Vent: I have been raised in what some on the outside would call the picture perfect family. Nice house, Nice cars, Nice clothes, Close family. I have had people say “ I love you family, wish my family was like that” or “your so lucky”. Its said because we give this look off like we are perfect, but its not. There is struggle behind everyone, and I’m left to deal with it and put on this happy face like nothing is going on, My dad, a hard worker “ the breadwinner”, lets money get to his head, its his drug, along with coke and pills, a rich drug addict, that cheats on my mother with a younger woman. She has two young daughters, that he buys gifts for, as his daughter waits hours for him to come and see her, after she has drove 3 hours to see him. My mother, oh my mother, I love her, beautiful woman, who works hard to keep the family together, but also drinks every night and is trying to be strong but is breaking. My brother, well I don’t hear much from him, and then me, me, a girl with anxiety and depression. A girl that has panic attacks, some days feels good to go out and have fun and other nights wanting to lay in bed all day and night with no motivation to live. a girl that has to now escape her life in other ways to feel happy again. a girl that has been abused by a man, that has fucked around with a lot of guys to feel loved in some way, that foolishly fell for a man, that had no intentions of loving her like he said he did, gives her a dog, a life, and a ring, and then runs away to be with another woman, pushing her down until a spiral, Leaving her with memories that haunt her every day, to give her love and take it all away. To come back, love her again and run back into that womans arms, calling her saying if she doesnt lie for him, he will kill himself, hurting her to bring her down to his low life level, he calls himself a good person, but a good person doesn’t go around tossing peoples emotions around for his own personal gain. On the outside, we seem perfect right, but deep down there is struggle, just like everybody else, So I’m not lucky, I dont have a perfect family, I hurt and struggle just like everyone else, by no means is my life perfect, but thats how us Deichmans are, hiding away the pain to show the world we are okay, but slowly all of us are killing ourselves in someway . lets just say 2016 has not been my year.
ellievsbear
pixelskylines
vaporwave
tangentwithtanner
2087
