Thoughts & Life

sometimes you need to meet someone new to finally be able to move on.

you know when there's a part of you that is still holding on to something, it could be a tiny hope or even a gesture of someone that would make you think that maybe just maybe you will get back.

and because of that you are not really able to move on and meet someone new.

that is exactly what happened to me until a few days ago.

I shut myself off from any feelings because I was holding on to a tiny hope, when really I should just let it go and move on already.

finally when someone came along without a warning, suddenly I felt like I could finally and truly move on from that feeling.

I was able to let myself go and be completely open to meet and get to know this new person.

meeting this person has made me understand that I was finally able to feel something for someone new and not think about anything else.

so, if you are in that position where you are holding on but at the same time want to move on and someone shows up.

life is about taking risks and see what happens.

as I'm trying to figure out what will work for me, I have an opportunity right in front of me and my head is spinning with a bunch of questions.

will I be okay?

will I do good?

will I be able to handle everything that they're expecting me to do.

however, having all these questions won't help me make a decision.

I have to take a risk and see what happens plus I will eventually learn a lot from it.

sometimes, we are afraid to take a chance on ourselves and believe that we are capable of more than we know.

it helps when you surround yourself with people, who see the potential in you and will help you make a decision.

this all comes down to the famous quote:

¨You will never know, if you don't try¨

I guess, it is a bit scary to just jump into the ocean without actually knowing what's down there.

the process of interviews and hoping to finally land a job can be very stressful.

at first you may feel very excited because you feel like a lot of people are interested in what you're capable of.

later then, is when the uncertainty comes.

when you feel like nothing is actually happening even though you have been through a lot of interviews.

you feel like nothing is going to happen and you will be stuck in this loop of just interviews and not landing the job.

even though it may feel like that, you have to remind yourself that things happen for a reason and eventually you will get the job that is perfect for you.

some people have this picture of their perfect job but sometimes you have to go through a lot of things to actually have it.

even what you though was the perfect job for you ends up being a different one that you never really thought about.

this mantra is what keeps me grounded and at the same time hopeful, maybe it will help you too.

it works on literally anything.

after being 11 months away from home, being back feels like I never left.

I have to admit that when I saw my country outside the window of the plane I cried a little.

I cried because my mind felt at ease because I was finally back home after so many months being a continent away.

I feel very blessed that I am able to go back home.

a part of me will always be in Madrid because it became my second home.

being able to go back home will always be a blessing for me and I'm forever grateful.

you know how people tell you that in your 20's you're supposed to fuck up, learn, live and then in your 30's is when you actually start to get your shit together.

right now I feel like that is 100% accurate, I'm 26 and I feel like I'm at the time in which I can make a bunch of mistakes and still learn and see what I really want to do in life.

you don't need to have everything figured out at 25 because in reality no ones has it that way.

at first you feel like you HAVE TO get thing sorted and know about your life but at the end of the day your journey will always be different than other and there is no rush.

your life is yours and you will see as you grow what you really want and what you don't.

it's incredible how just only one phone call with that one person changes everything.

it can change your mood, your mind and even your heart.

it can even leave you with your feelings all over the place.

somehow it makes you feel reassured that this one person will listen to you and be there for you no matter what.

the fact that the call can even last an hour without even noticing it is amazing.

that feeling when you talk to your grandma and all the worries and troubles vanish.

the reassurance you get whenever you get to talk to them is something beyond this world.

sometimes you have to be patient with them because they might tell you something they already told you before.

when that happens, just act like it is the first time you are hearing it.

some people don't understand that feeling and that is also okay because we are all different.

to me I only have one left in this world and she means everything to me.

grandparents are very important because they see the world through different eyes than we do and that our parents do.

they have lived and they can tell you so many stories that you will never get tired of them.

they might not know exactly what you are going through because the time is different and things are not the same.

but they will have the answer to all your worries because of the life that they've lived.

watching movies that have a deeper meaning at the end of it are something else.

you think you know everything, but then you watch just one movie and you realize that you know nothing.

it leaves you thinking about your life and what you are doing with it.

it makes you think if you are really living at the fullest because we never know what tomorrow will bring.

movies like that I think are the best one's because they teach you something at the end of the day.

but also it's all about balance too.

you can do as many things as you want but make sure to also take care of yourself in the process.

I' m the kind of person that believes in angels and angel numbers too.

I feel like you see them whenever you need a signal or reaffirmation about something that you already knew.

today I just saw this number 999 which means: it's time to let go of what is no longer serving you.

part of me was actually waiting for that signal because I didn't know if it was supposed to stay where I am right now or to go back home.

it's incredible how much someone can accomplish in 4 years.

to me 4 years ago it seemed that I was not going to be able to move forward after losing my dad, but I did.

is not that I got over the loss but I got used to the feeling and because of that I was able to do many things.

like for example: moving to Spain to complete my studies.

to me that seemed too far away and kind of impossible too because of all the feelings that I was having at that moment.

now, I look back and I'm really happy that I was able to do it.

I had loved ones that helped me through it but in reality I was the one who pushed myself to keep on going.

and because of that I'm really proud of myself.

this one is for anyone who is having a hard time out there, you should know that you can do this and will get pass through the struggle that you are going through.

after a huge storm the sky clears up and you see the beautiful blue sky.

things happen for a reason, you may not know why at the moment but later on you will.

there's a song that's been going on inside my head a lot

it's about when will I find the love I've been jealous of, that's actually the name of the song too

needless to say, I'm a hopeless romantic that wants the kind of love that happens in the movies but also in real life.

all my life I've been that kind of person and as much as I want it, love has been hard for me.

sometimes it feels like (love) or at least that kind of love is not meant for me.

however, I know that time takes it's course and it will find me sooner or later.

some are going to stay for your whole life

others will come by like the seasons

others will pop up one day and just leave like that

most of the time you end up being friends with someone who you never though would be

however, saying goodbye to them is never easy. at least for the one's who pass by like the seasons

I started a journey almost 10 months ago and it has almost come to an end

an end in which I have to say goodbye or see you later, to friends that I have made along the way

I know some will stay for life and I know the one's who will simply go

you know when you have a plan and everything that you have done was based on that plan, and now that you've finally completed the plan you don't now what to do?

well, I'm currently in that position right now

my mind wonders about what is coming next in my life, now that I have completed what I planned for

a part of me knows what I will do but then, there's this uncertainty of what is expecting me and what will happen now that I don't have a plan at the moment.

I really don't know anything but there's one thing I do know, and that is that whatever is meant for me will come and find me.

you know when you are looking for a job and you just graduated from your master's degree and all the job positions that are related to your field are asking for 3+ years of experience.

well.. I'm in that position right now, in which I'm looking for a job related to the kind of work that I want to do, but have no experience whatsoever.

these things can be very stressful sometimes, but all I can do is just apply and wait and see what I can get.

the looking and the waiting part is the problem, but there's nothing much that we can do when it comes to this.

those moments in which a chapter in your life is coming to an end, just so a new one can start.

that feeling of accomplishment but also a feeling of sadness that the journey is over.

it's like finally graduating from college after a hard 4 years or like moving to a new country after wanting to for years.

those moments in which you feel good but at the same time a little bad, because it means and ending of an era or however you want to call it.

in those moments that are called bittersweet moments, sometimes you smile while you're crying because you have some kind of flashbacks of everything you've been through to get where you are.

it's life and it's beautiful

sometimes I want to just stop thinking for a moment. you know when you keep on thinking about someone and your mind won't stop wondering about that person?

well, I'm literally in that spot right now and I can't shut my head about it.

sure, what happened is not something for me to make a big deal of. yet, somehow my mind is spinning with thoughts that just keep going and going.

sadly, is not like I can know what that person is thinking about me. however, it has been a while since I've had my head going in circles.

there are times in which I don't think about the amount of money spent on things. all because I'm trying to live in the moment.

but then reality hits and it's like I can't handle it anymore and I stress about it.

then again I remember that currently I can't do much about and start living in the moment again.