What the F is this interview???
Noel: There’s a good boy. When he put his first album out, and all the Oasis back catalog went back in the fucking charts. I was thinking why hadn’t I think of this before? I’m sat at home watching the fucking football, I don’t even have to do anything anymore. It’s fucking genius. I can’t believe I never thought of it before. But you know, good luck to him.
Interviewer: Before I read the first bio, when I thought things might have been cooled down, this line, "The younger brother now tolerated simply as a potential organ donor for his more talented sibling."
Noel: I mean, you’ve got to think of the future.
HUMO: My favorite on your new album is the beautiful 'Dead in the Water,' but that's just an unfinished, hidden bonus track.
Noel: […] I worked so hard on all the other songs, while 'Dead in the Water' is a fluke. I composed it in twenty minutes, and then another hour or so on the lyrics. I wrote it when my wife was away for a night, visiting Scotland. She should do more; it makes for good songs. I'd even forgotten that I'd carelessly recorded it after a radio session in Dublin. I started playing it in that studio, between two takes of 'Dying of the Light.' I was so lost in thought that I didn't even know they were still recording. But it's got the magic, so we didn't tinker with it any further. As far as I know, this is the first time a song has ended up on an album that's only been played once. I think I'll play it live.
HUMO: I quote from your new bio: 'Liam now only has a right to exist as a potential organ donor for his more talented older brother.' Did your mother read that?
Noel: No, she doesn't give a fuck. She's more than fed up with our bickering, but she's come to terms with it. And it's true: if I ever find myself in need of some bone marrow or a kidney after an accident, then, and only then, will I call Liam.
HUMO: The bio says about you: 'The little menace from Little Venice, as Noel is known on Grindr.' Grindr, as in the dating app for gay men?
Noel: That's a joke, of course. I was so fed up with those bios that I hired a friend (Russell Brand) who writes comedy sketches to come up with some nonsense.[…]
HUMO Next one then: 'Trust your body.'
Noel: He's going a bit too far, isn't he? It could refer to your gut feeling. Earlier this year I was very ill. I lost dozens of kilos; at first they thought it was cancer. It turned out to be salmonella, an infection I got after eating eggs.
HUMO: I didn't know Liam could make an omelet.
Noel: He can, just about.[…]
— 13/11/2017 Humo (Translated from Dutch)
(original interview here ; full interview here )
If Noel’s life depended on a new kidney and you were the only donor match, would you give him one of yours?
Without a doubt. Of course I would. He’s my brother, man, and I love him. I’d give you one as well, mate. Do I think he’d give me one of his? Yeah. He’s all bravado.
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