vampyre

come back to my place I’ve got relics bro

let me be pervertly clear

Are you all going to come online and play perverts or what

fuuuck I could use a mysterious benefactor right now

every time it rains i have the urge to say “well our plan to stand alone in a field with a metal rod is out” which no one ever recognizes is from phineas and ferb but usually kills anyway

auto immune disorders happen when the immune system ignores regulatory factors and begins attacking healthy bodily tissues, due to what scientists refer to as "sheer love of the game"

hey um. so sorry to tell you this, but op of that post plays toys kinda weird. yeah you should just block them, that's not how normal people play with toys

this is what shipping discourse sounds like to me

imagine u meet louis de pointe du lac at the club and u offer him a sip of ur white monster and he says No thanks I already have one of those

well if its for fucked up and horny reasons, then i guess its okay...

surgery is so intimate like what do you mean im gonna be naked and asleep on a table while surrounded by a group of people who are responsible for my very life. kind of sexual. i mean who said that

SMOKED SALMON IS THE ONLY THING THAT NUMBS THE PAIN