black magic

This is exactly what I said. Minus the Kesha part.. We’re too pretty to die, aren’t we? 

I definitely do not deserve to die young. I’m way too pretty plus I’ve been writing some amazing new songs and the world deserves to hear them, honestly.

“Yeah, man. I need a shit —- C’mon, you’ll know I’ll pay for it.. When have I ever let —-…. Now, that’s just rude. Okay, so tomorrow at midnight? Yeah, great. I’ll see… — ‘Kay, he hung up. The bas — uh, hi, can I help you?”

“Oh I’m sorry. Was I occupying space too closely to you,” Venus asked with a slight snap to their tone, annoyed at the sudden acknowledgement. They had just wanted to get to the nearest record store and look at the new arrivals and now someone was getting snippy with them. Venus glared at the person who had just commented. “No, I think I know how to get to the record store in my hometown. But thanks.”

Well, we’re entering the second week of August already so we might as well admit summer doesn’t last forever. Pumpkin spice lattes are the best, honestly, I don’t know how my inner teenage white girl survives the summer months without it. Hah, wow, well aren’t you sweet.

Oh, that’s fair enough. Summer fades, hair colors fade, seasons change but people don’t... sorry quick Fall Out Boy ref there. And I don’t know how I survived either but I have been sucking down those S’Mores frappes. Hope they have them every summer now because it’s a suitable replacement for the Pumpkin Spice. Oh, you know. Must be all the frappes I drink that make me super sweet.

“New mother? Oh no, I’m just babysitting, he is not mine” She smiles as she shooks her head “Tommy, his name is Tommy and if you want sugar come inside, I will put him in his chair and I will give you the sugar”

Venus’s eyes went wide and they nodded as they reached up to ruffle their hair. “Oh! Oh, I didn’t know! Tell the parent that their child is so cute then,” Venus said. They nodded as they stepped into the place, rubbing the back of their neck. “So how often do you babysit Tommy here?”

I liked the idea of moving home. It’s closer to a lot of things that I need and it worked out easier for me to move home than to stay where I was in Nashville. But the whole packing things up–that wasn’t what I wanted to do.

Yeah, I think that’s the big difference here though. My dad got sick so I would’ve felt guilty staying on the east coast so I just packed up. Like... I didn’t exactly want to leave... but I also didn’t want to... you know? Sorry, that’s a lot to unload but... I mean... it’s like, you sort of are like, maybe I should go home and be closer to what I should be close to.

“Don’t knock so loudly! Anyways what do you need?

Oh my God, I am... so sorry. I didn’t realize I was disturbing a new mother at all. I was just... I just needed to borrow a cup of sugar because I was making a cake and... what’s the kid’s name? I’m so sorry, but the kid is just too cute!

Oh my God, no, you’re not babbling. If you were then at least I get you because that’s totally what I was thinking. I feel like packing and unpacking are two of the most dreadful things in the whole world. Like for anything, really. Because who wants to lug a suitcase full of crap with them, then you get wherever you go and you have to take all that crap out? Who wants that? 

Oh, I totally am. I almost always end up babbling, and it’s a bit ridiculous, honestly. Hey, at least you get me! It’d be awful if I was just talking for the sake of talking. And uh, I don’t think anyone does! But at least the home I was moving into here was so beautiful. I had missed home way too much - it’s quieter here, y’know!

How about we not focus on that fact that summer is almost over and instead on the idea that pumpkin spice latte season is almost upon us?

What! There is no way that summer is almost over. But I mean... I do like pumpkin spice lattes. So, so good. I mean, I’ve missed them a lot but at the same time I still am also gonna miss summer. Oh man, I’m rambling again. It’s what I tend to do around very attractive people.

Oh, don’t mind me. I’m just hanging around.

Oh my God, how did that even happen? Do you need any help there?

I went to Disney World yesterday, met Snow White, then saw her later at a bar. I woke up with her naked next to me in my bed, passed out. When you wish upon a star…

Oh my God, you slept with Snow White? What? How the hell does that happen? I feel there’s a really good story here that you aren’t telling, mister. And I wanna hear it!

“I think it’d be cool to be a singer just for the music videos. I mean Great Big Storm looks like it would’ve been fun to be in. Or even Kids In The Dark, that looks like it’d be fun with the glowing paint party thing they had going on.

Okay, being a singer actually is pretty cool. But I mean, the music video for Kids In The Dark basically looks like a giant party and I’ve always been a big fan of fun looking videos. But I also really love the whole concept videos, y’know? Like, what Lady Gaga used to do. She used to make such great concept videos and it’s like... I’ve always wanted it back to be honest.

“Do you think bugs like ants and little beetles know just how small they are? Like to them, we’re damn giants, man. But we’re not giants, we’re tiny in comparison to the Earth. The Earth is very very tiny in comparison to the universe, so that makes us even smaller. And that makes the bugs even smaller.”

Okay, I have been around a lot of trippy people but this is without a doubt the most trippiest question I have ever been asked. I think bugs might be aware they’re small since we’re somewhat aware of how big the universe is. But we can’t comprehend how truly big it is, honestly. Like, we think we know but we honestly don’t know how big it is. And that’s the trippy part, you know?

There’s nothing I love more than waking up to the neighbor’s dog barking at six in the morning. What a fabulous start to the weekend.

Oh but dogs are so cute! Do you know what kind of dog they have? Do you think they’ll let me pet their dog?

Do people actually egg other peoples houses? Is that an actual thing that happens? Oh wait, yeah, it is. Guess how I know? Maybe it was the splat I heard on my bedroom window this morning at four a.m.! Who would do this?? My room smells like egg salad..

I always thought that was something Hollywood made up! I always was like, who on Earth would be so disrespectful to someone else’s property to do that? I am so sorry about that, darling. I could help you clean up the egg smell. If there’s one thing I know how to do, it’s get the smell of food that’s been thrown at you out of anything. And I do mean anything. Don’t ask how I know.

I’m the type of person to put their feet up in a scary movie in fear that something is going to grab my them.

Okay, but I am absolutely the same. I don’t know what it is about horror films, but it always leaves this unsettling feeling that I’m going to die young. And I’m like... I’m not Kesha. i do not want to die young.

Oliver: i think i left my wallet there last night, it must have fallen out my pants or something

Oliver: wait.. is this even the right number wtf

Venus: I'm sorry?