We're alone and we hate it.

  Happy Birthday.

  You mean the people who think I hate them no matter what I try to do to prove otherwise?

You said so yourself. There's the whole self loathing thing going on. But yeah those people, and there's your girlfriend, plus me. 

  But if I shut off, I’d just be adding to the problem, right? I would be blamed for not being strong enough to just… be there, unflinchingly, as I tried over and over to show people how much I cared about them, only to be pushed away again and again. So then I’d be the villain. But if I shut off…. I wouldn’t care if I was the hero or if I was the villain anymore. It’s tempting.

It's tempting. But would you risk losing people you love for it?