I Who Bend the Tall Grasses

what you experience is hyperfixation, which is pathological. what I experience is psychosexual obsession， which is also pathological, but in a darkly chic and subversive way. thank you for understanding.

humiliating to be attracted to a conventionally attractive person. I thought I was a more sensitive and refined pervert than this

if you were my stitched-flesh champion i would hang you from the ceiling by thorny chains terminating in cruel hooks during maintenance like some kind of shibari automobile and i would take scalpel and pliers and a dozen little leaden needles to fix extra muscles under your skin and i would carefully lay basins beneath you to catch drips of the oily rusty sludge that sluggishly courses through your veins in lieu of blood. and when i etched bleak antilanguage runes down your spine or across your chest the candles of my necrochirurgical theatre would gutter and flare with agitated tongues of violet and citrine, chartreuse and greasy ashen grey. and it would be good, and you would be good, and in your usefulness to me you would be good.