The Veil War

So my estimate of the amount of time I’d have available to devote to writing was sadly typical in that it was wildly over-optimistic. Work projects ramped up far more than expected. The bathroom exploded (not literally, thank God) and I had to replace the toilet, install cabinets, replace the drain pump in the washer, and generally flail as effectively as possible at the problem. I’m helping #1…

I held the wheelie for a long moment and dropped down. I tapped the front brake and let the rear of the bike spin round. I leaned hard left, my knee just inches from the pavement. Time slowed, like it does. I saw the boss mustache’s eyes widen with surprise. He hit the brakes, too hard. He flew over the handlebars and his bike cartwheeled after him. I laid the bike down. The pavement ate…

Half an hour later my right hand ached from signing releases and waivers. Mr. Smithers escorted me out of his office and back to a cozy, decent-sized game room. The focal point of the room was a pool table made of marble, rich wood, gold and pearl inlay, and for all I knew green felt made out of baby seal fur. There, shooting balls into the right corner pocket with monotonic regularity was the…

I didn’t forget about you. I was busy, enjoying the most enduring traditions of the season in the warm embrace of kith and kin. Since you had to await the completion of my holiday festivities, your present is a double dose of Subcommandante Mumbles. I hope you all had as wonderful a Christmas as I did, and best wishes for the new year. It certainly has had an exciting start.

I tore out of my cosy, cardboard, under-the-overpass estate, absorbing the buffeting from the rough terrain with my legs. I cut off a Ford Taurus and accelerated southwards on Dallas Ave. A chill wind cut into my face. “Where’s the party?” I yelled. Everything gone to shit just as I expected. I wait for days, in a box, and the fuckhead gets hisself capped less than five minutes after he pokes…

Three weeks earlier I walked up to a nondescript building in downtown Pittsburgh. I was still buzzing from three weeks in the Aegean Sea, burning through a platinum-hued credit card and Australian coeds. I checked the signboard on the wall in the lobby, but between shady-sounding accountants and shady-sounding law firms there was nothing that seemed remotely like anything that Tactical Beardman…

I smelled something sharp and rancid. The kind of smell you’d expect to find in the folds of a fat, meth-addicted garlic aficionado who hadn’t bathed in a decade. “You got a quarter?” You’ve gotta be shitting me. Not again, I thought. Peeking into my box was the haggard, skeletal face of Quarterman. “Fuck off, Quarterman,” I hissed. “N… N…” he explained. “Quarter?” Jesus Lapdancing Christ.…

It’s strange to think that the Veil War started almost fifteen years ago. Any time a decade and a half goes by, you expect to see some change. But it feels like the pace of change is accelerating, and the world has moved on from those antediluvian times of 2011. Of less world-historical importance, a lot has changed for me, too. Why exactly did more than a decade pass without any new stories…

Seeing as I never made much money off selling Episode 1 of the story, I’ve re-published all the original Mumbles posts so you can read them here. You can scroll down to the bottom of the page and find a category archive for Subcommandante Mumbles, or click here and you can find all the Mumbles goodness you can have, even if it’s not all that you want.

I ran outta gas. I had a flat tire. I didn’t have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn’t come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from outta town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake, a terrible flood, locusts. It wasn’t my fault! So I just barely managed to skate a new post in before a full decade had elapsed. This is, I suppose, both good and bad. Episode 2 of the…

I lifted up the lid of my box. The Martin Luther King, Jr. East Busway overpass blocked most of the sun and my hangover thanked the bridge for its kindness. My hangover was less pleased with the un-muffled choppers roaring past on N Dallas Ave. I had a nice box, originally home for a Frigidaire Model DGUS2645LF Stainless Side-by-Side Refrigerator. A nice fridge by all accounts, and the…

Downloaded, for reasons I cannot explain, a new desktop blogging app. It’s called Desk, and so far seems… very nice. The other blogging tools for the Mac look like they were designed in the 90s, so this has that over them. Ecto and MarsEdit support Drupal blogs, but they seem to be the only ones. And I couldn’t get them to hook up to a Drupal blog. A quick google search revealed almost no mac…

I’ve been seriously busy of late, with work and family of course – but I have not been neglecting the Veil War. That work has not been visible here, alas for you, but it is happening.

So what has been happening?

The story of Captain Lewis and his merry men is divided into three parts. Part one, up to the meeting with the crusaders, has been thoroughly re-written with much new material and…

Tactical Suitcase Raptor

What is it?

Tactical Suitcase Raptors are the latest in Raptor Warfare technology. Think of them…

Our long, national nightmare is over. The job is dead, long live the job – I have left the land of four hour daily commutes and will soon enter the sunlit uplands of more-or-less reasonable commutes and bounteous telecommuting.

What does this mean to me,…

After a long absence, here are some brief updates on things:

#2 son is larger, more alert, and more mobile than he was last time I posted about him. Given that he was only hours old the first time, this should not be surprising.

Editing on the Veil War…

A new Gustav

My second son and fifth child was born this morning:

Joseph Samuel is a healthy nine pounds and…