rain

ok so i had to ask doubts from chem teach cuz i was like absent for 2 days so some other kids were called too as they had doubts, his name was not called when the teach came and asked for the students who had doubts

i went a lil late cuz i was eating and he was fking there i stood next to him. the class i missed was very easy so when i told the teach i didn't understand that lecture he was shocked and then i told him that i was absent

first he explained to other boys who were standing there then he asked him what he didn't understand and he fking said the same thing as me and it was so easy even i was questioning if i should ask or not cuz i understood a bit after reading notes of that class and i'm sure he was present that day

then he asked me what i wanted to understand so i asked about the second lecture i missed

but like there were names announced in class for the students who *should* ask their doubts as they were absent so i told them i had to clarify some doubts too and his name was not announced till the last moment i just found out he was there when i went there

like????!!!!!¿¿¿¿¿

🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

maybe i'm just overreacting and it's just a coincidence but i can't help it, i was literally standing next to him the whole time and i was even pushed further by the mam asking if i even understood anything from that farr

but whatever it's not like it's a big deal this was such a normal interaction and we didn't even talk, i didn't even look at him at all

he talked to me for the first and said my name to call me

he told me he tried copying a ques for wave test and still got it wrong and i just laughed it off

he ain't that attractive idk what i like about him why do i like him from far and when he's taking to me I don't feel anything

why do i peek glances when i don't really like him idk is he just attractive? but he's not attractive

realised today he's not actually that attractive and i didn't feel pretty much anything when i talked to him

but ohh god he came to me first and talked well guess atleast he knows i'm present there and not invisible anymore

but i kinda get why they don't like him and i don't get why i found him attractive at first maybe was just desperate but he's a nice guy

shittiiest day literally don't even want to celebrate my birthday this week now

I don't even want to go to school anymore

like i feel like the dumbest person now

they were all laughing at me upfront in the class

i know it was dumb for me to be that nice to someone but the thing that hurt me the most was that now everyone considers me a fool

like im the stupidest one among them

i feel so bad about what all happened

but it's such a small issue that it doesn't even make sense if i cry but all these stuff building up from the last year makes me cry at any minor or major inconvenience

i hate it all soo much

i wish they understand that i don't want to fight anyone and im fine being a dumb person who is too nice to someone who took advantage like its all fine and they don't need to make it a big deal but all they say is that they can't accept this behaviour and i need to fight her for what was mine, i don't wanna i just want peace i don't want to fight somebody who i've just met for like two or three days

i wish everything would go back to normal liike it was