C'est La Vie.

Can we fully and honestly forgive, communicate and just be happy again?

Who let me get this hurt and fucked up 😂 We’ve come a long way and i’ll be okay but always gonna reflect this picture of me fucked up at Slander to self remind i’ve honestly been through worse and a little set back is always gonna happen till then i’ll continue to take life with the bitter and sweet. Oh, and I miss my boy Niklaus & our last photo together 🥺

Just a little close to home.

It’s been a crazy year. From leaving a long term relationship, loving myself & dating again 🫣. Dating in this generation is no joke. The lack of communication and commitment is a damn joke. Tryna get off these damn streets but maybe soon lol. I hate feeling vulnerable and setting my pride aside. One thing I truly learned was to let go & let god. It’s very tiresome to keep fighting and to constant overthink if this man is going to leave you or ghost you or he hasn’t answer in 5 hours. SO.MUCH.SHIT. I am excited for what the year has in store for the both of us & excited for this new journey in my life. Oh and I have a new puppy his name is Theodore aka Teddy and I love his bad ass.

Said goodbye to my first home away from home with loml. It was a relief yet heart ache. So much memories were shared in this 800 square footage place.. the good & bad. This journey has taught me so much and more i’ll always be grateful for this experience. Surely it didn’t end the way we both wanted it too but i know it was what was best for the both of us. This chapter was one that i didn’t want to let go of yet it was killing me slowly. I know he didn’t mean to cause me this much pain and heartache but his actions are much louder than his words he keeps feeding. I don’t think i’ll ever find a love like this again but maybe thirds times a charm right? We just have to do what’s best for ourselves and rediscover what that is. I miss and love you so much that I don’t know how to sleep at night nor what to wake up for.

I remember barely getting back into the gym I would give up within the first three minutes of an hour cardio I promised myself. So slowly I made small, SMART goals and I can proudly say I can do a mile within 7 minutes and 30 seconds. I never thought I would be able to say that nor do it with my physical appearance. I was introduced to dead lifting by Christy and I was thinking in my head the entire time she was breaking it down for me what to do I was like “ nahhhh, I’ll never be able to lift this stupid 45lb bar nor do it. “ and 2 months later I am dead lifting at 190lb (more than what I weigh!!!). It might not be much but its a huge step for me to going to the gym 5 times a week at least and I am loving this new me already!! Stay tuned with me on my fitness journey and see the end results .. 

I am yours now forever.