give me that lifesteal propaganda

PILI: Hey, guys, so you know that my birthday is, um... Wait, let me check the calendar.

REK: (laughs) Wait, you don't— Wait, hold on, I might have your birthday on my calendar. Wait, maybe I don't. (PILI: Oh—) Wait, do I?

PILI: I kinda wanna see, I kinda wanna see. I wanna see.

REK: Oh! Yeah, it's on the 18th.

PILI: (gasps) You do! (Rek chuckles.) (WOOGIE: Wait, your birthday's in six days?") Woogie, do you have my birthday on your calendar?

WOOGIE: Huh?

PILI: Do you have my birthday on your calendar, Woogie?

WOOGIE: Well, yeah, it's— Yeah, it's August 18th. (Rek snickers.)

PILI: Rek. Do you believe this guy?

REK: (laughing) I don't know.

WOOGIE: I didn't even know if it was August, (PILI: I dunno, Woogie.) I was taking a gamble.

PILI: You're letting me down. You're letting me down, Woogie.

WOOGIE: Pili, it never came up in con— in conversation! When's my birthday? Don't look at Snapchat.

REK: (snickers) You could hear him like, "fine."

PILI: (typing on his phone) Woogie birthday...

WOOGIE: Nooo, nooo. (Pili laughs.)

PILI: (whispering) Ugh, damn it.

WOOGIE: Yeah, I'm not that popular. (PILI: Um...) I'm not on Famous Birthdays.

PILI: Ughhh...

REK: You're not?

WOOGIE: Nah. But Rekrap is, though.

REK: I am.

PILI: I don't know—... (typing) Rekrap... birthday...

WOOGIE: September 9th.

PILI: Oh. Okay, so, (WOOGIE: Was I right?) you know what, Woogie? I forgive you, that's okay.

WOOGIE: When's my birthday, Pili?

PILI: No, I forgive you, Woogie, don't— you don't have to worry. Like, don't worry. Don't worry. Just forget about all this thing. I don't care that my birthday is not on your calendar. We should just move on, okay? We just— We just—

WOOGIE: When's my birthday, Pili?

PILI: (whispering) Rek.

WOOGIE: So you don't know. Just say you don't know, Pili.

PILI: No, I do! I just, (REK, laughing: Oh, really? When is it?) y'know, I don't feel like this really—

WOOGIE: What's the season? What's the season, Pili? (Rek laughs.) Time of the year?

[Pili whispers "HELP" to Rek three times.]

PILI: Ummm, when... the sun comes out, and the moon also comes out...

REK: Oh, I think that's true.

WOOGIE: I don't know, (PILI: Y'know...?) I heard that's true for every month.

REK: Ohhh, wait, (WOOGIE: I heard that's a regular thing.) now you might be on to something, Woogie.

[Pili whispers "A HINT" to Rek.]

PILI: Mmm...

WOOGIE: When's my birthday, Pili?

PILI: It's just— I feel like, in friendships, knowing each other's birthday is not really that important. (Woogie laughs.)

[Rek whispers "april 26" to Pili.]

REK: No? (Pili laughs.)

WOOGIE: I mean, Pili, I have, like, a birthday gift for you and everything, and you don't even know when my birthday is?

PILI: Um...

WOOGIE: I have a birthday present for you: go back to your base.

REK: Just take a wild guess.

PILI: Hey, is— Um... Okay, wild guess: is it— is it April 26th?

WOOGIE: (gasps) It is! Pili, you remembered! (REK: Oh my gosh, you remembered...) Oh my god, aww...

PILI: Of course I remember, of course! I would be a really bad friend if I (laughs) did not...

[Woogie whispers "snitch" to Rek.]

WOOGIE: He's remembering, man. It's so great that you remembered.

[Pili whispers "THANK YOUUUUUU" to Rek.]

PILI: (laughing) Mhm! I just have all my friends in my calendar!