VeniVidiVici Blog

I’ve always liked to analyze. I like observing and love inferring stuff based on known facts and current scenarios. One thing that I did find new is to apply the same behavior and see things on a third perspective-- and aim to mainly assess myself and how my mannerisms and quirks affect my environment. Like am I being too toxic? annoying? helpful ? kind etc

Ever heard of Myers-Briggs? It’s a personality test that mainly determines your behavior. It tells you whether you are introvert or extrovert, more of thinking or more of emotional etc. Somehow the only non-tangible and non-living thing that probably gets you. Back then I was considered the introvert-thinking type (i forgot the exact result). Ok so growing up I never knew how to interact with people. I was incredibly shy and have never probably used my mouth up until I was forced to open it to take my first communion. 

Looking back, I can’t really tell then if it was easy or not. Like though I wasnt bullied or anything, I never also had a solid clique or crazy kid experience back then. I didn’t play much games (on console or outdoor games), I didn’t collect anything, I didn’t get myself dirty or hurt my knees, or broke a tooth, or anything that a normal child would have done. That was the sad part I think. It’s mainly just going day to day without any takeaways. I was sustaining life with the love my mom gives me and the apathy i have with almost everything. Everything went so smoothly.

Then college came and I met a few people. More and more I reached out. I was drinking a lot and hanging out. Cut a few classes here and there. For the first time in my life I felt differently about myself. I became more bold. I can walk up to people and just you know talk. and introduce and ask and do anything my mind sets to. It was fun. I definitely enjoyed most of the company I was receiving. I enjoyed talking about stuff like relationships, dumb stuff, research, acads whatever. At this point I was extrovert - emotional... the complete opposite of my childhood.

Red Velvet recently made a comeback with a mini album called “Russian Roulette”. I’ve been listening to the Red Velvet since their debut but Ive never really paid attention to them as a group. However since hearing Russian Roulette while watching an Irene fancam of it on youtube, i’ve become an instant RV stan! hehee you’ll understand when you hear the song, or you know, see Irene...

So over this weekend I’ve been rummaging the entire web, watching all RV affiliated shows, radio guesting and live performances; and along the course of completely wasting my weekend, I ran into a show where they guested this year-- Knowing Brothers. It’s relatively new. Up until now they’ve only aired 50+ episodes i think? And yeah so getting back, RV guested on this show on its 21st and 29th ep. Ep 21 with all of them except Irene and then coming to see what she missed out, Ep 29 with Irene along with SHINee’s Jonghyun.

Before getting to the main point of this long piece, I’d like to say that it is my first time to watch a Korean var show that’s fully dominated by men. (yes havent exactly watched a Running man ep yet.. but seen clips of it) Usually their var shows is composed of mostly men, but with 1 or 2 comedian actresses, so yea this one’s new to me. Knowing bros is basically these dudes in school uniforms having gags and outrageous fun with their guests.

In ep 21, they had a special segment where they isolated everyone to have a meaningful counseling session for RV. Each member of RV gets to choose who they want to sit down with and have a talk to tell about their troubles and worries.

Overall, there was a common theme that I noticed with their concerns. Each one had a different version but their problems boiled down to the stress theyre getting from wanting to please other people. I htink most of us has seen this coming. All entertainers can be a subject of torment from basically everyone alive and has internet. Fame is such a prize most people look up to, but it’s weight is incredibly hard to bear.

Much less imagine a young and raw girl group facing to this challenge. And it’s not just that actually. These girls have been training for most of their lives. They had to juggle school and training to keep up with kpop standards. Their lives went on a wormhole and blew past the age of character building block (which can make all these worries probably more bearable), all for the career they dream of.

With the girls’ lives being an open book for the public to scrutinize, it’s hard not to feel stressed and have a change in perspective. Joy had a 180 degree moment, wherein she was no longer finding singing as fun as it used to be. Yeri and Wendy became particular about their faults, which made them overly unhappy and confused. These are basically what millenials are all facing, but on a colossal scale.

Yea and so it was an incredible gesture for me, for Knowing Bros to have this segment for a relatively new group. Kyunghoon and Youngchul was exceptionally helpful to RV. It’s probably best that you watch it.

http://kshow123.net/show/knowing-brother/episode-21.html

Counseling segment starts around 34:00. Would’ve been nice if Irene was part of that ep. Im very curious if she’s having similar problems with taeyeon.

..okay that was such a long piece for a Knowing Brother link... which is completely unrelated to the title since Irene isnt even in the ep. In all honesty i just wanted to post something about russian roulette and Rv since i’ve been staning them hard since last two days ago. :))

Anyhoo, since you were expecting some Bae Joohyun...

A while back a friend of mine suggested to me this highly notable book about making friends. He said that it’s really helped him to grow and network with people a lot easier.

I think it’s great. I read a lot of self help books and i feel glad whenever i hear people doing the same.

I was beginning to worry i guess, because whenever people ask me what kind of books i read, i always get this sort of sad looks-- like im a hopeless dude in such dire need of help. The notion of reading self help books has become so avoided that it came to a point of taboo for some. It is the breaking point of concession.

In a way I sort of get it. I mean, I had the same look before. I always thought that it was sort of pretentious, to act the way these people in these books are. For example, in ‘making friends’ books, they tell you to speak this way or how to react in different situations. I, for one, grew up in a Catholic school, and learning the values of simplicity and truthfulness, we are asked to always be ourselves. For me It’s counter intuitive. I was taught that if I continue to act like others and not be myself, then i can never be truly fulfilled and happy.

Don’t get me wrong, these are hard and good lessons to live by. I still carry these values with me all the time. However in this world and age, i think it’s time to accept that not everything will be as we perceive it to be. Not everyone can be a widely successful entrepreneur or an incredible actor or a creative inventor of some sort. It’s a hard hump to get over to, but in this world we live in, somebody has to take the mediocre job: someone has to do the laundry, and someone has to wash cars. Over time, our world has been set up this way, and sadly, there’s absolutely no point of return. Maybe a positive way to write this is that we lift each other up? lol

And so, we have to cope-- probably with doses of pretension (yes i believe it’s necessary) and going out of your comfort zone as well. The point im trying to make across here is that while this world sucks on the outside, it is more dreadful on the inside. Lol Im kidding. Point is, we may not see the world now as we see it 5 or 10 years ago. Our dreams before may have been shaped differently over time, but that doesn’t mean that life is all that bad. For the most part, i think that getting the essentials is important. Getting an education, a job, and whatever to fill in those basic things Maslow indicated in the fifth level of happiness is important. So do whatever it takes to have that.

This is why I love self help books. These are some sort of cheat codes for me. The people in here are masters that have gained a complete understanding of how a certain field or sector works. It should provide us with a framework to work in. We don't necessarily have tread everything by the dot, but sort of walk in the same way. So if you don’t like your job, or you have friends you don’t like but sort of need to connect in a professional way, then read stuff on how to get through of that.

We don’t have to endure the things we don’t enjoy (but sort of need). After all, these basic stuff Maslow had in mind brings us closer to higher levels of happiness. Our jobs might be something like a part time thing we don’t enjoy, but if the time we save allows us to go to party or a cock fight at night (which is want you’ve been dreaming of in life, btw), then it is probably okay; You might feel like a corporate slave, but if the salary you earn helps you to go on a weekly hike or travel, then it is probably okay.

I think that we have to erase this delusion that life is all wonderful and good. The media probably have a lot to do with it, by perpetuating that the people in TV are always happy and always doing awesome stuff. Maybe this is why people get so hung up at times and get depressed-- because watching the same amount of euphoria these artists show makes us feel bad about our lives. This is why i love documentaries or reality show at times, because it humanizes these idols.

Serious or stupid, ill give it 100%. Go enjoy your youth properly.

Social media has given us the opportunity to fake our identity to please other people, or to prject what we want others to see us. Messengers and sms drives fake conversations to say what people wanna hear or to make ourselves seem the better person we deem/want to be.

And the biggest lie of it all-- and this is beyond all of what technology has brought us--- is fucking saying that we want all these righteous stuff while having the biggest fandom of the opposite.

In a world where 7 billion people coexist. A world where celebrities and professionals and innovators and leaders are respected. A time where parents are celebrated for being modern day heroes. This moment where people from all around pave ways to make this place better.

Beneath all of these is you.

IIt’s sad how we can get all caught up with what’s going on presently in life-- especially when that stuff ain’t pleasant. We go on and on and on about how sucky we look and try to beg life to move a lot forward, leaving behind this ugly problem we’re faced with.

Life is short and life is both ugly and pretty. But at some point we just have to deal with it. There are times where admittedly, i was so done with this and just wanted to end everything. THere are times where you tihnk-- it isnt going to be better; where even though you tried your best; some things you have no control over. It sucks i know.

But yeah, finally, i think we can’t get too emotional about it. Ultimately life isnt about suffering or making you cry all the time. It’s important to be able to look beyond what’s here and see whats out there still. We have to look beyond... or else life isnt worth living. I hope there will come a time where we can just calm down and think-- think about what we have and how we can create a bigger role for ourselves to contribute to bigger things. We cant be selfish and think that Life is something we can just throw away when we feel like it isnt worth.

We hold more value than we think...we can be a lot more. We are not defined by the problems, by the shortcomings or whatever we lack.. Rather We are defined by what we have and how we make use of it. And i hope someday we can all realize that.

We all have that friend who thinks he knows everything there is to know about life. Just so we’re on the same page, we’ll call him Ted. Ted’s a so called “expert”—that whatever your problem may be, he quickly understands, nods with great confidence…then checks into his drawer, finds your problem into one of his tabs, pulls out the divine file and voila, an absolute phrase destined to instantaneously shut your piehole.

Little does Ted know that these files are probably as outdated as his first Friendster testimonial. Yet he continues to amble on this life carrying his oversized ego instead of letting go of some of these burned out clichés that probably should be buried together with LeBron’s Miami Heat Jersey.  

  1. Don’t Cry Over Spilt Milk

We have always been told to shut it when we’re making qualms about something that’s already happened. Definitely a clincher, don’t you think? However, as accurate as this cliché may be, it is definitely a no-no to say to somebody who’s already set on destroying your day by complaining how they’ve lost electricity for 3 hours during the peak of Storm Glenda.

Yes, I’d like a bottle of whine please

Why? Because believe it or not, people actually need to grieve. People have their own lengths in coping with their own problems. During this time, what they need is not a dismissing backhand slap of truth but rather a consoling and understanding presence of someone.

With this, the cliché is already a lost cause. The hope of producing a lively smile out of it is all but a vain wish.

2. Plenty of Fish in the Sea

The mecca of clichés when it comes to breakups, this cliché has been used way more often than our pedestrian lanes. It is typical to expect it from usual romantic films and high school dramas. All it’s saying is, we have an abundance in options. This is explicitly exemplified by our toughest love warriors today: John Mayer, Taylor Swift and of course our very own, Kris Aquino.

Oh after you picked up my dry clean, can you also buy me a new lover?

Now you might be thinking, with all these stars as our perfect example, Plenty of Fish in the Sea is still proven effective and hasn’t really lost its impact. Well while that may be true, we can’t deny the fact that it somehow we use this as a euphemism to hide the truth. When we breakup with someone, we cry not because we can’t find another lover but rather we lost an inimitable partner. As abundant as the school of fish in this world may be, each and every individual is unique. We cannot replace those Asians with Americans-- people will notice the imploding average weight, one way or another.

3. Don’t Judge a Book by its Cover

The only reason I’m including this in my list is because racism and discrimination has become a fecund practice, it makes this cliché an obsolete phrase (much like in my last sentence). Don’t judge a book by its cover is like one of those lost, ancient fossils geologists take years to find in remote deserts. It’s so forgotten ninjas are actually in pursuit of learning its art.

Oh wait I’m lost

Ok that’s enough horsing around. What I’ve been meaning to say since the last paragraph is that this cliché is one of those things that is imprinted in our minds but never really used. Like the oversized shirts our aunts keep buying us during Christmas when we were kids. “Don’t judge a book by its cover” is something we’ve had since kids-- we’ve all took note of it, and yet it’s always at the back of our minds concealed with all bitchin things we do.

Now you must be wondering, if the concept is that clear and rampant, then why does discrimination and stereotyping exists? In my opinion, I think it has something to do with how people function. The world is filled with many demands. In turn, we slowly became people that are quick to operate. The Internet is continuously evolving to unimaginable speeds, cars are now built with increased HP’s, and even escalators are now quipped with faster motors. The end result—we, as people, have become used to this standard of living. We always seek detours. We want everything done in an instant or else we get paranoid. Everything became fast-forward. I think this habit made people to be dismissing and just stick with the stereotypes. Or sometimes, we get the better of ourselves and say:

“yeah.. by the look on your face I know that you’re an ass wiper”

Or sometimes we just don’t want to mess with our routines. We’re so engrossed at living that whenever we come into something unusual, we just say the first thing that pops into our head.

It’s pretty logical if you think about it. Here’s a simple example. Imagine yourself taking the train to accompany your kid to school. Then you see an old guy with bloodshot eyes and wispy hair along the way. Your kid, being the angel of curiosity, stops and looks at the guy. You, on the other hand, is about to be late for work so you tell your kid that the guy is a convict just so you can move on with your life. Not knowing that this seemingly harmless lie already implants an idea to your kid.

Anyway, as we can already see, stereotyping is never a stable concept—in fact, it proliferates. It spreads like a wildfire, gaining new 12 year olds to join their cult of condescending jerks that would later on master the art of being a jerkface. I’m sure a lot of parents are still reminding kids to not be judgemental while teachers are still using children’s book with the same idea but you see, gaining the knowledge is never enough. What people need nowadays is practice. Practice hard until we can fucking remove all the fucking bad habits in our system.

4. Good Things Come to Those Who Wait

Okay. I have to be honest. I hate this cliché with all my guts. I am even willing to cut somebody else’s guts and implant it into mine to show how massive my hate for this cliché is. Life is an everyday learning experience. Utterly waiting is not living. Here’s a tip: try going out, try talking to your crush, try studying for that board exam, travel, kiss your mom.

Try everything life has to offer.

Just don’t imitate this fool

Ted, you are the epitome of resilience, passion and love. I will never grow tired of learning from you, watching your wheel of a life and seeing you keep it real.