im 25. please leave me alone.

im sssopoooo jealous of buffy im ngl like how can i compete with ur nemesis .......

writing ts is the most cringe i thing ive ever felt in my life but also its good to have a hobby and i like organizing my thoughts like this

ok im currently up in my google doc trying to plan my spike fan fiction but i keep running into all these issues planning out the plot 😭😭😭 and on one hand its no rush (since u cant rush these thjngs even if u want to) but i worry ill never really come to good answer n remain stuck w hundreds of timelines swimming around in mu brain where im fucking on that fuck ass vampire

its 1:05am i should be trying to make my 2 remaining brain cells dress up like me and spike and dry hump each other and instead im on the toilet DIAHREA POOPING MY ASS OUT

mys stummies hurts sos badsssssssss

i think im bein flirted with by someone who has confessed to having feelings in the past but they live in california 😩 which isnt a problem for me because i want to move to southern california SO BAD but idk like....they arent very psychically attractive to me. theyve said some things that have made my heart kind of flutter so o went to his ig to see of maybe id changed my mind and the answr was not really #sad but hes a man and its not uncommon for men to be uglier on camera than irl ? something tells me thts not happening here tho. also i inherently dont trust him because hes a man. also biggest thing is even if he was cute in pics to me i strongly believe u dunno if u have feelings for someone unless u have met (in real life)

ughhh i wish i could either a. find a good evil spike fic or 2. be better/more fullfulled at writing my own... or better yet i wish my thoughts were a little more ceherent so i could just have a fleshed out fantasy again

we need a support group for evil spike girls where we can exchange fan fiction and talk about how much we love evil spike

this is getting EMBARASSING

even tho obviouslyyy they wouldnt look like that