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I come back on here every other year when my depression has spiked again. Well... hi again, friends

Hi,

I want to die

bloodandfairytales

“I came to understand intellectually that my mind used dissociation as a way to protect me from knowing things. Dr. Summer repeatedly explained, “If you had woken up every morning and knew that later that day or evening you would be abused, you would have killed yourself”. I would always nod, as if in agreement. It all made sense in a theoretical way, but I could not and did not want to truly understand or accept what had happened to me.”

— Olga Trujillo, The Sum of My Parts: A Survivor’s Story of Dissociative Identity Disorder

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That is all I want in life: for this pain to seem purposeful. Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation

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Where did everything go wrong again

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Fluorescents // Casey

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Suicidal

I don’t think people understand how much shit you have to go through to want to actually end your life.

People don’t understand the pain you have to be in to want to die.

People don’t understand what happens in their heads, that the only option for them is to stop breathing.

People don’t get how much we cry in our sheets at night holding our mouths just that we wouldn’t make a sound.

People don’t understand the urge of screaming for help when there is no one who would hear us.

People don’t understand.

I want to die.

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