lifeilluminatdā:
It wasnāt as though they wore every emotion outwardly, a few of the ones that would have caused those around them to worry were carefully tucked away because time had taught what the limits were to what they could handle alone. Past those limits, yes, it was time to seek out people they trusted for help but up to that point they carried on with optimism. Too few people reached it easily and they didnāt judge, every life had pain to it and sometimes it was a heavy burden, which was all the more reason to try to cultivate some good there for those they cared about.Ā
āOf course not, Iāve never thought you lacking in it.ā Alder smiled, at times it took looking deeper to find, yes, and overlooking some of the anger that burned bright in the dragon, but it would have been unfair to claim Vihaan was without such things. After all, the way he cared for his sister was more than proof enough there was a warmer heart buried deep, somewhere in a spot that pain had tangled up in wisps that made it difficult to reach. Vihaan had occasionally been short with in his anger even with them but never truly unkind. āYou just have better reservations over these things than some of us, I make a fool of myself all the time for the sheer pleasure in it. Though I do have to admit frustration has been my vice of choice lately.ā Humor at their own expense, yes, because less was certainly not an ideal they followed. Little right or wrong in either way though, was there? Only two different ways of handling what life demanded and what it gave.Ā
āItās difficult to appreciate a feeling if itās all you know, a double-edged sword I suppose.ā They had to agree to a point, that the shallow well created from knowing only hardship or happiness made for a life that fell drastically short of what it should have been. āSwords are weapons, some people are determined to fight wars they donāt need to, or have forgotten how to stop fighting because they were never given the choice to until they were and by then itās second nature.ā The tragedy in life was that the troubles it brought could often fell all consuming, that was where the lines had to be drawn. āThe scales donāt always tip kindly, or at all. But, eventually you have to tip them for yourself if thatās the case."Ā
There was a sideways glance towards Vihaan, wondering what was nipping at him and what thoughts had him so lost that day, but the dragon never gave simple answers and Alder never was able to say as little as they would with other people because conversations were so involved. "Whatever is on your mind today I know you canāt let it go but you will let me know how I can help, if I can?ā
Most people didnāt take the time to study him long enough to catch all the tiny little hints that were buried in his behavior. That was the gift that was his anger, his weapon that managed to keep most away from want, away from the curiosity that was often sparked by those who were more inviting with themselves.
He could still name all his great loves on a single hand, remember just the way their mouths moved when they said his name - and they were special. They had been let in, let in deep enough to leave a wound - which every single one of them had, but he was probably better for the lesson. Granted, Vihaan didnāt see it that way. Instead, for each person that missed the chance that was his sentiment, there was another wall. By now, heād become the best kept secret in this entire town.
It didnāt matter now though, there was a coldness that had seeped in, intending to drown him peacefully in it. The irony was probably in the fire that burned within, but not bright enough, not strong enough to thaw what had already frozen over. It was too late, in every foreboding sense of the phrase. After the last one, he was far past salvation and redemption.
āSome would say there is strength in the way you arenāt afraid of making a fool of yourself, of the way you find joy in things that often hurt first. They wouldnāt be wrong, either.ā He pointed out with an observant tone, appreciating the way that Alder was still very willing to throw themself into the fire, to burn at the chance for love, be it romantic, platonic, or otherwise. Maybe not love, perhaps that was the wrong word. It was more like experience, but either way it was an admirable quality, one the dragon had long since lost.
āThe scales will always favor my sister and I, but we all know thatās because weāre more than willing to destroy the ones that donāt.ā Itās a fact, and he speaks it like such. Heās grown out of the old, dead habit of trying to make himself sound like less of a monster. Itās tiresome, and it doesnāt serve him. Maybe itās the acceptance heās gifted here, or maybe itās just plain lack of reason to care anymore.
āI donāt even think I can help, there are some things, some words you can never come back from. Which, I know may sound foreign to you, but itās a reality that I hadnāt expected. Thank you, though, as if I needed another favor to be added to my debt with you.ā Humor, again, touched the conversation on his end with a bit of a laugh, one that didnāt sound half as bitter as he felt.











