Vesterport

found a horribly devastating Janka fic in my notes where they both get kidnapped by an abuser from Jabber’s past.

tags: rape, mutilation, torture, hurt/comfort, rescue

1

Beneath the suffocating darkness, a horrified voice calls out. It startles Zanka abruptly out of his nightmare, but the waking world offers no semblance of comfort. Everything is wrong.

“Zanka?” Jabber groans, his voice a pale whisper. His words slur, a half reality. “That really you? What are you doing here?”

Zanka stares at him, his lungs frozen with fear, lapsing into a dazed horror. Jabber’s hands have been cut off, wrapped with blood-soaked bandages at the ends of his arms. He’s naked, his body covered with dirt and grime and blood.

Where are they? Is this real? Is this a nightmare?

Zanka tries to reach for him, but he’s strangled backwards by the chain around his throat.

“Wake up!”

A man’s voice bursts out, loud and terrifying in Zanka’s eardrums. A flash of darkness fills his peripheral, and he sees a man pour a bucket of ice cold water on Jabber. Zanka flinches backwards as Jabber startles and coughs, then his eyes widen as he sees Zanka. His face twists into fear, as he opens his mouth to say something, but no words come out.

“This your boyfriend?” The man yells at Jabber. He stomps towards Zanka and presses a gun to his head. “Take your clothes off.”

Zanka’s hands are shaking, cold, his throat tight. He feels like he can’t breathe. “Wh… where am I…?”

The trigger clicks. “Take your fucking clothes off!” He roars.

Zanka’s heart surges with panic as he stares down the barrel of the gun, so disoriented and confused that the entire world feels like it’s tilting. He reaches up for his shirt, but his hands won’t cooperate. Trembling so bad, grasping at air. Like he’s forgotten what to do. How to move.

The man yells out in rage, then grabs a fistful of Zanka’s hair and slams his skull against the cold brick wall, hard. The world snaps into darkness, tainted with the coppery taste of blood pooling down his throat.

2

The stench hits Enjin first. Thick and cloying, he gags as he covers his mouth with his hand, eyes watering, stomach roiling in sickness.

Enjins blood runs cold as his eyes take in the horrifying sight. “Oh, fuck.”

“Zanka!” Riyo shoves past him, running to the ground, feeling his pulse. “He’s alive. Help me get these off!”

Adrenaline mixes with a brutal wave of nausea and disgust as he rushes to her side, grabbing a blood-soaked saw from the ground and slicing through Zanka’s chains.

He’s… they’re both… naked, chained to the wall, covered in blood, and the whole basement is a goddamn biohazard. Covered in shit and piss and vomit, caked up on the walls, on the floor, on their skin. Flies swarm fat and slow in the air, cockroaches, maggots. He’s going to vomit.

“Is that Jabber?” Rudo asks, frozen.

Zanka’s free. Enjin curls him into his arms, rising, as his eyes lock onto the figure on the other side of the basement.

“They cut his hands off,” Rudo says, unable to move.

His wounds are infected. Enjin sees maggots crawling in and out of the skin. His heart races.

“We can’t leave him here,” he says, hating how shaky his voice comes out, gripping Zanka tight. “Raider or not, no one deserves this. Come on. Let’s get them back.”

3

Enjin’s hands shake, knuckles white hot as he grips the wheel. He’s still in shock, he thinks. He keeps looking back, to make sure Zanka’s still there.

They didn’t bring towels. Didn’t bring anything. Only had time to race like hell when they finally picked up a sound from Zanka’s choker.

This is so much worse than anything he could have expected. Riyo’s shivering in the backseat, clutching onto Zanka like a lifeline, holding his pale body in her arms, his blood smeared against her cheek.

“Is he still alive?” Enjin keeps asking, over and over again. The road is all a terrifying, darkening blur.

“Riyo, his pulse still okay? He still alive?”

4

Jabber sits on the bed of the infirmary, his face coated in darkness.

“Th’s my fault,” Jabber mumbles, his eyes exhausted and sad. “My fault they took Zanka.” He grimaces, trying to wipe his tears with his hands, but falling frustratingly on his forearms. “Where is he? Can I see him?”

“He’s still recovering,” Enjin says. “What happened in there?”

Jabber glances at him, his voice falling low and dead. “Used to sell myself after my mama died,” he murmurs darkly. “Had a lot of clients. That fucker was the worst one.” He shudders, grimacing. “I guess he had enough money, and he wanted me back, so he bought me from Zodyl.”

Rudo flinches. “Zodyl sold you?”

Listlessly, Jabber nods. His eyes look dead. “Thought I grew out of that,” he says. “Bein’ sold.”

He looks down at the ends of his arms. His expression turns angry and sad as his voice shakes. “When he was ripping off my clothes, he found a bunch of drawings I made of Zanka in my shirt pockets. Sketches I kept with me. My favorite moments from our fights. He got jealous. Started kicking my ass, asking if that was my boyfriend.” His voice starts to tremble as he struggles to speak. “Said he’d find him and bring him down there so I could watch him suffer.”

Enjin’s going to be sick. “What’d they do to him?”

His eyes twitch, his jaw set in anger. “They’d come down, a bunch of ‘em with guns, come down and gang rape him and make me watch.”

Enjin feels the blood leave his face as his body goes freezing cold. It’s like he’s forgotten to breathe for a moment.

His heart twists as he thinks of Zanka. Thinks of his light, easy smile. The joy in his eyes. Is he ever going to see that again?

5

Zanka’s still out of his mind, curled in the bed on his side, shaking, eyes half glazed into nothingness. He grips the sheets with trembling hands, his mouth half open, slack jawed and unseeing.

“Jabber?” He keeps muttering, barely audible.

“We need to let them see eachother,” Riyo says, trying not to cry.

“Jabber still can’t walk,” Enjin tells her. “I don’t want to risk moving Zanka.” He turns to Eishia. “Do you think Jabber is well enough to be put in a wheelchair?”

Quietly, she nods.

They wheel him out. Jabber sees Zanka and his eyes go wide as he hitches in a breath.

“Jabber,” Zanka croaks. Jabber falls to his knees with a wince as he clutches onto Zanka. They hug eachother tightly, Zanka burying his head in the crook of Jabbers neck. His body shakes with silent sobs.

Enjin watches, tears trickling at the corner of his eyes, his heart sick and heavy with guilt. He should have protected him. Riyo clutches his arm as her body trembles. His muscles are all tightened, his fists shaking in a horrible grip.

This world is so fucking sick.

Always has been. Always will be. His stomach tightens in agony. No matter how hard he tries to shield them… it’s never enough. He wraps his arm around Riyo and clutches her close to him.

(Part 1)

Zanka’s eyes widen in mortification as the blood drains from his face. He stares up at the ceiling of the cave, his breath shuddering. “The fuck did you do to me?” He breathes out.

He looks down at his tangled legs. “Oh my god, its not going away,” he cries out, desperate. Hot tears pool in his eyes. “Jabber, how long is this fucking poison gonna last?”

Jabber curls his lip down, his voice dipping all sweet and sad. “You don’t wanna stay here and play with me?”

Zanka’s stomach flips. “Stop it.”

Jabber kisses beneath his ear as Zanka cries out a moan again. “Stop what?” He asks playfully, singing lightly.

“Jabber,” he pleads. “I can’t… do it again…”

His voice dips down to a pained, desperate whine. “It hurts…”

Jabber shudders in glorious agony, Zanka’s plea enough to tip him over the edge. He moans low and deep against the ground, hips twitching, his muscles clenching up with a seized burst of hot, white light.

Ohhhhh, fuck.

He knows exactly what Zanka means. His erection isn’t going away. He clenches down on his jaw, pleasure searing into a zapping, hot-red pain, a deliriously intense agony that has his entire body cringing inwards.

“Holy shit,” he grits out, giggling, grinding down. “FUCK!”

He leans his head down, muffling himself, before biting down on Zanka’s shoulder.

“Jabber!” Zanka yells out, arching his back. “Stooo… ougghhhhh, fuck…. staugh….. aughhhhhhhhh… mhmmmm… oh no… no, no, no…”

He heaves in and out, gasping for air, tears streaming down his cheeks. “I’m gonna come again… fuck… keep biting me… harder… harder!”

Jabber sinks his teeth down, gnawing with the back of his mouth, as Zanka nearly screams. Jabber feels a sick burst of wetness against his thigh as his body roars with that hot, intense, painful wave of pleasure.

“Jabber. Jabber.” Zanka’s voice wails up into a desperate, pleading moan. “I need you to get offa me… right now…”

“Can’t,” Jabber groans. He shuffles his body, so goddamn heavy, barely dragging himself across Zanka’s frame, before slumping back down onto Zanka’s chest. “Can’t fuckin move,” he giggles.

Jabber’s thigh falls heavy between Zanka’s legs as Zanka lets out a breathless squeal. “No,” he groans, trying to move his legs. It has the opposite effect. Every time he squirms, he presses their bodies closer together. “No, no…”

“What’s the matter? Don’t tell me a little poison’s gotcha… all hot and bothered…”

His voice dips down to his ear. “Ahhh fuck… nah, it’s got me too…” His voice sinks into a low growl, hot and dark. “Goddamn, that’s good…”

“Quit moanin’ in my ear, you goddamn rat,” Zanka spits.

Jabber turns to him, smiling. He puts his lips against Zanka’s ear and breathes out, singing: “You likeee itttt…”

Jabber’s rewarded with a high-pitched, fluttering moan from Zanka’s lips. Zanka’s face turns red with shame as Jabber giggles. “…Like when I talk in your ear, do ya?”

“Stop fucking talking,” Zanka whispers desperately, his voice shaking. Jabber can feel him twitching beneath his pants, hardening. He bites down on his lower lip.

“You are so… sensitive,” Jabber says slowly, as Zanka lets out another helpless gasp. He licks his lips, then presses them up against Zanka’s ear, savoring that hot wetness, savoring the way Zanka gasps at the contact. “So, so sensitive…”

“Jabber…” His voice is beyond desperate now, on the verge of tears, longing mixed with agony. “Don’t…”

“Don’t what?”

“…Don’t stop,” he rasps.

“Mmmmmmm,” Jabber groans, incensed. His heart roars with a ferocious, manic glee. Zanka’s head falls to the side as Jabber growls into his ear. “You like when I beat you, huh? You a masochist, just like me?”

“Jabber,” Zanka breathes weakly, panting, his chest rising and falling.

“Love when I fuck you up… love when I beat you… love when I poison you, don’t you?”

“…Yes,” Zanka chokes out.

A hot wave of arousal sears through him, leaving him blinded. “Ohhhhhhhh, fuck...”

Fingers grasp on weakly to the back of Jabber’s neck, drawing him in. Jabber slumps downward, too horny to speak, and makes out with Zanka’s ear as Zanka gasps and groans. He can barely move his body, but the sharp jut of Zanka’s hip bone pressed up against his erection has him delirious with pleasure.

Zanka keeps squirming, twitching, his hips flinching upwards every time Jabber lets out a hot, wet breath into his ear canal.

“That’s it,” he rasps. “Keep squirmin’, Zanka… fuck… almost there…”

He bites down on the meat of Zanka’s ear, and Zanka cries out in earnest, legs twitching, before coming with a strangled moan.

“You are so beautiful,” Jabber rasps, as Zanka pants beneath him, face flushed scarlet red. “So… fucking… beautiful…”

“Zanka?” Eishia asks through his choker. “Can I come in and heal you now?”

Zanka pulls away from Jabber’s lips, still panting, still smiling. “Yeah,” he says lightly. “Yeah, I’m ready.”

He gives Jabber one last kiss on the cheek before pulling away, rising to his feet, just as Eishia comes back in. She’s smiling, looking between the two of them.

“Zanka, go ahead and lie down on the bed next to Jabber’s.”

It’s wierdly intimate—Zanka lays down, staring into Jabber’s eyes, as Eishia plugs in her cord and puts her hand over his chest. He feels that healing energy flow through him. Washing away all the pain he caused himself.

“I’ll need you to stay still for a little while, okay?”

“Okay,” he says softly.

When she leaves, Jabber comes up to the edge of Zanka’s bed and rests his head in his arms, kneeling on the ground, just watching him.

A weight settles over both of them—Zanka can feel the change in the air. Can see it in Jabber’s eyes. An acceptance of everything they’ve done to eachother. Everything they’ve meant to eachother.

—

That was a rough fucking mission.

Riyo, Rudo, Follo, and Tomme are knocked out in the backseat, no matter how recklessly Enjin drives.

Those trash beasts were brutal. One after the other, over and over, more vicious than any of them had expected. His uniform is caked up with dried mud and blood as his eyes sink down with exhaustion.

He’s gonna take a nice, long bath after this. Set the water as hot as it’ll go. Maybe even have a hot chocolate. Preferably spiked.

But only after he checks on Zanka. Makes sure he’s okay.

“Enjin,” Semiu calls out. “What’s your ETA?”

Alarm bells ring off. She sounds sharper than usual.

“We’re just about to come in through the backway.” Rudo stirs in the backseat, suddenly awoken by the urgent tone in Enjin’s voice. “Why? What’s going on?”

“We got a problem,” Semiu says. “Front entrance.”

Enjin’s stomach tightens as the others slowly start to lift up their heads, open their eyes. “What is it?”

Her voice is sharp, almost angry.

Cry Wolf, Chapter 15 (AO3 Link)

Jabber stares at him for a while, furrowing his brow. He looks down at his hands. Mankira glints in the moonlight. “Had her since I was ten,” he says. There’s something heavy in his words; Zanka listens carefully. Jabber lays back against the bed and raises his hands in the air, spreading his rings out.

“Got her from the last dude who ever trafficked me,” he says. He flexes his hands out as Mankira shines in the shifting light. “Last time I ever let someone weak fuck me up.”

It’s like a punch to the gut. Zanka sucks in a shaking breath, filled with a horrible, horrible sadness.

“Always wanted someone to beat me so bad I saw stars again. But I wanted it to be someone strong. Not some pedophile loser. Someone real strong.” He turns his head to the side. “You’re the real deal, Zanka. I like how it feels when you win.”

Cry Wolf, Chapter 13 (AO3 Link)

In the morning, Zanka wakes up curled into Jabber’s arms. His head rests on his chest, breathing in that intoxicating, cinnamon-clove-tobacco scent that makes his head rush with longing. He smells so nice after a fresh shower. He brings his nose in against Jabber’s neck. He’s never been so close to anyone. It’s so fucking good.

Knock knock.

“Zanka?” Enjin’s voice rings out. “Ready for breakfast?”

Oh, fuck.

Semiu shuts the door, and Jabber turns to Zanka, smiling.

“Sooo… educational workshop, huh?”

Zanka’s face is still flushed red, and that deep warmth in Jabber’s voice isn’t helping. Jabber reaches out to grab a strand of Zanka’s hair, behind his neck, and twirls it in his finger. He leans in a little closer, as his voice dips down to a murmur.

“They gonna teach you how to beat the shit outta me better than you already do?”

Zanka shivers, turning towards him, entranced.

“Hey Zankaaaa,” Jabber breathes out. “Can I tell you something? Before I started freakin’ out… when you were wailing on me…”

Jabber’s breath grows heavy, warm. A dangerous smile glows on his face. “When you were sittin’ on me… crushin’ my chest… squeezin’ the breath outta my lungs… I wanted those two to run out the door.” His eyes glint with joy as he tilts his head down. “Wanted you to fuck me into the ground.”

Zanka’s face flushes deep, deep red as his body grows hot.

“Let’s learn how to do it right, Zan-Zan. Real healthy. Good hurt. No freak outs this time.” Jabber leans in towards Zanka’s ear, as his voice gets low, heavy. That warm, familiar growl that sends chills down Zankas spine. “Cause I want you to do it right to me. No interruptions.”

Zanka just stares at him, his mouth hanging open, panting ever so slightly. Jabber grins, biting down on his lower lip. “Lost your words, Princess Peach?”

Slowly, gingerly, Zanka smiles. “Nah,” he says shakily. He inches forward, till his mouth is an inch away from Jabber’s lips. “I was just thinkin about…”

He rubs a hand up the front of Jabber’s shirt, palm pressed heavy against his chest. “…how much I wanna fuck you into the ground, too.”

Jabber lets out a gleeful shudder, cheeks flushing. A giggle escapes past his throat as he bites down on his lower lip even harder.

Zanka loves that look. He always has.

“…Princess Peach,” Zanka laughs. “I like that.” He leans forward and bites down on Jabber’s lower lip as Jabber squeals. “What’s that make you?”

“…Bowser? No, wait… I wanna be Yoshi…”

“I don’t like this mental image…”

“What!? C’moooon, I bet Yoshi’s a fuckin’ freak—”

“Ew, Jabber, he’s a frog—”

“A frog!? A FROG!? Zanka, what the fuck? He’s a dinosaur—”

Zanka crashes his lips into Jabber’s, making out with him furiously. Jabber pants when he lets go, cheeks flushed.

“You can’t just… make out with me when you’re… losing an argument—”

Semiu’s voice crackles through Zanka’s choker. “Hey Zanka. Where are you?”

He pulls back, tapping at his choker, heart suddenly racing. “In the infirmary with Jabber. What’s going on? Is everyone okay?”

“Don’t worry, everyone’s fine,” she tells him quickly. “I just wanted to check up on you and see how you’re doing. I got some things to discuss with Jabber, too, since he’ll be joining. Mind if I come by and talk to both of you?”

A little warmth spreads inside him. “Yeah,” he says softly. “Thanks, Semiu. Yeah, come over.”

Jabber looks at him. “Semiu?”

“She’s the receptionist. The one with the glasses. She said she wants to come by and talk to us.”

Jabber’s eyes widen in understanding. “She’s the one who let me through when I brought you in,” he says. “What’s her power?”

Suddenly, there’s a knock at the door. Zanka looks in surprise to see Semiu approaching them. That was quick.

“Hey, y’all,” she says with a wave, pulling up a chair. “How are you two holdin’ up?”

“Better,” Jabber says with a quiet smile. Zanka nods in affirmation.

“Good. I’m glad to hear it.”

Jabber stares at her. “So you’re Semiu, right?”

“Mhm.”

“Thanks for vouching for me,” he mutters. He peers at her curiously. “What’s your vital instrument do, anyway?”

“Lets me see what people are made of. Lets me see their power, and their past.”

Jabber gets a sad, distant look on his face.“So I guess you know then, huh.”

Her voice dips low, a bit quiet, a bit sad. “Yeah,” she says softly. “I know.”

There’s a strange silence for a moment, where the two of them stare at each other, something unspoken hanging in the air. “Jabber, since you’re joining, I wanna be able to call you through your choker.” She looks over him, analytically. “Where exactly is your choker?”

Jabber’s face pales. “I threw it out on the drive here. Didn’t want anyone to… reach out to me again. After what I did.”

Semiu nods in understanding. “We gotta get you a new one, then.”

She looks between the two of them and sighs. “Look, I don’t really know how else to say it, so I’m just gonna say it. Enjin thought it might be a good idea if I come and talk to you guys. Said something about, ‘this is out of my pay grade.’”

Something in Zanka’s stomach twists. “About what?”

She leans back, crossing her arms over her chest. “He said y’all got a bit of a… sadomasochism thing going on…?”

Zanka’s face flushes with a hot rush of embarassment. “Why did he tell you?”

Semiu holds out her hands. “Hey, I know, I know. I told him he shoulda asked you first, but he went, ‘nooooo, zanka will never agree to that, but please help me, I’m worried about him.’” She sighs. “I just came here, not to embarrass you, I promise. But to offer resources.”

She pushes up her glasses. “Enjin knows, that I am part of a very large, very welcoming, BDSM community, and there are a lot of resources at your disposal. Educational workshops, for one. They teach you all sorts of things, but most importantly, they teach you how to stay safe with eachother. Physically and emotionally. Zanka, you’re eighteen now, right? I could take y’all to a workshop if you’re interested.”

Jabber furrows his brow. “They don’t got traffickers, right?”

A serious look falls over her face. “Absolutely not. They got strict rules about consent.”

Zanka’s face flushes warm. “It’s not gonna be like… people having sex, right?”

She chuckles. “Not at an educational workshop, no. Just people in normal clothes, sitting around a table, getting a lesson on best practices. Usually some snacks. There’s one coming up this Friday if you wanna go. I’m going with a girlfriend of mine. Just let me know and I can give yall a ride.”

Jabber looks to Zanka and nods. Zanka turns back to Semiu. “…Yeah,” he says shakily. He grabs a hold of Jabber’s hand, gently. “Yeah, I think it could be good.”

“Sounds good,” she tells him. “I’ll fill yall in on all the details.”

Before she leaves, Jabber calls out to her. “Hey, Semiu?” She turns around. “How do you deal with holdin’ everyone’s secrets?”

She shrugs. “Part of the job.”

In progress sketch of part 35 of Cry Wolf!

After a long while, Jabber pulls slowly away.

“Done a lot of thinking,” he says quietly. His eyes flit down to the bed. “Never sat still with myself before.”

He thinks for a long time, before finally looking back up at Zanka. “You ever thought about what the ocean is like?”

Zanka nods. “Course. It’s the only thing I think I’d like about the sphere.”

Jabbers eyes sink into sadness. “Yeah. Zodyl always wanted to see the ocean.”

Zanka flinches inside at that name, but he holds his breath, listening carefully. Jabber turns his hands over and stares down at his open palms, at the light that paints his skin and his rings. He chooses his words very carefully.

“Feels like I’ve been in the ocean all my life. Thrashin’ around… gulping salt water… feet never touching the bottom. All dark under me. Too dark to see. But always knowing what was there.” He smiles hazily, looking back up at Zanka. “Feels like I finally landed in the sand,” he whispers.

Zanka reaches forward, brushes a gentle finger against the edge of his hairline. Jabber closes his eyes, breath shuddering, leaning into it. Zanka’s hand rests to cradle his cheek in his palm. Jabber opens his eyes, all filled up with a bittersweet sadness, as Zanka brushes his thumb slowly over Jabber’s cheek. Jabber’s hand glides up to rest over Zanka’s.

Jabber’s eyes relax into something like acceptance. “It’s hard to come to terms with,” he says quietly. “But it feels good to stop runnin’.”

Zanka stares into his eyes, swallowed up in that heartbroken softness. “I understand.”

Mankira’s metal rubs smoothly over the backs of his fingers. Those rings are like the lights over Jabber, shifting and shifting, their meaning changing in so many different ways.

Power. Strength. Control.

Agency. Choice. Survival.

“I’m right here with you,” Zanka says quietly.

Jabber gives him a light smile. “I’ve been thinkin’ about what you said. How you didn’t wanna hurt me. Didn’t make sense when you first said it. But now I think I’m gettin’ it.” He rubs his thumb over Zankas hand. “Good hurt and bad hurt.”

Zanka inches closer. “Right,” he says shakily. He thinks back on the redness that blossomed on Jabber’s cheek after he slapped him. The way his breath shuddered in pleasure, the way his eyes snapped open in longing. “Good hurt.”

His heart pounds as he holds Jabber’s face a little tighter. Sees the light glow in Jabber’s eyes. “That kinda hurt feels special.”

For a moment, Zanka’s overwhelmed with a strange flood of colors. As his eyes adjust, he realizes what he hadn’t seen before. There’s a stained glass circle of a bird over the window, and it paints Jabber in rainbow hues of every color imaginable.

He’d never noticed it on the window. But the way Jabber is sitting upright, the bed he’s in, and the way the sun sits in the sky—everything mixes together, and makes it so the rainbow lights hit him perfectly.

It’s like he’s leaning into it. Eyes closed, deep breaths, doused in color. Glowing purple across his locs, bright reds and ocean blues glinting off the gold of his hair jewelry. His hands rest softly over his knees, where emerald green and sparkling magenta reflect off Mankira. He’s at peace. A peace that Zanka has never, ever seen on him.

Zanka stares at him, enchanted, searing the moment permanently into his memory.

Slowly, gently, Jabber opens his eyes and blinks into the light. He smiles softly, those beautiful eyes flitting straight to Zanka’s soul.

“Hi, Zanka.”

Zanka doesn’t even feel his feet moving. Just knows he’s flooded with this overwhelming feeling of being drawn to him. He moves without thinking, until he’s sitting on the bed, until he has Jabber wrapped softly in his arms.