#verilly

…

“Why would you take a hit for me!?”

You replied slowly, blood still spilling out from your lower chest, “Sorry… I forgot you don’t need my help.”

“Are you stupid?” Angel’s eyes narrowed as he looked down at you. The devil’s corpse was starting to disintegrate nearby, “If you can’t get up, or think straight… how are we even supposed to finish this mission?”

“I think I fell on my walkie-talkie, but I can try to see if it works.” You winced as you moved your body around, reaching under yourself to grab what was left of your communication device. Alas, it was broken. “It’s no good.” You gently let yourself down as you looked up to him, pleading, “Could you lift me up?”

“No, I can’t touch you.”

“Then can you go get help?”

“No, I’m a devil. Surely someone would try to kill me.”

“Not if you have a good enough explanation! You have your ID on you, don’t you?” You coughed out, you started to feel short of breath.

“…I never need it, so I left it at home today.” Angel confessed, his eyes couldn’t meet yours. He turned his head away with a conflicted expression on his face, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I guess. It’s not like I’m going to die here,” you joked, but it didn’t feel like a joke, it felt more like a lie.

Angel’s hands ball into fists before he huffed, picking up the spear laying next to his feet. Reaching it out towards you he mumbled, “Do you think you could hold on to this for a second? Once you’re up I’ll… I guess I’ll let you lean on me until we find someone else to help you.”

Your eyes widen, he’s actually taking initiative! You reach your hand, grabbing the base of the spear and shut your eyes tight as he pulls you up. You could feel the wound burn in your chest, it hurt like hell. Wobbling onto your legs, your vision started to get blurry. The aching, the blood, it all combined into quite the gruesome scene.

For support, your hand reached out to Angel’s shoulder as your other clutched your chest. Murmuring a quiet “please” as you finally made contact with him. Angel couldn’t help but flinch, instinctively stepping back before biting his lip and letting you lean on him. An ivory wing came up, shielding the other side of your body from anything else that could come your way. You didn’t realize it then, but if you did you definitely would’ve said thank you.

The walk was tedious, strangers passing by looked at the two of you with distasteful stares. Meanwhile Angel kept cocking his head away from yours so as to not touch you. His hand was on your waist as yours was on his farther shoulder, your head leaned up on the one closer to you. With each step your breathing hitched. You should’ve been smarter, used a shirt to wrap the wound, or anything! Angel’s eyes were on the path ahead, every minute or so his line of sight would switch to you to check if you were still alive and one hundred percent not touching his skin.

“No, Angel, stop. I don’t think I can keep walking.” You croaked out, your bloody hand now covering half of your face.

“Seriously? We’re almost there, I can see the building.” Angel huffs, letting you off of him to sit on a bench.

“Take my ID and run into HQ for me, will you? I’m sure they’ll listen to you.” You pulled out your ID from your pocket slowly, barely lifting your arm away from your body before Angel took it from you. He groaned in response before actually running towards the building. You think it’s the first time you’ve ever seen him run.

…

The hospital room was quiet. When the other agents found you, you were barely conscious. The last thing you remember before passing out with the look on Angel’s face, was it concern?

As usual, no one came to visit you. Officially, you had requested for your family to not be notified about you injuries or hospitalization unless you were dead and you didn’t have many alive friends anymore, so you were used to the loneliness that came with the night at the hospital. Unsurprisingly, the hospital wing dedicated to Public Safety did its job well. You were stitched up perfectly, but it was still too early to see if your body was back to normal. Under the gown was still a sore, bruised, red mess. The door creaked open, you shot your head at the sound. 

In front of you stood an angel.

“Hey.”

“…Hey?” You sat there with a confused look on your face.

“They said I could come see my buddy, so now I’m here.” He wandered in, sitting at the table that sat across from your bed.

You hummed in response, no way he would’ve visited you out of his own free will. “How long are you planning to stay?”

“How long are you planning to be hospitalized?”

That was quick. You stared at him, “Uhm… not for long? Whenever they let me out..?”

“Then I’ll leave whenever that is.”

Is he being serious? “They aren’t going to let you do that.” You sighed, laying back down onto your pillow. “Why are you really staying here?”

“I just don’t want to be in my holding cell for any longer, it’s been days. Get better already.” He commanded, though his voice was still soft.

“They didn’t let you back home?” You said home as if it were natural. It shouldn’t be, he’s a devil and you’re not.

“Of course they didn’t. Are you stupid?”

You sigh, staring into the ceiling, “yeah, probably. I took the hit for you, didn’t I?” it wasn’t exactly meant to be a teasing tone, but it came out like one. Angel stood from his seat and inched closer to you, standing directly to the side of your bed, his eyes were… you couldn’t exactly put a word for them.

“Please don’t do that again.” he murmured out, “I don’t want this to happen again. I want you to be back at home.”

Oh shoot, he really is an angel isn’t he? You sighed again, shaking your head as you let out an awkward laugh, “yeah, I’ll try not to.” is all you could muster out.

He stayed there, staring at you for what felt like hours as you tried not to make eye contact. When’s he going to leave?- “No, promise me you won't.”

“Huh?”

“Promise me you won’t. Promise me you’ll let me fight my own stupid battles.”

“What?” Your lip twitched as you looked at him. His eyes were describable now, they were soft, warm. They were pleading at you. “Okay, fine. I promise.” You turned away from him onto your side, facing the window, “...could you leave me alone now? Leave me to my lonesome and suffering already.” He didn’t move though, instead shoving his hands to his pockets and sitting on the now viable space next to you.

“Can’t. I’m an angel, so it’s my job to make sure you don’t hurt yourself by doing something stupid again.” Was this just an excuse to stay? You didn’t exactly have a record of getting into trouble or anything…

“What are you talking about? It was one mistake.”

“Clearly your brain isn’t functioning correctly, so I have to stay by your side.” He hummed, now picking at the dirt in between his nail and skin.

“Jesus, Angel…” You groaned into your pillow, “Just leave already…”

He didn’t leave. In fact, he stayed there until hospital staff had to notify him that visiting hours were over, then he reluctantly left. While he was still there, however, it was almost complete silence. His halo glowed as the light outside your window dissipated and his wings would stretch every so often, but he didn’t actively try to make conversation. You stared at the ceiling most of the time, occasionally looking over at the clock and reading the spare magazines the hospital so graciously decorated the room with. After your second read of the same article, you decided to nap. When you woke up, Angel had already left.

Now discharged from the hospital, you looked over at your buddy who was in charge of taking care of you (even though you didn’t really need it). You noticed his changes in demeanor: the way he picked up after himself, he actually cleaned a stain you were meaning to get rid of, and the way he looks at you is a lot less judgemental than it normally was. On top of that, he started responding to you with words instead of the usual grunts or silence. Maybe this is worth it.

Life shifted, your wounds healed, and conversations were held during patrol, in your apartment, even very rarely at division parties. It felt special, though it was annoying when Angel would only cling onto you… a little annoying, but it’s not like you had anyone else anyway.

…

You stood in the hallway of one of Public Safety’s main buildings. Angel sat next to you, almost dozing off. He asked you why the two of you were making a detour instead of going straight home like you usually do, and the answer was…

“Oh! Have you been waiting for me?” Makima asked as she creaked open her door, “My apologies. It seems I didn’t hear you knock.”

“Yes! Sorry… Miss Makima, could we talk?” You got up from your spot, walking towards her door, clasping your hands together. Angel who was previously leaning on you slipped, waking from his dazed state.

“Yes, come in.” Makima pulled open her door to let you in, closing it behind her as you entered her office. It was wide, bookshelves lining the walls and floors, it’s not like you hadn’t been inside before, it just all seemed new.

“It’s been a long time since I came in here…” You mumbled, it was small talk, but the air around Makima had always been suffocating.

“Was there something you needed from me or are you here for a little visit?”

“I just… uhm, Miss Makima, I was here to talk to you about Angel’s pay.”

“The Angel Devil’s payment? Did he do something? Must he pay for something– be punished?” Makima tilted her head, looking at you with nothing behind her eyes.

“No, nothing like that! He’s been good, like really good! I just mean…” You fidgeted with your hands, “He doesn’t get paid and he works really hard-”

“Really hard?” She raised her eyebrows, still not breaking eye contact with you.

“Well– no, I mean yes. He… I think that he should get paid for the work and hours he puts in with Public Safety.”

“Why’s that?”

“He works…! I think he deserves to get paid, it only makes sense y’know? He’s basically a human–”

“No, he’s a devil. You need to keep that in mind, you can’t forget something as important as that. You aren’t a rookie anymore–”

“I know that!” You covered your mouth, “Oh. I’m sorry, Miss Makima, I didn’t mean to cut you off or anything but I just…”

“Do you care for this devil?”

What’s the proper response for this?? After a moment of silence, “...no.”

“Then what is this about?” Makima maneuvered around you, sitting at her desk as her chin laid on the palm of her hand.

“I…” You bit your lip, you had to come up with an excuse. “He lives with me, as you know, and it’s just that he… he’s enjoying the pleasures of human life and the luxuries that come with it! And it gets pricey with just one person's salary. Yeah.”

“Is that so? Then wouldn’t you rather the Angel Devil to stop living with you entirely?” She hummed, staring into your eyes, catching your half-lies.

“No, I just… I just want to have an extra source of income, that’s all. I mean, if you think about it, I’m taking care of a devil after work hours for free. He’s using my water, my electricity, and eating my food so…” You move in place as you look down at her. She hasn’t blinked once this entire conversation.

“Mhm.”

“If you could pay him, even half of what the average starting devil hunter makes, it would help a lot and… it’s not like you have to give him a raise, I’ll keep taking care of him and everything!”

“Is that all?”

“...yes.”

“I’ll think about it.” Makima spun in her chair, looking out into the sun’s light fading across the city below her.

It didn’t seem like you got to her at all, you sighed, “Thank you, Miss Makima. I’ll be leaving now.” You shuffled towards her door again, “Have a good night.” Closing the door behind you, you looked up to see Angel standing oddly close to the door. He backed up quickly, a lot faster than he normally moved.

You didn’t comment about it, instead just walking towards whichever stairwell that led to the exit the fastest as Angel tailed you, just as he always did. Angels halo bobbed up and down, the glow illuminating your back as the two of you walked underneath the sunset back to your apartment complex. You heard his voice sputter a few times on the walk home, but it wasn’t exactly intelligible, and you couldn’t bring yourself to ask.

“Do I really eat that much?” Angel asked, picking up the pace to walk next to you instead of behind you.

“Huh? So you were listening.” You hummed, tilting your head to look at him.

“I was just curious.” He was most likely thinking ‘I thought you were going to abandon me’, or something along those lines.

“It was just an excuse, really. I just want you to get paid for your time, that’s all.”

“So you see me as human?”

“What? No– yes…maybe.” You stuttered, stopping in your tracks. Maybe this wasn’t exactly the correct thing to say to a devil, but it was what you felt. You were doing a good thing. You were being honest. “Does it matter? And don’t tell me I shouldn’t think that way because you’re a devil, you all say the same thing! It’s getting annoying.”

“...okay. I won’t.” Angel looked away from you awkwardly, “I’m just saying. Are you sure you should be so close to me?”

“It’s not like you’re going to do anything. You’re harmless.” Approaching the steps of your apartment building, you started shuffling with your pockets to find the keys.

“You’re forgetting that I’m a devil.”

“How could I forget that? It’s literally in your name, ‘the Angel Devil’.” You groaned, a few more steps and you reached your apartment’s door. Unlocking it with practiced ease, “I’m home!” You called out into the empty home, as you always did.

“I’m not harmless.” He huffed, kicking his shoes off in the foyer.

“You are though! You’re an angel, so it evens out and I know you wouldn’t do anything you hurt me–”

His hands were on your neck, he was holding you through your collar of course, but his hands were on your neck. You were taken aback, stumbling into the wall behind you, and now you were stuck between a devil and a wall. Words hardly escaped your lips before Angel’s thumbs pushed deeper into the middle of your neck.

“You really do forget that I’m a devil, don’t you?” his grip loosened just slightly, he wasn’t really trying to hurt you. “You’re stupid. A stupid, lowly human. You’re supposed to fear me– hate me.” He spat, there was no real venom or truth behind his words, but it hurt nonetheless.

No I’m not, I just trust you. Why would I hate you?

“Listen. I’m a devil and I can kill you whenever I want, whenever I please. It’s your job, you’re a devil hunter, I’m a devil… and I hate you.” He hissed quietly, “Stop being so nice to me, stop going out of your way to do things for me, stop protecting me, and stop…”

Fuck, my face is turning red.

“Are you even listening to me?” he pressed harder, “Answer me!” you grunt in response, “What am I even doing?” he lets you go, you hold your chest as you catch your breath, looking at the floor. Angel held his hand in his other, looking at you as you started backing up.

Coughing, you shake your head, “Yeah, what are you doing?” you question, touching your neck with your fingertips.

“...I hate you.” he muttered out before throwing his coat onto the floor and rushing towards his room. Well, it was your room before he moved in. Now you sleep on the couch.

“No you don’t! I know you don’t hate me because if you did you would’ve killed me– actually touched me!” You shout, voice cracking as you do so, “God, Angel!” you slam the still open front door, locking it from the inside.

I hope you don’t report me. I want to stay. I want to stay with you– why did I do that? Why did I say that? Am I actually… no, I am a devil. What am I even doing here? I haven’t wanted to live for a long time. Why did you have to change that for me? I hate you so much, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you… and I hate that I can’t touch you for real. 

Angel was splayed out across the bed, it was a queen sized one, perhaps too big for how small the room was. The same three minutes repeated in his brain, how close his face was with yours, how close he was from actually, really touching you. So close to actually draining the life from you, so close from watching the life leave you. It was scary. What would he do if you died? The most likely answer was to die, the higher ups would never let him live. The less likely answer would be to sit in a cell and rot all day. Making a few weapons every week or so, in which case, he would most definitely prefer to die.

Outside the door, you knocked gently.

Not right now.

You knocked again, harder.

“Go away.” Angel mumbled into the pillow he claimed as his own.

I don’t want to see you. I don’t want to hurt you.

“Are you alright, Angel?” your voice echoed through his mind,

I should be the one asking you that.

He didn’t respond. You doubted we would’ve in the first place. Maybe it was too early, you understood. “I’ll have some food outside the door for you. You can get it whenever you want to. Sorry, Angel.”

Why are you apologizing?

The meal that waited outside his door wasn’t really a meal. Just a collection of snacks, not that you had much food in the house to begin with. He did eventually open the door to eat, but it was in the middle of the night while you were dozing off on the couch. 

You didn’t know it, but he watched you sleep. Very intently, he watched you sleep. The way your face looked extra peaceful, the redness still lingering on your neck, the way your chest rose up and down with each breath and quiet snore. He stayed and sat there watching every small movement you made, each crevice and curve that made your body. He sat there for about an hour. His favorite part of the experience was the color on your face as the light from his halo reflected against it.

I think that I love you, and I hate that.

…

In the middle of the night, Angel woke up. Someone like him falls asleep easily and takes a long time to fully wake up, only listening to his internal alarm clock: his stomach. Checking the clock, he realized he couldn't exactly read the one on the wall, it was too dark out so he deduced it was somewhere around midnight and 4. Wandering into the kitchen, he did his best to make sure his steps were quiet, purposefully avoiding any floorboards that creaked. The automatic light in the kitchen turned on, startling him just a bit. His wings stretched as his hands reached towards the freezer's handle.

Opening it slowly to not draw attention to himself, he quickly grabbed one of the tubs of ice cream he had bought with his own money. In fact, almost the entire freezer is full of ice cream. The majority of them are already open and half empty, thanks to Angel’s newfound enjoyment of choice. You had to teach him the difference between a fridge and a freezer, and that ice cream indeed does melt in the sun and the fridge– which he only understood because the next time he opened the fridge his ice cream had become liquid.

Sitting at the table with his tub and a spoon he started digging in, eating one by one, spoonful by spoonful. As time went past, the automatic lights turned back off, and now he was eating ice cream in the dark as his roommate slept on the couch in the next room over. In fact, there were no walls separating the two of you. Angel stared out into the dark, letting the sweetness melt on his tongue.

“Angel?” your voice echoed through the apartment, it was quiet, but so was everything else that night which made your voice louder than expected. “What am I saying? Of course it’s you.” The lights flickered on again as you stepped into the kitchen. “What are you doing up so late?”

“I got hungry.”

“I see that,” you pulled a chair across from him, “Can I get some?”

He looked at you with his cheek resting on his palm, thinking. He shook his head in response, “Why would I do that?”

“Because I’m your buddy and you like me?” You purr, pouting your lip at him.

“...I don’t like you, I hate you.”

“You’re still on that?” You sigh, laying back into your chair. “We all know that’s not true. You’re a total liar, devils always tell lies. Come on!” You reached out to the spoon that was still in his hands, but still laying inside the tub. He flinched away from you before pulling the tub away from you.

“No, it’s mine. I bought it.”

“Yeah? With whose money?”

“...my money.” he replied, squinting his eyes at you.

“No, it’s my money that I’ve given to you because Public Safety refused to give you a salary.”

“But you gave it to me so it’s mine.” he mumbled, putting another scoop into his mouth.

“Angel, you live in my house, you eat my food, you’re literally wearing my shirt with a hole ripped into the back.”

He groaned and rolled his eyes, “You didn’t need to do any of that stuff… but,” he pushed the tub towards you, “Just take whatever you want.”

You took the spoon and took a bite, it wasn’t really your favorite flavor, in fact, it was quite gross. “Ew, what is this?”

“I don’t know, I don’t remember. It all tastes the same to me.”

“Tell that to all the fall eaten boxes in the freezer… aww, we totally just kissed just now!” You hummed, pushing the tub back to him.

“What?”

“Humans call sharing saliva by using the same straw, eating utensil, gum… just anything that touches another person's mouth and yours an indirect kiss.” Your voice got quiet at the end, it was quite the embarrassing situation to be in. Then, the lights turned off.

A kiss?

It’s not a big deal, but to someone who couldn’t kiss at all, it was. Angel’s face got hot, he was so happy that the lights were gone and that you couldn’t see him at all. Or, most of him. You turned around and walked back to the couch, where the lights did turn back on… but you weren’t facing him, and you didn’t look back, so you couldn’t see how flushed his face was. And it was real red.

Why would you say that? A kiss? With a human? That’s stupid. You’re stupid. An indirect kiss, what a stupid concept.

He slammed the freezer door shut, treading off back to his bedroom, the wings on his back wrapping itself around his body. He should’ve just ignored his stomach and kept sleeping, everything here could’ve been avoidable.

Tossing and turning, sleep didn’t come to him. His halo annoyed him, why wasn’t he able to turn it off. His wings were scrunched up behind him, but he couldn’t bother to move his body to fix it. The shirt he was wearing, your shirt, didn’t feel right on his body. Was it normal for humans to share this much, be this intimate, kiss…? Perhaps he should enlighten himself with human shows, and books, and… but that would be far too much work. He stayed up for what was probably another hour, luckily the two of you didn’t have work the next day or else he would’ve been in trouble. Though, you were usually the one to do most of the paper work and going on patrol was becoming less and less frequent for the two of you.

His guilty pleasure usually calms him— not that he wasn’t calm about the kissing situation, it wasn’t even a real kiss— but watching you sleep tended to end with him breathing less heavily, usually. His steps were as light as a feather, in a different position as his usual one, he stood behind the couch, leaning and looking down at you. You were so tranquil, in his eyes, you were the angel. The low glow from his halo accentuated your features, his eyes flicked to your lips. A kiss with his angel…

You woke up, blinking. Above you stood an angel, your angel. You blinked harder, surely this was just an illusion, but it wasn’t. And he’s still there, staring at you– no, he was backing up now. Has this been a recent thing? Or has he been watching you sleep for a long time now? You didn’t say anything, you didn’t move. In turn, he didn’t move either.

“Is this a regular thing for you?” You broke the silence, smiling uneasily. He was still a little blurry to you, blinking harder while you rub your eyes.

“No.”

“You’re such a liar.” You sat up straight, turning around to take a better look at him, “Not that I can see you too well, but I can see it on your face.” 

“No.”

“You can admit it, you wanna sleep with me. You’re lonely.” You lean on your arm as it rests on the back of the couch.

“No– what?” He stumbled back further, “No, no. Absolutely not.”

“Do you say anything other than no? It’s okay, I have trouble sleeping too, so you can sit next to me… and we can talk.” You patted the spot next to you. He looked reluctant, but he moved around to sit next to you anyway.

“I wasn’t having trouble sleeping, I was just…”

“I understand, I remember you said something about having nightmares, it’s totally okay. I get them sometimes too!” You pulled him close to you, pushing his head towards your chest, a blanket in between the two of you to make sure there's no skin to skin contact, “I haven’t had one in a long time, you must be subconsciously eating my bad dreams or something.”

“That’s not how my power works.” He spoke in your chest, his hand coming up to try and push himself away from you.

“Well? Tell me about your nightmares, it helps a lot when you tell others about your problems.” You didn’t let him go.

“I didn’t have a nightmare.” In reality, his nightmares haven’t been as common as they used to be… he wonders to himself if you’re the reason for that, “I just couldn’t fall asleep tonight.”

“Yeah? Why’s that?”

“I don’t know. Too much sugar before bed, I guess.” He told the partial truth, more like a lie, but he couldn’t tell you that you were the reason he couldn’t go back to sleep, “...and thoughts.”

“It’s hard to believe you actually use your brain to think. All I see you do is zone out!”

“Well when I’m ‘zoning out’ I’m thinking.” He huffed, finally pulling away from you, “I don’t zone out, either. All humans do is tell themselves lies.”

“Mhm… then what do you think about?”

Your lips.

“Nothing in particular. Usually I’m hungry.”

“Are you still hungry now? There’s no take out places open at this hour… I could try making something, but–” you stood up from the couch, squinting towards the dark kitchen.

“No!” He pulled you back down, grabbing you by the sleeve of your shirt. “I mean. No, I’m not hungry right now. Just regular insomnia, so stay here.”

You looked down at him, you could barely see the face he was making, but it was definitely a pleading one, and it was real cute. “You want me to stay that bad? Any reason in particular?” you tease, plopping back down next to him.

“...”

“Ah, whatever.” you yawn, putting a pillow in between yours and Angels bodies before making yourself comfortable. The silence became awkward, you almost fell asleep. “Have you ever thought about being human?”

He flinched, like the words hurt him. He had, of course he had, he was one of the most humanoid devils there were. In fact, this was his devil form outright. The idea of being human… he had let go of it a long time ago. “When I was… how should I put it? Younger?”

“Aw! Baby Angel!”

“No. Just a long time ago, I was never a baby.” He sighed.

“Aw man” you pouted, pushing him lightly. He tensed up before calming down again, “sorry.”

“Why are you so touchy?”

“I get touchy when I’m tired I guess, sorry.”

“You weren’t like this at all before… you weren’t as talkative, you weren’t as touchy, you..”

“I’m just opening up to you. Do you not like it?” You frowned.

“No, it’s all new to me. That’s all.” He rested his head against the side of the couch. “All my previous buddies were nothing like this. They were all distant and… I usually spent all my time in my cell and now I’m here.”

“Feeling grateful?”

“If you were to put it in human words, yes. But devils don’t feel grateful. Only for their lives.”

“Is that so?” You hum, your hands playing with a spare feather that had fallen onto the pillow, “You really aren’t grateful for any of the stuff I’ve done for you?”

“It’s not your fault that I can’t feel it.”

“Then what can you feel?”

“…guilt.” He mumbled, he wasn’t quite sure why he was telling you this. Maybe your words had gotten to him, or maybe he was too tired to control himself. “Whenever I take the life span away from a human, I feel guilt.”

“That isn’t very devil-like.”

“I’m still an angel, so I guess it makes sense.” His wings fluttered again, wrapping themself around his body— like a ball.

“You tired yet?” You ask. He nods in response, you can tell by the way his halo started to bob up and down. You smile gently as you grab another blanket that had fallen onto the floor and rested it onto him. “Good.”

Before you could get up to leave, his voice cracked through the air, “please don’t leave yet. I’m still awake.” He shot up, leaning over the pillow to look at you. The glow of his halo reflected against your eyes as you swallowed hard.

You sat in silence again, but this time you were looking in his eyes, his ruby-like eyes. Sighing, you pulled him onto you again, toppling over the pillow barrier. Now he laid on top of you, your arms holding him tight. Stroking his hair softly, you started to hum out a lullaby. The song was simple, definitely not the best vocals… you were tired and laying on your back of course, but it was nostalgic. Continuing to smooth out the stray strands on Angel’s hair, “you asleep yet?”

“No.”

“Should I keep going?–”

“Hey,” He popped his head up.

“Yeah?”

“I think I like you.”

“Yeah, I think you do too.”

•••|•••|•••|•••|•••|•••

sorry that it wasn't what the ask asked for, the end of part 1 is just too sad and i wasn't exactly in the mood to make angst... also it's been 3 years.

“What are you… doing here?” You ask Akane, who latched on you the moment she heard your voice.

“Ahh!! [name], I haven’t seen you in so long! I missed you so much!” Akane cried out, sobbing into your shoulder, “And when I saw what you had texted me, I had to make my way over here!”

“Ohoho?? Well, long time no see to you too, Akane!” Memcho laughed, “You two seem to be having a moment, so I’ll see myself out for now! See you later!!!” She laughed some more, running away to what you can only assume is the direction towards Ruby and Kana.

“Y-You saw my text?” You mumbled, “But you didn’t open it so I thought that…”

“Well I kind of wanted it to be a surprise.” She smiled softly as she pulled away from the hug, “Now what I want you to know is that what happened last night isn’t your fault, and I’m so grateful that you came clean to me as soon as you could. Now…” She signaled to the door.

“O-Oh yeah, you can come inside! Well it’s not my house, but I’m sure they won’t mind.”

“Thank you, [name].” She smiled again, walking inside the large home. You followed closely behind her.

When you did, you saw Aqua again. Still sitting at the kitchen’s table. You looked back at Akane, but before you knew it, she was across the room, right in front of Aqua.

“Oh, Akane. You’re here too.” Aqua mumbled, a little shocked with how fast Akane came close to him. He quickly stood up, making Akane look up to him rather than the other way around. She smiled when he stood up, on her tippy toes she gave him a kiss on the cheek before backing away, “That’s for saving me during my controversy, and for technically being my boyfriend.”

And before you knew it,

SLAP!

A loud noise echoed across the room. Your jaw dropped when you saw Akane’s hand swiftly fly across Aqua’s face. He looked almost as shocked as you were.

“And that’s for trying to kiss my partner while they're most vulnerable.” She states simply, quickly making her way back towards you, “Let me know if he gives you any more trouble, [name].” She turned towards Aqua, “Actually, both of you. Don’t go harassing each other.”

Partner? You blushed when that one meaningful word escaped her lips.

She held your hand before kissing your lips for a split second, “I’ll be your number one fan, [name]. Tell me all about B-Komachi, I can stay here for a few more minutes. And if I can get to your concert, I’ll be sure to be right at the front! But no promises that I’ll be there, unfortunately I have a heavy schedule these days.”

“Really? My oshi color is blue! Just like your hair!” You smile, keeping her hand right in yours. It felt as if you were back in your old life, right next to Hanae. 

“Aww, that’s so sweet of you!”

“I missed talking to you in real life.”

“I missed you.”

“Well I missed you more!”

“Nuh uh”

While you and Akane were stuck in an endless loop of lovey dovey-ness, Aqua was still in quite the shock from the slap. He felt his right cheek sting, but what stung more was his heart. ‘That should be me with you there, not Akane.’ is what he thought, but seeing you happy was enough for him. Your smile looked exactly like Ai’s, just like how Ai used to smile at him when she was alive.

He could wait a little longer before that was him with you.

Just like that, the few minutes you had with Akane slipped away in what it felt like only a few seconds. Akane waved her goodbye as the car parked in front of Aqua’s house swiftly left without a honk.

“Well that was unexpected.” Aqua said, sitting back down in his chair, “Oh and, [name]. I’m sorry about what happened last night.”

“You should be.” You muttered, taking a seat next to him, “But as long as Akane forgives you, then I do too. I guess…” 

That’s when your phone buzzed from inside your pocket. It was from Akane! It read: “I’m sorry I said partner so suddenly, it was in the moment and I apologize again if it was too much. I may have sounded too forward, but I really do mean it! But we barely spend any time together anymore, so I think that, looking back on my actions, it would be better if I had your answer first!

However, I do think it would be best if both of us were to focus on our careers. It would be horrible if something were to happen to any of us because of a crazed fan!

…and also I believe that me, you, and Aqua could work out together;;; let me know what you think..!! It might sound crazy I’m sorry :( it’s also okay if you don’t want anything in general!

By the way, you look beautiful as always.

PS. If Aqua does anything like that again I’ll beat him up for you!

PSPS. I am legally supposed to write this down because of my higher ups besides the last few parts. I’m sorry. (TTYS!)

PSPSPS. I am also legally obliged to say that what I meant about beating up Aqua was a joke. Love you!”

You smiled at your phone while you read her text, though your smile turned into a frown when you fully wrapped your head around it. It’s so stupid that they’re controlling her love life.

But from now on, you wouldn’t have to feel the burden of hurting Hanae— Akane by leading people on because the two of you aren’t in an official relationship! Well… you were already doing that in the first place but…

Anything for Han— I mean- Akane.

You took a deep breath before speaking to Aqua again, “Aquamarine Hoshino, from now on, consider us partners as well☆! I just got Akane’s approval, so now I won’t feel so guilty if something ever happens between the two of us.” You smirk, slowly pushing a part of his bangs behind his ear.

His face was brushed with blush after your touch, it was honestly kind of cute, but not that cute… 

“Alright.” He replied, pulling your hand away from him. 

You couldn’t sense anything from him. As in: you couldn’t tell if he was angry, sad, or annoyed. Which, for someone as experienced as you, was strange. Hopefully he’s not upset with you… maybe he could already tell that you’re just leading him on?

Ehh, so be it.

˚⋆୨ ✶ ୧⋆˚

After a somewhat filling breakfast with the girls, Miyako hurled you and the rest of B-Komachi with a cart full of luggage into her van. The ride there was sweet, Ruby and Mem were singing B-Komachi’s recently learned songs, Kana was looking out the window in silence, and Aqua was sitting in the back next to her presumably scrolling through content on his phone. Meanwhile, you were sitting in the front seat next to Miyako while scrolling through the endless hype tweets you were getting from social media.

“Anata no aidoru…” Ruby started to sing the next song that played on the karaoke CD.

“Sain wa B!” Mem sang along with her, putting her hand in hers. They were smiling and giggling.

“Chu!” You murmur instinctively, blushing a little bit when realizing what you just said. 

“Oh my gosh!! [name] said it– I mean, [alias] said it!! They said the thing!!!” Ruby gleefully shouted, getting up from her seat to shake your shoulders from behind.

“Even though it was supposed to be my line!” Kana complained jokingly, looking away from the window to you with a smirk on her lips. The boy sitting next to her looking over to you as well.

“I’m sorry! I won't do it on the stage.. It’s just so catchy and– You weren’t even going to say it!”

“You don’t know that!”

“Well if you waited any longer you would’ve been off count!” You slyly reply, you knew what you said was a bit too much, but it was in the moment.

“Oh shut up!!” Kana whined, throwing a plastic water bottle towards your head. She promptly got a scolding from Miyako about driving safety, which made the other girls tense up with you giggling and Aqua having a back and forth with her.

A few more minutes passed until Miyako pulled into the packed parking lot of the convention. She parked her minivan into the smallest crevice she could find, making it almost impossible to slip out from her car, but you made it.

“Alright girls, we’re going to the dressing rooms,” Miyako announced, rustling with her map, “Which I think is… that way.” She points towards the door with the pink door frame, “Oh wait, actually it might be that building.”

“Here Miyako, let me look. I’m great with maps!” Memcho sings, “Okay… so if we’re at the entrance now… wait- we’re next to that big tree, nevermind, it’s not even on the map. Uhh.. What about that statue?”

“It shouldn’t be that hard to figure out a map.” Kana sighs, pulling out her phone. “Literally just look at the email they sent us. See, look! We’re supposed to be going into the Yoisaki Tower.”

“I know that, Kana!!!” Memcho sighs, “It just doesn’t say where it is!”

“Oh there it is!” Ruby says, pointing to the sign that points towards the red-ish building, “It wasn’t that hard!”

“Oh.”

“That's what you call tunnel vision” You laugh, “Come one, let’s go!” You pull your suitcase towards the entrance.

The dressing room looked like hell, and it felt like hell as well. There were, what felt like, millions of girls stuffed into one floor. Many of which were crying, fanning themselves, or jumping around.

“Oh my god, this is heaven! There’s so many pretty girls wearing pretty dresses! Oh my god, I just can’t!” Ruby squealed, leaning against you, “[alias], hold me!” You laugh along, grabbing Ruby’s shoulders.

“There's an empty table over there, it should say B-Komachi and if it doesn’t, go ask the staff where you should put your stuff down. I have a huge plate on my hands right now, so if you girls could take care of that stuff and change your clothes accordingly, then that would be amazing.” Miyako said, tapping away at her phone as she mutters something under her breath, “You guys are on at 8 PM, so in about 6 hours? Prepare yourselves please!” She smiled at the four of you before quickly running off towards a man wearing a headset.

“Ahh!! Isn’t this exciting?! The full idol experience!” Ruby shouts, jumping around, “Ohh!! We should watch some shows, it’ll be so fun– and we have so much time!! Arrgh! I just can’t wait!!!”

“That’s great, Ruby, but maybe we should put our stuff down first.” Kana says, pulling Ruby towards the empty table.

“I wonder where Aqua is right now.” You say out loud, following the two girls with Memcho and your suitcase.

“Oh? Do you like him?” Mem giggles.

“Ah… well. Not really, it’s just that. If we’re all here, then where is he? I mean, even Miyako is here. I was just wondering, that’s all.”

“Well it seems like you’re thinking about him all the time! You must have a cruuush!!~” Mem says, nudging your side.

“What??! Me? No… No way, if anyone likes Aqua then it has to be Kana! Have you seen the way they are together? It’s crazy!”

“Well… I guess you do have a point, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t like him!”

“Oh please, Mem, I’m in a good and dedicated and nice relationship with Akane.”

“Yeah sure you do… definitely didn’t overhear you talking with Aqua about you know… the opening up of the relationship~”

“What?”

“Yeah I was there!”

“Uhm…” Your face turns red, “We should… stop talking now.”

“Anything you say, boss man.” Mem laughs, walking towards the other girls much faster than the two of you were going originally.

“Ah! Don’t call me that– but in other words,” You smile, catching up to her, “Did you see them? *Jump Jump More are here! We could definitely catch their show!”

“Maybe you should catch it with Aqua!”

“Memcho!!!”

˚⋆୨ ✶ ୧⋆˚

There are approximately 10 more minutes until you and the girls get to be on the Star Stage. The outfit you were wearing was red, just like the other girls. The tie you had on was unique in the sense that it was one of the long ones, the bottom half of your outfit has a half skirt, and you had leggings underneath them. Not to mention your mask looked entirely different: you had commissioned a friend to 3D print a replica with a strong resin mold and paint it blue to match your lightstick.

You couldn’t take your eyes away from the mirror in front of you, this had been the first time B-Komachi had all been in outfits together, all in one place. “We look beautiful.”

“I feel like I’m going to throw up” Memcho sighs.

“Oh my god- I am not that ugly!!!” You whine.

“Oh no, not you. It’s just that… I’m so not ready to go out there.” Mem sobs, putting her hands over her face, “I feel like I’m going to throw up!”

“Memcho, snap out of it already!” Ruby shouts, shaking her shoulders back and forth, “We’re going to go out there and we’re going to blow their brains out with how cool we are! And we’re going to have a million fans after this show because we’re just so amazing!!!”

“Ruby, you’re crazy… and so out of it.” Kana sighs, “But I’m scared too… what about you, [alias]?”

“I’m so excited to be on the stage☆!” You smile underneath your mask.

“You’re totally lying, I get it.” Kana snarkily laughs, pushing your shoulder, “It’s good to have a positive outlook.”

“If I throw up, we should all throw up together so that it looks synchronized and on purpose so that the fans will think we’re cool and that we were trying to send a message-” Memcho rambles

“I think we broke her.” Kana murmurs, “And we’re on in a few minutes… this is insane.”

“Snap out of it Mem!!!!” Ruby shouts again, “Come on!” 

The girls continue to argue and chat as you zone out completely. Your second life had played out just like this and it went on terribly. Exactly like this. Would you die again? Right here, in front of… you don’t know how many people are out here, but this is the 21st century! Technology has changed and so has the stage light strength industry…probably.

But then again, maybe a screw is loose and it’ll fall on top of you, crushing every bone in your body, and your corpse will be as flat as paper. Then again, maybe it’d crush a different member, but you wouldn’t want any of the girls to be hurt, so maybe it would be best for it to just crush you instead. Though that would also be horrible because you’d have to wait another whatever years to see Hanae again–

Right, Hanae. This concert has to be perfect so she can find you. So you can find her… and a name as famous as B-Komachi would definitely attract her. You’d be able to find her and have your happy ending.

Before you could spiral deeper into your thoughts, one of the staff members’ voice boomed, “Alright, B-Komachi, you’re up.”

Ruby grabbed your hand and put on a smile as incredible as Ai’s. Hand in hand, you and your friends walked onto the stage together. The moment you step foot onto the stage, the crowd cheered, and they cheered loud. You scanned the hundreds of people to see if you could make out a single recognizable face, whether it be Akane, Hanae, or even Aqua, you didn’t really care, but you didn’t find any. Though on the other hand, you felt happy seeing tons of people waving blue lightsticks in the air, shouting your name. 

The sea of people had a mix of three primary colors. A majority had blue for you, a good chunk had yellow for Memcho, and the other noticeable amount had red for Ruby. You didn’t see many white lightsticks, like at all. You felt really bad for Kana.

The happiness didn’t last long though, your head instantly went up, looking at the stage lights on top of you. They looked good, and really bright. A few more seconds passed by before you felt Kana pull you to your designated spot.

Rumors spread around the dressing room about the Star stage, and they proved to be correct. It was incredibly hot and stuffy. You hadn’t even started performing yet!

“We are STAR T☆RAIN!” The song started soon after that thought left your mind, instinctively, your arms and legs started moving in sync with the other girls. You felt like butter. You’ve practiced this song almost a million times, so you felt like your moves were as smooth and as silky as *butter! You smiled, and though your fans wouldn’t be able to see it underneath your mask, it felt amazing. All your worries seemed to have faded away, all you could think about was this extremely catchy song.

“Check! Now!” You sang along, your stomach felt like a dozen butterflies just hatched you, in a good way, “Come on, come on, come on, come on!”

“We are STAR T☆RAIN!” 

What a wonderful night you were going to have.

The four of you performed two other songs during your concert. You saw Kana light up when she saw Aqua do his little *wotagei dance, Ruby and Mem’s lightsticks in one hand, Kana and your’s in another. It was really cute when she smiled, it made you smile as well.

Waving goodbye to your fans, you felt giddy inside. Your fears of stage lights completely vanished after you left the stage. B-Komachi’s fans and yours made you feel whole.

“Ahhh!!! What a thrill!” Ruby cheered, “We did so good!”

“And we didn’t throw up!” Memcho chimed in, jumping up and down.

“Yeah, I think that’s normal.” Kana sighs, looking out the window next to her.

“It’s such a shame that we couldn’t stay longer and watch the other concerts.” You sigh, finally getting in the back of the car to take your mask off. You take a deep breath in, completely forgetting you were sitting next to Aqua.

“That’s on you. I watched a ton.” Aqua said to you, a small smirk on his lips.

“Oh shut up!!” You playfully complain, punching his arm. “I didn’t even know where you were.”

“Oh, so you were going to watch them with me?” Aqua laughs, looking into your eyes. Which this time, didn’t make you as uncomfortable as it did the first time you met.

“I was just kind of bummed out that Akane didn’t show up.”

“She did though, just not for B-Komachi’s concert because it was too late.”

“What??! Really? You should’ve texted me! I would’ve given her a private concert or something!! She hasn’t ever seen me in my idol outfit before… what a bummer.” You whine, leaning your head against his shoulder.

“Well I hadn’t ever seen you in that outfit either, and I thought it looked good.” He said, instantly you felt a blush come across your cheeks. You pull away from his shoulder, staring at Memcho who was giving you a suggestive look. Kana on the other hand looked like she was about to break down. You wonder how she’s feeling, “Also, it would probably be important if I told you that I lied and she didn’t show up, or she did but I didn’t see her.”

“I hate you.”

“That’s too bad.”

-End of Become_a_Butterfly

“Hi Aqua!” You say giddily, popping your head out from the door in front of him, “I heard you and Akane are going on a date together! Actually, I heard it from Akane herself and she said that I could join the two of you☆!!”

“I don’t have anything against that.” Aqua replied, shrugging your words off. He muttered something under his breath as well, but you didn’t exactly care enough to ask him to repeat it.

“We haven’t spent any time together in like 2 days! And we haven’t spent any good quality time together in a few weeks!” You shake your head in glee, latching onto his arm, “Let’s walk over there together so it’s like a double gift!”

“I don’t even know what that means, but okay.” Aqua smirks, letting your touch sink in.

The walk there was extremely pleasant, it was a sunny day with people all over Tokyo. Small talk didn’t feel as awkward as it did a few months ago and not having your mask on out in public felt even better. The arm you had on Aqua was quickly pulled away after Akane was in your line of site.

Running towards the cafe, you almost tripped over your feet, but Aqua caught you, arms intermingled with yours. Your face morphed into a red tomato in embarrassment as you thanked him, shuffling more carefully towards the cafe this time. 

“[name], Aqua! You’re finally here!” Akane smiled, “Thank you so much for agreeing to come, and of course, [name], you won’t need to be in any of the pictures.”

“If you asked me to be in a picture, I would say yes. Anything for you!!!” You cheer, hugging Akane tightly, “☆But that probably isn’t a good idea haha…”

“Yes, thanks for having us and finding this place.” Aqua says, pulling up a chair next to him, “This place looks very… expensive.”

“Well it’s not! It’s pretty affordable, well… for someone that makes as much money as us… so I guess not that affordable, but that’s fine! Right?”

“I think that it’s perfectly fine! I’m like totally loaded,” You butt in, rubbing your cheek against Akane’s palm like a cat, “I can even pay for you too, go easy on me though… I don’t want to spend too much”

“So I’m not worth that much?”

“What!!? No way! I’m sorry you can spend-“

“I was only kidding.” Akane giggles, pulling her palm away to cover her mouth as she smiles. “Oh! I wish I could’ve seen you on stage, but I was so busy… it’s my life’s biggest regret.”

“Awwhh! Akane, you’re too kind! I feel like my heart’s going to explode out of my chest!”

“Alright, alright.” Aqua sighs, pulling out one of the flimsy menus from the table’s side, “I don’t plan on staying here for too much longer if the only thing the two of you are going to do is love bomb each other.”

“This isn’t love bombing!” You murmur, pulling away from Akane, “But I guess it would be good to order something.”

“Great idea, why don’t you get me something sweet, [name]? I’m okay with anything.” She smiles, pulling a menu out from the table’s side as well.

“Okay… you don’t have any allergies, right? Right. Hmm… why not get this month’s special? It looks super cute! It even has a cat shaped sweet on the top!” You say, pointing to the large image plastered on the menus second page.

“I was thinking of getting that too.” Aqua chimed in, closing the menu in front of him.

“Alright then! So we’re getting three of the… Strawberry Kitty Parfait’s. What a cute name they have.” Akane giggles, talking to the server that just walked up to your table. With a smile and a nod, the server quickly left with her notepad. It was only a few minutes later when the server would come back with three parfaits on a tray. Placing it gently down before she bowed and took her leave.

“Woah these look so cute..!!!” You gasp, picking one up with your left hand, your right struggling to open the camera on your phone, “They totally look the exact same as they did on the menu! That’s pretty rare these days.”

Akane notices your phone and takes hers out as well, “Aqua, we should all take a picture together!” She smiles softly, “You too, [name]! I won't post the one that you’re in though, so don’t worry.” You agree with a small nod as Akane quickly snaps a few photos. They came out… okay. Aqua was inexpressive as usual, Akane was amazingly cute as usual, and you were also there.

“They look nice.” Aqua stated, finally putting the parfait to his mouth, “And it tastes okay.”

“I think you’re the cutest, [name].” Akane teases, putting her parfait down, “I’ll just add a few filters… isn’t this one cute? It gives me and Aqua pink cat ears!” You agree with her as she continues to edit her photos for the next few minutes while Aqua starts to look bored.

“Oh uhm!!” You stutter out, “I think Aqua looks nice here...” A slight blush reddens your face in embarrassment. You couldn’t believe the words that just left your mouth, why are you trying to be nice? “And the cute little filter really… brings out your eyes.”

“I think I’d really rather not be complimented than hear any of that again.” Aqua groaned playfully, resting his chin in the palm of his left hand as he stared at the two of you.

“You are such an asshole.” You rolled your eyes and smiled as you lightly punched his arm, “It’s hard to compliment a dumb face like yours, y’know? Just take it and be happy. I bet all my other fans would do it.”

“Who said I was your fan?”

“With the way you danced with my light stick in hand, I’d say you’d have to be my fan! Or at the very least, B-Komachi’s fan!” You suddenly put a hand over your mouth. Darn… you’re usually so careful about that stuff when you’re out in public! “Is what I would say if I was a popular idol… which I definitely am not..!!”

“It’s okay, [name]. I doubt anyone overheard.” Akane comforts you, putting a hand to your back, “But… even if Aqua isn’t a fan of yours, I still am! You don’t need to worry at all.” A cute smirk pulls up to her lips, as she uses her other hand to take a bite of her parfait.

“That’s right! I don’t need a stinky man like you at all, Aqua.” You say as you shake your head around and stick your tongue out.

“Now you’re just acting childish.” Aqua sighs, leaning his body back against his chair. With that… he locked eyes with Kana. Who was rushing over towards the table.

“Hey!” She somewhat shouted, “You! You need to be more careful when you post stuff on your socials, you can’t be acting all willy nilly! What if a crazed fan somehow managed to track you down?!” Kana pulled out her phone to show Akane the post she had put out a few minutes earlier, “Especially if you went out of your way to bring [name] with you on your date! What would the media think?” Kana lowered her voice when she mentioned you, you appreciated it.

“A crazed fan? One like you?” Akane momentarily sneered for a second before reverting back to her normal self, “I do doubt the amazing child prodigy, Kana Arima, would go down to such stalker-ish tactics.”

“I was just passing through when I saw your post!” Kana was quick to defend herself, “I thought it’d be a perfect way to teach both you and Aqua a lesson on online safety! Though I guess it should be towards all three of you.”

“You two… know each other?” Aqua murmured out awkwardly.

“Of course they do, keep up, smelly.” You laughed.

“Stop acting like a grade school bully.”

“You can’t tell me what to do!~”

“How could I not know the great prodigy, Kana? She was all the buzz back then… not much now though. I even heard she joined an idol group? Way to realize some things weren’t meant to be.” Akane put on a cocky attitude. You’ve never seen her like this before!

“I hadn’t heard of the name Kurokawa until recently.” Kana lied, focusing her attention onto Aqua, “Recently as in, she’s in the cast for the Theatre version of Tokyo Blade with me and you, Aqua.”

“So you heard, hm?” Akane sarcastically hummed.

“I didn’t.” Aqua looked around at the two girls in front of him, “I didn’t know this was so… I didn’t know that actors are so… scary.”

“Well that’s all I came here to say.” Kana said as she turned around, hand on hip. “Get ready for the new production, Kurokawa. Because I won’t lose to you.” With that, she strutted off. You were confused about what she was talking about.

“..So Tokyo Blade is going to get a theater adaptation? That’s cool, I don’t think I’ve read it, but I’ve seen some clips about it on Twitter.” There was an awkward pause where no one else started talking. “Uhm. My favorite character is the one with white hair..? She’s so cool☆”

“Really??!” Akane bursted out, “Sayahime is the girl that I’m playing as! Oh I can’t wait to have you see me!!” She squealed, “I’ll make it seem as if she’s really come to life with you in mind. Ohh!! This is going to be my best performance yet! After this, I’ll truly be the star to take Kana’s spotlight.”

“I didn’t know actors were so competitive! I guess it makes sense though, since it is a job.” You purse your lip, “I’m sure you’ll still be amazing with whatever you do though, Akane☆.”

“Thank you, [name]… alright. Let’s finish our treat and go do something really fun, alright? Aqua, you can join us as well if you’d like.”

“I’m good. Wouldn’t want to suck in all this… happy, feel-good energy. I’ll be taking my leave now. Have a good rest of your date.”

“Awh, it won’t be any fun without Aqua…☆” You whine playfully, “but if you truly insist on leaving, there’s nothing I can do!” You giggle, scooting your chair closer to Akane. “☆Buh-bye!”

Aqua grumbles something under his breath as he waves his final goodbye a few steps away from the cafe. He noticed the way you acted differently between him and Akane. He wishes you’d give him the affection you give her, though he’d never say anything like that out loud.

“[name], stop teasing him so much. One of these days he’ll really take offense to what you say.”

“Oh?☆ But it’s all fun in games! I’m sure he knows it, deep down at least.”

He doesn’t know. In fact, he doesn’t even know how to accept your gestures. He can’t decode them like how he can with everyone else, he can’t figure out what’s genuine or what’s not. Your eyes trick him, leading him in a hole deeper than he can crawl out from. One’s just like Ai, who he’s desperate to keep safe.

-End of Full_of_Happiness

Day after day you sit in your boring classroom. After the rehearsals and practices for Tokyo Blade started up, you barely got to see Akane and Aqua. Aqua would show up to class, but usually on the days he did you would be the one out of school doing your job. You had friends in class, but they didn't hold the same bond you and Aqua had after the start of B-Komachi, though they were getting close.

"[name]!! What did you get on the test?" Eruru asked as she ran up towards your desk, the closing bell had rung a few minutes earlier. With her own test paper in one hand and her other gripping onto the sleeve of Matsuyo's wrinkled uniform, "Let's compare our scores!!"

"Ah... I got a 91☆" You say, spinning your paper so it could face them, "It's not bad but I totally could have done better if it wasn't for question 12... I suck at explanation problems."

"A 91??! That's so good!! That's totally not fair! I only got an 84." Eruru whined as she plopped down onto the seat she had pulled up, consequently letting go of Matsuyo's arm.

"What did you get, Matsuyo?" You asked politely.

"Oh. Uhm..." Matsuyo bit his lip as he clenched the paper in his hand, "Let's just say it was above a 40. Yeah."

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Matsuyo. Honestly, this test was a hard one!" Eruru said as she tried to cheer him up, "Plus, that's an upgrade since the last test!"

"I don't know, man. School is a total waste of my time. It's not like I'm really going to do anything after this."

"But having a good education opens up a lot more opportunities in the future!" You chime in, "Even if you don't do well with the paper grade stuff, some of this information is pretty useful to have."

"You sound exactly like my Aunt." Matusyo groaned, laying his forehead on your desk, "This is all messed up. How do you of all people manage to keep up with all your grades when you barely show up to class as is?"

"Yeah, you totally have to be cheating or something!! Ohmygosh, I bet someone implanted a chip into your brain and–"

"Eruru, stop that. No one did anything to me and I definitely am not cheating. I know I don't ever come in person but... I take night classes!☆" You lie through your teeth. In reality, it was in a previous life where you were an academic weapon. Now all you do outside of class is stream or oversleep from a previous night of streaming.

"Night classes?" Matusyo murmured, "Do they really help?"

"Yeah, but they cost money. If anything, I could always tutor you, Matusyo.☆" You smile softly as you tilt your head to look down at him.

"We should totally have a group study sesh together! It would be so lovely and we would all be so productive and we could finally spend some time together with all three of us!" Eruru bursted out, "You two could both come to my house– or maybe the library would be better because I have a lot of family with me... or maybe we could go to one of your houses?"

"I think a library would be better." Both you and Matusyo say.

"Alright then! I'll schedule a study sesh in the library that's near the convenience store that's a street down from school, okay? I'll send the directions link in the group chat too!" Eruru said, pulling out her sparkling phone from the pocket of her shirt.

The three of you get up from your desk and slowly walk your way out of the classroom and eventually out of school. You wave your goodbye once you all start parting ways, a soft smile on your lips. Once everyone was gone though, the smile you once had returned back to its usual neutral expression. Looking down at the ground, even spending quality time with your friends couldn't fill the void without your partner.

Now you also had to schedule around the library meeting for future streams or maybe you could just not stream that day... you weren't sure what you were going to do yet. You pull out your phone once you hear it ring, but it was just a couple of spam messages. You lift your head to look up at the sky, it was still bright and you had many more things you needed to accomplish today.

Tossing your book bag onto the floor of your apartment, you kicked off your shoes to the wall. This is how you usually were when you got home, but this time you don't have a sweet message from Akane to look at. You frown as you stare at your reflection from your phone's screen. When did you get so codependently attached? You whine and grumble about self deprecating things as you continue pulling off your school uniform. A few more minutes pass before you find yourself booting up your monitor, one screen with Twitter open and the other with your face tracking application. Sitting up to adjust your camera, you sit and stare at your model, watching it's every move. Watching the mouth open and close, and the hair flowing down. Maybe I should buy a new model... or maybe a new outfit.

Today you were going to have a collaboration with a few other talents from Ichigo Productions, you still considered yourself independent from the studio, but you really feel as if you're stuck between a gray area. Separating yourself from your online presence grew harder with each passing day. You groan as you see who you're collaborating with, this line up won't bring in the viewers you normally have, not to mention it's set in an awkward time.

You wonder when you'll be able to see Hanae again. That's the only reason you joined B-Komachi after all, will she be able to find you or will you have to go out searching for her in person? If the latter is correct, might as well just stop streaming as a whole, right?- You catch yourself before you start spewing off more nonsense.

"Okay then... the first person is Pieyon." You murmur, "Isn't he a workout influencer? What is he going to do with a VTuber??" You feel yourself wanting to smash all the keys on your keyboard.

˚⋆୨ ✶ ୧⋆˚

You looked up from your phone, you were right in front of the library that Eruru had mentioned. You were surprised that you hadn't noticed this place before, it's very modern compared to the older libraries you had visited in your past lives. Instead of the shabby wooden brown color you would usually think of when someone says library, it was in a very modern gray with white blue hues. The moment you walk in you locked eyes with Matsuyo who was sitting on a sofa that was set to the side.

"You're late." Matsuyo sighed out, he looked anxious.

"You were just early! I'm a busy person, y'know." You light heartedly joke, but it didn't seem to lift his mood, "Were you worried about me ghosting you or something? I would never do that to you."

"..." Matsuyo fidgeted with the textures on his phone, "I know but..."

"If it makes you feel better, I'll make sure that I come early next time☆." You smile, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Thanks..." Matsuyo murmured, a light shade of red covered his face. You giggle a bit before Eruru stomps her way towards the two of you.

"Ahh! Sorry for being so late!" She said loudly, she quickly put a hand to her mouth as she lowered her voice, "Okay... Thanks for waiting for me♡, I reserved a room in the upper corner so... Right, okay we should be able to go there now. Follow me!"

Letting go of Matsuyo's shoulder, you quickly follow behind Eruru who was observing the people around her. Going up the stairs and taking a left led you to the room that you'd be spending the rest of your hour in. It didn't look very comfortable, but it looked very efficient for learning. There was a large window for you to look out of, and the furniture was also covered in a modern gray.

You take a seat next to Matsuyo and lower your bag onto the side table, "So what did you want help with, Matsuyo?☆"

"Math." Matusyo groaned as he slipped a notebook and pencil out from his bag, "To be honest, I need help with everything, but we only have about 70 minutes left to use this place so... I'd like to focus on that please."

"How polite!" Eruru chimed in, "Help me with math too, [name]!!!♡"

"Alright alright..." You smile, "Okay give me specific problems to help you, alright? I could go over this entire unit, but that'll take too much time. As for you, Matsuyo... let's start with problem 4."

This went on for about an hour before you flopped onto your chair... Matsuyo actually caught on pretty well, all he really had to do was apply himself and Eruru was already good at it, though it felt like ages before you could sit down again.

"We did a lot of good work, thanks [name]!! How about we go to a restaurant together? It doesn't have to be expensive... maybe that ramen shop that's just a few blocks down? But that's kind of too greasy to eat right now... or maybe a cake place? Fried chicken sounds good too..." Eruru kept rambling on.

"I think [name] would really enjoy a sit down kind of place, right?" Matsuyo says as he looks down at you, you nod your head hesitantly, "If that's the case, there's this diner that I like going to... it's all experimental food, but they have things from all around Asia. It doesn't really cost that much either... last time I checked."

"Ooh!! What's it called? Could we walk to it?" Eruru asked

"Lab."

"Just Lab?"

"Well I don't remember anything else, but everything on the menu goes onto the wall and it looks like the elemental table... It's cool."

"Awhh!! Now you're really convincing me!" Eruru said excitedly, pulling her phone out, "Hey, it's not that far away! We could definitely walk there! Do you think you're up for it, [name]?"

"How far away is it?"

"Just a few blocks."

"Ah... Hmm... it does sound good so I guess I'll go." You say, getting up from your chair and grabbing your bag. You nudge Matsuyo's arm in a joking manner, "This better be worth it!"

"I swear it is!" Matusyo replied with an ambitious look in his eyes, you smiled up at him for a second before the three of you started to leave the library.

The walk there was pleasant, you liked watching the people around you. Matsuyo kept to himself for most of the walk and Eruru pinched you whenever she saw a brightly colored car, of course you joined her little game soon after. Matsuyo looked up towards the sky, on multiple occasions you had to pull him away from bumping into people, but otherwise it was a very uneventful happy walk.

The three of you entered the restaurant the moment you arrived. It was very cute and was decorated to match its "science" theme. Matsuyo got a room for the three of you, where you sat and took out your menu.

"Wow, Matsuyo! This place is so cool♡!! It looks so super trendy!" Eruru said, "I'm so surprised that I haven't heard of this place before!"

"Me too!" You agree, "I just hope the food is as good as its design."

"It is, I swear." Matusyo nods his head, "My favorite dish here is this one." He puts his finger on your menu, "It's like cold ramen, except the noodles are rice noodles and there's a side of this sweet pickled radish thing... but the main point of the dish is the meat wrapped in this lettuce thing? I don't think it's actually lettuce but I don't really remember what vegetable it's called..."

"That sounds so good!! I've been craving some cold ramen, ahh! I'll order that one. You should get something else so that we can share!" Eruru says, closing her menu and putting it to the side.

"Oh, and the tamagoyaki here kind of suck. You could get better stuff from the street. But they have this octopus on a stick thing, it's fried and really crunchy."

"I'll get that then." You reply with a smile on your lips, "But if I'm being really honest, everything you say is making all these foods sound really appetizing☆!"

"Ah... thank you, [name]." Matusyo mumbled out, face turning red.

A few more minutes pass as you continue looking through the menu, and a few more before a waiter comes to your room and takes the groups' order. You pull out your phone and look through your notifications. Hundreds of likes from your social media, lots of comments from your streaming sites, a few emails from partners, and about three messages from your managers that you promptly responded back to. However, there were none from Akane which lowered your mood a bit. You would go check if  you had gotten any from Aqua, but you already knew what the outcome would be.

"Let's talk!!" Eruru shouted out, "Oops, sorry. Too loud. But we should talk to each other!! Get to know each other, y'know? We've known each other for soooo long but I barely know anything about you guys!"

"That's true. I don't mind talking about stuff like that if you don't mind☆" You reply, laying your head against the palm of your hand.

"Okay okay! Then let's play truth or truth!" Eruru says happily, It's pretty easy to explain, it's just like truth or dare, but you just say a fun fact about yourself! And it can't be something simple, it has to be something big!!!"

"Uhm... alright then. Eruru, why don't you go first?" Matsuyo said quietly, "Truth or truth?"

"Truth!" Eruru smiles, "Okay... a fun fact... My family owns the Wonderland amusement park and after my dad, I'm going to get ownership over it! Well I have older siblings and technically they should get it, but they don't want it." Eruru rambles on, "They don't see the happiness and joy that you get out of it! They say that that type of work will be gone and that people aren't going to go to those types of things in the future, but they're all wrong! Amusement parks will never die!! But with the way my dad is handling the park, our park might actually end up dying and I won't have a job in the future! Which is totally scary I guess."

"Woah." You say out loud, "That was a total run down, do we really have to say all that?"

"Well not really, but I just had to get it off my chest haha..." Eruru's smile turned into a shy one, "I'm really totally passionate about it, and all my other friends think it's a childish dream to have, so I just wanted to test the waters out a bit with you guys..."

"I don't think it's childish at all." Matsuyo chimed in, "It's a real job that real people have. I don't think the wonderland park is going to go into bankruptcy anytime soon, but it'll definitely end up losing popularity in a few years..." Eruru started to frown, but Matusyo kept talking, "...But I think that once you're in charge of it you'll bring it back up and it'll be more popular than ever..!"

"Really??!" Eruru said gleefully, "Thanks for believing in me!!! Now it's your turn, Matusyo!!!"

"Ah... fun fact about me? I really like the band 2You... They've been in a ton of controversies because of their producer, but I can't hate it because the music is just so good. And it always upsets me when they take their songs down from my streaming service because I'd love to listen to them again. They really inspired me to try getting into music, but I wasn't really all that good at it. I've tried singing... or whatever... but I wasn't built for it. Everytime I try I'm so strainy and stuffy, and I don't really have the time or anything to learn an instrument." 2You? You had a whole partnership with 2You a while back, maybe you could use that to get closer with Matsuyo... "I wish I could get better at singing, but I just don't think my vocal chords are up to the challenge, and at my age it's better to just stop trying."

"Don't say that, Matsuyo!" You pout, "I don't know what you sound like, but you should never just give up like that!!"

"I second that!" Eruru agrees.

"2You is a great band too, we should definitely go to a concert together when they go back on tour." You nod, smiling softly.

"Ah, but it costs so much money..."

"I'm sure we could save up together!"

"Alright!" Eruru interrupts, "Now it's your turn, [name]!!! Truth or truth!"

"Truth." You say bluntly, "A truth about me is that... I feel like I'm not that good at talking to people? Well that's a lie. I mean... I feel like I'm not good at connecting with others. Like how I miss school all the time. To be honest, you two are the first friends I've made in person in a long time if I'm not counting the ones I've made at work." You shyly say, "I know it's dumb, ★but I feel really lonely even when I'm surrounded by people. But going out on these trips with you guys makes me really happy☆..."

"That's so sappy!" Eruru cringes, covering her face with your hands, "Your words are too kind, [name]! My heart feels so full♡!"

"I feel the same way too sometimes, [name]." Matsuyo says gently.

You feel that Matsuyo is slowly coming out of his shell, and you can feel that you are too. When the food came out, the room was full of chatter and laughter. It felt really nice hanging out with people without thinking of social media or idol-work. Your mind even drew away from thinking of Akane and Hanae. The meal was great, you would even rank it higher than the time you and the cast of Lovenow went out to eat at that barbeque place. You and your friends stayed in the restaurant for a good thirty more minutes before you got to say your final goodbyes.

At the end of the day, you were rinsing your body with water in your bathroom as you shuffled through the many thoughts in your head. You had a stream planned in the very early hours of the morning tomorrow, which means you must sleep very early tonight. You had to meet up with Akane soon for your own mental wellbeing, maybe Aqua too, but that wasn't a main priority for you. Matsuyo was slowly becoming a closer friend, which means that you might be taking a step in the right direction on finding Hanae. Which makes a small smile creep onto your face. Staring at a tile on your bathroom wall, you feel your heart pulse when you think about seeing Hanae again.

One day you'll see her again, one day soon.

-End of Blink_of_an_Eye

Check out the other parts here {CLICK ME!}

March 9th/Requiem/AVD 1-3

Flowers of Insanity/LAS/EFoT 4-6

REL:L_Y/Magic Words/LSG 7-9

As If/IGtFA/CitY 10-12

BoB / FoH / Blink of an Eye 13-15

It's been a few days since the video was posted. Multiple news websites were talking about it, people online were harassing others about it, even people in real life were talking about it. Even though Akane doesn't want to be the face of the news so soon, it's shining a better light on her. She is a victim of the internet and she'll never have that innocence back, but she's a lot better now.

Akane has been showing up on set more often now, you cling onto her like there's no tomorrow when she stays. Honestly, when she first came back, you swear you could feel your eyes watering, but that isn't important. What is: is that Aqua gave Akane an important suggestion. "Try acting, be someone who you aren't to protect yourself. Separate this show from your real self." It really wasn't something you agreed with, but if it would keep Akane happy and safe, you'd be okay with it.

"It's really all your choice, Akane." You perked up, leaning against Akane's shoulder glaring at Aqua, "Don't think about the audience when you make this decision. I know they're important or whatever, but you are too!"

"I think it's a pretty good idea and I am good at acting, but... what— who should I act as?" Akane asked, tilting her head to the side you were opposite to. Aqua stared out, not giving her a response. "Ahem. [name], what do you think?" Akane shifted her head to face you as you stopped leaning on her shoulder, before you could respond, Akane kept going. "What's your type?"

Your face turned red as your eyes widened under your mask. All eyes were on you, including the people filming. You choke on your words before letting them slip, "M-My ty-t... type..?" You bit your lip, did you even have a type? The only person you've ever fallen for was... Hanae. You caught yourself before you accidentally said her name. Roaming around your mind, you realized how similar Akane and Hanae really were. What differences did they even really have? Hanae was more conservative and less obsessive, then again, people had more of a life outside social media, didn't they? You shake your head after another minute of pondering, "This isn't helpful at all but... *I think you being yourself in all of your 'Akane-ness' is my type."

"You're lying..." Akane blushed, jolting her head to look at the floor, "How could you say that? Even after all I've put you through..— Hm! N-Nevermind..!" Akane took a deep breath in and put her arm around your shoulder, "A-Aqua! What about you? You did save me too after all, I think I can do this for you. As a thanks." You stared at Aqua, is Akane just going to ignore your super-extra-cute confession? You pout under your mask and lean closer into her. Aqua better have a good answer. "So... What's your type, Aqua?"

"Hm..? You're really serious with that question?" Aqua looked a little shocked, he sighed and looked out the window, "I never really thought of that, I guess." He rested his cheek to the palm of his hand and started thinking. "My type... I guess my type is someone who's pretty."

"Go to hell!" You mutter half jokingly.

"Keep going Aqua!" Akane said, pulling out her notepad and pen. Staring at him with her pretty blue eyes.

"Someone who can smile as bright as the sun, and performs without a fault. Assertive behavior and speech... Captivating eyes that can draw you in with one glance..."

"You're telling me you've never thought of your type before? Hah, what a stupid lie." You half-heartedly joke as you shake your head back and forth, "Come to think of it, a pretty girl who works hard... kind of sounds like Ai from B-Komachi, doesn't it?" Aqua's eyes widened for a split second before calming down quickly, his lips forming words, but you couldn't hear it at all.

"Ai? I've heard of her... I'll research her the best I can: I'll be your girl, Aqua!" Akane said with glee, writing down the name in her notepad while putting it back down on the table next to her. She turned back to you and smiled, "And what you said [name]... I.. Mm, thank you."

You leaned onto her shoulder as Aqua stared at the two of you. His eyes were dark. Did no one else notice that at all?

˚⋆୨ ✶ ୧⋆˚

You were back on set today, another week passed by without any progress on finding Hanae. You were inside a classroom, the sun was bright, Aqua sat directly next to you. Couldn't he have found another chair? You'd been sitting next to him the entire school week, your head plopped down into your arms as time passed by slower than usual.

Aqua didn't say anything when he sat next to you, the camera's were on, glaring onto your face. Still, you didn't feel the urge to act or put on a show. This was just life, for you at least.

...

When's Akane getting here?

Just as you thought that, footsteps could be heard from behind the doorway. You got excited, getting back up and impatiently staring in anticipation for Akane to enter.

It was just Mem and Yuki. Ah, well that's fine. Maybe you should go hang out with them? Before you could get up from your seat, the two girls had already come over. Not to you specifically, but towards your general direction. Their real target was Aqua.

"How's it going, Aqu-tan?" Memcho slyly asks, sitting on the desk in front of him, "I overheard that... you have a type??!"

"Yah, and I heard it was pretty basic too! All you care about is looks, am I right? All boys are the same! It's about time you morph into a man!" Yuki says, bursting out laughing after.

"Who told you that?" Aqua asks, deadpanned, he doesn't seem mad or concerned.

"How silly of you, Aqu-tan! I said we overheard!" Mem laughed, you forgot you told her about the 'conversation' you and Akane had with him. "I also heard that Akane was acting for you? That's so totally weird! Why would you do that to that poor girl?"

"Yeah Aqua! You totally suck! All you care about is looks!!" Yuki adds in, you nod your head to their conversation... When is Akane going to come back?

Begrudgingly you continue to watch everything unfold before you as you lean on your arm. All you could think about was Akane.

...When did the two of you get so close?

That's when the door slid open again: It was Akane!

The door was wide open, she didn't enter though. She patiently waited for the cameras to pan to her. Akane I bailed deeply before closing her eyes, when her eyes opened back up she was a completely different person. Her 'aura' changed.

She reminded you exactly of Ai.

You guessed that Aqua noticed too because he was just as shocked as you were, maybe even more. Akane's eyes were different, they looked just like Ai's too— no, they looked just like yours. Just a different color. Was this seriously all just acting? How could someone just change their entire vibe like that?

"What's wrong you all?" Akane asked, looking at everyone present, "It's almost like you've seen a ghost!"

"A-Akane? Is that really you?" Yuki asks, understandably a bit taken back, "You seem so... different...?"

"Do you dislike this part of me, Yuki?" Akane asked, tilting her head to the left. Yuki shook her head while she waddled back towards the two boys who just walked in. "So, how about we hang out all on our own today, Aqua?"

You felt a pang of sadness when Akane said that. Why Aqua? Why not you? You don't blame her though, Aqua is quite handsome, isn't he?

You shove your head back into your arms as the room fell silent. Aqua and Akane left the room together with a group of camera people following them. Was all your hard work for nothing? Did Akane not like you? Did she really like Aqua more than you? Aqua is just so... off putting. But she's never been under his stares for days on end has she?

Aqua totally likes her now, doesn't he?

Why does that make you a little sad?

˚⋆୨ ✶ ୧⋆˚

For the next few days of shooting, Aqua was all over Akane. Though, you weren't out of it the entire time. You and Akane still had moments together, and it was really enjoyable. It felt really familiar, but you couldn't really put your finger on it.

Then it came to the last day on set. Everyone knew that the last episode was all about the cast members confessing to each other. You didn't plan on doing anything, there was an uneven amount so it was bound to happen, a fail on the casting director honestly, but you aren't going to complain. You'd rather not have manic fans asking about your love life while streaming, and if you were going to confess to anyone: It'd be Akane, and she's currently preoccupied with Aqua.

The sky turned dark and the sun started to set, you sat down on a bench as the crew started to gather around. The contestants lined themselves up and discreetly discussed with each other on who picks who. It's usually the boys going for the ladies, isn't it? You could guess who would go with who.

"Alright, is everyone set?" The director asks, casting a glance towards the people working with the lights and cameras.

"Yes sir!" The higher up yelled back.

"Action!"

The air seemed tense, somehow. No one was up to the challenge of going first. You kept to yourself, watching through your mask. Was it figurative or real because it was getting a little harder to breathe as each minute went past.

Noboyuki bit the bullet and went over to Yuki. He got on his knee and poured out his feelings to her, it was honestly kind of cute. She said no though. You didn't actually understand it at all, Yuki said she liked him, so why'd she reject him?

Then it was Kenji, who knew he'd go next— not like there were a lot of options, but still. He went up to Memcho of all people, didn't expect that either. They were so different, so it was kind of a shock to no one when Mem rejected him.

Lastly, it was Aqua's turn. He was standing between you and Akane, his eyes glanced towards you for a split second before he slowly walked towards Akane. She was sitting underneath a tree on one of the other benches, his hand traveled up to her face and brushed a lock of her blue hair out of the way.

Their faces drew closer and closer together, lips barely an inch apart.

Aqua's eyes shut and Akane brought her hand up.

Right before their lips connected, Akane brought a hand up between the two of them.

"I'm sorry, Aqua. I just can't do... that." Her eyes didn't have stars in them, "We can still be boy-girl friends, my heart just... it's for someone else."

She quickly got up from her seat. Everyone seemed shocked, you and Aqua were no exception. What was she up to? Akane excused herself and bowed as an apology to Aqua, and also probably the camera, and marched towards you.

"[name]! Will you accept my confession of love?" Akane shouted out, her face was red and her hands were on her thighs.

"H-Huh? What?? Why me?- I mean I would love to and everything but I seriously don't uhm!!" You stutter, your face turned red. Everything was a blur in that moment, you don't really remember too well as to what happened but, Akane slipped your mask away and kissed you underneath it. Her eyes were shut with passion while your eyes were wide open, stars gleaming. You didn't stop it, a kiss takes two people after all.

You were definitely flustered, your eyes wandered to the people in the crowd watching the two of you. Aqua looked shocked, his mouth was wide open, a real sight to behold. The rest of the crew looked almost exactly as surprised as Aqua, was it really that bad?

Or in other words: Would it give this season of Lovenow higher ratings than the rest?

-End of Re_Love:Love_You

Lovenow was a hit with everyone, there weren't as many controversies surrounding you and Akane that you thought they'd be. Which is a good thing, but mildly strange. The two of you decided to make your relationship private, mostly for your sake, not stating whether the two of you were dating or not. On the inside though, Akane decided to stick to just being friends— Just kidding! The two of you are full on dating!

Just kissing again... it was more of a situationship.

On the other hand, a few days after Lovenow ended, it was released to the public that Akane and Aqua were dating! Which made you... jealous. Though honestly you couldn't really place why.

To your dismay, they didn't air the episode of you and Akane sharing a kiss. Instead, they begged Akane and Aqua to re-record the part and act like they were in love. The two agreed reluctantly while you threw a tantrum in your head.

...

Fuck.

You bite your lip as you throw your head onto your pillow, why was Akane so important to you? Not that it matters right now, you have a party to get to. What would look good on you?

It was the Lovenow after-celebration, not something you've ever been to before. You asked Aqua about it since he had one for a past drama he was in, apparently this one is supposed to be less fancy. Just a casual hangout with the cast, an unofficial party! How cute!

You tossed something on and went to meet your friends at the barbeque place you went to last time. It was the same old, same old, even the seating. You were squished in between both Akane and Aqua, even though the two of them were dating. It was awkward to say the least.

"So I heard that Akane and Aqua were dating!" Memcho stated, poking at the freshly cooked meat in front of her, "What made you change your mind, Akane? I thought that you and [alias] really had something special!"

"Huh? Oh! We do! We do, just for [alias]'s sake. They told me that their fans would freak out or something... and that it was for my safety? I don't really understand it all, but if [alias] wants it then I thought I'd do that."

"Oh I see... then what about you Aqua? What did you think?" Memcho asked, turning to look at him.

"I think that it's fine, me and Akane only started dating because so many people were betting on it on social media."

"Ah, so you're no fun. I see." Mem sighed, collecting some bell peppers from the plate in between her and Yuki, "Then what about you, [alias]?"

"...Akane can choose for herself, that's what I think." You were deadpan with your answer, you didn't want to come off as rude though. Is it too late for that? "☆Oh! But seriously, it's all for Akane's safety that we don't get together. As an internet celebrity, I expected you to understand." You said jokingly.

"Ahh! I do! I do! I'm professional in every aspect- not that I'd expect you to understand either! I am your senior after all, aha!" Memcho defensively shouted, laughing with you.

Kenji and *the other guy entered the room with a few more drinks, this hangout session was a lot less fun than the one you all had last time, for you at least. How could you change that though?

The night was coming to an end, everyone said their goodbyes and you tried your best to cling onto Akane as best as you could. She didn't seem any distant than she was in the beginning, but it still felt as if there was a barrier between the two of you. This is Aqua's fault. You groaned as thoughts wandered in and out of your head, you were surrounded by the two blonde's. You never knew Mem lived in your direction.

The walk was really peaceful, you didn't expect that much from Mem. However, the person to break the peace was Aqua.

"Memcho, what's your dream?" Aqua asked, his head poked out from your side to look at the girl beside you.

"My dream? My dream is to be somewhere, be someone. It was really fun being on stage with all you real celebrities. It was almost like being on a stage." Memcho sighed, she twirled her finger in her blonde locks. "I saw how you reacted when Akane acted like Ai, she really captivated you huh? I really miss that about her..."

"You know about B-Komachi?" Aqua asked

"How could people not know about B-Komachi?" You laugh as you put your arms on the back of your head, "Especially after the tragedy, it's a lesson well learned. Ai didn't deserve that at all, she was going to make it to the top of the world."

"Exactly, right? After that I couldn't believe what horrendous thoughts I had! Even after what happened and what was yet to come, I still wanted to become an idol." Mem looked at the ground before rising up with a smile, "That's all behind me now, I believe in myself, and I'm sure that I'm someone's idol— at least, I'm sure there are hundreds of people looking up to me."

"The two of you really like B-Komachi?" Aqua asked, putting a hand to his chin, "What about you [alias]? Have you ever thought about being an idol?"

"An idol?" You thought about your second life, you weren't even an idol yet. And in this life, you already had a plan set for yourself. You didn't need to go down that path, but you never were an idol before.. What are you even on about? "Oh? I guess I have, but who hasn't in this day and age?"

"Then what would you think about joining the second coming of B-Komachi? Strawberry Productions is trying out the whole idol thing again." Aqua said, putting on a soft smile. It looked weird. "We're friends, aren't we? I think that I know you two well enough to trust that you'll be great idols and won't tarnish the name of Ai." He's acting so strange.

"What?! Oh em gee! It would be an honor!!" Mem agreed happily, "Though, I would need to speak with someone who actually knows what they're doing, make sure it isn't too shady."

"Yeah, if the contract is okay I'll think about it."

"Right, you've been to my home before. Just follow me."

˚⋆୨ ✶ ୧⋆˚

You've been in Aqua's home before, but never this up close. You got to see his mother and sister again, they're really cute. Another thing to add was that his 'house' is a lot larger than yours. What was the word for it? It was a studio apartment while yours was a small crummy apartment your mom left you when she moved back to her home country. You really never realized how big it was.

"Ah, so you've brought another one for me. You're really good at this whole recruiting thing, aren't you?" The pink haired woman grumbled, "How'd you manage to snag this one? A YouTuber and full-time influencer?" She shifted her gaze to look at you, "And a faceless internet celebrity and singer. I'm surprised that either of you were interested in becoming idols."

"It was a dream of mine ever since I was a child, ma'am." A drop of sweat rolled off of Mem's face as she spoke to the director.

"Well the two of you are independent streamers so there aren't any managers I need to talk to?"

"I am independent in it of itself, but I do have a team working for me in the background surrounding legal advice and finances, so I believe that I would have to check in with them before I make any hasty decisions." You say, gripping at your lower forearm, you really didn't want to experience another death so soon. You haven't met Hanae yet... and everything regarding the industry is much more safe, isn't it? So no falling lights.

"Once you get a concrete answer, there won't be any problem regarding Internet personalities, we at Strawberry Productions work with them on a daily basis, but you Memcho. You look like you have something to say."

Memcho was lying about her age. By 7 whole years. You tried your best to suppress a few giggles to slip out from your mouth, but then she poured her heart out about what inspired her, made her keep pushing, and what blocked her from getting any farther. At that point, you felt bad for almost laughing.

"So by the time I was financially stable, I was already over the prime age from any idol to debut..." Mem sighed as she looked down at the ground, fiddling with her fingers. Before anyone else could and then Aqua's sister barged into the room.

"No one is too old to be an idol!" She shouted, jumping on top of Mem with a hug, "Every age is idol age, that's what Ai would say!! Are you really going to join me in B-Komachi?!!" She looked over to you and smiled as bright as the sun, "And you! The one that Aqua totally def-likes-because-why-else-would-he-invite-someone-as-cool-as-you to our house, are you going to join us too!?"

"I'm thinking about it, but I'm sure that you'd all do well without me!" You say, ignoring the parts that she said too quickly for you to understand.

"But you're just so talented!! You can sing so well and you'd be such an amazing addition to B-Komachi!" She shouted out, "Oh! My name is Ruby Hoshino, please remember my name even though you are so ultra-amazingly-famous-celebrity!"

"Th-Thank you, ☆I'm sure you'll be a great idol...!" You feel awkward saying that, did you even really mean it? Probably.

They talked more about it for a few minutes, but it came to an end. You texted your team about joining B-Komachi and they texted back in a meer seconds, it would affect your stream schedule greatly, but you'd still be able to live off of it for a while. You had enough money to sustain yourself and maybe one more person for at least a few years. It was really all up to you, did you want to try to become an idol again?

That was all you could think about, you tried to get sleep but the scene of getting crushed played over and over again. You even searched for any new articles about it, but not a lot showed up. At least, not on the internet. It was over 40 years ago, wasn't it?

God you sound old.

It's a lot safer now, so you wouldn't die from being an idol. With another bonus of being a part of the famed B-Komachi! That would most definitely get Hanae's attention, wouldn't it? It'd help you find her— or maybe Hanae will find you? You'd have to tell Aqua tomorrow at school. Yes.

Anything for Hanae.

˚⋆୨ ✶ ୧⋆˚

The sun rises and so do you, thinking about being an idol made you feel tense all of a sudden. Ruby goes to the same school as you, so it shouldn't be hard to tell her you accept her invitation, right? You could always just ask Aqua. You continue on with your daily routine as you shrug, your uniform looks as plain as it did the day before. Maybe you should add something on to it?

Eruru calls you over and Matsuyo over to her table and yaps on and on about how her weekend was. Being a loved daughter of an amusement park owner would be fun, wouldn't it? She shoves you and Matsuyo in her arms and suggests that you three should go out for fun, you agree with her. Matsuyo hisses at her touch, but doesn't move further.

"Ohh! Let's all take a photo together, it would look really cute for my Instagram!" Eruru says, pulling out her candy colored phone, "Say 'Cheese'!~♡' or how about 'Happy Third Month of School!!' That looks so so cyuute!~ Ah you guys are the best!"

"How does she have this much energy...?" Matsuyo grumbles, taking out his own phone, "But going to the park with the two of you doesn't sound that bad."

"It sounds amazing!☆ We could go on so many of those roller coasters until we vomit our guts out together!⭑" You say clinging onto his back, shaking him back and forth. You felt embarrassed, but he didn't flinch.

"Not you too" He complains, "But that sounds good too, maybe not the vomiting."

"Alright!! What about this Saturday? Or Sunday?" Eruru chimes in, "I posted it and it already has a few likes! We are totally going to be super duper famous!"

"Saturday is fine, we have to study on Sunday though. We have a test, remember?"

"Arghh!! No tests! Those are so boring." She whines.

Aqua walks into the classroom and sees you leaning on Matsuyo, he seems a little disappointed. You brush it off and roughhouse with your newly made friends. Though he was back at it again, staring at you from a distance. It didn't creep you out as much as it did before you officially got to know.

˚⋆୨ ✶ ୧⋆

"Aqua, take me to your sister."

He couldn't take your nerves sometimes, yet he found himself agreeing anyway, as you now walked next to him, hands on your hips. The way to the courtyard felt neither fast-paced or slow, you didn't say anything as you two made it to the destination of where Ruby Hoshino sat.

Neither of you noticed the red haired girl lurking close by.

When Ruby's magenta eyes spotted the two of you, she perked up expectantly.It was as if gears turned in her head until her face lit up and she proudly exclaimed "Oh, Aqua! Are you showing me your first friend?"

Aqua only looked at her with a deadpan expression, but you felt the need to squint your eyes together, the female twins' energy being way too bright. It was somehow higher than Eruru.

"Your sister is too bright, can you tell her that for me?",you stood behind Aqua, only daring to look at the personified sun over his shoulder. He ignored your comment though and gave a court 'No' to his sister, who immediately had the gears turning in her head, again until...

"Ah! Is she your girlfriend?"

Your jaw dropped to the floor. There was a shocked aura coming from one of the bushes nearby, as well as the sound of someone falling back a little, yet nobody bothered to notice. As your eyes went wide, Ruby continued on a rant, completely unbothered though, as she made fun of her brother.

"I can't believe you tried to get with that Akane girl, because like-"

"She is not", Aqua cut his sister off. He put his hand on the small of your back and you tried to not react, but you couldn't tell, was your face heating up? He pushed you forward towards Ruby and then pulled his hand away. "This is [alias]."

...

"Oh!" Ruby really needed to work on her volume control.

The aura coming from the bush changed, you couldn't tell if it was in a positive way or not, but the redhead used it as a hiding spot to claw at her hat.

Eyes blessed with one starry glow gazed into the ones holding two and the blonde girl stepped forward grabbing and holding your hands together. The serious look on her face surprised you, there were so many emotions in her eyes, like a deep galaxy and suddenly you saw an energy in Ruby that you've only ever seen in an idol long passed.

"So you've decided?", there was hope in her voice.

The close proximity was still startling you, as well as her suddenly turning serious, but you quickly tried to gather yourself. Small flashbacks of the long lost time where you've spoken similar words flood your mind, hands unconsciously gripping hers a bit tighter.

"Yeah, I've made up my mind. I'll take up your offer, I'll join B-Komachi as an idol."

-End of Magic Words

Even before you joined B-Komachi, you knew that training to be an idol would be hard work. However, you didn't expect it to be this hard. Maybe it's a lot more different in this body than your old one. You aren't an energetic 12 year old anymore. Was all this cardio really worth it?

You stop to catch your breath with your hand on the stone wall next to you. 'Why did I accept her offer' kept running in and out of your brain as your face turned red with adrenalin. Pieyon shouted for you to keep going as you were way behind the other three girls. Biting your tongue, you made it on top of the hill before flopping to the floor in front of Kana and Ruby. All this running puts way too much pressure on your little deformed rotten heart.

"Are you okay, [name- [alias]?" Ruby asked, putting a hand out for you to grab.

"Ruby! Why are you saying that? You're the one with asthma!!" Kana sighed, helping Ruby lift you back up from the ground. Ruby comments with a 'But I'm not the one dying!' as you stare at the sky above.

"Keep it up, [alias]! It's only been 30 minutes-ish!" Memcho laughed, patting your back and handing you a sticker covered water bottle. "Well actually it's closer to 25, but y'know~"

"What do you mean it's only been 30 minutes??!" You whine, pulling your mask off to the side of your head to breathe in fresh air for the first time. "I feel like I'm dying!! There's no fucking way I'm going to be able to do this on a stage.."

"Language!" Ruby shouted, "No idol would ever drop an f-bomb without getting criticized, we really need to work on that." She took a sip from her water bottle, it was glittery and pink. An Ai charm was attached to the lid. "And put your mask back on!!"

You groaned as you slapped the mask back on your face. *You had to go to the amusement park later with your friends... would they even let you go? You weren't even that good at dancing either. Idol work just isn't meant for you. You fall butt first onto the floor as you shut your eyes. B-Komachi II is already going downhill. Speaking of downhill, that was your next goal. Running downhill back to the studio with your new friends and Pieyon. Again, you were behind them, but it wasn't as bad as the run up.

When the apartment was reached, you felt the cool breeze of sweet air conditioning on your skin. You sat down on one of the brightly colored sofas Strawberry Studios owned.

"No sitting down just yet! We have to work on our muscles! And also learn choreography, some marketing stuff using videos, probably some more cardio, oh wait, not to mention editing the videos–" Ruby continued to go on for a few more minutes as you caught your breath, again.

The dancing sucked, especially learning it all from a not so high quality video. There wasn't anyone to train you besides Pieyon and the Ai fanatic: Ruby. She was a lot better than you were, so was Kana. Memcho was also better than you, but the gap between the two of you was a lot smaller than your gap with the two self proclaimed idols.

You wonder where Aqua is.

As hours went by, your training for day one was finished. You were with the girls, sitting in a room with walls made of mirrors as they packed up their stuff and made some small talk with each other.

"Here's what's funny: we did this whole work out thing with Pieyon to promote B-Komachi! It was sooo hard, we had to do, like, actual punches and stuff for a whole hour!" Ruby burst out laughing, but quickly stopped to think, "I just don't understand kids these days, why do they find buff guys working out so entertaining? Whatever, we'll have to make them fall in love with us!~"

"If they're all going to fall for us, then we're going to have to make a name for ourselves as idols. For example: Who's going to be the face of the new B-Komachi?!" Memcho says, putting her pointer finger to her lip.

"So a leader?" Kana asked, shifting her eyes to look at Mem.

"Yeah! A leader! I say that I should be the leader because I'm the one with the most experience using social media and with uh– nevermind that part. That's totally [alias]."

"No thanks, I'm not up for being the face of this whole group thing, I can't be the face. I don't even have one." You joke, "But I'm being serious, I don't think it would do us any good by having me be the leader. Plus, I don't think I'm really... marketable."

"I totally understand that." Ruby says, putting a hand on your shoulder and smiling, "We won't pressure you any further– but since we're on this topic... I nominate myself to be the leader of B-Komachi because I resemble Ai the most. Plus, I was the reason we made this whole group in the first place, y'know? So I think that the title should go to me."

"Well you aren't going down without a fight!" Memcho shouts, pouncing towards Ruby. They got in a cat fight as you look over to Kana.

"What about you? You haven't said anything yet. Any thoughts on who the leader should be?"

"Hm? Oh well... no comment." Kana sighs, "This is dumb, why don't we just get a random number generator online and just like... I don't know. Ruby is even and Memcho is odds, and whatever number gets chosen the person gets the win?"

"No Kana! That's a horrible idea!" Ruby shouts, "Being an idol is all about talent! Memcho, I challenge you to a singing contest in the karaoke bar down the street! Whoever gets the better score gets to becomes leader!"

"Oho, child? You dare challenge me? Respect your elders, Rubytan!" Mem laughs, you can't tell if it's at her self deprecating joke or at Ruby for challenging her. Mem pointed her finger at Ruby with a silly looking grin plastered across her lips.

"Yeah? You wanna go? Let's go!! C'mon!" Ruby runs out the door with Mem closely behind her.

"What about you Kana, are you gonna go with them?" You ask.

"No, probably not. I'm going to head home now. It's getting dark anyway. Bye [alias]." Kana left before you could say bye to her. From a distance you could hear her saying bye to Pieyon as well.

You're alone in the room as you sit in a corner and scroll through the apps on your phone. It's always the same thing again and again, art of you, food, videos of babies, art of the newest anime, true crime, the latest controversies, paparazzi photos of Akane, and school stuff on your separate account. It's all so much, maybe you should post something soon...

*Shit.

You run down stairs quickly only to find Pieyon taking his mask off. A pretty blonde head of hair popped out of the mask as he set it down. It was Aqua under there the whole time!

Oh.

Oh???

"Oh. Hi [name]." Aqua said, his face was sweaty and gross. That's what a mask does to someone, doesn't it? "I forgot you were still here."

"Eww!! I hate that, put your mask back on." You whine, covering Aqua's face with your hand from a distance, "I can't believe you did that stupid voice! You're such a loser!!" You laugh, "And I can't believe that you were the one to make me run all of that stupid shit!!!" You groan, flicking his forehead.

"You said you wanted to become an idol, this is how you do it." Aqua says softly, looking over at you. His hand was over his forehead. "Can I take your mask off?"

"Well if it's you then it's whatever." You sigh, his hand slipped your mask off carefully, grazing his fingers– barely touching your actual face before setting it down onto the table before you. You flinch at his touch and make a face before reverting back to your normal self. "I don't think I like this whole idol thing right now."

"Really? Why?"

"I want to say that I'm loving this whole setup, but I like it when group activities are like... how do I say this, I wish that I could be friends with all of them. And I know that the time will come, but as of now it just feels really uncomfortable. Like Ruby is obsessed with me for some reason, Kana just doesn't seem to like me that much, and Mem is– well actually nothing is wrong with Mem, she's cool."

"That's a lot." Aqua sighs, "Do you want me to talk to them about it or something?"

"No. That'll make me sound like a loser. Instead, I'll just... I'll just chill out or something, I'm sure that it'll be fine. Idol work is hard work, so I'll push through like the rest of them☆"

"Make sure that you take breaks though, you know it isn't going to be good for you if you don't." Aqua says, he puts his hand on your right arm in a gentle way. You backup a little with a smile across your lips.

"And how would you know that? ☆It's not like my heart's going to explode or something." You take your arm back from him as you say, giving him a look.

"Do you really know that?" Aqua asks, "It doesn't have a high chance of happening, but I'm sure someone like you with a genetic heart defect would take precautions, no?"

"..." You were taken aback that he remembered something so invaluable in everyday life about you, but you were grateful to some extent that he did, "What does it mean to you anyway? You aren't some sort of doctor or something! You're just a kid you like idols– and it's not like you're gonna give me a break from any exercises!!"

"True, maybe I'll need to train your heart more than the others, yeah? You and Ruby."

"That is so... stupid!! Aqua you aren't going to make me do anything."

"But that's how you can be a good idol, don't you want to make your fans happy?" He said menacingly, it's almost as if he was trying to test you.

"I already make my fans happy! In fact, just because I joined this group means that I can't stream or– or make any content for them all to consume!! [alias] is falling off right now!"

"Chill out, it's only been like one day." Aqua murmurs.

"One day is a lot!! But like... I guess it's fine. I can still try to make music and they'll eat it up..."

"I'm sure Matsuyo would be upset. He's a real big [alias] fan." He states sarcastically.

"And you aren't? Your sister seems to like me a lot!" You reply sarcastically to his comment as you cross your arms.

"I'm more of a [name] fan."

"..." Your face turned red as you bit your lip to not say anything else that he could counter and make you even more flustered- embarrassed. Yeah, embarrassed.

"...Weren't you supposed to go to the amusement park with Eruru today?"

"Oh shit! I totally forgot!! Okay, yeah. Thanks Aqua!!" You yell, running off to meet your friends. So that's why you came down here, you can't believe that you forgot about it so quickly. The time is 7:39 you're already 19 minutes late. You mentally beat yourself up as you call an uber your way to ride over to Wonderland, Eruru's place. You hurriedly type up a text to both Matsuyo and Eruru filled with apologies and lies on what you were doing before this.

You cover your face with your hands in the car ride as you think about what just happened. Did Aqua really need to say that? Did he even mean it or was he just trying to get high ground? Or was he just trying to catch your off guard? His words kept repeating in your head. That's it: you'll never let your guard drop around him. Hopefully.

˚⋆୨ ✶ ୧⋆˚

On Sunday, you and the girls met back at the studio. The silence was somewhat awkward. Kana was on her phone, trying her best to not think of anything related to B-Komachi it seems, Ruby and Memcho were looking back and forth at each other, whispering in each others ears every now and then while giggling, and you were staring at all three of them with an awkward smile plastered across your face. At some point, you started staring out at space.

Thankfully it wasn't for long because Ruby quickly broke the silence with Memcho at her side. "Okay! We decided who the leader should be." She smiled while Mem gave her the thumbs up. "It's going to be..."

"Kana Arima!" Mem and Ruby both shout out, pointing their fingers at the surprised girl. Her jaw was dropped, and so was the phone she was previously holding.

"WHAT??" Kana shouted, "There is NO way I'm going to be a leader for this... rookie group! It would make me look bad! And it's not like I'm like Mem and [alias], they all have a backup plan! I'm just some... erm... I don't have an agency or- or a fanbase that I could crawl back to if this whole plan falls backwards! This is just totally not going to work out in my favor! There's no way! Nononono, everythingisgoingtofailandand... What happened to you wanting to be the leader, Ruby?!"

"Well while we were out at karaoke, we saw some songs that had your name in it!" Ruby said, pointing to a picture on her phone.

"And then we searched it up on YouTube! And we saw such cute videos of your singing songs and some of them were actually pretty recent. Kana, you have such a great voice! So much better than me and Ruby!" Memcho says, clicking on one of the videos on Ruby's phone. The song started playing and before it got to a part where you could get a good listen to Kana's voice, Kana jumped and slapped the phone off of Ruby's hand.

"No! D-Don't listen to crap like that!!!" Kana screamed, "I- I thought I told you guys that I didn't want to be the leader!! Didn't I?"

"You did? I don't remember you saying anything like that~~"

"Noo!! I can't be the leader, I know nothing about being an idol! I never even liked idols to begin with, I think they're all phony and fake for keeping up an act all the time!"

"Hey! Don't disrespect other idols, we could get canceled for that you know! And you put on acts all the time, you're an actor. That's your job!" Ruby shouted back, picking up her phone from the floor and dusting it off.

"If it means anything, I think you're the most experienced out of all of us, Kana." You say, putting your hand on Kana's shoulder, "And I know this is all unexpected, but we all believe in you. You can do this!☆ You've been on a stage before, we haven't! If anyone, I think that it should go to you. We're all learning how to be idols after all." Kana looks at you with a smile as she takes a deep breath.

"And if you mess up, we'll be right behind you to pick you back up!" Ruby said, her left eye shined brightly, it almost outshined you!

"That's so totally right!" Mem agreed, nodding her head back and forth, "You'll be a terrific leader, and if anyone disagrees they'll have to answer to my fists!"

"I... I guess I could try being a leader. If I'm good enough, I'll be able to push the spotlight on you guys. Th-Thanks." Kana's smile drops as she closes her eyes. She said something that only you could hear, "If I'm good enough, or... if I'm the best leader then he'll be cheering for me. I'll be a bright star that he can look up to."

Kana likes someone? You didn't expect that, but you internally agree with her. Even if you do hate most things about being an idol, you wouldn't let B-Komachi crumble down. Hanae wouldn't like that, so neither would you.

-End of Looking So Gentle