spoke just like a baroness

There’s one spread that I’ll do sometimes about people who aren’t in my life anymore that’s like “what kind of person were they? what was our relationship like? where do I go from here?/what do I take from this?” and it’s just three cards but it’s wild how accurate it is

like, my ex-best friend was an awful person to me and in general, and tarot’s helped me try to get past that

and just as a disclaimer: there are times when I was the bad friend or did bad things to someone that caused a friendship to end but never, ever anywhere near her level. and I’m not a bad person at my core. I can recognize and admit where I fucked up. she tries really hard to somehow finds way to make herself the victim, which never really works cause it’s like... she tried to make the guy I was dating leave me for her.... and she still tried to blame it on me? somehow? 

and I’m just really burnt by that friendship and would find so much peace if she fell off the face of the Earth but that’s prob not likely 

and it makes me feel crazy when I explain to someone with no real connection to her what she did to me and they still like/engage with her stuff on social media, it’ll never make sense to me  

and ANYWAY

I’ve always loved the song Desperado and have posted the lyrics here before:

Don't you draw the Queen of Diamonds, boy She'll beat you if she's able You know the Queen of Hearts is always your best bet Now, it seems to me, some fine things Have been laid upon your table But you only want the ones that you can't get

and I find so much comfort in that song and how I know, at my core, I’m not driven by greed or attaining riches/status at anyone’s expense above all else. that’s not the driving force in my life.

I’m motivated by love and wanting to share things in my life and help/be there for my friends and like, while I do love dating rich guys and getting Gucci bags, I’m not gonna fuck everyone over to do that yknow!! 

And I’ve wanted to get a little queen of hearts tattoo (like just the symbol on the card) for the longest time but haven’t decided where. 

And anyway