A VERY && TOTALLY NORMAL HUMAN !!

@ verynrmlhuman -— An indie ALIEN LIFEFORM oc.

🕷️ HUGE spider and insect trigger warning. PLEASE read my TRIGGERS page before engaging with the blog at all.

🕷️ 18+ to interact, I prefer 21+ to write with.

🕷️ Written by ARACHNO 30+ they/them

{ INFO } { RULES } { TAGS } { PROMPTS }

❝ Ok, FIRSTLY, anything can be a swindle. It doesn't have to involve a fucking bank robbery. You can throw someone into a swindle over a twig and a piece of pocket lint. Or baseball. And sometimes? Even reality TV like Love Island or whatever. ❞ As if that made ANY sense.

The alien tossed his eyes upward and over in a roll, his head following over in a melodramatic neck roll. When he straightened, he was splaying his arms out in a gesture of apparent defeat.

❝ Fine, dude. What is this 'biohaza'd' matter that's got you all twisted the fuck up and what am I 'sposed to do about it?? ❞

SPACE TRAVEL-—

Alternatively: how they SpiderDudes get from one planet to another.

SpiderDudes as a species whole are STACKED with information and technology. This is a species who only exists to study other species. Their home planet is this giant melting pot amalgamation of all these other planets and species and their intel on just about everything.

That being said, there are still 'roles' and 'specialties' even among the SpiderDudes. And lemme tell you... Arakell is NOT an astronaut or anything to do with space. He is a bio-engineer and MAYBE you could stretch and say he's more of a medic than most others of his species. How he got to Earth was that a different group of SpiderDudes who ARE space-traveling specific spider-ant aliens loaded him up in a little pod and shot his ass down here.

If he wants to go anywhere else or go back home, he essentially either has to figure it out himself or use human technology OR somehow get into contact with the home planet... also using human technology.

❝-— Hey, PAL, I need you to take some big ole' steps back from off me. I don't know you and I don't think I like your vibes. So get to scooting. ❞

Mind you, this was a worm Arakell was speaking to. Mind you, he knew what a worm was and knew the extent of their intelligence. And yet, and yet...

The parasite made a brief and limp-wristed shooing motion with a hand, nose scrunched. Typically, he was all for... well, anything. He loved to study and learn and discover. But he typically preferred to do the approaching. That and he'd found that this planet also had a whole plethora of entities that operated like his kind-— certain worms being part of said entities.

Only not at all because they did it in stupid-dumb idiot ways and it was sort of like having the loser kid come up and ask to play games on your phone. As in: ew, no. Get away. This is MY phone and also you suck, dude.

The Perks of Being a Parasite -—

So! I've established that once a Spiderdude takes a host, they essentially BECOME that host down to their nervous systems, etc. And I've established as well that Arakell's kind are fixers and builders.

With this in mind, it is super hard to knock a host body down for the count unless you absolutely destroy it or otherwise kill the occupying parasite. So fire or destroying the head where Arakell actually resides will do it. Otherwise, you've got freaky piloted human body that's been rewired and recoded to essentially piece itself back together in overdrive.

A Spiderdude can detach from its host and exist independently but it is 1.) considered taboo and a 'failure' to do so and 2.) can risk death if done by a too young or too old or otherwise frail member of the species as it is strenuous considering the merged nervous systems, etc.

And it's like. Nope. They are a fully peaceful species that do all of this for the love of the game lmao. They literally just do it to flex their own capabilities and to gather knowledge and then they relay it back home and like the whole planet is just fucking like ..........

Taking Hosts and Morality, etc. -—

Obviously, SpiderDudes are an alien species and so morality is different and not exactly comparable to human morality.

But! I think if pressed to try and explain it in human terms, Arakell would label what they do as 'mercy killings'. Their hosts are at death's door when they are taken as hosts. This is part of the whole shtick of taking a host in the SpiderDude's culture. The closer to death, the more 'difficult' to mend, the more impressive a host and thus the more impressive a SpiderDude you are.

If a host is taken that might have recovered without intervention, that is seen as a failing and that SpiderDude is seen as a weaker member of the society. It is tacky to take a host that might not have died, it is absolutely taboo and asking for ostracization to take a perfectly healthy host.

Arakell's host, Kevin Mathers, was going to die if not for his intervention, this is a fact. And one could argue the morality of saving a physical form just to let the spirit die, but just because you help a rabbit out of a trap, doesn't mean it's your responsibility to make sure the fox doesn't eat it. Etc, etc.

Arakell has no guilt over the all but physical death of his host. As far as he's concerned, it's just the balance of life. He is no different than a scavenger come to poke at a corpse and he feels no shame over serving his own species' functions.

The alien's brow furrowed-— and they were his now, make no mistake. Finders, keepers and all that jazz. They furrowed his his mouth pursed into a thin line; he looked overall quite disconcerted.

After a beat he gave a sort of laugh one might when they were unsure whether or not there was a joke being told that they were missing out on. When Will did not join in the laughing, Arakell went back to frowning.

❝ Well that's ridiculous and impossible, actually. Spoons aren't biological OR sentient in any way. They have no emotional range. Duh. ❞

Clearly the point had soared right over the parasite's head and he snorted again. ❝ This is really basic stuff you guys should know about yourselves. ❞

Guys, Arakell will fall for clickbait and ragebait and AI-— at least at first. He's not super used to information being intentionally false. Incorrect, sure, but he's not used to people lying about things for attention or fun. There's also still an element of human culture being relatively newish to him.

So he will trust things at first glance if they don't raise any red flags in terms of what he already knows. This hyper-intelligent alien may or may not recite completely incorrect information as though it's factual because he has no reason to really fact check unless something doesn't seem right to him.

❝ Y'know mashed potatoes remind me a lot of when the-— ❞ He paused and seemed to try and experimentally mouth something. There were a few obvious tries and fails at figuring out the pronunciation of something and then he was just waving dismissively.

❝ This mouth can't really say what they're called, but anyway. It reminds me of this species that will liquify and suck out its prey's insides. Pretty common, right? Loads of species do that shit. But get this-—! They mix it with this other internal liquid of theirs and then regurgitate everything. The concoction sort of coagulates into this sort of dense, but fluffy pile of muck that they share communally. Isn't that cool? ❞

Excitable and clearly eager to share the factoid despite the otherwise inappropriate time of it being shared while the other party had been eating themselves.