Big Boss as our main character; an eccentric, beleaguered ex-army single dad; unaware of his unparalleled charm
Solid Snake as the ‘favored’ son with a parroting problem and unchallenged snark; underaged smoker
Liquid Snake as his angry, complaining twin who feels underappreciated by the world; failed biology
Solidus Snake as the four-armed younger brother who’s never noticed, even when trying to start a revolution
EVA as the amicable ex who loves watching the kids and still goes out on dates with John when he needs a break
Ocelot as the old enamoured war buddy who sometimes breaks into the house and still thinks he has a chance at getting together with John
Kaz as the other ex who comes by to cook dinner once a week, also an old war buddy; hated by Ocelot
Otacon as Dave’s ambiguously romantic weeaboo best friend
Meryl as the girl Snake tries to take to middle school dances
Johnny as the guy who Meryl takes to high school dances
Huey as another single dad because screw his suicide John needs someone sane in his life
Grey Fox as Dave’s sparring buddy and other best friend
Sniper Wolf as one of the punk kids Liquid hangs out with; short-lived love interest for Hal
Vulcan Raven, and Decoy Octopus as other punk kids who Liquid hangs out with
Psycho Mantis as that one lid who everone thinks is lying about having magic powers; actually psychic; once paid by Ocelot to try and influence John to notice him
Raiden as the nerdy kid who becomes super cool in high school; has serious PTSD problems
Rose as his naggy girlfriend who he wishes would give him a break; will NEVER stop texting
Vamp as that one kid everyone knows is in organized crime but no one dares to ask; loves Twilight; not allowed sleepovers
Fortune as the angsty teenager who starts fights as an outlet and needs multiple councilors
Colonel Campbell as the principal of the school and another old war buddy; completely out of touch and/or done with everything
The Philosophers/Patriots as the government conspiracy who show up in serious arcs to try and kill/recruit John
Zero as the former war buddy-turned main antagonist; quotes James Bond too much
Para-Medic as a quirky subantagonist, all of her experience comes from movies
Sigint as that cool black guy you wished appeared more; only sane Patriot
The plot twist as John’s sons being clones
The Boss as John’s mother figure/first crush/a ghost who shows up occasionally/star of flashback episodes
The Sorrow as her paranormal-sensitive husband who abhors violence and worries about her even as a ghost
The Fear as the prankster ghost who loved The Boss but had an ambiguous relationship with The Fury
The Fury as the resident pyromaniac who’s super done with The Fear’s shit
The End as the wise old man who’s done with everyone’s shit (except his parrots’)
The show is normally humorous but absolutely heartbreaking and thrilling when serious, three-dimensional characters and rich, varied plotline which balances random one-offs and timeskips with a consistant storyline, 10/10 Kojima wins Best Director
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