voice dropping to a whisper that sends an unwelcome shiver down your spine. "Or I'll do much worse than bite you."
The threat hangs in the air between you, and you swallow hard.
"Fine," you mutter, trying not to look like you're talking to yourself. "This is my fault, I guess.”
Envy snorts. “You guess?”
“I’m sorry, okay? I need to go home first. I can't exactly research interdimensional travel standing in the middle of the street."
Envy makes a sound that might be in agreement.
The walk to your apartment is, thankfully, short. Once inside, you lock the door, and Envy immediately slithers down your arm, landing on the coffee table.
"This is where you live?" it asks, tiny eyes darting around your modest living space.
“Yes," you reply, heading to the bathroom to clean the bite wound. It's deeper than you expected, with strange purple marks radiating from the punctures. Should I go to the hospital? You frown at the mark as you touch the edge with your fingers.
When you return, Envy has crawled onto your laptop, tiny legs pressing random keys.
"What is this device?" it demands.
"It's a computer," you explain, gently moving Envy aside to close the random applications it had opened. Envy scurries back onto the keyboard, staring at the screen with what you could swear is fascination. "Your world's technology is... interesting."
You sink heavily onto the couch, the reality of your situation finally hitting you. "So you're really from another world? Another time?"
"Keep up," Envy snaps but then appears to deflate slightly. "I was in the middle of something important when you brought me here." Its tiny body trembles with what might be rage.
"What were you doing?" you ask, genuinely curious despite your better judgment.
"Dying," Envy says simply.
The blunt response catches you off guard. "I'm... sorry?"
"Don't be," it hisses, turning away from you. "It was my choice. Better than continuing to exist with humans mocking me." Envy's tiny body curls in on itself slightly, recalling the situation with Edward Elric. "But somehow, you brought me here instead."
You lean closer, fascinated despite yourself. "Mocking you?"
"Don't!" Envy snaps, whipping around to face you. "Don't you dare feel sorry for me. I've killed more humans than you've ever encountered."
The casual admission of murder should terrify you, but something in Envy's tone—an element of desperate bravado—causes you to doubt its complete truthfulness. Or perhaps the small, pitiful form diminishes the reality of the threat.
"If you're so dangerous, why do you need my help?" you ask, pressing your hand against your throbbing bite wound.
Envy's tiny eyes narrow. "I need to figure out a way back. Or at least..." Its voice trails off, and for a moment, the creature appears almost forlorn.
"At least what?" you press.
"My other form," Envy mutters. "This pathetic body is just what's left after..." It shakes its head. "Never mind. You wouldn't understand it."
You reach for your laptop, being careful not to disturb the creature. "Let me research homunculi. Maybe there's something that could help.” As you type, Envy crawls closer, its body warm against your wrist. You fight the impulse to pull away.
"This is pointless," Envy hisses after you've gone through several websites about alchemical homunculi in mythology. "These are just human tales. None of this is real where you're from."
"What exactly do you want me to do?" you snap back, fatigue and the pain from your bite making you irritable.
Envy is quiet for a moment, its tiny body unnaturally still. "I need... energy," it finally says. "In my world, I was powered by something called a Philosopher's Stone. It contained... life force.”
A chill runs down your spine. Hadn’t you read something like that a few years ago? But what you read said…"Life force? Like... souls?"
Envy's tiny head tilts up to look at you. "Maybe you’re smarter than I thought."
"Thanks," you respond flatly. "So what, you need to consume souls to return to normal?"
"Not necessarily souls," Envy says, its voice now softer. "But life energy... yes. In this form, I'm weak. Pathetic." The last word escapes as a hiss of self-loathing.
You gaze at the tiny creature, attempting to decipher what it's conveying to you. "So you need to... what? Kill people?"
"Don't sound so shocked," Envy scoffs as it crawls closer to you. "Humans kill each other all the time for much less significant reasons."
"That doesn't make it right," you argue, unconsciously leaning away.
Envy's small body trembles with what could be laughter. "Right? Wrong? Those are just human concepts. I'm beyond such trivial morality."
Even though it's small, there's something profoundly unsettling about its manner of speaking—a casual cruelty that sends chills down your spine.
"There has to be another way," you insist, wincing as the bite on your shoulder throbs.
Envy crawls up your arm, inspecting the wound it left behind. You flinch as its tiny legs brush against the purple-edged punctures.
"Your blood..." it remarks, almost thoughtfully. "It's doing something unusual."
With growing alarm, you glance down at the wound. The purple discoloration has spread slightly, and the veins around it darken. "What did you do to me?" Your voice rises with panic.
"Nothing intentional," Envy replies, sounding almost intrigued. "But it seems my essence is having an effect on you. Interesting."
"Interesting? I'm being poisoned by an interdimensional parasite, and all you can say is 'interesting'?" You stand up abruptly, almost sending Envy tumbling off your shoulder.
"Careful!" it snaps, digging its tiny claws into your skin to stay attached. "And I'm not a parasite. I'm a superior being."
"Superior beings don't usually end up as tiny worms hiding in strangers' collars," you retort, immediately regretting that you antagonized the creature.
To your surprise, Envy doesn't bite you again. Instead, it makes an annoyed sound. “Just give me some of your blood; I want to test it.”
"My blood?" Disbelief fills your voice. "You want me to... what? Cut myself for you? I’m not doing that." You weren’t interested in cutting yourself when you were stupidly playing with the summoning circle; you’re still not interested in doing it now.
"Don't be so dramatic," Envy scoffs. "It’s just a small amount. The bite I gave you is already bleeding anyway."
You hesitate, your hand hovering over the wound on your shoulder. The purple discoloration has spread further, forming a web-like pattern beneath your skin. "And what if I refuse?"
"Then I'll take it, regardless," Envy states plainly. "Though, it may become... messier."
“Fine.”
You scream in pain as Envy's teeth dig into your already wounded flesh. The sensation is different this time—more intense, like liquid fire coursing through your veins. Your vision blurs, darkening at the edges as an unfamiliar warmth spreads from the bite throughout your body.
"Stop," you gasp, but your voice sounds distant, even to your own ears. "Envy, that's enough. What happened to warning people!”
The creature disregards you, persistently drawing your blood with disturbing eagerness. You attempt to swat it away, but your limbs feel heavy and unresponsive. The room tilts sideways as you fall onto the couch.
Just as darkness begins to completely overtake your vision, Envy detaches from your shoulder. "Your blood..." Envy's voice sounds different—somehow fuller. "It's compatible. More than compatible. It's perfect."
It’s the last thing you hear before you pass out.
"Much better," Envy purrs, stretching his newly formed arms above his head. "Still not my full power, but at least I'm not that pathetic thing anymore." His eyes scan your slumped form on the sofa. “I can’t take more from her, or she’ll die.” He sighs to himself, unsure if any other humans in this world have similar blood; he’s not willing to risk killing you for now. He easily lifts you up and begins walking toward your bedroom.
When you wake up, you’re in your bed, and relief washes over you. It was a dream. But as you sit up, a sharp pain in your shoulder reminds you it wasn't a dream at all. The room spins slightly, and you press a hand to your forehead, trying to steady yourself. The bite wound throbs under your fingertips, the strange purple veins still visible but no longer spreading.
"Finally awake?"
The voice—smooth and mocking—comes from the doorway. You snap your head up, and what you see makes your breath catch in your throat.
Standing there is not the tiny green creature from before but rather a slender figure with long dark hair and striking violet eyes. He wears a tight black crop top paired with a skort, showcasing his pale skin and lean, muscular build. His smile is predatory, revealing teeth that appear just a touch too sharp to belong to a human.
"E-Envy?" you stammer, pulling your blanket tighter as if it could offer protection.
"The one and only," he purrs, gliding into the room with a fluid grace that is as beautiful as it is fearsome. "Thanks for the blood, by the way. It seems you're rather... nutritious."
You stare at him, unable to process the transformation. This beautiful androgynous person bears little resemblance to the tiny worm-like creature that you met in the forest. "How...?"
"Your blood," Envy explains, examining his own hand with evident pleasure. "It possesses properties similar to a Philosopher's Stone. Not as powerful, but..." he flexes his fingers, smiling. "Enough to restore this form, at least for a while."
You attempt to stand but instantly regret it as dizziness overtakes you. Envy moves with unnatural speed, catching you before you collapse.
"Careful," he says, his voice mockingly sweet. "You've lost quite a bit of blood. I wouldn't want my new food source to hurt herself."
His touch feels cool against your skin, his fingers gripping your arms with enough pressure to come off as a warning.
"Food source?" you repeat, pulling away from him. "I'm not—"
"Oh, but you are," Envy interrupts, his violet eyes gleaming. "Until I find a way back to my world or a better source of power, your blood is what's keeping me in this form." He leans in closer, and you can feel his breath against your cheek. "Unless you'd prefer that I find someone else? Perhaps that nice elderly neighbor of yours? Or the child I saw playing in the hallway?"
Your stomach turns at the implicit threat. "You wouldn't."
"Wouldn't I?" Envy's smile broadens. "You have no idea what I'm capable of or what I've done." He trails his fingers along the mark he has left behind. "Don't worry; I won't take too much at once. That would be... inefficient."
You try to steady yourself, mind racing. "How much do you need?"
Envy shrugs, an elegant roll of his shoulders. "It’s hard to say. This form needs maintenance." His hand reaches out to touch your face, tilting it up to examine you. "But I suspect that small, regular feedings will work best. For both of us."
His fingers against your skin make your heart race—fear, you tell yourself, nothing else.
"Do you know why my blood is special?” you ask, making an effort to keep your composure.
Envy drops his hand and sits on the edge of your bed, completely uninvited. The mattress sinks slightly beneath his weight—he feels solid, tangible. You’re tempted to poke him in a ‘is this real’ way, because how the hell did the parasite change into this attractive person?
"I don't know," he admits, a look of genuine perplexity crossing his face. "Based on what you’ve said and what we read on your…computer…humans in this world shouldn't possess any alchemical properties in their blood. And yet..." He gestures to himself. "Here I am."
You watch him warily, noting how different he appears in this form—still dangerous, still cruel, yet possessing a strange, captivating beauty that makes it difficult to look away. His androgynous features, lithe body, and violet eyes seem to see right through you. Moreover, he appears to truly revel in this form. Although his name is Envy, in this form, he comes across as more vain than envious.
"So I guess you’ll be my new roommate?” You make a light joke, trying to brush on the fact you’re basically being forced to home him.
Envy shrugs and looks up at you. "Unless you have a better suggestion?"
You stare at the man. Is there a better suggestion? No, not at the moment. As long as he doesn’t hurt you, it should be okay for now, right? “We need some rules.”
Envy raises an eyebrow, seeming amused. "Rules? You really think you can set rules for me?" He suddenly sits up and leans forward until his face is inches from yours. "Don't forget what I am, human."
You bite your lower lip and glance away. “Actually…I kind of already forgot.”
“Seriously?”
“A lot has happened, okay?”
Envy stares at you for a long moment before bursting into laughter—not the mocking kind from before, but something more genuine that transforms his face. It's oddly charming, and you can't help but stare.
"You’re odd," he says, shaking his head. "I've threatened you, bitten you, drank your blood, and you've... forgotten what I am?"
You shrug, wincing as the movement pulls at your wounded shoulder. "Like I said, it's been a weird day."
Envy studies you with unnerving violet eyes. "I'm a homunculus—an artificially created being. Although the term 'human' may be a stretch. We exceed humans in every aspect." There's a practiced arrogance in his tone, yet something beneath it feels hollow.
"If you think you're so superior, then why did you end up as a tiny worm?" you ask, unable to hold back your curiosity.
His expression instantly turns dark. "Watch your tongue," he snaps as the fleeting moment of camaraderie dissipates. "That form was merely a temporary setback."
You raise your hands in surrender. "Sorry. I didn't mean to—"
Envy's eyes narrow dangerously, but after a moment, he leans back with a dramatic sigh and changes the subject. "What 'rules' do you propose?"
You need to learn more about him. Is he truly dangerous, or does he just have a nasty bite? "First, no hurting anyone," you say firmly. "Second, you can't leave the apartment without me. Third..." you pause for a moment, "you need to let me know when you need... blood. No more surprise attacks."
Envy considers this, gently tapping a slender finger against his lips. "Boring, but acceptable—for now." He suddenly stands and strides over to examine his reflection in your bedroom mirror. "This form isn't quite right," he murmurs, more to himself than to you. "I'm not at full strength."
You watch him as he meticulously runs his hands over his body, examining his appearance with a critical eye.
He raises an eyebrow upon noticing your gaze fixed on him. With his back still turned, he speaks to you through the mirror. “Like what you see?” He questions with a cocky tone.
A flush of warmth spreads across your cheeks as you're caught staring. "I—I was just curious about how you can change your form like that," you stammer, striving to regain your dignity.
Envy turns away from the mirror, a knowing smirk playing on his lips. "Sure you were." He strides back toward your bed. "It's my ability. My true form is..." he hesitates, a flicker of discomfort crossing his face, "...not important. Anyway, this is my preferred form, but it’s still not quite right.”
"What's wrong with it?" you ask carefully. To your eyes, his figure is striking— unnervingly beautiful in its androgynous perfection.
"It's not as strong as it should be," Envy replies, flexing his fingers. "Limited. I can't transform into anything else." He suddenly turns to you, his eyes shining. "I'll need more blood soon."
Your hand instinctively moves to your wounded shoulder. "You just took some."
"And much of it was used to sustain this form," he replies smoothly. "Don't worry, I won't drain you dry... not yet." His smile is all teeth.
You swallow hard. "You promised to warn me first."
"Consider this your warning," Envy says as he steps closer to the bed. "Not right now, but soon. Tomorrow, perhaps." He reaches out to gently brush a strand of hair from your face, the gesture surprisingly intimate. "You should eat something. I need you to be healthy."
The casual way he talks about your body as if it's just a resource for him sends a chill down your spine. "I'm not cattle," you protest, but your voice lacks conviction.
"Of course not," Envy replies, his voice soothing, yet his eyes retain a predatory gleam. "Cattle are replaceable, but from what I know so far, your blood is unique. It may be common among humans in this world, but I’d rather be safe and keep you healthy just in case it isn't." He glides a finger along your jawline, his touch as light as a feather.
"Lucky me," you mutter, attempting to dismiss the peculiar flutter in your stomach at his touch. You tell yourself it's merely fear, nothing else.
Envy pulls back, stretching his arms above his head. The movement causes his muscles to flex, and when he notices you staring, he winks. "You know, there are ways I can repay for your donation.”
Your face flushes with embarrassment at the implication, and you raise your hands, quickly shaking your head. "No, no, I—"
He cuts you off. "Rest. Recover. I need you strong. We can talk about the different ways I can repay you later.”
As he strolls out of your bedroom, you sink back into your pillows, the exhaustion and blood loss finally catching up to you. Your life has changed dramatically in just a few hours—from simple curiosity to becoming the reluctant blood donor for a homunculus with a superiority complex.
You can hear Envy moving about your apartment, rifling through drawers and cabinets without any regard for your privacy. You've invited a predator into your home—all because of that stupid book and your curiosity.
When you next open your eyes, you find the room has grown darker. You must have dozed off. A dull ache radiates from your shoulder as you sit up slowly, testing your strength. Though you're weak, the dizziness has finally subsided.
"Finally awake again?" Envy's voice comes from the doorway. He's leaning against the frame, arms crossed over his chest, watching you with those unsettling violet eyes.
"How long was I out?" you ask, voice raspy.
"A few hours," he said, pushing off from the doorway as he approaches the bed. "Your world is odd; there are so many devices I don't recognize." He sits on the edge of your bed without invitation. “I see that humans kill each other constantly. At least some things remain consistent across worlds."
You struggle to sit up straighter, maintaining a cautious distance between you and Envy. You can hear the TV from the other room, it sounds like some kind of action movie. "That's just fiction—TV shows and movies. Real life isn't like that."
"Isn't it?" Envy's lips curl into a knowing smirk. "I also found your 'news' channels. Wars, murders, betrayals—seems humans are the same despicable creatures everywhere." He leans closer, his hair falling forward to frame his face. "Humans are the same, no matter where you go.”
"Not all humans are cruel," you argue, feeling an odd urge to defend your kind.
Envy laughs, the sound both musical and mocking. "How adorably naive." His hand reaches out to touch your wounded shoulder, pressing just hard enough to make you wince. "Humans pretend to be kind, to care for one another, but when tested..." His fingers trace the purple veins spreading from the bite. "They always reveal their true nature."
You pull away from his touch. "Is that why you hate humans so much?"
His expression hardens immediately as he leans in closer, his face just inches from yours. "I see you for what you truly are—weak, pathetic beings who pretend to be noble while slaughtering each other over imaginary lines on maps."
Something in his voice makes you pause. Beneath the contempt, there's an emotion you can't quite identify—something almost like longing.
"If we're so pathetic," you ask quietly, "why does it bother you so much?"
Envy freezes, his violet eyes widening slightly. For just a fleeting moment, a hint of vulnerability flashes across his face before being swiftly concealed by anger.
"It doesn't 'bother' me," he snaps, jerking away from you suddenly. "I just find your species' hypocrisy amusing."
You're not convinced, but you know better than to push. Instead, you swing your legs over the side of the bed, testing your strength. "I need to eat something," you mutter, the emptiness in your stomach making itself known with a loud growl.
Envy watches you with a neutral expression as you stand, swaying a bit. "You’re weaker than before," he comments, though his tone holds less mockery than it did before.
"Blood loss tends to do that," you reply dryly.
To your surprise, Envy moves to your side, wrapping an arm around your waist to steady you. His touch feels warm against your skin, and his strength is evident in the effortless way he supports your weight. "I told you I need you healthy," he says, his breath tickling your ear. "You're no use to me dead."
You want to pull away and refuse his help on principle, yet your legs feel like rubber, and the room tilts dangerously. With reluctance, you lean into him as he guides you toward the kitchen.
"I can manage," you insist weakly, even as you stumble slightly.
Envy makes a dismissive sound. "Clearly." His arm tightens around you, and despite everything, there's something oddly comforting about his solid presence beside you.
In the kitchen, he unceremoniously sets you down in a chair. "What do you need to eat after losing blood?" he asks, opening your refrigerator and peering inside with curiosity in his eyes.
"Red meat, leafy greens, anything high in iron," you reply, watching him cautiously. It’s odd to see him casually rummaging through your fridge.
"You have... none of those things," Envy observes as he looks at the refrigerator with a look of disdain. "Just packaged foods and leftovers." He picks up a takeout container, sniffs it, and wrinkles his nose before tossing it into the trash in the corner of the room.
"I didn’t exactly expect to become a blood donor today," you mutter. "There's probably some spinach in the freezer."
Envy turns to the freezer, yanking it open with more force than necessary. "This?" He holds up a package of frozen spinach and examines it suspiciously.
You attempt to stand to help.
"Sit," Envy commands, pushing you back into the chair with one hand. I need you to be functional, which means you need to eat. I'll prepare it."
You watch as Envy inspects your kitchen, opening drawers and cabinets with increasing frustration. There's something almost comical about him attempting to navigate a modern kitchen.
Eventually, he gathers everything he needs, and to your surprise, he starts preparing the meal… and he’s doing it correctly. "You know how to cook?”
He shrugs. “I had to act as a housewife a few times. I had to cook to play the part.”
You stare at him in confusion. "How did you act as a housewife?”
"I can shape-shift," Envy says casually as if explaining something obvious. "When I'm at full power, I can take any human form." He stirs the spinach, adding a pinch of salt he found in your cupboard. "I've been soldiers, servants, nobles, children... whatever was needed for the mission."
"That's..." you search for the right word, "interesting."
Envy's lips quirk into a smirk. "It's useful. Humans are so easily fooled by a familiar face." He glances at you over his shoulder. "I could become anyone you know, and you wouldn't be able to tell the difference."
The thought sends a chill down your spine. "Please don't."
"No promises," he replies, turning his attention back to the food. As Envy cracks eggs into a pan with surprising skill, you find yourself observing him. His graceful movements and confident posture—everything about him is captivating in a dangerous way.
"You're staring again," Envy comments, amusement lacing his voice without him even looking back.
"Sorry," you mutter, feeling embarrassed at being caught again. "It's just... strange to see you cooking my dinner."
Envy turns, spatula in hand, an amused expression on his face. "Is it? I told you—I need you healthy."
"Right," you say, observing him as he places the eggs on a plate next to the spinach. "My blood is special."
"Exactly," he says, placing the plate in front of you. "Eat."
The food smells surprisingly good. You take a cautious bite, then another, your hunger overcoming your hesitation. Envy observes you eat with an intensity that is slightly uncomfortable.
"This is actually good," you admit between bites.
"Don't be so surprised," Envy replies, casually leaning against the counter. "I excel at everything I do."
You roll your eyes at his arrogance but continue eating. "So," you say between bites. "In your world... what were you doing before you ended up here?"
Envy's expression darkens. "I told you. Dying."
"Right, but... why?" You wish you hadn’t asked as soon as the words escaped your lips.
Envy's expression becomes one of cold hostility as if the very air in the room has turned icy. His violet eyes narrow ominously, creating the impression that the temperature has dropped several degrees. "That's not a conversation we're having," he states, each word as cold as ice. "Never."
You swallow hard and lower your gaze to your plate. "Sorry, I didn't mean to—"
"Of course you did," Envy interrupts, his tone laced with disdain. "Humans always seem to be so curious about matters that don't concern them." He turns away, his back tense with frustration. "Just finish your food."
The silence that follows is thick and uncomfortable. You eat without really tasting the food, fully aware of Envy's presence—his controlled breathing and the slight tremor in his hands reveal a powerful emotion just beneath the surface.
After finishing your meal, you clear your throat. "Thank you for the food."
Envy doesn't respond right away. When he finally turns back to you, his expression is carefully neutral, with the earlier vulnerability locked away behind a mask of indifference.
"You should sleep more," he says, his voice disturbingly calm. "Your body needs to recover."
For the third time, you wake up, wondering if it was all just a dream. To your left, the clock shows just past eight in the morning. There is no sound coming from your house. Could it truly have been a dream?
You push yourself up against the pillows, wincing slightly as the movement strains your injured shoulder. The ache confirms that it was no dream. With cautious fingers, you peel back the edge of your shirt to inspect the bite. The purple veins have faded somewhat, but the puncture wounds still feel tender and inflamed.
"It's healing," comes a voice from the corner of your room.
You jump, your heart leaping into your throat as you see Envy. He's sitting in your reading chair, one leg draped elegantly over the armrest, watching you with those unsettling violet eyes. "Do you always watch people while they sleep?" you ask, pulling your blanket higher.
"Only the ones I find interesting," Envy replies, his lips curving into that now-familiar smirk. "And you, human, are becoming increasingly interesting to me." He rises in one fluid motion and approaches the bed. Today, there's something different about him—though you can’t really put your finger on what it is.
"You look... better," you observe cautiously.
"I feel better," Envy acknowledges, stretching his arms above his head. "Your blood has worked wonders. I'm nearly at full strength."
"Does that mean you'll be leaving soon?" you ask, uncertain whether to feel hopeful or oddly disappointed by the possibility.
Envy laughs, his voice rich and melodious. "Leave? Where would I go?" He perches on the edge of your bed, as uninvited as ever. "Besides, I still require regular… maintenance." His gaze drifts to your shoulder, pausing on the bite mark.
You instinctively cover the wound with your hand. "You promised you'd warn me next time."
"And I will," Envy says, his voice lowering into a silky purr. "Consider yourself warned. I need more today."
A flutter of anxiety intertwines with another feeling in your stomach—one that you're hesitant to recognize.
Your heart pounds as you face Envy, the weight of your predicament striking you again. His violet eyes follow the pulse in your neck, and you wonder if he can feel your fear. "Now?" you ask, hating how small your voice sounds.
"Soon," Envy replies, running a finger along the edge of your blanket. "First, you should eat again. Strengthen yourself." His lips quirk into that predatory smile. "I prefer you to be willing."
"I'm not exactly willing," you point out. "I'm just avoiding the alternative where you hurt other people."
Envy tilts his head, studying you with an unsettling intensity. "Noble. Or maybe selfish? Keeping me all to yourself?" He leans in closer, his hair grazing your cheek. "Are you certain it's only fear that makes your heart race when I'm near you?"
You push him back, your hand resting against his chest. He is solid and warm to the touch. You pull away as if he burned you. "I feel like you were given the wrong name.”
“Oh?”
Gently, you rise from the bed. “Your name is Envy, yet you appear more vain than anything else."
Envy narrows his eyes, yet an amused smirk tugs at the corners of his lips. "Vain? I understand why you might think that." He follows you into the kitchen. "Vanity is merely a... side effect."
You open the refrigerator, thinking about what could help replenish your blood. "Side effect of what?" you ask, not looking at him.
"Of perfection," he replies, but there's a hollow note in his tone that makes you look over your shoulder.
He leans against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest, watching you with those violet eyes. For a moment—just a fleeting second—you catch a glimpse of something raw and wounded beneath his arrogant facade.
"Why envy, then?" you ask, turning back to the fridge to grab eggs and spinach once more. You’ll have to go shopping later today. "What could someone like you possibly envy?"
“I need more blood.”
“You can wait until I eat!”
“No. I can’t.”
The sudden harshness in Envy's voice makes you turn around quickly. His eyes have changed—the violet irises now burning with an intensity that sends a chill down your spine. "I've been patient," he says, moving toward you with a predatory grace. "I rather you be more willing, but it’s time. Now."
You back up until you hit the counter, the cool edge pressing against your lower back. "I thought you wanted me to eat first, to be stronger. Why do you suddenly want my blood?”
"Plans change," Envy replies, now standing directly in front of you. His hand reaches up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, the gesture almost tender despite the hunger in his eyes. "Don't worry. I won't take too much."
Your heart pounds against your ribs as he leans in, his lips gliding against your neck. The sensation sends an unwelcome shiver through you—fear intertwined with something else you refuse to acknowledge.
"Will it hurt?" you whisper, your voice barely audible.
Envy leans back a bit, studying your face intently. A flicker of surprise passes through his expression, possibly due to your resignation rather than any form of resistance. "Less than before," he murmurs. His fingers trace along your collarbone, pushing aside the collar of your shirt to expose the still-healing bite mark on your shoulder. The purple veins have receded, but the puncture wounds remain tender and slightly discolored.
"Relax," Envy orders, his voice a silky whisper against your skin.
You close your eyes, bracing yourself for pain. Instead, you feel his lips press against your shoulder again, this time, he presses two kisses against the wound. Then his teeth break your skin.
The sensation is different from before—a sharp sting followed by a strange, spreading warmth rather than searing pain. You gasp, your hand reflexively coming up to grip his shoulder for stability as your knees threaten to buckle. A moment later, there is a knock on the door, and Envy glances at it with a smirk. “You should get that.”
You push him away and head to the door. Before you can reach it, the friend you borrowed the book from is already calling you. “______!”
“Go ahead, answer it.” Envy smirks at you.
“Then go to the bedroom.”
“No.”
“Envy-” You're cut off as your friend knocks again, calling out to you. “Fine. I don’t care. Do whatever.”
As you head for the door, you try to think of a way to explain the oddly dressed man in your house.
You open the door just a crack, trying to block the view into your apartment. Mia’s face brightens when she sees you. "There you are! I've been calling you all day! Did you try the ritual? I was so worried when you didn't answer, I thought maybe you accidentally summoned a demon. I told you-”
"I'm fine," you cut her off, forcing a smile. "Just feeling a little under the weather."
Her expression shifts to concern as she studies your face. "You look unwell. Are you sick?"
"Something like that." You resist the urge to glance over your shoulder, knowing Envy is somewhere behind you, listening.
"Can I come in?" She attempts to look around you. "I was thinking I should take my book back. Hopefully, before you accidentally summon a demon. I know you said you don’t believe in it, but…"
Your stomach drops. "Now's not really a good time—"
"Who's this?" A voice comes from directly behind you, making you jump. His arm slides around your waist in a gesture of casual possessiveness, pulling you against him.
You glance over your shoulder, not recognizing the voice. Behind you, a brown-haired man with warm green eyes has you pulled against his chest.
Mia’s eyes widen in shock as she takes in the stranger holding you, her gaze moving rapidly between your faces. "Oh! I didn't realize you had... company."
You freeze, unable to process what's happening. That’s Envy right? He said he can change forms. The man behind you is definitely not the Envy you've come to know—gone are the androgynous features, violet eyes, and dark hair. Instead, he appears completely normal-looking with soft brown hair and warm green eyes that crinkle at the corners when he smiles at your friend. He’s even wearing normal clothes a green t-shirt and jeans.
"I'm James," he says, extending his free hand while keeping the other firmly around your waist. "You must be one of _____'s friends?"
Mia takes his hand, clearly flustered. "Yes, I'm... I just came by to check on _____ and pick up a book I lent."
Envy—now "James"—smiles warmly. "That's so thoughtful of you. _____ has been feeling a bit under the weather, so I've been taking care of her." His thumb traces small circles on your hip, the gesture is both possessive and intimate.
"I can see that," Mia replies, a knowing smile spreading across her face. You frown but choose not to comment, not wanting to drag her into your own foolishness. “Actually, could I ask you for a favor?” You lean your weight against ‘James’ as the effects of your unwilling blood donations and lack of sustenance start to catch up with you. Envy keeps his warm smile and wraps his arms around you, keeping you against him comfortably.
“Sure, what do you need?”
“Could you pick up some groceries for me?”
Mia gives you a confused look, and you can’t blame her. After all, why would she pick up groceries when there’s a perfectly capable man right behind you? “I really wouldn’t ask if I didn’t need it,” you quickly add, pulling out some cash. “I don’t have anything to eat, and I don’t feel well enough to go grocery shopping myself. James can’t go because—” you pause, trying to think of an excuse.
“Because I’m taking care of you, my love, I was so worried when you passed out last night.” Envy, it seems, is an incredible actor, complementing his ability to shift forms. He gently grasps your head and turns you to face him, leaning down to brush his lips softly against yours. “I can’t leave you now.”
Your first instinct is to push him away, and he takes a step back as your face burns with embarrassment while you cover your mouth. Mia completely misinterprets your reaction and coos at you. “Aw _____, don’t be shy because I’m here.” She gushes.
Envy gazes at you with a soft expression, his eyes reflecting a feigned warmth. “She tends to be a bit shy at first,” he chuckles, drawing you back into his arms in what appears to be a tender embrace. “Would you mind picking up the groceries for us?” he asks Mia, placing a gentle kiss on your cheek.
She falls for his acting and quickly agrees.
As soon as the door closes behind her, you push Envy away once more. "What have you done? Oh my God, she’s going to tell everyone! She’ll tell my parents! Oh shit, she’ll text or call my mom before the day is over!" Panic sets in as you pace the floor.
Odd red sparks flash around Envy, abruptly halting your movement. The kind-looking, handsome man morphs into the beautiful yet arrogant homunculus.
“What do I do?!” You snap at him.
He raises his arms while shrugging, “Guess you’ll have to introduce your parents to James.”
“I don’t want to introduce my parents to James!”
He places his hands on his hips and slightly leans forward. “Why? Prefer me like this?”
You take a deep breath. “I can’t introduce my parents to James because when you return to where you came from, my parents and everyone else will have so many questions—countless questions!” You shift your tone, mimicking the incessant and comment that would follow. “Where did James go? He was so sweet. I really thought it would work out for you; you seemed like a perfect match.” You scoff, rolling your eyes in exasperation.
Envy raises a brow. “Who knows, if I’m stuck here unable to leave, maybe you can marry James.”
“James isn’t even my type!”
“You’re going to make James cry.”
When you shoot him a look, he laughs and steps closer, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. “Aw, you’re cute when you pout,” Envy teases. “If James isn’t your type, tell me what is. You could have the perfect husband or wife—what do you want?”
“Why would I want to marry you?” You snap. “Wait, why are we talking about this? It hasn’t even been twenty-four hours.”
“How else are you going to explain a man living with you?”
“You’re my new roommate!”
Envy’s eyes dart toward your bedroom—the only one in your one-bedroom apartment. “Sure, that’s believable,” he says, sarcasm dripping from the words.
“Well, you’re going to sleep on the sofa anyway, so—”
“No, I’m not.”
You freeze. “What do you mean? I only have one bedroom.”
Envy nods. “The bed is big enough for two people. I’m not sleeping on the sofa.”
“I’m not sharing a bed with a stranger!”
“You did last night.”
You freeze. Did Envy sleep in your bed last night? He dismisses your concerns. “You’re being dramatic. If it’s that much of an issue for you, I can just change forms to—"
“Being a different man doesn’t help.”
"—to a pet.”
Your eyes widen. “You can do that?” When Envy nods, you grab a random pillow from the sofa and toss it at him. “What are you doing?" he asks as he lifts his arms to block the pillow, glaring at you. “You could’ve turned into a fucking gerbil or something when she was here, and instead, you choose some random dude to be my boyfriend?”
Envy smirks. “Are you breaking up with me _____?”
"You can't break up with someone who isn't your boyfriend," you retort. "This is insane. How did I go from trying to prove a book was fake to having a homunculus pretending to be my boyfriend?"
Envy's smirk widens as he steps closer, invading your personal space with practiced ease. "Would you prefer I be your actual boyfriend?" His voice drops to a silky purr. "I can be very... accommodating."
"This isn't funny, Envy," you say. "We need to sort this out. Mia thinks I have a boyfriend now, and she's going to tell everyone."
"Is that such a problem?" Envy asks, flopping onto your couch with casual grace. "James seemed quite the catch. Handsome, attentive..." He smirks at you. "A great kisser."
Your face heats at the memory of his lips against yours. "That was completely unnecessary."
"Was it?" Envy's violet eyes glitter with amusement. "It certainly convinced your friend.”
You cross your arms, trying to ignore the flutter in your stomach. "You're changing the subject. What am I supposed to tell Mia when she comes back with groceries?"
"The truth, obviously." At your alarmed expression, Envy rolls his eyes. "Not about me. About James. That you met recently, hit it off, and now he is staying with you while he looks for a place." He stretches his arms above his head, the movement emphasizing his lean, muscular form. "Simple, believable, and it explains my presence."
You sit heavily on the armchair across from him, burying your face in your hands. "This is a disaster."
"You humans are so dramatic," Envy says with a dismissive wave. "Your friend seemed pleased that you found someone. Shouldn't you be thanking me for improving your social standing?"
You look up sharply. "Improving my—? I don't need a fake boyfriend to 'improve my social standing,' thank you very much."
Envy studies you with those unnerving violet eyes. "No? Then why did your friend look so surprised—and relieved—to see you with someone?"
"That's not—" You stop, unable to formulate a proper defense. The truth is, Mia had been trying to set you up with people for months, convinced you were spending too much time alone. "That's beside the point."
"Is it?" Envy leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "From what I've observed, humans place great value on pairing up. Having a partner seems to elevate your status among your peers." His lips curl into a knowing smile. "And you seemed quite flustered by our little kiss."
"It caught me off guard," you protest, perhaps too quickly. "I didn't expect you to do that."
"And yet," Envy says, leaning even closer, "your heart rate increased significantly. I could feel it." He taps his own chest.
You look away, unwilling to engage with his provocations. "Can we please focus on the actual problem? How am I going to explain to Mia when you eventually leave?"
"Who says I'm leaving?" Envy stretches languidly. "For all we know, I could be stuck here indefinitely. Your blood seems to be sustaining me quite well." He studies his hand, flexing his fingers. "Better than I expected, actually."
You stare at him, torn between frustration and grudging admiration for how easily he navigates this charade. "Fine. But I'm not introducing you to my parents."
"Yet," Envy adds with a wink.
Before you can respond, there's a knock at the door. Mia has returned with groceries, faster than you expected. You shoot Envy a panicked look.
Red sparks dance around him as he transforms back into James, his features softening into the handsome, approachable man from before. "Relax," he smirks. "Let me handle this."
It passes in a blur as James charms Mia, taking the groceries and thanking her profusely. He tells her an elaborate story about how you met at a coffee shop two weeks ago, complete with details about your favorite drink and how adorably flustered you were when he asked for your number.
You sit in stunned silence, watching this performance unfold. James is the perfect boyfriend—attentive, caring, and completely devoted to you. He casually mentions future plans—a weekend getaway, meeting your parents—all while maintaining eye contact with you, silently daring you to contradict him.
When Mia finally leaves, promising to call you later for "all the details," you collapse onto the couch, emotionally exhausted.
"That wasn't so bad," Envy says, reverting to his preferred form in a flash of red light. "Your friend adores James."
"This is insane," you mutter, watching as he begins unpacking the groceries Mia brought. "You realize we've created a completely fictional relationship that I now have to maintain?"
Envy shrugs, examining a package of steaks with interest. "It's no different from any other human relationship—built on lies and pretense."
"That's not true," you argue, following him into the kitchen. "Real relationships are built on trust and mutual respect."
"How quaint," Envy drawls, placing the steaks in the refrigerator. "And how many of these 'real relationships' have you experienced?"
You open your mouth to respond, then close it again, swallowing your rebuttal. The truth is, your romantic history is rather lacking. Envy notices your hesitation and smirks.
"That's what I thought," he says, a hint of genuine curiosity beneath his mocking tone. "So why not enjoy the benefits of a fake relationship? No emotional investment, no risk of heartbreak, and your friends stop pestering you." He smirks. “I’ll even let you enjoy the physical part of relationships.”
You begin helping him unpack the groceries, needing something to do with your hands. "Because it's dishonest. And complicated. And temporary." You pause, glancing at him. "You are planning to find a way back eventually, right?"
Something flickers across Envy's face—uncertainty, perhaps even fear—before his usual mask of arrogance returns. "Maybe. Maybe not." He examines a pack of steaks. "These steaks look decent. I'll cook them for dinner." He moves around your kitchen with surprising familiarity. "You need iron to replenish your blood."
“So, if you never go back, you’ll be by fake boyfriend forever?”
Envy smirks at you. “Don’t be ridiculous; I’d eventually have to upgrade to husband."
“Why me?” You groan, dropping your head. Your hands tremble slightly, and suddenly you realize how weak you still feel from the blood loss.
Envy notices immediately, stepping closer to steady you as you stumble. "You need to eat," he says, his tone lacking its usual mockery. "I took too much earlier." He easily lifts you and places you on the bar stool. “What do you want for lunch?”
“I don’t care.”
“You don’t care? Already acting like a difficult wife.”
“I’m not your wife.”
“Yet.”
You straighten in the seat and point accusatorily at him. “You’ve gone from a fucking parasitic creature to someone playing my boyfriend within twenty-four hours. What the hell are you?”
Envy huffs, “I’ve told you—I am a homunculus.” As he speaks, he starts chopping some vegetables. "And you are the one who interrupted my death by bringing me into this world. You’re fortunate I don’t simply keep you tied up and indulge whenever I please. Fortunately for you, I enjoy entertainment. Now, eat before you pass out. I need you alive, after all."
You take the plate he hands you, staring at him warily. He’s going to make this a lot more complicated than it has to be. As you hesitantly take a bite, Envy watches you with open amusement. "Good girl. See? I'm not all bad."
You roll your eyes. "Don't push it."
A comfortable silence settles between you as you eat. Envy leans against the counter, arms crossed, looking strangely at ease in your kitchen. It's unsettling how easily he’s integrating himself into your life within twenty-four hours.
Your eyes scan his lean body, curious about why he dresses this way. Is it common in the world he comes from? Envy looks on with amusement as you openly admire him. He suspects you’re unaware of your gaze, but that won’t prevent him from teasing you. “So, you really do prefer this form, huh?” he grins.
You choke on your food, coughing as you try to regain your composure. "What? No! I was just wondering about your clothes."
"My clothes?" Envy looks down at himself, the crop top and skort combination that seems so out of place in your world.
"Yeah. Is that... normal where you're from?"
Envy's lips curl into a smirk. "No. It's my preference." He does a slow, theatrical turn. "I like how it looks. The freedom of movement. The way it accentuates my perfect form." He strikes a pose that's half-mocking, half-serious. "Does it bother you?"
"No," you say too quickly, feeling heat rise to your cheeks. "I was just curious."
“Would you rather I change?”
“No.”
Envy raises a brow, you said that way too fast.
"Interesting," Envy purrs, leaning closer. "You seem quite adamant about keeping me in this form, these clothes. I wonder why?" His violet eyes glitter with mischief as he studies your flushed face.
"I—I just meant you can wear whatever you want," you stammer, focusing intently on your plate. "It doesn't matter to me."
"If you say so." Envy stretches languidly, the movement deliberately drawing attention to his exposed midriff. "Though I must say, the way your eyes linger suggests otherwise."
You set your fork down with more force than necessary. "Can we talk about something else? Like how we're going to handle this whole situation?"
"What's there to handle?" Envy asks, stealing a piece of food from your plate. "You provide blood, I pretend to be your doting boyfriend when needed, and we both get what we want."
"And what exactly do I get out of this arrangement? I never said I wanted a pretend boyfriend." you challenge.
Envy's smile turns predatory as he leans across the counter. "The knowledge that I'm not out there causing chaos. And..." he pauses, his voice dropping to a silky whisper, "protection. The world can be dangerous for a lone human with such special blood." His fingers brush against yours on the countertop. "Who knows what other creatures might be drawn to you?"
You pull your hand away, though the warmth of his touch lingers. "Are you threatening me or offering protection?"
"Can't it be both?" Envy's smile is all teeth. "I'm simply pointing out the reality of your situation. You summoned me—who knows what else might be out there, sensing your unique... properties."
"Wait, wait, wait," you mutter, pushing your now-empty plate away. "So, you think there might be something else out there that could want to harm me or something?"
Envy shrugs and carries your plate to the sink. "Think of me as the devil you know. Imagine how many are out there that you don’t know," he says while turning on the water and actually washing your dishes. The domesticity of the moment feels jarring against his words. "Besides, James seems quite fond of you. Would being stuck with him really be so terrible?"
You observe him carrying out mundane chores in your kitchen. "James isn't real," you say flatly. “Also, I haven’t seen you do anything besides change forms. Are you truly dangerous? Could you kill someone, or would you just run around biting people?”
Envy smirks, and before you can grasp the situation, a peculiar green entity coils around you, pulling you closer to Envy. “W-what?" you stammer as its grip tightens, leaving you frozen and unsure of how to respond to this strange occurrence. “Well?” he prompts, and you realize that the green, tentacle-like appendage is actually his arm. “What do you think?” he questions as the appendage constricts around you even more. “Am I dangerous enough for you?”
"Let me go!" you gasp, struggling against the inhuman grip. The green appendage feels strangely alive, pulsing against your skin as it holds you firmly in place.
Envy's violet eyes gleam with satisfaction at your reaction as he pulls you closer. "Still doubting my capabilities?" he purrs, his face inches from yours. “I could snap your spine without breaking a sweat. I could transform my arm into a blade and pierce your heart before you could scream."
His grip loosens slightly, allowing you to breathe easier, but he doesn't release you. "But then, who would feed me?" he adds with a wink.
You glance off to the side, trying to ignore how your heart races at his proximity.
"I must admit, you’re becoming more entertaining by the hour," Envy grins, the green appendage finally unwinding from around you. It retracts back into his arm in a flash of red sparks, leaving his form perfect once more.
You step back, putting distance between you. "Glad I can amuse you while you drink my blood." I can’t believe I got myself into this bullshit. You deflate a little at your own stupidity.
Four days.
You’re able to keep the homunculus secret for exactly four days. The only one who knew about him was Mia. You wake up to a text on the fourth day.
Invite James for dinner. Love you.
“I’m going to kill Mia.” You grind your teeth as you stare at the message from your mother.
Y/N coming back to the bunker and slamming her things down
Castiel looking at Y/N: "Something wrong?"
Y/N nodding: "Yeah my two co workers are actually morons, one is just clueless and the other one makes dumb jokes and inappropriate comments. They give me a headache."
Dean and Sam walking in, Dean talking: "And I looked at the clown's shoes and said "I bet you're shoe in for the circus" Get it Sammy? Shoe in ... The big feet!
Sam looking at Dean confused while Dean laughs
Castiel looking at Y/N: "I see your point, and apologize"
Y/n : Two truths and a lie, I’ll start!
Y/n : I’ve killed a man, I will kill again, and it burns when I pee.
Castiel, visibly nervous: I don’t- I don’t like this game.
Your Heart May Not Go On
You, coming out of your room looking annoyed as all hell. Dean: Hey, you good there, Sweetheart? You: No Sam: What's wrong? You: Need to talk to Balthazar Dean: Why? You: Reasons You clasp your hands together, praying to the Angel who appears at a moment's notice. Balthazar: Hello Darling, I- He was cut off by your hand, bitch slapping him. Balthazar: What was that for?! You: You let the Titanic sink again! Balthazar: I know lots of people died but more people would have if I didn't, I had t- You just watched the movie, didn't you? You: And I wish I didn't. My plan from now on is to hate you, just to let you know Balthazar: Fair enough

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Male Gays
You, walking out in a fancy new dress, hair and makeup done to perfection, trying to impress Sam. Dean, looking you up and down with a grin: Wow, you look hot, what're you all dolled up for? Cas, mimicking Dean but clearly more respectful: You look beautiful Y/n. Balthazar, rolling his eyes at Dean: You look wonderful darling. Crowley, pausing his argument with Rowena: Y/n, you look lovely, what's the occasion? Sam, completely oblivious with his nose in a book, not looking up for a second: Hey Y/n. You, sighing and looking down: Great, I was dressing for the male's gaze and I got the male gays.
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Supernatural incorrect quote #1 -
Dean: Priest kink is definitely a thing and I am afflicted by it.
Sam: Go to church.
Sam: WAIT—
