swish swish, bitch

“but do you really think Biden is better than–” YES YOU STUPID FUCKS, YES, I REALLY REALLY THINK THAT A MARGINALLY LEFT-WING  MOSTLY LAW-ABIDING ADMINISTRATION IS A BETTER OPTION THAN KEEPING THE CURRENT OPENLY CRIMINAL FASCIST ORGANIZATION IN POWER. YES I THINK AN INEPT BUT SLIGHTLY PROGRESSIVE EXECUTIVE BRANCH IS A BETTER OPTION THAN THE ADMINISTRATION THAT IS ACTIVELY MURDERING ITS CITIZENS WITH COVID, KIDNAPPING PROTESTERS, COMMITTING ELECTION FRAUD ON A MASSIVE SCALE, LOCKING CHILDREN IN CAGES, DESTROYING LIVES AND LITERALLY BRINGING BACK NAZIS. YES I REALLY DO THINK THERE IS A DIFFERENCE SHUT UP SHUT UP STOP TELLING PEOPLE NOT TO VOTE YOU STUPID STUPID FUCKS YOU ARE LITERALLY SIGNING US UP FOR 4 MORE YEARS OF TRUMP SHUUUUUUUUT UUUUPPP!!!!!

imagine you're anthony bourdain getting invited by maxim de winter to his beautiful estate in manderley to record an upcoming Food Network special. you have a michelin star level meal and then maxim starts ranting about some woman named rebecca and how this bitch ruined his life through her manipulative gorilla grip pussy and baby trapping. maxim starts crying when you point out a hole in his bullshit story and then mrs. danvers, the housekeeper who has been creepin in the corner this whole time, levitates off the ground and yells "HE SAID NO PICKLES" before you get a sudden flashback to when you were 20 years old in a stank ass apartment, offering to suck mrs. danvers' cock to stop the telekinetic torture she's inflicting on your body for trying to fuck mr. de winter while high on drugs. well something really similar happened to my grandpa daniel molloy

dev patel really said "i support trans ppls rights....... trans ppls rights to kill bigots with guns and metal pipes and chairs and cool knives'' anyway watch monkey man

the beauty of tumblr’s retrochronological dash is that when you come back online, if the first post you see is “okay im normal now” you know you’re about to witness the most spectacular meltdown a mutual has ever had in recent memory, followed by the impetus that trigger the entire event