Vi Tumbles

That is such an inspirational quote for such a dumbass thing to do

The use of difficulty ratings (easy/medium/hard) rather than levels of firmness (soft/firm/hard) to describe egg yolk viscosity implies the existence of higher difficulties such as "eggs over-legendary" and perhaps even "eggs over-nightmare"

“who is linkin park?” - one shot KO by my younger coworker

it's like every step that I take is another mistake to you

bestie…. it’s taking me one step closer to the edge and I’m about to break

cast iron? yeah thats a pretty common spell to learn

skillet issue

if cis people are so great then why don’t they have a siberian orchestra 

testing out my new set of lockpicks in the petco spider aisle

i would’ve fucked so hard as a court jester in ye olde i would’ve jangled my balls and done a little dance and sang my silly tunes i’d be so good at my job. alas i have to be on tumblr instead which is like a poor imitation of it

bells. i meant bells

don’t do this to me

fuckk that’s creepy as hell. makes me feel sick n disgusting. i love it i need more of it right fucking nowww