🎀 Magic Madness Heaven Sin

Then one day you wake up in immeasurable pain. You can't breathe, you can't move, its as if that very section of your body has renounced you as its host and has started a coup against you. You think it's a sprained wrist, a broken rib, a twisted ankle. It hurts, it hurts, but its comforting to know it will heal.

And then it doesn't. It doesn't get better and the injury doesn't act as it should and the normally sparse times you take painkillers become a daily habit and still you try to tell yourself, despite the sinking in your stomach, that it's something that will get better, something that will get fixed. And you're scared to even begin to look up what the pain might be because learning what it is means defeat, it means that yes, this is really something you're going to have to deal with your whole life, yes, this is something you are going to have to deal with doctors and testing and pills to make your pain manageable. And it's terrifying to have to come to terms with that.

And sometimes there are low pain days. Sometimes there's just medium pain days. And other times, well. Let's just say its not a low pain day. And there's hardly any pattern to speak of, just you trying to deal with your new limits and having to sacrifice beloved activities and watching your friends and family cringe in horror when you talk about your pain or snap a joint back into place. You try to get used to your new normal.

And when new pain starts developing, it's so frustrating. Like, you're already in pain, now your body wants to give you more? right when you were just getting used to the first one? It's tiring and infuriating and GOD it just makes you want to throw things-- if you weren't too scared of hurting yourself while doing so.