verilly

…

“Why would you take a hit for me!?”

You replied slowly, blood still spilling out from your lower chest, “Sorry… I forgot you don’t need my help.”

“Are you stupid?” Angel’s eyes narrowed as he looked down at you. The devil’s corpse was starting to disintegrate nearby, “If you can’t get up, or think straight… how are we even supposed to finish this mission?”

“I think I fell on my walkie-talkie, but I can try to see if it works.” You winced as you moved your body around, reaching under yourself to grab what was left of your communication device. Alas, it was broken. “It’s no good.” You gently let yourself down as you looked up to him, pleading, “Could you lift me up?”

“No, I can’t touch you.”

“Then can you go get help?”

“No, I’m a devil. Surely someone would try to kill me.”

“Not if you have a good enough explanation! You have your ID on you, don’t you?” You coughed out, you started to feel short of breath.

“…I never need it, so I left it at home today.” Angel confessed, his eyes couldn’t meet yours. He turned his head away with a conflicted expression on his face, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I guess. It’s not like I’m going to die here,” you joked, but it didn’t feel like a joke, it felt more like a lie.

Angel’s hands ball into fists before he huffed, picking up the spear laying next to his feet. Reaching it out towards you he mumbled, “Do you think you could hold on to this for a second? Once you’re up I’ll… I guess I’ll let you lean on me until we find someone else to help you.”

Your eyes widen, he’s actually taking initiative! You reach your hand, grabbing the base of the spear and shut your eyes tight as he pulls you up. You could feel the wound burn in your chest, it hurt like hell. Wobbling onto your legs, your vision started to get blurry. The aching, the blood, it all combined into quite the gruesome scene.

For support, your hand reached out to Angel’s shoulder as your other clutched your chest. Murmuring a quiet “please” as you finally made contact with him. Angel couldn’t help but flinch, instinctively stepping back before biting his lip and letting you lean on him. An ivory wing came up, shielding the other side of your body from anything else that could come your way. You didn’t realize it then, but if you did you definitely would’ve said thank you.

The walk was tedious, strangers passing by looked at the two of you with distasteful stares. Meanwhile Angel kept cocking his head away from yours so as to not touch you. His hand was on your waist as yours was on his farther shoulder, your head leaned up on the one closer to you. With each step your breathing hitched. You should’ve been smarter, used a shirt to wrap the wound, or anything! Angel’s eyes were on the path ahead, every minute or so his line of sight would switch to you to check if you were still alive and one hundred percent not touching his skin.

“No, Angel, stop. I don’t think I can keep walking.” You croaked out, your bloody hand now covering half of your face.

“Seriously? We’re almost there, I can see the building.” Angel huffs, letting you off of him to sit on a bench.

“Take my ID and run into HQ for me, will you? I’m sure they’ll listen to you.” You pulled out your ID from your pocket slowly, barely lifting your arm away from your body before Angel took it from you. He groaned in response before actually running towards the building. You think it’s the first time you’ve ever seen him run.

…

The hospital room was quiet. When the other agents found you, you were barely conscious. The last thing you remember before passing out with the look on Angel’s face, was it concern?

As usual, no one came to visit you. Officially, you had requested for your family to not be notified about you injuries or hospitalization unless you were dead and you didn’t have many alive friends anymore, so you were used to the loneliness that came with the night at the hospital. Unsurprisingly, the hospital wing dedicated to Public Safety did its job well. You were stitched up perfectly, but it was still too early to see if your body was back to normal. Under the gown was still a sore, bruised, red mess. The door creaked open, you shot your head at the sound. 

In front of you stood an angel.

“Hey.”

“…Hey?” You sat there with a confused look on your face.

“They said I could come see my buddy, so now I’m here.” He wandered in, sitting at the table that sat across from your bed.

You hummed in response, no way he would’ve visited you out of his own free will. “How long are you planning to stay?”

“How long are you planning to be hospitalized?”

That was quick. You stared at him, “Uhm… not for long? Whenever they let me out..?”

“Then I’ll leave whenever that is.”

Is he being serious? “They aren’t going to let you do that.” You sighed, laying back down onto your pillow. “Why are you really staying here?”

“I just don’t want to be in my holding cell for any longer, it’s been days. Get better already.” He commanded, though his voice was still soft.

“They didn’t let you back home?” You said home as if it were natural. It shouldn’t be, he’s a devil and you’re not.

“Of course they didn’t. Are you stupid?”

You sigh, staring into the ceiling, “yeah, probably. I took the hit for you, didn’t I?” it wasn’t exactly meant to be a teasing tone, but it came out like one. Angel stood from his seat and inched closer to you, standing directly to the side of your bed, his eyes were… you couldn’t exactly put a word for them.

“Please don’t do that again.” he murmured out, “I don’t want this to happen again. I want you to be back at home.”

Oh shoot, he really is an angel isn’t he? You sighed again, shaking your head as you let out an awkward laugh, “yeah, I’ll try not to.” is all you could muster out.

He stayed there, staring at you for what felt like hours as you tried not to make eye contact. When’s he going to leave?- “No, promise me you won't.”

“Huh?”

“Promise me you won’t. Promise me you’ll let me fight my own stupid battles.”

“What?” Your lip twitched as you looked at him. His eyes were describable now, they were soft, warm. They were pleading at you. “Okay, fine. I promise.” You turned away from him onto your side, facing the window, “...could you leave me alone now? Leave me to my lonesome and suffering already.” He didn’t move though, instead shoving his hands to his pockets and sitting on the now viable space next to you.

“Can’t. I’m an angel, so it’s my job to make sure you don’t hurt yourself by doing something stupid again.” Was this just an excuse to stay? You didn’t exactly have a record of getting into trouble or anything…

“What are you talking about? It was one mistake.”

“Clearly your brain isn’t functioning correctly, so I have to stay by your side.” He hummed, now picking at the dirt in between his nail and skin.

“Jesus, Angel…” You groaned into your pillow, “Just leave already…”

He didn’t leave. In fact, he stayed there until hospital staff had to notify him that visiting hours were over, then he reluctantly left. While he was still there, however, it was almost complete silence. His halo glowed as the light outside your window dissipated and his wings would stretch every so often, but he didn’t actively try to make conversation. You stared at the ceiling most of the time, occasionally looking over at the clock and reading the spare magazines the hospital so graciously decorated the room with. After your second read of the same article, you decided to nap. When you woke up, Angel had already left.

Now discharged from the hospital, you looked over at your buddy who was in charge of taking care of you (even though you didn’t really need it). You noticed his changes in demeanor: the way he picked up after himself, he actually cleaned a stain you were meaning to get rid of, and the way he looks at you is a lot less judgemental than it normally was. On top of that, he started responding to you with words instead of the usual grunts or silence. Maybe this is worth it.

Life shifted, your wounds healed, and conversations were held during patrol, in your apartment, even very rarely at division parties. It felt special, though it was annoying when Angel would only cling onto you… a little annoying, but it’s not like you had anyone else anyway.

…

You stood in the hallway of one of Public Safety’s main buildings. Angel sat next to you, almost dozing off. He asked you why the two of you were making a detour instead of going straight home like you usually do, and the answer was…

“Oh! Have you been waiting for me?” Makima asked as she creaked open her door, “My apologies. It seems I didn’t hear you knock.”

“Yes! Sorry… Miss Makima, could we talk?” You got up from your spot, walking towards her door, clasping your hands together. Angel who was previously leaning on you slipped, waking from his dazed state.

“Yes, come in.” Makima pulled open her door to let you in, closing it behind her as you entered her office. It was wide, bookshelves lining the walls and floors, it’s not like you hadn’t been inside before, it just all seemed new.

“It’s been a long time since I came in here…” You mumbled, it was small talk, but the air around Makima had always been suffocating.

“Was there something you needed from me or are you here for a little visit?”

“I just… uhm, Miss Makima, I was here to talk to you about Angel’s pay.”

“The Angel Devil’s payment? Did he do something? Must he pay for something– be punished?” Makima tilted her head, looking at you with nothing behind her eyes.

“No, nothing like that! He’s been good, like really good! I just mean…” You fidgeted with your hands, “He doesn’t get paid and he works really hard-”

“Really hard?” She raised her eyebrows, still not breaking eye contact with you.

“Well– no, I mean yes. He… I think that he should get paid for the work and hours he puts in with Public Safety.”

“Why’s that?”

“He works…! I think he deserves to get paid, it only makes sense y’know? He’s basically a human–”

“No, he’s a devil. You need to keep that in mind, you can’t forget something as important as that. You aren’t a rookie anymore–”

“I know that!” You covered your mouth, “Oh. I’m sorry, Miss Makima, I didn’t mean to cut you off or anything but I just…”

“Do you care for this devil?”

What’s the proper response for this?? After a moment of silence, “...no.”

“Then what is this about?” Makima maneuvered around you, sitting at her desk as her chin laid on the palm of her hand.

“I…” You bit your lip, you had to come up with an excuse. “He lives with me, as you know, and it’s just that he… he’s enjoying the pleasures of human life and the luxuries that come with it! And it gets pricey with just one person's salary. Yeah.”

“Is that so? Then wouldn’t you rather the Angel Devil to stop living with you entirely?” She hummed, staring into your eyes, catching your half-lies.

“No, I just… I just want to have an extra source of income, that’s all. I mean, if you think about it, I’m taking care of a devil after work hours for free. He’s using my water, my electricity, and eating my food so…” You move in place as you look down at her. She hasn’t blinked once this entire conversation.

“Mhm.”

“If you could pay him, even half of what the average starting devil hunter makes, it would help a lot and… it’s not like you have to give him a raise, I’ll keep taking care of him and everything!”

“Is that all?”

“...yes.”

“I’ll think about it.” Makima spun in her chair, looking out into the sun’s light fading across the city below her.

It didn’t seem like you got to her at all, you sighed, “Thank you, Miss Makima. I’ll be leaving now.” You shuffled towards her door again, “Have a good night.” Closing the door behind you, you looked up to see Angel standing oddly close to the door. He backed up quickly, a lot faster than he normally moved.

You didn’t comment about it, instead just walking towards whichever stairwell that led to the exit the fastest as Angel tailed you, just as he always did. Angels halo bobbed up and down, the glow illuminating your back as the two of you walked underneath the sunset back to your apartment complex. You heard his voice sputter a few times on the walk home, but it wasn’t exactly intelligible, and you couldn’t bring yourself to ask.

“Do I really eat that much?” Angel asked, picking up the pace to walk next to you instead of behind you.

“Huh? So you were listening.” You hummed, tilting your head to look at him.

“I was just curious.” He was most likely thinking ‘I thought you were going to abandon me’, or something along those lines.

“It was just an excuse, really. I just want you to get paid for your time, that’s all.”

“So you see me as human?”

“What? No– yes…maybe.” You stuttered, stopping in your tracks. Maybe this wasn’t exactly the correct thing to say to a devil, but it was what you felt. You were doing a good thing. You were being honest. “Does it matter? And don’t tell me I shouldn’t think that way because you’re a devil, you all say the same thing! It’s getting annoying.”

“...okay. I won’t.” Angel looked away from you awkwardly, “I’m just saying. Are you sure you should be so close to me?”

“It’s not like you’re going to do anything. You’re harmless.” Approaching the steps of your apartment building, you started shuffling with your pockets to find the keys.

“You’re forgetting that I’m a devil.”

“How could I forget that? It’s literally in your name, ‘the Angel Devil’.” You groaned, a few more steps and you reached your apartment’s door. Unlocking it with practiced ease, “I’m home!” You called out into the empty home, as you always did.

“I’m not harmless.” He huffed, kicking his shoes off in the foyer.

“You are though! You’re an angel, so it evens out and I know you wouldn’t do anything you hurt me–”

His hands were on your neck, he was holding you through your collar of course, but his hands were on your neck. You were taken aback, stumbling into the wall behind you, and now you were stuck between a devil and a wall. Words hardly escaped your lips before Angel’s thumbs pushed deeper into the middle of your neck.

“You really do forget that I’m a devil, don’t you?” his grip loosened just slightly, he wasn’t really trying to hurt you. “You’re stupid. A stupid, lowly human. You’re supposed to fear me– hate me.” He spat, there was no real venom or truth behind his words, but it hurt nonetheless.

No I’m not, I just trust you. Why would I hate you?

“Listen. I’m a devil and I can kill you whenever I want, whenever I please. It’s your job, you’re a devil hunter, I’m a devil… and I hate you.” He hissed quietly, “Stop being so nice to me, stop going out of your way to do things for me, stop protecting me, and stop…”

Fuck, my face is turning red.

“Are you even listening to me?” he pressed harder, “Answer me!” you grunt in response, “What am I even doing?” he lets you go, you hold your chest as you catch your breath, looking at the floor. Angel held his hand in his other, looking at you as you started backing up.

Coughing, you shake your head, “Yeah, what are you doing?” you question, touching your neck with your fingertips.

“...I hate you.” he muttered out before throwing his coat onto the floor and rushing towards his room. Well, it was your room before he moved in. Now you sleep on the couch.

“No you don’t! I know you don’t hate me because if you did you would’ve killed me– actually touched me!” You shout, voice cracking as you do so, “God, Angel!” you slam the still open front door, locking it from the inside.

I hope you don’t report me. I want to stay. I want to stay with you– why did I do that? Why did I say that? Am I actually… no, I am a devil. What am I even doing here? I haven’t wanted to live for a long time. Why did you have to change that for me? I hate you so much, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you… and I hate that I can’t touch you for real. 

Angel was splayed out across the bed, it was a queen sized one, perhaps too big for how small the room was. The same three minutes repeated in his brain, how close his face was with yours, how close he was from actually, really touching you. So close to actually draining the life from you, so close from watching the life leave you. It was scary. What would he do if you died? The most likely answer was to die, the higher ups would never let him live. The less likely answer would be to sit in a cell and rot all day. Making a few weapons every week or so, in which case, he would most definitely prefer to die.

Outside the door, you knocked gently.

Not right now.

You knocked again, harder.

“Go away.” Angel mumbled into the pillow he claimed as his own.

I don’t want to see you. I don’t want to hurt you.

“Are you alright, Angel?” your voice echoed through his mind,

I should be the one asking you that.

He didn’t respond. You doubted we would’ve in the first place. Maybe it was too early, you understood. “I’ll have some food outside the door for you. You can get it whenever you want to. Sorry, Angel.”

Why are you apologizing?

The meal that waited outside his door wasn’t really a meal. Just a collection of snacks, not that you had much food in the house to begin with. He did eventually open the door to eat, but it was in the middle of the night while you were dozing off on the couch. 

You didn’t know it, but he watched you sleep. Very intently, he watched you sleep. The way your face looked extra peaceful, the redness still lingering on your neck, the way your chest rose up and down with each breath and quiet snore. He stayed and sat there watching every small movement you made, each crevice and curve that made your body. He sat there for about an hour. His favorite part of the experience was the color on your face as the light from his halo reflected against it.

I think that I love you, and I hate that.

…

In the middle of the night, Angel woke up. Someone like him falls asleep easily and takes a long time to fully wake up, only listening to his internal alarm clock: his stomach. Checking the clock, he realized he couldn't exactly read the one on the wall, it was too dark out so he deduced it was somewhere around midnight and 4. Wandering into the kitchen, he did his best to make sure his steps were quiet, purposefully avoiding any floorboards that creaked. The automatic light in the kitchen turned on, startling him just a bit. His wings stretched as his hands reached towards the freezer's handle.

Opening it slowly to not draw attention to himself, he quickly grabbed one of the tubs of ice cream he had bought with his own money. In fact, almost the entire freezer is full of ice cream. The majority of them are already open and half empty, thanks to Angel’s newfound enjoyment of choice. You had to teach him the difference between a fridge and a freezer, and that ice cream indeed does melt in the sun and the fridge– which he only understood because the next time he opened the fridge his ice cream had become liquid.

Sitting at the table with his tub and a spoon he started digging in, eating one by one, spoonful by spoonful. As time went past, the automatic lights turned back off, and now he was eating ice cream in the dark as his roommate slept on the couch in the next room over. In fact, there were no walls separating the two of you. Angel stared out into the dark, letting the sweetness melt on his tongue.

“Angel?” your voice echoed through the apartment, it was quiet, but so was everything else that night which made your voice louder than expected. “What am I saying? Of course it’s you.” The lights flickered on again as you stepped into the kitchen. “What are you doing up so late?”

“I got hungry.”

“I see that,” you pulled a chair across from him, “Can I get some?”

He looked at you with his cheek resting on his palm, thinking. He shook his head in response, “Why would I do that?”

“Because I’m your buddy and you like me?” You purr, pouting your lip at him.

“...I don’t like you, I hate you.”

“You’re still on that?” You sigh, laying back into your chair. “We all know that’s not true. You’re a total liar, devils always tell lies. Come on!” You reached out to the spoon that was still in his hands, but still laying inside the tub. He flinched away from you before pulling the tub away from you.

“No, it’s mine. I bought it.”

“Yeah? With whose money?”

“...my money.” he replied, squinting his eyes at you.

“No, it’s my money that I’ve given to you because Public Safety refused to give you a salary.”

“But you gave it to me so it’s mine.” he mumbled, putting another scoop into his mouth.

“Angel, you live in my house, you eat my food, you’re literally wearing my shirt with a hole ripped into the back.”

He groaned and rolled his eyes, “You didn’t need to do any of that stuff… but,” he pushed the tub towards you, “Just take whatever you want.”

You took the spoon and took a bite, it wasn’t really your favorite flavor, in fact, it was quite gross. “Ew, what is this?”

“I don’t know, I don’t remember. It all tastes the same to me.”

“Tell that to all the fall eaten boxes in the freezer… aww, we totally just kissed just now!” You hummed, pushing the tub back to him.

“What?”

“Humans call sharing saliva by using the same straw, eating utensil, gum… just anything that touches another person's mouth and yours an indirect kiss.” Your voice got quiet at the end, it was quite the embarrassing situation to be in. Then, the lights turned off.

A kiss?

It’s not a big deal, but to someone who couldn’t kiss at all, it was. Angel’s face got hot, he was so happy that the lights were gone and that you couldn’t see him at all. Or, most of him. You turned around and walked back to the couch, where the lights did turn back on… but you weren’t facing him, and you didn’t look back, so you couldn’t see how flushed his face was. And it was real red.

Why would you say that? A kiss? With a human? That’s stupid. You’re stupid. An indirect kiss, what a stupid concept.

He slammed the freezer door shut, treading off back to his bedroom, the wings on his back wrapping itself around his body. He should’ve just ignored his stomach and kept sleeping, everything here could’ve been avoidable.

Tossing and turning, sleep didn’t come to him. His halo annoyed him, why wasn’t he able to turn it off. His wings were scrunched up behind him, but he couldn’t bother to move his body to fix it. The shirt he was wearing, your shirt, didn’t feel right on his body. Was it normal for humans to share this much, be this intimate, kiss…? Perhaps he should enlighten himself with human shows, and books, and… but that would be far too much work. He stayed up for what was probably another hour, luckily the two of you didn’t have work the next day or else he would’ve been in trouble. Though, you were usually the one to do most of the paper work and going on patrol was becoming less and less frequent for the two of you.

His guilty pleasure usually calms him— not that he wasn’t calm about the kissing situation, it wasn’t even a real kiss— but watching you sleep tended to end with him breathing less heavily, usually. His steps were as light as a feather, in a different position as his usual one, he stood behind the couch, leaning and looking down at you. You were so tranquil, in his eyes, you were the angel. The low glow from his halo accentuated your features, his eyes flicked to your lips. A kiss with his angel…

You woke up, blinking. Above you stood an angel, your angel. You blinked harder, surely this was just an illusion, but it wasn’t. And he’s still there, staring at you– no, he was backing up now. Has this been a recent thing? Or has he been watching you sleep for a long time now? You didn’t say anything, you didn’t move. In turn, he didn’t move either.

“Is this a regular thing for you?” You broke the silence, smiling uneasily. He was still a little blurry to you, blinking harder while you rub your eyes.

“No.”

“You’re such a liar.” You sat up straight, turning around to take a better look at him, “Not that I can see you too well, but I can see it on your face.” 

“No.”

“You can admit it, you wanna sleep with me. You’re lonely.” You lean on your arm as it rests on the back of the couch.

“No– what?” He stumbled back further, “No, no. Absolutely not.”

“Do you say anything other than no? It’s okay, I have trouble sleeping too, so you can sit next to me… and we can talk.” You patted the spot next to you. He looked reluctant, but he moved around to sit next to you anyway.

“I wasn’t having trouble sleeping, I was just…”

“I understand, I remember you said something about having nightmares, it’s totally okay. I get them sometimes too!” You pulled him close to you, pushing his head towards your chest, a blanket in between the two of you to make sure there's no skin to skin contact, “I haven’t had one in a long time, you must be subconsciously eating my bad dreams or something.”

“That’s not how my power works.” He spoke in your chest, his hand coming up to try and push himself away from you.

“Well? Tell me about your nightmares, it helps a lot when you tell others about your problems.” You didn’t let him go.

“I didn’t have a nightmare.” In reality, his nightmares haven’t been as common as they used to be… he wonders to himself if you’re the reason for that, “I just couldn’t fall asleep tonight.”

“Yeah? Why’s that?”

“I don’t know. Too much sugar before bed, I guess.” He told the partial truth, more like a lie, but he couldn’t tell you that you were the reason he couldn’t go back to sleep, “...and thoughts.”

“It’s hard to believe you actually use your brain to think. All I see you do is zone out!”

“Well when I’m ‘zoning out’ I’m thinking.” He huffed, finally pulling away from you, “I don’t zone out, either. All humans do is tell themselves lies.”

“Mhm… then what do you think about?”

Your lips.

“Nothing in particular. Usually I’m hungry.”

“Are you still hungry now? There’s no take out places open at this hour… I could try making something, but–” you stood up from the couch, squinting towards the dark kitchen.

“No!” He pulled you back down, grabbing you by the sleeve of your shirt. “I mean. No, I’m not hungry right now. Just regular insomnia, so stay here.”

You looked down at him, you could barely see the face he was making, but it was definitely a pleading one, and it was real cute. “You want me to stay that bad? Any reason in particular?” you tease, plopping back down next to him.

“...”

“Ah, whatever.” you yawn, putting a pillow in between yours and Angels bodies before making yourself comfortable. The silence became awkward, you almost fell asleep. “Have you ever thought about being human?”

He flinched, like the words hurt him. He had, of course he had, he was one of the most humanoid devils there were. In fact, this was his devil form outright. The idea of being human… he had let go of it a long time ago. “When I was… how should I put it? Younger?”

“Aw! Baby Angel!”

“No. Just a long time ago, I was never a baby.” He sighed.

“Aw man” you pouted, pushing him lightly. He tensed up before calming down again, “sorry.”

“Why are you so touchy?”

“I get touchy when I’m tired I guess, sorry.”

“You weren’t like this at all before… you weren’t as talkative, you weren’t as touchy, you..”

“I’m just opening up to you. Do you not like it?” You frowned.

“No, it’s all new to me. That’s all.” He rested his head against the side of the couch. “All my previous buddies were nothing like this. They were all distant and… I usually spent all my time in my cell and now I’m here.”

“Feeling grateful?”

“If you were to put it in human words, yes. But devils don’t feel grateful. Only for their lives.”

“Is that so?” You hum, your hands playing with a spare feather that had fallen onto the pillow, “You really aren’t grateful for any of the stuff I’ve done for you?”

“It’s not your fault that I can’t feel it.”

“Then what can you feel?”

“…guilt.” He mumbled, he wasn’t quite sure why he was telling you this. Maybe your words had gotten to him, or maybe he was too tired to control himself. “Whenever I take the life span away from a human, I feel guilt.”

“That isn’t very devil-like.”

“I’m still an angel, so I guess it makes sense.” His wings fluttered again, wrapping themself around his body— like a ball.

“You tired yet?” You ask. He nods in response, you can tell by the way his halo started to bob up and down. You smile gently as you grab another blanket that had fallen onto the floor and rested it onto him. “Good.”

Before you could get up to leave, his voice cracked through the air, “please don’t leave yet. I’m still awake.” He shot up, leaning over the pillow to look at you. The glow of his halo reflected against your eyes as you swallowed hard.

You sat in silence again, but this time you were looking in his eyes, his ruby-like eyes. Sighing, you pulled him onto you again, toppling over the pillow barrier. Now he laid on top of you, your arms holding him tight. Stroking his hair softly, you started to hum out a lullaby. The song was simple, definitely not the best vocals… you were tired and laying on your back of course, but it was nostalgic. Continuing to smooth out the stray strands on Angel’s hair, “you asleep yet?”

“No.”

“Should I keep going?–”

“Hey,” He popped his head up.

“Yeah?”

“I think I like you.”

“Yeah, I think you do too.”

•••|•••|•••|•••|•••|•••

sorry that it wasn't what the ask asked for, the end of part 1 is just too sad and i wasn't exactly in the mood to make angst... also it's been 3 years.