✧ // 𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐭.

taken from the gang of youths’ album of the same name. feel free to adapt as you wish.

❝ you're scaring us and all of us, some of us love you. it's not much but there's proof. ❞

❝ remember your virtue: redemption lies plainly in truth. ❞

❝ the self is not so weightless, nor whole and unbroken. ❞

❝ remember the pact of our youth. ❞

❝ where you go, I'm going, so jump and I'm jumping, since there is no me without you. ❞

❝ hurt and grieve but don't suffer alone. engage with the pain as a motive. ❞

❝ today of all days, see how the most dangerous thing is to love, how you will heal and you'll rise above. ❞

❝ you are absent of cause or excuse. ❞

❝ you crave the applause yet hate the attention— then miss it, your act is a ruse. ❞

❝ it's a pointless resistance for you. ❞

❝ [ name ], just put down the bottle. don't listen to what you've consumed. ❞

❝ and there may not be meaning, so find one and seize it. ❞

❝ feel your breath course frankly below and see life as a worthy opponent. ❞

❝ you want the acclaim, the mother of mothers, more poignant than fame or the taste of another. ❞

❝ you will not be more than a rat in the gutter. ❞

❝ you asked for my counsel, I gave you my thoughts. ❞

❝ can you hear me, [ name ] ? I'm talking to you ! ❞

❝ throw yourself into the unknown with pace and a fury defiant. clothe yourself in beauty untold and see life as a means to a triumph. ❞

❝ you'll rise above, crowned by an overture bold and beyond. ❞

❝ ah, it's more courageous to overcome. ❞

❝ I thought I had a real understanding then of loss but I didn't know a thing 'til you were gone. ❞

❝ I used to wanna be important, now I just wanna be alive and without fear. ❞

❝ it's okay to feel unbelievably lost. ❞

❝ you got to persevere. ❞

❝ I live hard 'cause I am scared that I won't mean anything. ❞

❝ you want someone to want you for who you are. ❞

❝ it's no secret that with matters of the heart, I'm irrational and rarely ever start. ❞

❝ the world's dark and often inhumane. ❞

❝ we all decided the best way to fight it was drink wine, dance here and pray and make love that lasts with a vengeance. ❞

❝ you can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave. ❞

❝ you wanted to fight for a cause— then go out and fall in love ! ❞

❝ don't stop believing in truth and grace in the grievance. ❞

❝ you give me a good reason to be heartsick again. to be here, to be strong. ❞

❝ I've been losing my way in the weirdest of moments and the stupidest of ways. ❞

❝ there will be no years of silence in the shadow of regret. I won't let it so betray me, though my soul got used to it. ❞

❝ I will look at love as more than just an instrument of pain. ❞

❝ I will not spend the years depleted of my willingness to try. it won't hurt this way forever, it ain't worth the overtime. ❞

❝ lay me down and kiss me deeply, show me everything I missed. ❞

❝ I let bad love betray me once. ❞

❝ I wanna be loved, I wanna be whole again. ❞

❝ and I just ask you to be patient if you'll have me still. ❞

❝ it's just a feeling of distance akin to a feeling of loss of love. ❞

❝ I am grieving the loss of myself with frightening malaise. ❞

❝ just stand in the darkness and laugh with your heel on its throat. ❞

❝ not everything means something, honey: so say the unsayable, say the most human of things. ❞

❝ if everything is temporary I will bear the unbearable, terrible triteness of being. ❞

❝ I'm not so assured nor unusually strong or outstandingly brave. ❞

❝ won't you fear me tonight ? ❞

❝ there's nothing that holy in loving like drunk kids love. ❞

❝ let's drink the best wine now, while we're strong and we are proud. ❞

❝ it's weird and unnerving, forsaking my old life now, 'cause this is a burden I can't seem to do without. ❞

❝ I wanna be nearer, I wanna be close behind. ❞

❝ our time is short. ❞

❝ I could almost take a whole life to disclose how I feel about the now. ❞

❝ but we've will to carry on, transcend with our scars and contusions. ❞

❝ I know how lame it sounds, but I'm glad I became more human. ❞

❝ do not let this one end before you emerge as the winner. ❞

❝ let me love with a vengeance. ❞ 

❝ you wanna feel absolved tonight. ❞    

❝ it's okay not to be so alright. but don't be alone. ❞ 

taken from the gang of youths’ album of the same name. feel free to adapt as you wish.

❝ we're at the stumbling phase of the midnight waltz. ❞

❝ hey, I'll miss you when you leave. ❞

❝ there are feelings that are strong and there are ones that are mixed. ❞

❝ I guess I got nothing to prove. ❞

❝ a weary heart, they say, it shatters it all. ❞

❝ it's bound to be much worse. ❞

❝ I feel it all and I never look back. ❞

❝ I waited on forever, but forever never came: just a latent sense of loyalty to the things I love in vain. ❞

❝ now I'm terrified of loving ‘cause I'm terrified of pain. ❞

❝ this is the sound of a soul in tune to a savage desire for a soul made new. ❞

❝ do I throw my hopes in the fire ? ❞

❝ can you still show me the way ? can you still show me a light ? ❞

❝ I was only a kid when I fell and you tossed me aside. ❞

❝ I wanna know if I'm heard and if I'm understood. ❞

❝ I'm not leaving tonight. ❞

❝ cram the armour and chains where the sun will not shine ! ❞

❝ get that thing out my face ! ❞

❝ I don't care what it says, this is my goddamned place. ❞

❝ a traitor to country and glad, 'cause my country's disgraced. ❞

❝ I'm not bleeding tonight. ❞

❝ you will close in on madness and madness is not civilized. ❞

❝ I'm not dumb and you people can't dick me around. ❞

❝ you can shake, you can cry, you can quake, you can rot in your sleep, you can shrug, you can weep, and I'll watch as you bleed. ❞

❝ I have come for my shit and I won't take less than that. ❞

❝ I will love you, but love not the powers you serve. ❞

❝ do not grow complacent and take less than what you deserve. ❞

❝ in the heart of redemption, there's some furious song. ❞

❝ the herd is no place for the brave and the strong, but I bear no contempt for the ones who just want to belong. ❞

❝ their eminence is fixed upon things we could burn in one go. ❞

❝ I don't know if I blame you for being so distant. ❞

❝ I'll always struggle to think of you in a harsh way. I know that it's weird but I still see you for the human beneath. ❞

❝ I wish that I was in love with your endless bullshit. ❞

❝ I'm getting used to the sleepless hours from sundown, the terrible dreams that lead me inward to terrible truths. ❞

❝ tell me how I can do this thing. tell me how I can help this thing go easily. ❞

❝ when did everything get this weird ? how the fuck did it start ? ❞

❝ did you ever believe in me ? was it always so hard ? ❞

❝ I deserve better than this. ❞

❝ so I have this dream, it comes like twice in a week. it's been so for years and years on repeat and since then I've not had a full night of sleep. ❞

❝ and it's strange, all the things that I've run from are the things that completeness could come from. ❞

❝ do not let this thing you got go to waste. do not let your heart be dismayed.  ❞

❝ do not let your spirit wane. ❞

❝ in love, I am careful to mostly reserved. ❞

❝ cut me out, take me home. ❞

❝ get the fuck out of your head if it says ‘ stay cold and be deathly afraid ‘. ❞

miscellaneous quotes from the first campaign of critical role. feel free to adapt as you wish.

❝ never attack the bedding before you know the thread count. ❞

❝ with great power comes great responsibility, shut up ! ❞

❝ we’ll be keeping your weapons, your armor, and, I believe, your pride. ❞

❝ I’m killing someone. hold, please. ❞

❝ I have no idea what's about to happen, but it has been a great pleasure to walk beside each and every one of you. ❞

❝ screw you, I want my final words with you to be indignant and irritated. ❞

❝ he smells like sandalwood, and dismissiveness. ❞

❝ dagger’s so sharp it could cut the sexual tension. ❞

❝ your soul is forfeit ! ❞

❝ your soul doesn’t need to be forfeit, [ name ]. ❞

❝ hello, I’d like to share the news of our lord and savior--- my axe in your face ! ❞

❝ you know I’m in love with you, right ? ❞

❝ which one of my ancestors did you just shame to death ? ❞

❝ you’re the face I saw when murder entered my heart. this is your doing. ❞

❝ I’ve killed two of those who have wronged me and nothing is better. nothing feels better, nothing is avenged. ❞

❝ do not go far from me. ❞

❝ secrets aren’t safe when [ name ] is around ! ❞

❝ your secret is safe with my indifference. ❞

❝ my heart is someone else’s. ❞

❝ I’d like to live long enough to be someone else. ❞

❝ I love you, [ name ]. I have for a long time. and I'm sorry for being me and that it took me this long to say it. ❞

❝ why won't you stay down and die with dignity ? ❞

❝ we don’t do anything with dignity. ❞

❝ what’s the best thing you’ve got ? that is, you know, within reason. ❞

❝ this is not over. it can’t be. we’ve done so much, and we have so much more to do, right ? this is--- this is not over. ❞

❝ don’t you move: go ahead and get your shuteye, and we’ll be back. ❞

❝ you can’t walk off in the middle of a game of hide-and-seek again. I’ve been in a barrel for an hour ! I fell asleep in there ! ❞

❝ what I offer you is the power to see this conflict through to its end. ❞

❝ you will be a bulwark of my power in cold flesh. walking between heartbeats. unstoppable. ❞

❝ you have such loneliness in your eyes. ❞

❝ she is my heart, and my judgement... and the future that I have chosen. ❞

❝ I thought for a second that... when we said goodbye it was the last time.❞

❝ only good people die. ❞

❝ I think the most free I’ve ever been is with you. ❞

❝ you see a bit of heartbreak in him. ❞

taken from the 1997 studio ghibli animated film. feel free to adapt as you wish.

❝ for those were the days of gods and of demons. ❞

❝ something’s there... [ name ], did you see it too ? ❞

❝ it isn’t human. ❞

❝ it’s some kind of demon ! ❞

❝ go back ! please, leave our village alone ! ❞

❝ disgusting little creatures. ❞

❝ soon all of you will feel my hate, and suffer as I have suffered. ❞

❝ I was prepared the very moment that I let my arrow fly. ❞

❝ is there no way we can stop it ? ❞

❝ you cannot alter your fate, [ name ]. however, you can rise to meet it, if you choose. ❞

❝ sometimes I think the gods are laughing at us. ❞

❝ you know I could never forget you. ❞

❝ a battle ? no, a massacre... ❞

❝ where did you learn to fight like that ? ❞

❝ what do you say we give ‘em a little demonstration of how fast we can run ? ❞

❝ to enter there is certain death. ❞

❝ easy there. you don’t want to make your injuries worse, do you ? ❞

❝ this place is magical... ❞

❝ you went white as a sheet all of a sudden... ❞

❝ save your sweet nothings for some other time. ❞

❝ hey ! you are not handsome, you are gorgeous ! ❞

❝ she’s not even afraid of the gods, that woman. ❞

❝ what do you plan to do ? what exactly are you here for ? ❞

❝ how much more hatred and pain do you think we need ? ❞

❝ I know what rage feels like, and grief, and helplessness... ❞

❝ the world is cursed, but still, you find reasons to keep living. ❞

❝ wait ! I don’t want to fight you ! ❞

❝ this is what hatred looks like ! this is what it does when it catches hold of you ! ❞

❝ you are beautiful. ❞

❝ the next time we meet, I will have to kill you. ❞

❝ you have fought valiantly and well. ❞

❝ respect ? what’s that ? we haven’t had any respect since the day we were born ! ❞

❝ the trees cry out as they die, but you cannot hear them. ❞

❝ stay here. I’ll come back for you. ❞

❝ everything started happening so fast. it was like a nightmare... ❞

❝ today we finish this. ❞

❝ what proof is there this isn’t a lie ? ❞

❝ lie ? don’t be ridiculous. what reason do I have to lie ? ❞

❝ I’m going to show you how to kill a god. ❞

❝ I’m sorry. I tried to stop it... ❞

❝ we are still alive, [ name ]. we’ll manage somehow. ❞

❝ well, I give up. you can’t win against fools ! ❞

taken from the 1995 movie adaptation. feel free to adapt as you wish.

❝ can the soul really be satisfied with such polite affections ? ❞

❝ to love is to burn, to be on fire. ❞

❝ pathetic, to die for love ? how can you say so ? what could be more glorious ? ❞

❝ I must assume that you like him in spite of his deficiencies. ❞

❝ I do not attempt to deny that I think... very highly of him, that I greatly esteem him. ❞

❝ use those insipid words again and I shall leave the room this instant. ❞

❝ is love a fancy or a feeling ? ❞

❝ unfortunately we cannot always rely on the heart to lead us in the most suitable direction. ❞

❝ there is something of great importance that I need to tell you. ❞

❝ I would not brook refusals. I am quite deaf to them ! ❞

❝ your feet are cold. ❞

❝ I think I have unearthed a secret ! ❞

❝ I cannot remember when we last had a songbird in the house. ❞

❝ you have no right to parade your ignorant assumptions--- ❞

❝ oh, are we never to have a moment’s peace ? ❞

❝ he said he’d come. why hasn’t he come ? ❞

❝ but he loves you, dearest, of that I am certain. ❞

❝ in such a situation it is perhaps better to use one’s head. ❞

❝ allow me to escort you home. ❞

❝ he lifted me as if I weighed no more than a dried leaf ! ❞

❝ time alone does not determine intimacy. ❞

❝ this place has a claim on my affections that none other can possibly share. ❞

❝ no, no, no--- this is madness ! this is dribbling, babbling madness ! ❞

❝ neither of us have anything to tell. I, because I conceal nothing and you, because you communicate nothing. ❞

❝ [ name ] is the most incapable of being selfish of anyone I ever saw. ❞

❝ how long have you known ? ❞

❝ always resignation and acceptance, always prudence and honor and duty. [ name ], where is your heart ? ❞

❝ what do you know of my heart ? ❞

❝ his behavior has proved him proud, in the best sense. ❞

❝ I wish you both very happy. ❞

❝ what can I do ? give me an occupation or I shall run mad. ❞

❝ I cannot--- I cannot do without you. please... I--- I have tried to bear everything else. I will try... beloved, do not leave me alone... ❞

❝ if his present regrets are half as painful as mine, he will suffer enough. ❞

❝ I convinced myself that you felt only friendship for me, and that it was my heart alone that I was risking. ❞

taken from dragon age origins. feel free to adapt as you wish.

❝ here I thought we were getting along so well. ❞

❝ I was going to name one of my children after you ! the grumpy one. ❞

❝ well, he’s not half as dead as he looks, is he ? ❞

❝ yes, swooping is... bad. ❞

❝ first it’s ‘ I like you ‘ but then ZAP, frog time ! ❞

❝ mercy ? I wouldn’t have expected that from you. ❞

❝ that’s what I’m here for ! to deliver unpleasant news and witty one-liners. ❞

❝ [ in a sing-song tone ] somebody has been drinking ! ❞

❝ you drink some blood, you choke on it and pass out. ❞

❝ I was just thinking about you ! isn’t that a marvelous coincidence ? ❞

❝ well, uh, try not to tell everyone how easily fooled I was ? ❞

❝ here’s the thing: being near you makes me crazy, but I can’t imagine being without you. not ever. ❞

❝ have I told you that I love you ? I did ? well, it won’t kill you to hear it again, will it ?❞

❝ now that the warm, fuzzy part of the day is over with, we can get back to the ritual dismemberments. ❞

❝ oh no, I’m babbling. maybe we should go--- let’s go ! let’s just go ! ❞

❝ that... was SO not what I meant. ❞

❝ well, look here, now who’s an idle gossip ? ❞

❝ there's nothing saying that a moron can't be cute and adorable. ❞

❝ I don't know if I should take you seriously... but you scare me sometimes. ❞

❝ I've never been very good at that. the steeling myself part. I find it better sometimes to just be a little weak. ❞

❝ yes, I'm that blind. I so totally did not see you ogling each other before. ❞

❝ some days I have trouble figuring out which boot goes on which foot. ❞

❝ it hurts my manly feelings, you know. all one of them. ❞

❝ I didn't say it was a good plan. ❞

❝ soooo, what would you do if someone told you that they loved you ? ❞

❝ can't you be more judgmental ? I'm trying to rant, here. ❞

❝ bad things happen when I lead. we get lost, people die, and the next thing you know I'm stranded somewhere without any pants. ❞

❝ I just would have screwed it up like I do everything else. but at least I would have cared. ❞

❝ now that I’ve handled that with my... usual deft brilliance, time to move on ! ❞

❝ ouch, now I’m wounded. look at me, bleeding all over the place. you are just not very nice, are you ? ❞

❝ I’ve come to... care for you. a great deal. ❞

taken from snapcube’s real-time fandub of sonic adventures 2. feel free to adapt as you wish.

❝ I’M BACK IN THE FUCKING BUILDING AGAIN ! ❞

❝ oh my god I’m SO SICK. ❞

❝ I’ve learned so much from his twitter. ❞

❝ I told you not to fuck my wife ! ❞

❝ and I did anyway. watchu gon’ do, binch ? ❞

❝ I am going to kill you— and THEN kill you again. ❞

❝ DRAMA DETECTED. BLOCKING ACCOUNT.  ❞

❝ I’m gonna log into your twitter and I’m gonna tell everyone what you said. ❞

❝ you fool. I have 70 alternative accounts ! you will never know my main ! ❞

❝ hey bitches what’s up. ❞

❝ you must be pretty shaken up about that. ❞

❝ well, it might upset you to know that I also fucked your wife. ❞

❝ and she had a diamond in her vagina ?! ❞

❝ I don’t have a character motive. ❞

❝ he has all the weed that you need. the gonja, the mary jane, mari-jamij. ❞

❝ ah, summer break. a time for leisure. ❞

❝ oh… what a man ! ❞

❝ get outta here, you thot ass bitch, you still owe me a hundred dollars ! ❞

❝ so you’ve been looking for me, huh ? ❞

❝ please, PLEASE rephrase. ❞

❝ there was penetration, [ name ]. ❞

❝ it’s about to be mt. fiji in this bitch ! ❞

❝ doesn’t it look wonderful, [ name ] ? ❞

❝ you get where I’m coming from, right ? ❞

❝ it belongs to me. ❞

❝ a sign of power, if you will. ❞

❝ well, ten years have passed and I feel the same way. ❞

❝ thank you for listening to my insane ramblings about peeing in a hot topic. ❞

❝ finally… a place to release myself. ❞

❝ what are you two fucking talking about ?! ❞

❝ because, y’know, what else do you do on a saturday night ? ❞

❝ I have come to make an announcement: [ name ] is a bitch ass motherfucker. ❞

❝ I’m making a callout post on twitter dot com. ❞

❝ look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. ❞

❝ he fucked my wife so I’m gonna fuck the earth ! ❞

❝ I’m pissing on the MOON ! ❞

❝ how do you like that, obama ?! ❞

❝ now get out of my fucking sight !  ❞

❝ ugh, what the fuck happened last night ? ❞

❝ we’re really worried about you. this is an intervention, we’re here to help you. ❞

❝ I would never say such a thing ! ❞

taken from snapcube’s real-time fandub of sonic adventures 2. feel free to adapt as you wish.

❝ this is the most logical course of action. ❞

❝ I’m gonna blow the walls offa this place ! ❞

❝ goin’ uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup ! ❞

❝ please, stop. ❞

❝ oh my god if you say ‘ please stop ‘ one more time, I’m going to PISS MY OWN ASS ! ❞

❝ wh--- how did you know my middle name ?! ❞

❝ I remember everything. ❞

❝ three years ! I’ve been in here for three years !  ❞

❝ your mother will be very disappointed. ❞

❝ GET OUT OF MY WAY ! EVERYONE MOVE ! ❞

❝ [ name ], I’m coming home, sweetie ! ❞

❝ I can’t wait to see her beautiful face ! ❞

❝ mh, I forgot my password account... ❞

❝ I am fUCKING PISSED OFF--- ❞

❝ I am hot topic. ❞

❝ why you got hot sauce on your head ? ❞

❝ I put hot sauce on everything, from twinkies to milk. ❞

❝ well honey, your mascara’s on fleek. ❞

❝ we gotta get the fuck outta here though because uh, the building is gonna explode. ❞

❝ RED STRIPES ? JET BOOTS ?! OH MY GOD. ❞

❝ don’t worry, I can fly. ❞

❝ this won’t be brought up ever again. ❞

❝ I’m going to blast you out of this dimension. ❞

❝ well, I’ll eat you right up, baby. ❞

❝ I’m going to have to destroy you immediately. ❞

❝ the password is ‘ eat my asshole ’ and my social security is 69. ❞

❝ join me by my side and we shall rule the earth together ! ❞

❝ I’m gonna go fuck your wife now. ❞

❝ WHAT ?! you are NOT ALLOWED to fuck my wife ! ❞

❝ ooooh, gottem ! ❞

❝ [ name ], what have you been tweeting about... ❞

❝ what the FUCK ? is that [ name ]’s DICK ?! ❞

❝ now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got more ladies to go bed with. ❞

❝ WHOOP WHOOP, THAT’S THE SOUND OF THE POLICE ! ❞

❝ it smells like garbage... covered in fire. ❞

❝ [ name ], you smelt it ! therefore, you are the one who dealt it ! ❞

❝ I can’t believe it... she betrayed me. ❞

❝ hey, give that ! that looks really scrumptious ! ❞

❝ what if I say pretty please with a cherry on top, covered in a banana sundae ? ❞

❝ I’m here to show you what ninten-can-do, and what za waruDON’T ! ❞

❝ that doesn’t even make any sense. ❞

taken from snapcube’s real-time fandub of sonic adventures 2. feel free to adapt as you wish.

❝ [ name ]. my long lost lover ! ❞

❝ wha--- hey, I told you not to bring that up anymore. ❞

❝ now stop it and let’s focus on business. ❞

❝ that’s like, the least best sims game. ❞

❝ how the fuck did we get to egypt !? ❞

❝ I don’t know, but I’m gonna punch it. ❞

❝ you are just very aggressive and you lash out when you are confused. ❞

❝ I’m gonna go in there first and you guys back me up, okay ? ❞

❝ stop speaking witch. ❞

❝ heyyyyy bitcheeeeeeeeees ! didn’t expect to see me ? ❞

❝ I’ve had enough. you took my wife. you fucked my crops. ❞

❝ can you explain to me how you fucked crops ? ❞

❝ I didn’t wanna have to explain that to you, [ name ] ! I didn’t wanna ! ❞

❝ now you’re scarred for life and I’m gonna have to take you to therapy. ❞

❝ I think I need to melt now. ❞

❝ after you explained how to fuck plants I think I’m a veggie. ❞

❝ I didn’t expect that to be exactly how you explained it. ❞

❝ but now I’m wondering, why the fuck would you do that ? ❞

❝ well, it’s a personal choice and I thank you not to judge me for it. ❞

❝ we are not opening up that can of worms. ❞

❝ so wait--- I have to put the what in the what now ? ❞

❝ I don’t know how the fuck I’m breathing to be honest. ❞

❝ so do you want to like, go get coffee later ? ❞

❝ I’m sorry, did you not consent to me saving your life !? ❞

❝ I’m super high right now. ❞

❝ weed... ❞

❝ yeah. weed. just for you. ❞

❝ that’s right everybody, it’s your favorite boye ! ❞

❝ I swear to god I’ll do it you bitch--- ❞

❝ talk about a low-budget flight. ❞

❝ I pray onto you this day, that you would protect me from my sins and my transgressions. ❞

❝ shoot me you fucking coward, DO IT. ❞

❝ I’m gonna make sure that you watch my vine compilations. ❞

❝ MY FUNYUN RINGS ! ❞

❝ [ name ], listen to me. I know who your mother is--- ❞

❝ DON’T YOU FUCKING LIE TO ME. ❞

❝ here’s your bitch back. ❞

❝ thanks, jesus ! ❞

❝ one bitch fresh off the presses ! ❞

❝ two tickets to ride on the fuck you train. ❞

❝ you said that really sensually ! ❞

taken from snapcube’s real-time fandub of sonic adventures 2. feel free to adapt as you wish.

❝ I’m gonna kill all of you ! ❞

❝ live and learn, everybody ! that’s what I’m talking about ! ❞

❝ do you know where the nearest hot topic is ? ❞

❝ that’s really rude, I’m gonna have to call the polices on you ! ❞

❝ ZA WARUDO ! ❞

❝ I’ll make you eat those words ! ❞

❝ that’s fine. I didn’t really want it anyway. ❞

❝ that’s what you get for being a dumb-dumb piece of shit ! ❞

❝ I’m gonna kill these sons of bitches. ❞

❝ I can’t believe you did this. this is all your fault. ❞

❝ I’m not in any way qualified to do this. ❞

❝ AAAARGH, MY BONES !  ❞

❝ OH MY GOD ! that’s it, I’m calling the police ! 911--- ❞

❝ I am the police. ❞

❝ I miss my wife, [ name ]. I miss her a lot. ❞

❝ oh, I’m in jail again. ❞

❝ one too many times is enough. ❞

❝ one too many times is not enough. ❞

❝ I’ve found you, faker ! ❞

❝ you are going around being an asshole ? ❞

❝ perish. ❞

❝ sorry for hitting you so much, it’s just part of the narrative. ❞

❝ it seems as if we’re evenly matched in some kind of way. ❞

❝ I’m better than you ! I’m better than everyone ! ❞

❝ it would seem that you bitches have come to a standstill. ❞

❝ you have thirteen seconds before the island fucking explodes. ❞

❝ you have done nothing but destroy my life. ❞

❝ I can FLY !? ❞

❝ I know you wanna buy my stocks, but fuck you. ❞

❝ I’m taking everything from you. ❞

❝ BLAM ! and it busted a nut, then and there ! ❞

❝ NOW DIE. ❞

❝ fuck you, moon ! you never had the cheese I wanted ! ❞

❝ well, here. take this diamond as a consolation prize. ❞ 

❝ that’s not very funny, [ name ]. ❞

❝ hey, what’s up good-looking ? ❞

❝ don’t touch me, harlot ! ❞

❝ can you guys like stop having relationship issues while i’m on the phone with my dentist ? ❞

❝ that’s my favorite song. ❞

❝ I’M TAKING OVER THE UNIVERSE ! I’M TAKING OVER YOUR WORLD ! I’M TAKING YOUR TV ! ❞

❝ I’m taking the world by storm ! ❞