Bluh

Sorry, this is slightly nsfw 🫨

"I'm fine"

"I am having a conscious experience"

"My brain is so pink and human and is living inside of meninges and cerebrospinal fluid; there is not a silicone pod full of saline inside of my skull"

"I am a real human with a sense of ego and not several thousand roach brain wired into a nervous system where the cortices should be, shallowly imitateing hominid behavior but unable to form a subjective impression of itself"

@salticid​ you’re amazing and I love ur cryptic spambot convo I hope u like this!!

Anyone with a name that starts with a “Z”, ends with an “i”, and isn’t some kind of Italian pasta, IS SERIOUS

Deck of many things.

Me

Every few seconds? Move your tongue an inch closer to your players nostrils.

Put a creepy clown on your player's dashboard and blame it on Tumblr

Implement jump scares with flashbangs

Try to gaslight your players into thinking that roleplaying games have never existed and what they're currently playing is a weird hockey match

Write your character sheet but the dots in the "i"s are all skulls.

Dress up in a cape and call yourself "Ebony Von Doomsucker". Ten million V:TM players can't be wrong!

Do your RPGs over the phone.

Start games abruptly, with no warning, in your players bedrooms, in the middle of the night.

Just hurl a dice in the woods for the cryptids to play with.

Do a spooky dance whenever a dice is rolled.

As soon as players sit down, inform them that there's no dice rolling today, instead we're all going to go around the circle and discuss all our deepest insecurities and personal failings.

im never drawing again

i wont show you what i did but believe me this is for the best, i have far too much power, and i have used it for evils. im quitting now before i can be corrupted further

im doing this to save everyone