Throughout the show, Ben has always put everyone else first in an attempt to keep his family together. When season 1 aired, I mentioned in this post that he has become the caretaker of the group - the glue that holds them all together. Season 4 showed that beautifully in all those moments when he gently encouraged the others to talk and work through their problems.
But that all comes at a cost. While focusing on everyone else's issues, Ben has kept his own feelings and fears bottled up. This finally changes with Episode 4x07. His trauma, unhealthy selflessness and everyone's disregard of both are finally getting the spotlight, and it starts with Kenji refusing to let him walk through the burning forest with his injury. The others are clearly surprised by Kenji's vehemence, and Ben immediately stops protesting, allowing them to get Bumpy and Smoothie to safety - though not without telling them to stay safe too. He is still thinking about them first and himself second.
Next, there's the group hug. They are all hugging Ben and Ben - he's smiling because this is what he's wanted all along - his family united.
Later, Ben and Kenji start having the heart to heart I have been waiting for since season 1. Ben is so exhausted and in so much pain that he finally stops pretending. He calls himself a burden - because that's what he sees himself as: not someone who is constantly uplifting his friends but someone who's holding them back.
Kenji seemingly sacrificing himself for Ben is exactly what Ben's so terribly afraid of. He does not want any of his friends to die for him - or because of him - and he probably thinks his life is worth less than any of the others'. I have no doubt that he's going to have nightmares about this moment for the rest of his life. Just listen to how he hyperventilates when he tells Darius and Brooklynn what happened, or when he blocks the door and tells them he won't leave Kenji. Ben knows what it's like to be thought dead and left behind and he's not going to do that to his friend.
And then finally we get the conclusion of the interrupted heart to heart from earlier:
Ben has just saved Kenji's life by waiting for him and yet the first thing he says to Kenji is, "I'm sorry." He blames himself for not being able to help. He thinks he's constantly letting his friends down. "It's never enough."
This is a man who has been fighting windmills for far too long, and Kenji, bless him, at last acknowledges that the way they have treated Ben in the past wasn't right. He admits that they shouldn't have given him a hard time, that they haven't always been able to take care of him. And then he says the words that I think Ben has needed to hear for a very long time: "We need you."
Ben sounds so relieved when he hears that he is not a burden - that he is wanted and needed and loved. And it breaks my heart a little because all this time, he has carried these self-worth issues with him but never brought them up because his family was falling apart and he thought no one would care. And here Kenji is, telling him that he does. That they all do. That finally, they will be putting Ben first.
The moment when Ben is leaning his head on Kenji's shoulder is probably the first time in a long time that Ben has felt truly loved by his family. And as someone who has been a fan of Ben and Kenji's relationship from the very beginning, I couldn't be happier that it is Kenji - who took Ben's fall from the Monorail the hardest in Camp Cretaceous - who's there for him now. It's a full circle moment and I'm glad season 4 allowed these two to be so vulnerable with each other and validate Ben's feelings.
