Venoshock

I'd need to check my Pokedex to know exactly how many, but I'm pretty sure it was over 240. And I do find myself wondering about the rest of my pokémon. Obviously. If they're anything like my current team, I'm sure my other mains are worried sick about where their Trainer has gone off too... But I'm sure they're living a good life on the research ranch outside Violet City (where all my Pokémon are teleported when I exceed six in my party).

Because I'm not a pokémon! Well, er, I am a pokémon in body, but not in mind. The thought of being trapped and confined in one of those things for any amount of time terrifies me. It isn't something I was ever supposed to experience.  

“But Chandler,” you’re probably thinking, “didn’t you spend a large part of your life capturing pokémon in these balls? Didn’t you capture all the pokémon you currently surround yourself with, including your mate?” Yes. Yes, I most certainly did. And you’d better believe I have mixed thoughts about that now that I’ve really gotten to know them as people and not just my battling team. They don’t seem to hold anything against me, as pokémon seem respectful and obedient of trainers who catch and raise them so long as they do it right (which I must have done since they’ve stuck by me). My brain does not operate the same way theirs do, and just thinking about being captured, whether by my own hand or, worse, some random trainer who happens upon me out in the woods… It would be losing my last shred of humanity.  

Interacting with wild pokemon has been an interesting part of this journey. A lot of them are more intelligent than I ever imagined when I was a trainer (no offense, team).

I've been working on my English and have made some progress... but, yeah, it's difficult. My mouth and tongue aren't as suited for it as they used to be (obviously). Still, I think I could hold a basic conversation. Nothing good enough to convince someone I was anything but a Pokemon who picked up a neat trick, but I could do it.

I don’t know. I answer most text messages, but they really want to talk on the phone and keep asking for a video chat, send a picture, show them I’m okay, and I… what am I supposed to do? I can’t send them a selfie, ‘Sup, fam, I’m a salazzle now.’ And I’ve exhausted all the selfies I had taken pre-transformation, so I can’t fake that everything’s hunky dory either. 

[Chandler picks up her 11th generation Pokégear+ and flips through some of the months’ old messages. After a moment of reading, she sighs and sets the Pokégear down, attention returning to the question on her laptop.]

I could go on and on about all the things I miss about being a human, but, when you cut it down to the biggest hole in my heart:  I miss my family. Mom, Dad, little brother… Without them, it’s like there’s something missing from my soul. 

I sent them letters early on full of lies about how everything was okay, but it’s been over a year since I sent the last one. They must be worried sick about me, letting their imaginations run wild pondering what sort of trouble I’ve gotten myself into (the truth is crazier than anything they can imagine). I’d give anything to talk with them again. Let them know that, hey, my situation’s pretty weird, but I’m doing well. They probably wouldn’t understand how I could possibly have come to accept losing my humanity, but I’d mean every word of it. I want them to know their child has found some peace in this mess of a situation she found herself in. I want so badly to feel their arms around me and hear that they still love me...  [Chandler sniffs and wipes her eyes.]

Phew. Uh... that was pretty heavy. Let’s move onto the fun part of the question!

Being able to control fire is pretty freaking cool once you get the hang of it. I haven’t had as much use for my venom, since I’m not keen on poisoning anyone, but it’d probably come in handy if I ever get into a nasty pinch. Seeing how my pheromones can influence males can also be fun, although I’m not great at controlling them... So, uh, yeah! Cool stuff...