fleur de lune

friend: you look stressed me: haha yeah it’s the stress

To those who worry you won’t be “you” anymore: You’ll be different, yes, but it’s a process of growing into the best version of yourself. You’ll stumble sometimes simply because some habit you developed to cope is now out of place, but you’ll be so much more able to pick yourself up again. And you will be who you were meant to be, without the distortion caused by illness. Be prepared for some grief for your old life, but don’t let that make you afraid to embrace the new one.

let me tell you a secret – sometimes i think this might all be a bad dream. every now and then, when the world is quiet enough, when the yellow light hits the ceiling just right, i feel like a child again. sometimes i wish i could find the spot where time is the weakest, touch it, tear it apart, and wake up on the sofa, behind my parents’ backs where i’ve crawled after some nightmare. from the tv, a laugh track. i’m pretending to sleep. it’s summer. see, the balcony door is ajar. see, there’s a mosquito trying to get in. see, my heart isn’t aching. see?

You pour and pour into other people’s cups. You give your all in order to be there for others and make them feel good, happy and loved. But you feel like no one is there for you. I know how that feels, my love. I know how harsh this world can be. I know that you always listen and give advice to other people but if you want to talk, no one seems to listen. I hear you. I can see how much you are hurting. Please remember that even though you feel that way, you are not alone. Somebody always cares. You matter so damn much. People tend to be so caught up in their own lives, with their own struggles, that they forget that you are hurting, too. That does not mean that you are not important. You are. Your struggles are valid and you do not have to conquer them alone. I am always here for you and I want you to know that I care. I love you very much. 

I thought my twenties would be a lot more exciting than me legitimately considering whether 4:30PM is too early to go to bed

By the time I actually experience mutual love/romance it’s going to send me into shock and fucking kill me