Viktor

just me and my self-indulged suffering against the world

i am in love with my desperation. because who am i without the constant yearning for the impossible? i see sweethearts walking on the street. i belong in that being too. i scream and rage an ode to him. “why make ME miserable? if I am not meant to feel warmth, take my need to be with fire - to be held by arms i am escaping from and being chased by.” i plead and sob as i am waiting for answers - but no one came. Is this what supposed to make me human? Eternal suffering to be.

and all i wanna say is - all i wanna do is - i just need someone to kiss - to give a good old fashioned kiss - but do not come near me- i don’t want you to touch me - steal me away with your gaze - only just your gaze - no need to get physical - but this is far too mechanical - give me a kiss - i don’t even love you - but i need a kiss - one could heal me or make me worse - maybe i could fall in love or fall behind - could i love - is this how love is - just a pull - but i have no intention to be with you - or to spend time with you - a kiss is supposed to fix me - to change me - am i a cure to fix?