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@v0idbird
since i didn't say it explicitly, i should probably clarify. a human is a kind of animal, and is no exception to 'can be trained'. humans are not special. there is no magical "free will" that protects human minds from such 'manipulation' as 'communication'.
sometimes a human may be more inclined to not perform the behaviors you're looking for, but a human is a pretty intelligent creature so is usually quite responsive to conditioning once the training begins.
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so what you're gonna do is you're gonna trim the top off a bulb of garlic, using the knife's edge to take off the tip of every individual clove, that's important. you're gonna place the garlic face-up in a square of tinfoil, drizzle with olive oil, wrap completely in foil, place in baking tray, repeat with a copious amount of garlic bulbs. you're gonna put that baking tray in an oven set to 375-400°F, for 30-50 minutes, until soft and browned. you're gonna toast some good bread, slather generously with butter and honey, maybe a tiny lil bit o' salt. and then. you're gonna SQUEEZE. OUT. THAT. ROASTED GARLIC. onto the butter honey toast. and you're gonna eat it. food stolen directly from the plate of the gods. that's what you're gonna do.
the garlic. it beckons you
It occurs to me that "1920s gangster doing a cooking show while holding you at gunpoint" is an untapped market.
We've had normal cooking shows. Now we need period piece cooking shows in character.
so what you're gonna do is you're gonna trim the top off a bulb of garlic, using the knife's edge to take off the tip of every individual clove, that's important. you're gonna place the garlic face-up in a square of tinfoil, drizzle with olive oil, wrap completely in foil, place in baking tray, repeat with a copious amount of garlic bulbs. you're gonna put that baking tray in an oven set to 375-400°F, for 30-50 minutes, until soft and browned. you're gonna toast some good bread, slather generously with butter and honey, maybe a tiny lil bit o' salt. and then. you're gonna SQUEEZE. OUT. THAT. ROASTED GARLIC. onto the butter honey toast. and you're gonna eat it. food stolen directly from the plate of the gods. that's what you're gonna do.
the garlic. it beckons you
It occurs to me that "1920s gangster doing a cooking show while holding you at gunpoint" is an untapped market.
We've had normal cooking shows. Now we need period piece cooking shows in character.
humans will see a swamp and build a city on it and then spend the next 2,000+ years struggling to keep it from turning back into a swamp
everybody saying a different city is cracking me up
dragon hrt but you have someone put it in a dart and hunt you in the woods to shoot you with and and they have to higher calibres and be smarter the longer it goes on because your scales are getting thicker and the predatory instincts are kicking in. If you catch them first they get a good demonstration on how flexible your tongue is now.
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EVERYONE LOOK WHAT MY FRIEND FOUND ON REDDIT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Robot girl: “Is it even in? I could barely feel your tiny 42KB file in my storage~ You couldn’t even run Doom with that thing-!“
*one recursively extracted payload later*
Robot girl: “W-wait h-hold on! Why’s it getting so big?! Mmf~ my disk space can’t take 4.5 petabytes raw!!! If you keep unzipping like this… my memory’s gonna corrupt!!~”
"Love/sex is what makes us human" Wrong. It's the obsession with rectangles. look around you and count the number of rectangles you see.
#looked up and thought ‘that can’t be hard’#and then my eyes widened with horror as I realized the sheer number of rectangles everywhere#I’m . I’m horrified
It's a good shape!
Love this animal! the Wizard 🧙♂️🐉
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i want ice cream .
This seems counterproductive to your goals, how are you going to get ice cream if there is no earth? Are you an idiot stupid of sorts?
oh my apologies i see my mistake
In my opinion it's a lot more healthy to be able to own that you dislike someone for petty reasons than to do all kinds of mental gymnastics to make everyone you don't really vibe with out to be a bad person actually
I have a neighbor in her late 80s who I have lived next to for the past 4 years since I bought this house, that I have to re-introduce myself to every time she spots me outside. She remembers that I am her neighbor but cannot remember my name (unless she's talking to my partner, in which case she does remember my name but not his).
She has a truly ancient tiny dog whose pastimes include shitting on my driveway and picking fence fights with Fenris. Occasionally she will ask me to do his nails and he's actually wonderful for them so it takes like 3 minutes tops. She also will usually hand me whatever bill she has in her wallet for it- sometimes it's a 1, once it was a 50, usually it's like 5 bucks.
Now I have tried refusing her money and even gave the 50 back and wouldn't accept it. I then came home to the $50 bill taped to my back door the next day after work. So, you know, I'm kind of stuck accepting whatever she tries to give me because she WILL tape the money to my house somewhere otherwise.
(Once she gave one of her granddaughters a gift that required batteries and was distraught that it didn't come with any. Knocked on my door to ask if I had any. I haven't used my spare batteries in ages so I just gave her a whole pack. Refused to let her pay for them. Three days later a pack of batteries plus ten bucks was taped to my door. So this is not an uncommon occurance.)
Anyway this time she didn't have any money to pay because we're all fucking broke as shit on this block and she was really upset because his nails were starting to curl and once again I did them in like 3 minutes and when she apologized for not being able to pay me I just waved her off and told her not to worry about it.
I came home on Monday to my backyard being totally cleared of winter debris and the growing collection of winter dog shit as well as my fence repaired in two of the places that broke when the tree fell on it. I texted her adult son whose number I have and he confirmed he did it because he was happy that I helped his mom out with her dog. I tried to explain that it really does not take a lot to do the dog's nails but he similarly refused to hear it and said he'd be back in a few days to finish fixing the fence.
Idk why I thought he would be different from his mother. But I guess I get free fence repairs for the price of doing an old lady's dog's nails once every couple weeks to months.
hi solomon...... he's been on my mind a lot lately
abortion clicker early game : you click the belly 50 times in order to perform one abortion. this lets you buy a doctor who performs 0.1 abortions a second.
abortion clicker mid game: you own hundreds of clinics as well as think-tanks which dismantle sex ed courses as well as politicians which strengthen pro choice institutions
abortion clicker late game: the solar system’s resources have been stripped to build a dyson sphere which incubates trillions of humans for the sole purpose of performing abortions on them. once we achieve hyperspace travel, other stars will power superintelligent machines which will simulate octillions of abortion a second
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in order to preserve my internet privacy i’ll have to start feeding everyone misinformation about myself. i don’t eat. i don’t sleep. i don’t breathe. i don’t blink. i don’t have “blood”
never let the fact that you were born a girl stop you from being the gayest man alive
