just squiddy

i hate when memes become outdated and i have to deprogram myself from referencing them anymore. whenever my mouth says “this is so sad” my brain immediately follows it up with “alexa play despacito” but i’m not ALLOWED to say that anymore

Is it better or worse if I tell y'all that “Nüsse” means “nuts”

Dicke means Fat or Thick

this post only gets worse

super dickman’s thick nuts

Isnt this from that one Brandon Rogers video

you know what? fuck this “last legal fingers in his ass sunday” bullshit. after the 17th i’ll keep posting fingers in his ass sunday like a criminal and if mr tumblr wants to stop me he’ll have to break into my fucking house and kill me himself

straight girl: *sees literally any guy with a lisp* 😳 guys… my Gaydar®™©…. is tingling. 😩🖖 i have the best Gay senses. 🤔 i have the power ✊ to see 🕵🏻 right through the Gay’s thick 👥 external straight™ layers and into their ⭐️gay⭐️ soul. 👁 i am one with the gay community. 🙌👬 I can feel their kind in my bones🙏 …. A gay psychic🔮…. If u will…… 👀

After a gay guy says another “masculine” guy is gay. Straight girl: You are just hoping. 😒Trust me, my Gaydar®™ is amazing💅 I visited NYC/San Francisco once 👬👬 You just wish he was gay because you want him 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨if he were gay 🌈 I would ✨know✨besides, one time, we met eyes 🌜🌛 and let me tell you, 💁 he wants me 😘

Stereotyping straights are we?

Yeah bc they won’t stop murdering us so we unwind from the stress with some light humour

me @ my future wife: wow babe! i love you even more than naruto!!

unrealistic i could never lie to my wife like that

sasuke could

The best thing about this is the word “were”…she can’t let you forget she has MULTIPLE houses

BUTTBUTTINATIONS.

people acting like diversity is inherently a political statement or sjw bullshit are so fucking stupid like… thats just how the world is. its almost like the real world is diverse and that its unnatural for media to not reflect this… like these people literally get mad about female protagonists, gay protagonists or protagonists of color bc its “political correctness gone too far” like idk how to explain to you that poc, lgbt people and women existing isnt political correctness its just life dude

But sir this is my emotional support hateful slur

i’m gonna make a movie where two normal ladies fall in love. everything’s chill, no age gap, they’re both out of the closet, their families love them, everything’s fine. the catch is that one lady has a cat and the other lady never figured out what the cat’s name was cause the Owner Lesbian ALWAYS uses a dumb nickname and now it’s been three years and they’re getting married and it’s too late to just ask

remy from ratatouille be like *creates gay rights*