mental yillness

also bonus

-not allowed on furniture. remain standing or kneel on the floor, no sitting

-not allowed to make eye contact 

-being silenced immediately every time they try to speak 

-casual manhandling, being dragged alone because they’re not trusted to move by themselves 

-casual, nonconsensual touch. randomly pulling them closer, absently playing with hair, manually adjusting their posture

-giving orders without explanation 

-giving orders they know are arbitrary, just to exercise power

-talking about them like they aren’t even in the room 

-authorizing other people to monitor and control them

-being kept in restraints 24/7, with movement restricted even further in their downtime 

-degrading their natural behaviors and reflexes. stare is creepy, smile is ugly, flinching is disrespectful, etc…

-putting down their hobbies/interests

His public crashout over J's first girlfriend I started actively watching him around the beginning of 2023 so there might be moments/hints that I have yet to learn about. But of course since I started watching him he had some very VERY sus moments

One of the strongest Str hints about him being bi/gay/not straight is probably the "I was kissing boys" moment (tho it happened on accident), where he's quite tired and I think sleep deprived, his brain lags and he kinda indirectly slips up about his DA days saying his handle growing up was kissing boys... Cause at the time of making that account he was kissing boys. If you don't know about his gay DA account he had as a teen you can interpret this just as one of his usual gay ramblings but. he realizes what he said, gets flustered and very poorly tries to play it off, which just makes it even more sus. His little "Acting!..." is so painfully unconvincing, my poor sweet baby boy

There are few other moments that are really important and mean a lot to me, like Str posting bi pride flags in post-stream chat (after one of the great streams with J from 2023!) most probably during pride flag spam that happen at the end of streams sometimes :) og posts here and here so glad it was saved...

This one I think about a lot. He didn't have to post anything, or could have posted a regular heart or copy a trans pride flag message (since it was most probably flag spam and it's often all trans flag with some gay ones maybe, way less with bi or ace). But this was deliberate, he either typed bi flags here himself or copied this chat message with bi flags specifically. This is very important to me

And another one that I think about a lot is that one early 2023 stream where J raided Str, and Str acted all tsundere about it, compared himself to a devout catholic and J to God (...) talked about furries, dog toys and wearing muzzles while being on all fours ❤️. But in between all of that while talking about furries he says "Everyone is definitely a little gay, it's just where your line is" and he states that as just a fact. You could argue that (to quote one of his boyfriends (V1n)) he just says things, but I think you can clearly see he says it as just a true fact of life that he brings up to make a comparison. So, since he says everyone's definitely a little gay, he implies he is a little gay too :)

the raid happens around 2:54:00, and the "Everyone's a little gay" moment is at 3:15:30 Arson, our goat that I miss a lot made a strma yt video from that stream, you should check it out it's really good! It has J being all cute about Str and raiding him too :3 I love that stream and this video so much... again they are very important to me

The comments under that one are really on the nose lmao

in that spirit he also posted this image on discord lmao, og post here!

Oh, ALSO. another VERY sus one Here have this clip where he ""jokes"" about how he's in the closet and just. silently lets that sentence hang in the air for almost half a minute and then he just. moves on. REALLY sus one even if it's a ~j o k e. He decided to say that at like the last second, says it a little awkwardly and it's in a way I can only see as a cry for help. I feel so bad baby please come out....

And here, the one where he says "sometimes I seep through the cracks" and it's about HIM ACTING LIKE A FAG. I think about that one a lot too because what else did he mean by that. He wants to act really gay and it's something he's apparently masking