when marya hornbacher said “how could i possibly love someone else when i couldn’t begin to conceive of showing them who i was?” and when maggie smith said “i carried my fear of the world as if it could protect me from the world” and when mitski said “you’re growing tired of me and all the things i don’t talk about” and when franz kafka said “i am fond of lovers but i cannot love, i am too far away, am banished” and when jamie varon said “fear kept me from a lot of things, but perhaps the most poignant was that it kept me from loving and opening myself to another person” and when clarice lispector said “i’m abandoning everything! everything! and that way i won’t be abandoned” and when taylor swift said “some things you just can’t speak about” and when butterscotch horseman said “i wanted you to respect me. i wanted you to love me. i was so afraid that you would know that” and when keith haring said “i am becoming very hard on the outside and even softer on the inside” and when fiona apple said “how can i ask anyone to love me when all i do is beg to be left alone?”