THE ADVENTURE ZONE SENTENCE MEME
Part 3 - Murder on the Rockport Limited
Possible Spoilers, change pronouns, etc as needed
“I kinda like his style.”
“Kind of a shitty wizard.”
“My whole body is a weapon.”
“That was pretty fucking radical.”
“Do y’all wanna get paid or nah?”
“Give me your crunchiest potion.”
“Did I say how old I was last time?”
“Sorry, I had a pretty bad initiative roll.”
“Jokes on you, I can’t think very good.”
“Um. I won’t do that. I’m very, very tired.”
“Is this our - is this our quarterly review?”
“I hate to keep salting your game, Daddy.”
“Are you gonna fire us out of the cannon?”
“Listen, kid, I’m not a magic worker, okay?”
“Why are you, why is it whisper time now?”
“ I’ve heard of you. You are of the god kind.”
“My grandpa forgot his name. He’s very old.”
“We’re doing good adventurer, bad adventurer.”
“I’d like to sit on your lap. Maybe steer a little bit.”
“Wait, are we doing good cop, bad cop, mom cop?”
“Are you sure that- this sounds like a wizard’s spell.”
“We are absolutely going to fire you out of a cannon.”
“You don’t have 45 minutes. At most, I can give you 4.”
“How could you possibly seen through my perfect crime?”
“Hey, listen, we all have droughts kid. Don’t feel too bad.”
“Guys? Guys? That was our first moment of competence.”
“This is gonna come back and bite us in the ass, I know it.”
“We want you to step in front of the next train that comes by.”
“Good day to you, thank you for having me on your choo choo.”
“If only you had used one of your spell slots to defend yourself!”
“The memory of my grandpa’s name died long before I was born.”
“What are the names that aren’t fake that you guys actually have?”
“I love your caution, and I love just how suspicious you’re all being.”
“ It’s basically like a big ol’ neopolitan ice cream sandwich of dudes.”
“So, is it like a magic word, or like a whistle? Is there a bell somewhere?”
“You look like some sort of weird shit monster who is just caked in swamp.”
“First off, that’s a trademark violation, second it doesn’t even make any sense!”
“What am I going to do, burn one of my daily spell slots on making an axe levitate?”
“You got your dick out and your whole naked body out while she was talking to you?”
“Listen guys, we just blasted a giant crab, I think we’re past the point of fake names.”
“Is there somebody around us who just looks like, helpful or maybe is wearing armor?”
“How about except for me, we’re much bigger than you and we can thump your gourd.”
“His murder came at an opportune time. He’d done everything he wanted to with his life.”
“This is your quarterly review. Compared to last time, 100% year-over-year improvement.”
“Ok, I mean, I did detective good enough to see through your horseshit, so I can’t be too bad.”
“She’s way cooler than you are. Like, way way way cooler. And just sort of better at everything?”
“I started changing when you started telling your story about murdering somebody or something.”
“One of them is a stout dwarven woman with the largest muscles you’ve ever seen on a living person.”
“How about I’m a little boy who knows you’re lying, and I can yell and yell and yell, and get you in lots of trouble.”
“They watched solemnly as an assassin came in a buried a knife in his heart. It was what he would have wanted.”
“Don’t shhh, it’s a secret mission. Shh shh shh shhhh. We’ll see you down there. Wink! Wink! You’re a cool dude.”
“That train is a little too extreme for most people. It doesn’t even go on rails, it just sort of- they just sort of off-road it.”
“Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize life on the rails was so demanding you had to have pyrotechnics at your fingertips twenty-four sev’.”
“I’m very proud of the three of you. You’ve been much more competent than anybody on earth would have ever thought.”
“I’ll give ya a sampler of, it’s called my hair of the dog potion. It won’t attract dogs, as much as it will just get you real fucked up.”
“Hey listen, I couldn’t find any coffee but they had these little Andes mints. Here, have a couple of those and then answer the nice men.”
“It’s not nearly as salacious as I made it sound. It’s just when I say things with my voice, it always sounds like I’m talking about slow sex.”
“Yeah, and if you fail this, I’ll kill you. You’ll suffer. Listen baby, risk and reward! If you do it, it’ll be fucking rad! If you don’t do it, you’ll die.”
“We actually need extra pillows. I sleep with a pillow between my knees and between my elbows and behind my head and under my feet.”
“I’m done. Have a good day. Let me know if you need anything, but don’t expect a quick response. No, of course it will be a quick response.”
“This is gonna sound phony, but we don’t know who we can trust. Look at us, we’re 3 grown men trusting a baby with secrets, we’re not professionals.”
“I’m really glad that you are exactly who you say you are, because if you were doing some sort of ruse right now, it’d be very, very poorly constructed.”
“Yes, a witch kissed me and cursed me so that anytime anyone yells a secret word, I have to attend to their every need, and that word is my fucking name.”
“Before you go, I just need to grab your weapons from you. These will also be locked up in the vault and we will be returning them to you as soon as we reach our final destination.”
“Can I just say something? And this might sound weird. But I think you are exactly who you’re telling me you are. And I don’t know- again, it seems like a weird thing to say, but I am… just so charmed by you.”
“So we’re gonna do this now, huh? We’re gonna air this right now? I need to build myself a fucking exosuit of pillows, and I’m not like, proud of it. Like, yeah, I’m embarrassed about it, and it makes trips with my family a living hell.”
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