trying to get my life together or die in a gas explosion whichever don't care

being alive is like: you want to go home. you don't know where home is. you want to go home. you don't know where home is. you want to go home. you haven't known for a long time. you want to go home but you don't know where you'd go. you want to go home you want to go home you want to go home

putting stickers on my brain like 😀🙂😄😃😁 to hide all the holes and rot and bruises

anyone else finding the torment relentless

does anyone else have a deep underlying sadness that never truly goes away and probably never will or is that just me haha

“are you okay” no bro i constantly feel like i am too much but simultaneously not enough

one of the most important things i’ve learned in therapy is that when you’ve experienced prolonged trauma in your childhood, pleasure feels uncomfortable. like, not that you don’t feel it, but that when you do feel it there’s an impulse to make it stop, because it’s extremely unfamiliar. and pleasure can mean many things, as simple as feeling cozy, and as complex as feeling loved. the neural pathways for feeling good have not had a chance to develop, and the neural pathways for feeling bad are quite practiced. feeling good, too, takes conscious practice.

casual reminder that i am 24/7 accepting intrusive questions about me and my trauma

do my dark circles and deteriorating health make me look hot

"my child is fine" your child wanted to kill herself at 11 years old