if jason grace were to have a 'normal' job as an adult, what would it be?
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if jason grace were to have a 'normal' job as an adult, what would it be?

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WHY MUST I BE PUNISHED!?
I have been scrolling NON STOP FOR THE PAST 40 MIN AND ALL I FIND IS SMUT
All I want to do is read some angst or other wholesome stuff AND NOT SMUT. Can I just for once enjoy crying in heartacke and not see a smut warning.
ARE YOU GUYS REALLY THAT HORNY!?!?š¦š
if jason grace were to have a 'normal' job as an adult, what would it be?
Hear me out: really charismatic small town weatherman.
HANDSOME WEATHER REPORTER JASON THAT EVERYONE HAS A CRUSH ON IS MY ROMAN EMPIRE
YEAHHH
the storm clouds recede, and the sun rises anew
Jason: hey replacement, im going to visit talia in the league i need you to be red hood while im gone
Tim: why me?
Jason: you were my replacement robin, why not red hood? also i know aswell as you that younwlukd make an excellent crime lord
Tim: your still like twice my size tho
Jason: you subbed in for bruce, you can sub in for me
jason returns to find his crime empire running more efficiently and his goons incredibly freaked out as to why he was acting so mych colder and more calculating for a weak

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ok no actually the funniest way Talia should be shamed for having a one night stand with Jason during his league days is if Damian finds out and refuses to stop referring to Jason as āstep-fatherā.
Damian: i request more training with step-father to improve my blade wielding abilities.
Jason, looking up and blinking: wait is that me?
Jason:
Jason: cool.
Jason, turning to Talia: i donāt mind training my step-son.
Talia:
Talia: he isnāt your step-son.
Damian: yes i am.
Talia: Damian, no. he canāt be your father. heās seventeen.
Damian: oh and thatās an issue is it?
Talia:
Damian:
Jason: *grinning in delight at the family drama*
-later, upon Damianās arrival in Gotham-
Bruce: and these are your brothers,
Damian: ah yes, i am aware of them.
Damian, nodding at the batkids: Grayson, Drake,
Damian, turning to Jason: step-father,
Jason, solemnly: step-son. good to see you again.
Bruce, having a heart attack: imsorryexcusemewhatnow-?
pov: youāre scrolling trying to find a cute little fluffy fanfic to read but everything you get is smutĀ
no smut hate, i just want to giggle :(
POV : you have been scrolling for the past hour and all you see is SMUT
Please...life is lot more than fuckingšš»
Take a picture, it will last longer
I giggled doing this hehe

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Bruce truly hates magic with every pump and beat of his heart.
What kinda curse is Slang, anyway?
āThis is the best day of my life.ā
āYou thought you ate that.ā Bruce physically feels a full body shiver, charged with nausea and cringe. āThis is level 10 cringe. Canāt have shit in Gotham.ā
Dick is his earth bound angel, but he laughs like a demon at him, holding onto Jason for support, pledging his eternal loyalty to Zatana and her pettiness.
ā
āHey, old bat, hook me up with an adrenaline shot.ā
What he wants to say is Jay, do not try and fight with 6 bullets in your stomach.
What comes out instead, through Bruceās grit teeth and intense, fierce glaring, āNot you trying to go back to your corpse era. See how I only took 2 shots? Very demure. Very mindful.ā
Jason passes out from blood loss, but mostly laughter.
ā
āChat, is this real?ā
Stephanie barely bites back a full belly cackle. āI think he just asked us if we copied.ā
āI wish I was Jason, 15.ā
ā
āThis is not a slay environment. Killing is flop behavior.ā He keeps his eyes shut and buries his face in his hands. Trying to convince Damian not to stab someone doesnāt seem to work.
Damian gives him a pat like heās a pitiful cat. āIāll only stab the non lethal areas.ā
āGod, I wish that were me.ā
This comes back to bite them all in the ass when the curse wears off but Bruce still remembers. While he's back to business as Batman, when he's Brucie ...
And that's how Bruce wound up as a judge on RuPaul's Drag Race.
man, i hate it when ppl portray dick as a guy who cheats and sleeps around spreading stds
Jason: *icing cake he baked* Tim: oh, cool. Can I take a picture? Thatās really pretty. Jason: uh, sure? Why? Tim: to post it on insta. Jason: *stops icing cake* whatās insta? Tim: Tim: *look of slowly dawning horror* you died. Oh my god you diedā Jason: *muttering* I thought we already acknowledged that. You know, quite explosively acknowledged it Tim: *completely speaking over him* DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT A SNAPCHAT IS? FUCKā Jason: dude youāre hyperventilating
Bruce Wayne is definitely that father. The father who buys stuff in bulk the second he hears his kids like it. You open the pantry the day after you mention around Bruce you like any kind of food, and thatās the only thing you see for the next five months.
Tim snacking on something he found in the foyer, working on a case while needing a nap, seeing Bruce enter: mh..
Bruce seeing him: hm?
Tim holding up the snack: Mhm.
Bruce: hmmā¦
Tim the next day, freshly awake from a 10 hour long coma nap, entering the foyer: WHAT THE FUCK?!
Said snack being the only thing on the first 10 shelves.
Bruce walking by: I went shopping.
kicking a hornets nest.

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there was a misunderstanding when Jason came back to life but only bcs he decided that he didnāt want to deal with Bruce and all his shit right then so he made a turn on the way to Gotham and decided to start off small by reuniting with Dick in Bludhaven instead. work his way up.
issue is Dickās been hallucinating Jason for the past 6 months. not even in a particularly sad way, just in a āmy little brother mocks me from the corners of the room daily and i canāt even do anything about it bcs heās DEADā way. every time he calls hallucination-Jason an asshole the little prick says āok but you didnāt come to my funeralā and thereās really no good response to that. so when ALIVE Jason shows up in his apartment and in an emotionally constipated attempt to soften the blow of āim not dead, surprise!ā decides to just act casual and brotherly without any big displays or anything, Dick⦠responds in kind.
Jason: oh thank fuck weāre on the same page. no need for crying or annoying long conversations we can just work on. getting used to being a family again. this is ideal.
Dick: hey the asshole hallucination grew up. my subconscious is getting really creative.
Jason stays at Dickās place for the next few weeks and they both settle into a comfortable cohabitation in which one brother is really relieved that he can focus on calming the Lazarus rage and being a younger brother without any over-emotional displays he isnāt comfortable with, and the other does not know he is living with a real life other person. itās honestly the most theyāve ever gotten along before.
the realisation only hits when Jason wakes Dick up at 3 in the morning because he couldnāt sleep and made bbq ribs and wanted to know if he wanted any, and Dick in his barely conscious state was like āfuck yeah, hallucination ribs i can TASTE!ā and then the next morning he wakes up with sticky fingers and sauce all over his sheets and the dishes they ate off cleaned and put back in the cupboard, and Dick makes the connection of like. there is no way on earth his half asleep mind would even CONSIDER cleaning up the cutlery after eating. but Jason 100% would. which means Jason cleaned up last night. which means the ribs were real and so was he. which means-
holy fucking shit his brotherās alive
Bruce is not impressed when after the eventual big family reunion he asks Dick why the fuck he didnāt tell anybody else that Jason was alive and Dick goes bright red before mumbling āwell he didnāt want to share his food until week four of living with meā¦.ā
Mainly because Iām Batman.
thatās a lie i would rather die than lose my kids