s, sy. she / they. twenty-five. ot7. bts. (⚠︎ 18+ MDNI, please respect this.) ♯ sfw, nsfw. no requests at this time. read rules. enjoy.
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I write explicit content majority of the time. this blog is 18+. please do not interact with me if you're under the age of 17. can't stress this enough.
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the genres I usually write about are horror, thrillers, psychological. don't worry, fluff and light stuff are included.
smut, of course. that included: oral (giving) or (receiving), dirty talk, humiliation, hate sex, etc.
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❛ ON THE RUN ❜ 一 After stealing millions from the organization that raised him, he becomes the target of an international manhunt led by the very family he betrayed. With nowhere left to run, a chance encounter in a forgotten Arizona town brings him face-to-face with a woman desperate to outrun a past of her own. As corrupt cops, ruthless hitmen, and old loyalties close in, their unlikely alliance turns into something neither of them expected.
But love has a price, and in a world where betrayal is paid for in blood, escaping the past may prove impossible ✰ s, a, f ♱
synopsis: your skills as a videographer gets put to the test when your friend, who happens to be in the same profession, falls victim to double-booking. problem is, you only specialized in weddings, not adult films. despite your initial reluctance, you take the job. cue the lights … you meet jeon jungkook, a pornstar, on set — in his world. you just never expected him to play a part in yours.
pairing: pornstar!jungkook x wedding videographer!fem reader
wc: 74.8k
genre: s2l, pornstar au, smut, angst, fluff
cw: slice of life, miscommunication, inaccurate adult filming industry discourse/depiction, situationship, sexual exploration, tension, yearning, virgin oc, 18+ ONLY, specific smut warnings in each part.
STATUS: COMPLETED ✓⃝
prologue (4.7k)
act i. (14.3k)
act ii. (16.9k)
act iii. (17.8k)
final act (21.1k)
extra: epilogue (tbd)
Vibes before, during, and after reading:
┈┈┈┈ 「 moodboards 」
Reader/Pixie
Jeon Jungkook - alternatively
Additional
┈┈┈┈ 「 music 」
❯❯❯❯ playlist 1 by @lovieku // playlist 2 by @crystaleah
┈┈┈┈ 「 musings 」
itf breakdown/makings
beta comments
all discourse/feedback/reviews
memorable asks:
thoughtful anon (srsly who are you)
analysis 1 // analysis 2 // analysis 3
when the angst hits 🚬
remembering
magic
hurt so good
note: i wish i could include every feedback but the list would be endless. just know that i love you all IMMENSELY and your engagement with this series is so precious to me. i reread my asks, reblogs, and comment sections whenever i wanna do away with writing 🥺🫂 your reviews are forever cherished ♡
ON THE RUN 一 JEON JUNGKOOK ꒷꒦꒷ , series ❪ SNIPPET ❫
﹟WHO WANTS A PERFECT LOVE STORY ANYWAY ᵎᵎ
starring: criminal!jungkook x fem sexworker!oc
synopsis: after stealing millions from the organization that raised him, he becomes the target of an international manhunt led by the very family he betrayed. with nowhere left to run, a chance encounter in a forgotten Arizona town brings him face-to-face with a woman desperate to outrun a past of her own. as corrupt cops, ruthless hitmen, and old loyalties close in, their unlikely alliance turns into something neither of them expected. but love has a price, and in a world where betrayal is paid for in blood, escaping the past may prove impossible.
✰ genre: dark romance, action, mafia-like, thriller, smut, angst, age-gap romance (if you squint), themes of violence, taboo topics.
✰ status: on-going series.
✰ maturity rating: NC-17.
✰ warnings: this book contains foul language and graphic themes. it delves into a little bit of thriller, romance, and explores sensitive topics related to murder, religion, sex, prostitution, etc. it may provoke discomfort or challenge deeply held beliefs. reader discretion is advised.
✰ author's note: i deeply and wholeheartedly appreciate you guys for taking the time out of your day to read this book. i will forever love you and be grateful for you doing so. feedback is greatly appreciated along with your interpretation of how you think things are going to go, thoughts among the characters, or even questions. don't be discouraged to even contact me. i love interacting with people. there is an fem original character, but if you rather do reader instead of oc, then be my guest, imagination is limitless. the themes and topics will NOT be romanticize, instead to shed light on the dangers on sex work, prostitution, etc out of respect for a family member that passed away from doing such. can't stress this enough and I beg, if any of you find yourself in such predicament, PLEASE BE SAFE and stay VIGILANT. much love, s.
HARSH WHITE BEAMS from the circling helicopter lights carved through the night, slicing across their bodies as if trying to peel them apart. Red‑blue strobes from the swarm of police cars bled over their skin, painting them in frantic color while officers crept forward with guns raised, their hesitation a thin veneer over fear. She didn't see any of them. All she saw was him. She lay sprawled across his chest, her breath coming in ragged, uneven pulls, each one trembling with a broken cry that tore from her blood‑slick mouth. Her fingers-shaking, desperate-clawed at his shirt, at his jacket, at anything that tethered him to her. She shook him harder, her voice cracking as she begged him to stay awake, to stay with her, to not leave her in this collapsing world.
The bullet lodged in her side burned like a brand, but she barely registered it. The warm pool spreading beneath them, the metallic scent rising around them, the dizzying tilt of the ground-none of it mattered. Pain was secondary. Fear was distant. He was the only thing in focus. Her vision blurred at the edges, the world smearing into streaks of light and shadow, but his face-pale, slack, too still-remained sharp. She pressed her forehead to his, her tears mixing with the blood on his skin, whispering his name like a prayer, like a curse, like a promise she refused to let the universe break.
Around them, the officers shouted warnings. Demands. Orders. But she didn't move. She would burn with him if she had to.
OR
in which she has an unpleasant guest showing up at her doorstep.
His devotion to you isn't because of your pretty curves or how the neon lights shine beautiful casts off your skin, it's an obsession that keeps him breathing. An obsession that makes his hallucinations freeze. An obsession where his mind is so spiritually connected to your soul that he starts to feel everything in you. His body moves to yours in a way that helps your benefit. You're petrified of him, just like anyone else. But when will that terror turn into curiosity? When will that curiosity turn into love?
warnings: minor stalking, self hate/dread, obsessive tendencies, small worship, reader tends to forgive easily, small acts of violence, jeongguk lowkey is starting to haunt the reader, harsh languages, small second hand embarrassment at the end, mentions of jeongguk’s trauma with his family,
⊱ ۫ ׅ ✧ ─ Two heavy glass doors whirred past Jeongguk as he stepped past the threshold, his breathing tight.
The lights ahead shone a deep, lukewarm gold, a cast that reflected off the dark of his jacket leather. Light jazz music played ahead and if Jeongguk focused a little two hard - his throat tightening - he could hear his unsteady breathing over the hum of the speakers.
Cling. A guard dressed in head to toe charcoal gray suit, a man Jeongguk layed eyes on countless times before, stepped past him with a slow, tiny step. It was the approval that lead to the burn of despair or the smooth of joy.
Cling. The first thing Jeongguk saw was two, slim fingers hitting deliberately slow on a crystal glass. The hands belonged to a figure, one staring straight ahead so only the broad of his back was shown. He could barely makeout a small flicker of blonde hair - a maid on her knees, withered cloth sweeping over and over a polished shoe until the rythym of squeak flooded his mind.
Cling. Kim Seokjin's voice - the soft honey delivery with yet hard edges - spoke lowly. His metallic rings continued to hit the crystal with a cling. "Ghost.."
"Sir," the statue facade fell over Jeongguk's actions, his body calm as he bent his back forward into a bow. A movement that was nowhere near last night. A movement that screams foreign to the violent burst of shivers that kept his body awake until the hallucinations tripled.
"No need to bow for me, boy," Seokjin muttered, motioning the polishing maid away with the flick of his wrists. "I've seen your face enough to respect you. What is it? Why come so early? You should be training.."
"I need to see the surveillance from last time I raced," Jeongguk said, keeping his voice flat but the edges were laced with a hint of urgency. A plead lingering on his tongue, stale like salt.
Seokjin didn't answer or turn around. He took a sip of his amber colored drink, the surface clinging again... a sound that seemed to mimic the absolute race storming in Jeongguk's heart.
Seokjin turned around with a faint smile.
He was devastatingly handsome, framed by perfectly styled hair. He held the eyes that knew they owned grounds racers bled on. The same eyes Jeongguk remembered boring down at him the night of the crash.
"Surveillance?" he repeated. "You're an unpredictable boy, I'll tell you that. Usually when people come they ask for sponsors, hell even plead on their knees. They know I don't like them. You know I like you though, right?"
He wanted to scream. To shatter the crystal in Seokjin's hand. To demand the footage that would show him exactly where your life had intersected with his, but he forced himself to stay the statue.
Control Control Control
he had to remind himself.
"It's personal," he breathed out instead.
Seokjin laughed yet it failed to reach his eyes. He set the glass down calmly and stood up to pace ahead of Jeongguk. He stepped just mere inches away, invading his space. An act of a casual arrogant man who feared nothing.
"Personal? Damn, I didn't know you had personal things to you." Seokjin mused. "Everyone thinks your sole purpose is to wake up, talk crazy, and dominate the circuit with a high chance to scream in a nervous breakdown afterwards. That's your utility and yet your asking for something from me?"
Seokjin's hand came up, gripping Jeongguk's collar until he felt a thick, hot and violent bile rise in his throat. "My best man better not turn sloppy on me. You're my robot, you're my creation. You exist because my venue is the only place where you feel real. And now? Now you're going around asking for personal matters? If you turn back into your old you, boy, I swear to god if you've become fascinated to something useless-"
Before Seokjin - or even Jeongguk - could process anything, the tip of Jeongguk's knee went smashing into Seokjin's abdoment with such a force, it sent him bending over with a wheeze.
"Not useless!" Jeongguk screamed, every single nerve in his body immedietly locking into a high, white fueled numbness. "She's everything! S-She's real!"
"You are so fucking lucky I want you to stay here," Seokjin growled as he smoothed himself out, the side of his temple popping with a thick vein. But he stayed calm. He knew how to interact correctly, not like the heaving boy ahead of him.
He walked behind his massive desk and sat down, his leather chair creaking in the silence. He tapped his fingers on the desk, the sound rhythmic yet maddening to Jeongguk.
"Why do you want the footage?" Seokjin asked, his voice suddenly sharp and curious. He was weighing the request, not out of kindness but a desire to see how this could go.
"She lost her things," Jeongguk said quickly. "I promised to return them."
He reached for a remote on his desk and pressed a button. A wall monitor blinked to life, showing a grainy view of the parking lot from two nights ago.
"Fine," Seokjin muttered, his fingers flying over the console. "Find your girl's belongings. But remember, Ghost—when you start caring about things that don't belong to District 19, you become a liability. And I don't keep liability's on my payroll."
Jeongguk's breathing came ragged as he stepped toward the screen. He watched the smoky playback, eyes tracing the sea of people until he found you.
You, dressed in a casual work fit of blue, yet it stained onto him like he was torn cloth and you red wine. He watched how steady you were in a barricade of grey to him. How his breathing turned slower the more he watched you, and how he was white knuckled watching you smile at Renee and Hoseok.
Oh how you were such a perfect existence. He would've believed you weren't real if it weren't for your frame on the footage. For Hoseok wrapping his arms around you like you were solid. Breathing. So right.
He was so focused on your sole existence that he couldn't feel Seokjin's gaze burn the back of his mullet. He couldn't feel the gaze of Seokjin's cold yet detached pity.
He didn't understand that Jeongguk was looking at just a woman.
He was looking at the only reason he hadn't completely drifted off the edge of the earth.
Jeongguk's fist slamming hard onto the wooden table, clattering nearby cups, snapped Seokjin out of his thought.
"Is there something wrong?"
"Vante," Jeongguk snapped.
Seokjin turned his head slightly so the screen could reach his view again. Just under the static, he saw it - a photographer Seokjin knew too well, manbun flowing under the breeze as he sneakily grasped your belongings.
"Won't you look at that," Seokjin purred. "She exists in Vante's world. So I guess she really is special."
Jeongguk didn't answer him. He turned and walked out of the office, his back stiff as his heart matched the frantic pounds his feet echoed off the corridors. He turned down the halls and into the arena, ignoring the shouts of guards as his eyes snapped around the building.
He moved like a ghost, cause he was. Just a soulless fragment hunting for the remnants of your reality. And may heaven help anyone who got in his way.
A pale bandana caught his eye followed by a face carved from a greek god himself. A flicker of oreo - raven and cream - strands falling loose from where it was tied into a precise bun.
A camera flash came then, a full body shudder tearing from Jeongguk, then the photographer removed the device from his face with a tainted smirk.
"Looking for something?" Another flash of his camera. "Gonna tear me into shreds? I told you, fate is something that's bound to terrorize you soon. I was just so... bored. I wanted to make it come faster, so I did. I shouldn't be punched, I did your soul a favor."
"You." Jeongguk voice came as a gutteral, inhumane sound. He crossed the distance between them with a blur. "Give. It. Back."
Vante just stood there, leaning against a pilar with no signs of regret - no flinch or stance adjustment. His smirk was obscene as if he hadn't known what hurricane was brewing in Jeongguk's mind.
"you're so dramatic, Ghost," Vante hummed as he brought the camera up to his eye level. Not to capture a shot, but to cradle it as if it were his prized possesion."You walk through life like you're already a memory, yet you're so desperate to get these back. Why? You think a wallet and a phone will keep you anchored?"
"Enough," Jeongguk snarled, his jagged shadow falling over Vante. "Give me her things back. Now."
Vante sighed, a sound of disappointment and tilted his head slightly.
An action of someone who saw things.
A casual head tilt a playful dog gave when it's eye fell onto something interesting. Entertaining.
"I knew you'd do this," Vante breathed, taking a step back from Jeongguk although no fear ran through his veins. He was as still as Jeongguk dared to be in the spotlight - a gem statue with cracked edges. "You told her you'd fetch her things with the idea of, wow, so this is how I can see her again. A, wow, I can walk on her yard with a reasonable excuse without her looking at me crazy like she already has. You might've not thought it yet, Ghost, but that truth lies deep in your bones."
Jeongguk took a step closer.
"Just hand me the things," Jeongguk ordered. "Do it before Seokjin realizes he should kick me out."
A small, bitter laugh fell from the artists throat. "You still dont get it, don't you? I didn't take her things for the thrill of theft. I took them to see what'd you do. I wanted to see if you-"
Vante took a step closer to poke the pulse point into Jeongguk's throat.
"-Mr Ghost has a pulse or if you'd drift away in that car of yours until you're faded into nothing. My camera has always been real for tradegy, but a gamble for fate. But now, watching you tremble so humane, I feel thrilled. It's worked. My fate is right."
"Give. Them. Back." Jeongguk threatened, his voice dropping enough to make the air feel heavy.
The red in his vision came yet again, bleeding into the edges of the arena and the shadows deepening. He felt the familiar urge to just let go, to let the world dissolve.
But he locked his focus on Vante's throat. The pulse beating steadily beneath the tan of his skin.
Vante laughed, the echo short as he reached into the side pocket of his camera bag. He pulled out a dark brown wallet laced with Cherry Blossoms and a phone with a similar glowy, lenghty design.
He held them out just close to Jeongguk's reach. "You want them? Go ahead, take them."
Jeongguk snatched the items from his hand, his fingers brushing Vante's cold skin. He clutched your items until his knuckles throbbed a phantom white.
"Smells like cherries," Vante commented. "And laced with Cherry Blossoms. Have you ever tasted cherries on a cold, rainy day? Would you think about tasting one when you juggle between if she's real or if you've imagined her to keep yourself from walking into the path of a speeding car?"
"She is real," Jeongguk replied, his eyes burning into Vante's. "She is more real than you and the air I am breathing. You don't get to touch her things. You don't get to talk about her."
"Possessive already?" Vante cooed.
Jeongguk turned with not another word, items clutched tightly in his hand as he began to walk away. He could feel Vante's gaze burn into his back, that click of the camera that captured his retreat and obsession.
It didn't matter.
He was focused, moving, and grasping something he needed.
He made his way out of the arena, suddenly feeling anchored with your things brushing against his palm.
He didn't know where to go next - well, he did, he knew exactly where he was going - but the reality of having your things felt like a drug. A fragment of your life, a piece of your world, now tucked securely against his heart.
He reached his car and slid into the seat. He pulled his car into drive while his other hand felt the leather of your wallet. Felling the texture, the imperfections, the truth of it.
He was going to give these back to you, not because he was feeling descent, but because he needed to see your reaction.
He needed to see the flicker of confusion.
The startle in your eyes.
The way your voice would sound when you realized he hadn't just driven you home - he had gone into the dark to claim your life.
Your belongings stayed clung into his hand as he descended down the route he forced himself to remember the night he drove you home. The same turn of wheels he thought about over and over again until his body was too exhausted to think. The roads that made his eyes burn.
By the time he had reached your house, his breathing had gone normal again.
He parked just at the curb - not into the driveway, he still felt too declined to do that - but close enough to make an appearance.
The engines thrum died, leaving the street in a silence so tight it felt like a held breath.
"They were in the lost," Jeongguk breathed, the lie slipping past his lips.
It was a preparation. A practice of his pitch he needed to keep the distance he knew he had to maintain.
With a shuddering breath, he stepped out, boots crunching the gravel below.
His lips were moving, soundless, but the weight of his rehearsed speech staining his throat. He clenched the wallet tighter, almost upset he was about to let it go.
Your silhouette stopped him dead on his tracks, one foot raised in the air.
Your house being a one story cozy embode - also at home for another girl he had just found out - gave a perfect sight of your bedroom window.
Red.
Red Red Red
Fluff of a (red) heavy robe hugged around the curves of your frame, catching the warm of a small lamp and turning it into something entirely divine. Your skin was glistening, most likely returning from a shower, as you brushed your wet hair out.
A small speaker sat ontop of the wooden bedside table near your duvets, a female singers voice a soft hum twirled out of a small crack of your window until it wrapped around him.
You were so close.
Just a seperation of a thin, glass panel.
He stopped breathing. He didn't even realize he was doing it, his lungs simply refusing to cycle, as if the air in your yard was too pure for him to ruin.
The wallet in his hands screamed for release, but his fingers were completely locked. He felt a sudden, maddening desire to keep it.
To keep the wallet, the phone, the physical proof of your life—tucked into his own jacket, right against his skin.
And he wasn't ready, despite the excuse to see you. A right to hover at your space.
His eyes tracked the slow motion as you brushed your hair.
He felt so so so calm.
Like everything stopped.
Like every atom froze from your brightness, the glow radiating from your frame. A glow of a star in a dead sky.
The (red) of your robe was like a siren's song pulling at the frayed edge of his mind. It whispered that he could step closer. Whispered that the glass was thin, a flimsy lock and he could easily enter and become the reason for the softness in your eyes.
He could replace the hum of the speaker. He could be the melody that made your skin flush.
He would've looked down at your things if he could.
He knew he can't peel his eyes from you no matter how right it is to do so.
To leave your things on your doorstep and not return.
He felt his body twitch so hard it rattled his teeth. He clamped his jaw shut, tight enough to taste copper. The weight of the options came down at him.
Return them
Don't
Be reasonable respect her, treat her like she is your goddess you have to obey.
Hold onto them for a bit longer. Treat the objects like she's a goddess you cant reach and this is the only shrine remotely close to her soul.
He should retreat he isn't.
He's a creature. Coming from the dark to be anchored to your lawn by the gravity of your existence.
He watched you move with the unhinged fixation that made his eyes ache, his mind cataloging the way your hair fell. The curve of your neck, skin to bone. The way you hummed along with the singer.
Was he loosing it?
No. He's always been lost.
He's always struggled to stay locked to reality.
This is just... him.
And you're being... you. A structure of beauty that almost sent him flying to his knees.
He was a broken, shivering man clutching your stolen items in his fist while watching you bathe in the golden light.
He needs to keep your things. Just for a night. Just until he got his ass together.
He'll just wait here. Watch the light until it died and he would memorize the way the (red) robe clung to your frame until the memory was a stain. A nice stain. A stain that kept his heart beating in the rythym of your own.
Ghost, the merciless driver that owned red and matte-black, stood here, just a shadow reaching for the sun.
Knowing full to well that if he got too close, he would burn.
Your eyes were like two heavy metal locks on your bedroom window. Completely trained on the raindrops tapping down the glass, you narrowed your eyes before blinking.
There was something so entirely twisted about the way the glass shone under the moonlight and how the barrier absorbed the reach of outside sounds.
As if it were staring right back at you.
Oh God, you were being so paranoid. You need to stop that mind of yours, call it quits and just relax for once.
A sigh came from you, but quickly disintegrated when your bedroom door slammed open.
"Hobi invited us to go out for dinner, c'mon," Renee announced, already frantically pulling her brush through her brown strands.
"Not after the last time I was with the pair of you," you scoffed, turning away.
"Y/n!" She groaned, stopping her frantic brushing to set the brush down on your dresser with a hard clank. "You're still mad about this? It's been three days. Hoseok and I have apologized countless times-"
"You knew I was exhausted yet you dragged me there," you replied, turning to your mirror to pull your hair back. "I came along because I wanted to do something nice. You left me there. I lost my things while you were busy probably dicking down that bastard."
"Listen, I saw him and he- I just couldn't- things started and we struggled to stop," she stepped over to grab ahold of your hands, thumbs curling around your wrists. "Please? I promise Hoseok's dick that I won't leave you again. He really likes you and I love you, we were hoping deep down for you to come."
Her touch was grounding, it really was.
But didn't quite settle the ease that had clung at the back of your neck all evening.
You sighed, anger still evident in your chest although you knew you've been wanting to eat out for a while now. You needed somewhere that wasn't the same Italian restaurant you worked your bones at for way many times a week.
A nice restaurant, even with the flaws of Renee.
"He likes me?" you repeated, your voice flat. "Hoseok barely knows me, Renee. He knows me because I'm your friend. Don't act like this is some get together because he begged for me to come. It's a pity invite."
"It's not!" She insisted, her eyes wide and earnest. "He thinks you're cool. You have this vibe, he said, that makes him like you. And... y'know, if you're close to me, you're gonna have to be close to him too."
"Who does he not like?"
"Trust me, a lot of people."
You gave her a knowing look.
"Come on," she frowned, giving your wrists a gentle tug. "It'll be just us three. No loud music or racing cars, no... whatever happened that night which made you suddenly hate me, just dinner! I'll even pay for you, okay? Please? If I leave you here alone, I'm going to spend the whole night being guilty and then I won't be able to enjoy the food."
She let go of your wrists and started tearing through your closet. She pulled out a black dress designed with darker blossoms and tossed it onto the bed. "Put this on. It's very pretty, ain't cherry blossoms your favorite flowers too...? You had them on your wallet and phone."
"Key word," you deadpanned, piking the silk up from your sheets. You examined it with a frown then gave in with a small, almost regretting shrug. "Had."
"Listen, I've been contacting District 19 everyday-"
"I know," you cut her off with a sigh, tucking the dress under your arm. "Give me twenty minutes. Renee, I swear if you ditch me again- I'll chop off Hoseoks dick so you won't have a reason to ditch me again. Got it?"
Renee beamed, a flash of genuine relief crossing her face. "Deal! Yay! I'll go heat up the car, you put on some music or something you've been quiet. Also, his dick might fix my problems. Cause then, maybe I won't be so attached to a man who doesn't actually care, whatever, see ya soon!"
You frowned for a quick second, her words almost breaking your heart. You forced yourself to push the thoughts away, though, by stepping into your bathroom to change.
Once the fabric clung around you, you stepped back out to grab your bag from from your dresser where Renee left her hairbrush. You let out yet another sigh as you slung it over your shoulder, then stepped outside.
The cool air hit your face, the back of your neck princkling again. You shook your head, forcing the sensation away as you hopped into the passenger seat where Renee was shuffling through her aux.
"Cha Cha by Freddie Dredd," she sung once you buckled yourself into the seat. "A beautiful song. Hey, since I dragged you along, do you have any requests? I'll play things for you!"
From the way she tapped her fingers on the steering wheel in sync with the dark beat, her head slightly bobbing - your mouth had become dry. "Requests?" You repeated. "No, this is good. Keep this on."
Your eyes flickered to the review mirror, empty rain slicked road behind you glowing from her headlights. You fixed your hair as she pulled out, fingers sledding through smooth strands like that could make you feel better about the weight pulling at you.
"Is the bass physically hitting you? You look at ease," she was bright yet unbothered as she swiped through her playlist with her thumb. "Ariana Grande? Gee, do you remember your Ariana Grande phase? I mean, she is a queen."
She interrupted herself by tapping 'ghostin" to play.
Your breath hitched but it was discreet enough for her bubbly self not to catch the sound.
You were so busy clawing at her that you forgot to inform her about the man that had eyes that swallowed all of nearby light.
"Ghost," you whispered, your stomach now feeling heavy.
"Huh?" Renee hummed, stealing a glance at you.
"Nothing," you offered her a smile before staring out the window again to the dark wooded patches of the outskirts. Woods faded into city lights and it was soon enough until she was pulling into a semi-crowded place sitting just at the edge of a sharp city corner.
"Oh my!" Hoseok's voice tore through everything. "She came! Woah!"
He was leaning out of his driver's window, face a mask of delight. He hopped out at the same time Renee had and you followed with a wary smile.
"I told you she'd come around!"
Hoseok stepped past her to grab ahold of your shoulders, fingers digging into your skin. He begun to shake you. "Renee told me you hated me, ach, it's a good thing that it looks like you don't. I'm sorry for leaving you guys behind. you see, I was looking for Ghost 'cause he needed me for a personal matter- but then I realized he was racing by then."
You forced a laugh, unhooking your purse to swing it over his neck.
"Hold that then I'll forgive you."
"Okay," he breathed. "Let's get inside. I already put our names in, good thing you came or that wouldve been embarrassing. Two instead of three.."
As you walked toward the entrance, the laughter of others and clinking of silverware boomed around you. The air was warm inside, packed, a smell of garlic and chili oil.
Hoseok led the way to a booth tucked toward the back.
It was easy to fall into conversation. You watched them and laughed at Hoseoks easy conversation. Renee leaned slightly into him, a connection you couldn't help but give a lopsided down smile at.
The waiter arrived and took your order for drinks.
The moment he left, Renee gasped.
"Is that Ghost?"
The laugher died in your throat, silenced as if someone had clamped a hand over your mouth.
Your heart didn't just skip a beat, it plummeted, hitting the floor of the booth with a sickening thud.
You didn't want to look. You didn't want the nightmare to breach the walls of this place which was supposed to be bright and loud. Safe.
Renee leaned further down the table, her polished nails tapping against the seal as she narrowed her eyes. Her head tilted, she hummed.
"It is! Hoseok, Y/n, look. Omigod, I guess he really is real outside of District 19."
You watched as Hoseok's eyes flickered to you for a quick second, his smile just faintly twitching into nothing.
"Oh," he breathed, then as if something twisted had clicked into his mind— he physically jolted. "OH! Y/n! Wanna go to the back with me, to uh, grab some... uh, just let's go outside real quick-"
"Why?" Renee frowned, tilting her head as she sat back down properly onto the vinyl booth. "What the fuck, Hoseok?"
"What-?"
She suddenly crossed her arms over her chest, the motion so sudden you could've missed it with the blink of your eyes.
"Hm... I think he looks lonely."
You looked over your shoulder, eyes snapping to him even if your mind was screaming at you to keep that restraint still. Tethered.
He sat alone at one of the booths tucked under an overhead floor, the structure casting a lengthy shadow over him and the wood. His hands were cupped over a cup of untouched cola, his eyes hooded as he stared down at the ascending bubbles.
The dark curls of his mullet fell over the sharp of his face, the strands completely blocking out the view of his empty eyes. Clad in a black crewneck with weighted jeans, he looked like a man who didn't belong in a place like this.
A place where everyone smiled.
Clothing was bright.
Never alone.
"Not just lonely... sad," Renee muttered, over dramatically clutching her palm to her chest, nails digging into her top. "Like, really sad. Should we invite him over!"
"No-" You started but Hoseok was quick to cut you off,
"I think the dude thrives in being lonely, trust me, I've tried to befriend him many times before." Hoseok said quickly, setting his glass of water down onto the table. "He respond in short sentences, and if there's an exception of anything longer— he's cursing you out. And not only that, I think he's going through something just lately. He's acting... I don't know. We should just, lie low, maybe wave but like–"
"Ghost!" Renee cheered.
"Renee!" Both you and Hoseok kicked her shin under the table. Hoseok shot you a confused glance before gasping. "Renee, Renee, Renee, what the hell?"
"He looks sad, okay?" She frowned, a small dimple pressing onto her chin. "Like... just look at the dude. He looks like he's trapped in a storm cloud and can't get out."
"You guys don't understand," Hoseok said urgently, his tone completely serious. "Well... Renee, you don't understand. He doesn't just do things like this unless he wants to. I've seen what he's like when he wants something, It's not good. We should just leave him be, like actually. Let him eat alone. Let him stare into a void at that cup."
"You're talking crazy," Renee replied, hoisting her palms onto the table to scoot herself out of the booth.
"No, Renee-" You started but before the words could fully land, she was already pacing down the aisle.
The overhead soft music suddenly felt distorted to you more and more as she approached him, the speakers calm delivery's turning into ragged screeches in your ears.
"Oh, fuck," Hoseok dropped his face down to his hands with a sigh.
You watched, heart a bird trapped in a cage as Renee's lips spoke gently to the mysterious man that held a shadow that completely swallowed the booth.
She used her thumb to point to you and Hoseok.
His eyes flickered to you for a split second.
His lips just barely curled into a faint smile.
Oh, why are you suddenly so nauseous?
It wasn't long until he was following Renee. His strides almost hesitant and short, a ragged comparison to her bubbly jumps and squeals of excitement. Hoseok groaned from across of you, his hands now suddenly fidgeting at his glass cup.
"Y/n, I think you should lea-"
Jeongguk stopped at the edge of the booth. He didn't look at Renee or glance to the chuckling nervously Hoseok. He looked down at you, his eyes dark, blown-out, and swirling with a mixture of rage and relief that made your head spin.
"Hoseokkkk," Renee beamed, grabbing ahold of Jeongguk's shoulders to push his body down to the empty space next to Hoseok. He plopped down with a small huff, the air immediately shifting into something more dangerously tense. "Your racing buddy is here."
Jeongguks head dipped just slightly, a movement that screamed far from interested. His hair swept over his eyes and for just a split of a second, you saw his irises already locking down on you.
You gulped and looked away.
Renee is smiling bright, completely unfazed by the tension. She sat down next to you, shoulders brushing yours while she's directly across from Hoseok.
"Ohhh, bud, hey there!" Hoseoks mask quickly slips on, a unfazed happiness while his hand reaches out to offer Jeongguk his food menu. "Didn't expect to see you here. Y'know, people never really see you outside of the arena. Why the change of heart?"
His didn't reach for the menu or look at Hoseoks outstretched hand. His gazed stayed lock on you as if the rest of his sight was ignoring the rest of the table entirely.
The silence he brought with him was utterly, disgustingly, absolute.
"I was hungry," he said quietly.
Hoseoks smile wavered just a hairline. He retracted the menu, nodding over and over again. "Right... cause, that makes sense."
Every instinct you possessed was screaming at you to stand up and run, but your legs felt like they were bolted to the floor.
"What's your favorite food, Ghost?" Renee asked, slightly leaning over the table to rest her head onto her hand. "I'm sure they'll have it here, this place has everything. They even have the Rigatoni and Ribeye pasta Y/n absolutely adores. Isn't it hard to find it elsewhere?"
"Huh?" You split your gaze away from Jeongguk, not even realizing you were absorbing every detail of the sprinkle of deep gold barely visible in his eyes. "Oh, yeah. It's such a nightmare. I'm sure this place is the only one that makes it good enough anyways."
"Rigatoni and Ribeye," he repeated, the words lingering on his tongue as if savoring the fact. "I like... whatever."
"Whatever?" Renee gasped, reaching out to snatch Hoseoks menu from his hands. "Perfect, then let me choose something for you to eat. Don't be afraid, I have absolutely the best taste in food, okay?"
"No," Jeongguk snapped then quietly let out a breath. "I'm not eating."
"You should eat something," Hoseok said at the same time you muttered, "Then why are you here?"
You couldn't help the question from coming out. Your skin prickled everywhere his gaze touched, it was maddening. It was as if he was consuming the space around you, observing every single flaw and perfection lining your skin.
"I can't stay away," he muttered.
"From here?" Renee tilted her head. "Well, I mean I guess everyone has a favorite comfort space. This is a cute place to just hangout at, I totally see your vision-"
Jeongguk looked back at you, "No."
An answer to Renee's question that turned your stomachs nausea into a sharp and twisted pain.
Hoseok frowned, his eyes darting between the two of you, sensing the shift in the atmosphere—the sudden, suffocating tension that seemed to center entirely on you.
Renee's lips opened to speak again, but the waiter had came over with a slight smile. "Oh, we have another guest," he said softly, crossing his hands ahead of him. "Is everyone here ready to order?"
"I'll have the Rigatoni and Ribeye," you said, your voice sounding thin and brittle.
You didn't dare look at Jeongguk. You knew he was staring at you—you could feel his gaze tracing the line of your collarbone, and the dip where skin met lips.
"And also a water, the cherry soda is too strong," you ended off your order with a beam.
"I'll take the same," Renee added, her enthusiasm still high for Jeongguks appearance though it was slightly faded from his blatant attitude. "And bring an extra plate for our friend here too, please. He doesn't wanna eat but I know he'll drool by just looking at our plates."
"I said I didnt-"
"And a hamburger for me," Hoseok cut off Jeongguk quickly, gathering the menus to hand them to the waiter.
The waiter scribbled then retreated quickly.
Hoseok cleared his throat, his fidgeting intensifying and took a long gulp of his water, his Adam's apple bobbing.
"So, Ghost... usually you're prepping for the Sunday races around this time. You're taking tonight off? Seems risky, with the season peaking and all."
Jeongguk looked down at his hands. "Yeah," he breathed. "Usually I am."
Jeongguk didn't even know what he was doing.
His mind was a complete mess. He remembered looking at you and breathing right but the moment you and Renee had left in her car he immediately felt burned like a pile of dismantled ash.
He told himself over and over again that he shouldn't. That no matter how much temptation shuddered through his bones, he needed to stay away. He can't follow.
But, he was already racing to his car by the time he realized his thoughts and actions are very two different stigma's.
He forced himself to continue staring at his hands. Crusted at the edges where his knuckles split raw, a flush pink that almost matched the delicate polish lining your nails. He remembered getting mad. He remembered slamming his fist somewhere and yet the scream and sounds of break was distant.
It was rough, violent, something he can't wrap his mind around.
His eyes flickered up to you.
You were gorgeous, soft, the only thing his mind could wrap around without any distortion.
Your perfume evaporated the booth whole. It coaxed the table cloth, the small flicker of the white candles, and sat right at the bump of his nose.
Cherries.
"I need cherries," he rasped.
Hoseok- who was in the middle of rambling about something completely out of his dictionary (like snakes), stopped his flow of words to look back at Jeongguk. His brows raised, almost confused.
"So you do know this is a fancy restaurant, right? They probably won't serve you plain cherries. Well... there's probably cherry flavored stuff like, cherry chicken? And, bud, I am so sorry but you already missed your opportunity to order, you kind of did say you didn't want to eat anything. But I'm sure you can go to the front and ask... are you even listening to me, or are you just staring at the wall? Or, wait, are you looking at Y/n? C'mon, bro, don't be a creep."
"Does your mouth ever stop?" Jeongguk looked back at Hoseok. "and your friend. Some people can't stand it."
"They invited you here, Ghost," you spoke despite the deep rooted fear churning in your stomach. "They offered to pay for your food which you didn't even try to thank them or even accept their offer. You're being a dick and staring at me like some psycho-"
Your words broke the protective seal that kept her words from crashing down onto him.
That voice that sounds the same through many years of adulthood but yet so devoid of the motherly warmth Jeongguk used to bathe in. It was cold, painful, a noise that drowned him so deep it was until his ears popped from the depths of the pressure alone.
"Everyone's calling you a psycho, boy. I can't have that... title be put under my name."
"Until you get your acts together, I can't have a psycho as a son."
"Can you see this, psycho? Can you see what you've done to your father and I or is it buried under your hallucinations?”
A bang echoed throughout the atleast what used to be a calm, somewhat relaxing dining space.
A connect of roughed palm to velvet cloth with the force of the slam hard enough to rattle the table and the remains of what sat of drinks in the crystal glasses.
The sound of his fist hit that table in a sickening, hollow thud that it shattered the restaurant's polite murmur instantly. Around you, conversations died mid-sentence.
The weight of stares.
"Psycho?" He repeated, a rough, almost bitter sound of laughter came out of his pierced lips that it personally stabbed you in the gut. "You think I'm a psycho for wanting to be near something normal? If you ever repeat those words to me ever again, I will show you a real fucking psycho."
"Jeongguk, stop," Hoseok said with a strained voice. "Just stop. You're making a scene."
"You're being incredibly rude," you managed to say, just about failing to keep your voice stable. "First you were unkind to me the other day and now you're being rude to my friends. It's their personality, I love them because of it. If you're going to act like this, just leave. Please."
Jeongguk's head tilted, a slow yet unnatural motion. The faint and cruel smile tugged at his lips again, twisting his features into something jagged and beautiful.
"Leave?" He repeated the word as if it were a foreign concept. "I never leave the things I want even if the pleads rot my brain. I was guilty, and even if I still am, I will continue to stay rooted. To stare. I'm not going anywhere."
"Jeongguk, I think we need to talk." Hoseok let out a small breath.
"No," Jeongguk said, his eyes drilling into you. "You brought her along and gave me the opening. Don't act surprised when I take it."
He didn't move although Hoseok let out a nervous chuckle.
He just sat there, a silent dare to anyone in the room - daring you - to try and move him.
tags : ̗̀➛ @champagneeeemamiiii @jksbluved @seokvrn please comment or dm to be tagged 🤍
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we’d like to welcome you into the holidays with a groundbreaking, earth-shattering, revolutionary concept that has NEVER been seen before…
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a christmas themed mini-series!
it only comes once a year, so let’s do it right! get into your coziest christmas jammies, grab your hot cocoa, cuddle up with your furbabies, and prepare for some tooth-rotting fluff, some hot and steamy smut, and just a tiny sting of holiday angst ✩
this is… CHRISTMAS & CHILL
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inspired by ariana grande’s holiday EP christmas & chill, with banners crafted by the phenomenal maestro @awrkive ⋆⛸️˖°❅🕯️༘
INTRO ⋆ LOVIEKU
⟡ virgin jk x fem reader, first time, f2l, smut, fluff
you're jeongguk's secret santa this year, so you give him the best gift he'll ever receive.
⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙*̩̩͙❆•̩̩͙꙳⋆
WIT IT THIS CHRISTMAS ⋆ GIRLYGGUK
⟡ drummer jk x secret situationship fem reader, fwb au, angst, smut, fluff
the spine breakers. a name that echoes everywhere. jeon jungkook, the drummer of the world’s leading alt band, has his face on billboards and displays across the globe. he's loved. desired. untouchable. but as christmas - the busiest and arguably most romantic season - approaches, you’re done watching girls shoot their shot with your (not-so) man. this time, you let them know. or, better yet, hear.
⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙*̩̩͙❆•̩̩͙꙳⋆
DECEMBER ⋆ LOVIEKU
⟡ dilf jk x gf reader, established relo, smut, fluff
being with jeongguk is a gift in itself. this christmas, you'll show him your gratitude. do whatever is on his list.
⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙*̩̩͙❆•̩̩͙꙳⋆
NOT JUST ON CHRISTMAS ⋆ GIRLYGGUK
⟡ nerdy jk x gf reader, established relo, college au, fluff, smut
he's the first boy you've ever brought home for christmas. jungkook's nervous. you're horny.
⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙*̩̩͙❆•̩̩͙꙳⋆
TRUE LOVE ⋆ LOVIEKU
⟡ tattoo artist jk x fem reader, grumpy x sunshine, fluff, smut
when you and jeon jeongguk's paths cross again, you question if having a crush on the school's emo and alternative boy was really just a phase, or if it was true love after all.
⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙*̩̩͙❆•̩̩͙꙳⋆
WINTER THINGS ⋆ GIRLYGGUK
⟡ jungkook x gf reader, long distance relationship, smut, fluff
it’s jungkook’s favorite time of year and the only thing on his list is you. getting to finally feel you, see you, meet you outside of his computer screen. now it’s happening. and, god, you’re even prettier in person.
SUMMARY -> jungkook, a divorced single dad, falls for his daughter’s nanny.
TROPES -> she falls first he falls harder, yearning, age gap, angst, hurt comfort, absent mother, jungkook is a little pathetic
now playing: jonny - faye webster˚.⋆♪
SERIES MASTERLIST ❦ MAIN MASTERLIST
PREVIOUS CHAPTER ❦ NEXT CHAPTER
09: a day off
it had been easier when he wasn't home.
harder in some ways, sure.
you missed him when he left for work. you caught yourself wondering if he'd remembered breakfast, if he was sleeping enough, if he was taking breaks like he promised he would.
those thoughts were embarrassing enough on their own.
but at least they stayed inside your own head.
at least you only saw him for an hour or two every morning.
now, he was everywhere.
you heard him taking meetings through the office door. heard his footsteps upstairs. heard him laugh quietly at something one of his coworkers said over his headset.
sometimes he'd come into the kitchen for coffee. sometimes he'd wander into the living room while stretching after sitting at his desk too long. sometimes he'd stand in the doorway just watching you and arin play.
you could feel his eyes before you even looked up. so, you stopped looking up. it was easier that way. or at least, you kept telling yourself it was.
the school play had embarrassed you more than anything ever had. not because anyone had been cruel. quite the opposite. everyone had been perfectly nice. which somehow hurt even more.
you still remembered standing in the back of the auditorium, watching them. watching jungkook and his wife ex sitting beside each other.
watching them surprise arin together. watching arin run into both of their arms. they had looke right. complete. like the kind of family children drew with crayons.
you had stood there with your little bouquet of flowers you'd bought for arin afterward.
suddenly feeling very, very silly.
because somewhere along the way, you'd forgotten your place. you had started imagining breakfasts that weren't yours. imagining movie nights you didn't belong in. imagining what it would be like if...
you squeezed your eyes shut. no.
you couldn't think like that anymore. it wasn't fair. not to yourself and especially not to him.
he had a family. complicated? yes. broken? maybe. but it was still his family.
you were the nanny. nothing more.
you repeated that to yourself every morning. every afternoon. every night.
nothing more.
it became a prayer. one that never quite reached your heart. because your heart your heart didn't seem interested in listening.
it still fluttered every time he smiled at you. still stumbled whenever he said your name. still warmed when he thanked you for little things.
your feelings hadn't disappeared.
they had simply become...quieter. hidden.
locked somewhere no one else could reach. especially him.
so you stopped fussing over him. you didn't ask whether he'd eaten. didn't remind him to drink water. didn't tell him to go to bed earlier.
you wanted to. every single day.
you noticed when he skipped lunch.
noticed when his coffee went cold because he'd forgotten to drink it. noticed when he rubbed the back of his neck after sitting at his desk too long.
you noticed everything. just like before. the difference was you kept it to yourself.
because wives worried. girlfriends worried. people who belonged worried. you didn't.
arin deserved every ounce of softness you had. jungkook didn't.
not because he wasn't worthy of it. because he wasn't yours to give it to. that distinction mattered.
even if it broke your heart.
"pretty nanny!"
you looked up just in time for arin to launch herself into your lap with enough force to nearly knock you backward.
you laughed immediately.
"goodness."
she wrapped both arms around your neck.
"i missed you."
"it's been..." you looked dramatically at the clock.
"...twelve minutes."
"that's a long time."
"oh."
you nodded seriously.
"in that case, i'm terribly sorry."
she giggled.
the sound healed tiny pieces of your heart every single day.
you hugged her tighter.
"what should we do today?"
"paint!"
"paint it is."
you stood, taking her little hand. as you passed the hallway, the office door opened. jungkook stepped out. your smile faltered for only a fraction of a second. then you straightened automatically. professional.
"good morning."
his expression softened the second he saw you.
"morning."
there was something hopeful in his voice. something that made your chest ache. he looked tired again. he'd forgotten to shave. his sleeves were rolled to his forearms, revealing his pretty tattoo sleeve. his hair was slightly messy from running his hands through it.
he looked beautiful. you looked away first.
"did you need something?" you asked politely.
the question sounded wrong. too formal. too distant. you hated it. he seemed to hate it too.
"...no."
a pause.
"just grabbing coffee."
"oh."
you stepped aside immediately to let him pass. careful not to brush against him. careful not to stand too close. careful. always so careful now.
he noticed. you knew he did. you could feel the confusion radiating off him. but you couldn't explain it.
because how could you possibly say it.
i liked you too much. i forgot you had a family. i accidentally imagined a life that was never mine.
instead, you smiled politely.
"arin and i are going to paint outside."
he nodded slowly.
"...have fun."
"thank you."
and then you walked away.
before your heart could betray you again.
i like the direction you're taking. the tension is actually stronger now because she's actively trying not to fall any deeper, while he has no idea why she's suddenly pulling away. that creates all kinds of little moments where they're forced together but emotionally miles apart.
something like this would fit your style:
it was exhausting.
you hadn't realized how much of yourself you gave away before you started trying to hold it back.
before, your kindness had been instinctive. if jungkook looked tired, you reminded him to eat. if he looked stressed, you'd make him coffee without asking. if he came home late, you'd wait up just to make sure he'd had dinner. you didn't think about it. you just cared.
now you thought about everything. every word. every glance. every smile. because caring had gotten you hurt. you couldn't let yourself forget that.
you folded another tiny pair of leggings before placing them neatly into arin's dresser. arin called your name. you looked over. she was sitting cross-legged on the rug, surrounded by stuffed animals.
"mhm?"
her head tilted to the side, "why don't you smile at daddy anymore?"
your hands stopped. only for a second.
"...i do."
"not the same."
your heart squeezed. children noticed everything. before you could answer, a knock sounded against the open bedroom door. jungkook. he leaned against the frame, sleeves rolled to his forearms, laptop tucked beneath one arm.
he'd probably come looking for coffee.
or an excuse.
"am i interrupting?"
you stood almost immediately, "no." it was too fast. too formal. his shoulders lowered almost imperceptibly.
"i just..." he glanced toward arin. "i'm taking a break."
"okay."
silence filled the room. before, one of you would've filled it. you would've asked about work. he would've asked what you and arin had been doing. now it just...sat there. it was awkward.
arin looked between both of you before dramatically sighing, "you guys are weird."
both of you looked at her. she frowned.
"you used to talk."
your face immediately warmed.
"arin..."
"you did."
jungkook rubbed the back of his neck, "...we still talk."
"not really."
children were ruthless. you laughed quietly despite yourself. just one tiny laugh. jungkook's eyes lifted immediately. there it was. he hadn't heard you laugh like that since before the play. his chest tightened. he'd missed that sound more than he wanted to admit.
you noticed him looking. your smile disappeared almost instantly.
"...did you need something, mr. jeon?"
the title hurt. he hated it now.
"i..." he hesitated.
what had he needed? he couldn't remember. he'd walked upstairs because he'd heard your voice. because he'd wanted to see you. because working twenty feet away from you all day somehow made him miss you more.
"...coffee," he lied.
you nodded once.
"i'll make you some."
you stepped around him before he could protest. he watched you disappear down the hallway. the sweetness was still there. the willingness to help.
but it wasn't for him anymore. not really. there was distance now. carefully measured distance. like you were making sure not to get too close.
he didn't understand what he'd done. he only knew he hated it.
you stood at the espresso machine, staring at the cup while it filled. don't shake. it's just coffee.
you'd made him coffee dozens of times. your hands shouldn't be trembling. you reached for the mug at the exact same moment another hand did. warm fingers brushed yours.
electricity.
you pulled back so quickly you almost dropped the cup.
"sorry."
the apology came out immediately.
jungkook blinked, "...for what?"
"i..."
you looked down.
"nothing."
he picked up the mug instead. your fingertips had been warm. he could still feel them.
"...thank you," he said quietly.
"you're welcome."
another silence. he looked at you for a long moment. really looked. you'd been avoiding his eyes for days. every conversation ended quickly.
you were still endlessly patient with arin.
but with him, you were slipping away. it felt like watching sand fall through his fingers.
"did i do something?"
the question caught you completely off guard. your head snapped up.
"...what?"
"you're different."
his voice stayed gentle. careful.
"if i said something... or did something..."
your heart cracked.
because he sounded genuinely worried. you wanted to tell him.
i saw you with your wife. i realized i don't belong here. i got attached to something that was never mine
instead, you said, "no.” your smile was small. practiced. "everything's fine."
he knew immediately it wasn't. everything had been "fine" ever since the play.
the week blurred together.
every morning, you told yourself the same thing.
don't fuss.
don't hover.
don't remind him to eat.
don't make his coffee unless he asks.
don't look at him for too long.
don't care so much.
you could do that.
you were an adult.
you had self-control.
...sort of.
it was much easier when he was at the office all day.
now he was just...
there.
everywhere.
twenty feet away behind the office door.
walking into the kitchen between meetings.
passing you in the hallway.
existing.
it made pretending surprisingly difficult.
you found yourself noticing things without trying.
the way he rubbed the back of his neck after every video call.
the way he absentmindedly rolled his sleeves higher whenever he got stressed.
the way he'd stare into the refrigerator like the answer to all his problems might magically appear between the orange juice and leftover pasta.
and every single time—
he'd close it again without taking anything.
you would look away.
you had to.
because once upon a time, you would've already been pulling ingredients out of the pantry.
instead, you focused on arin.
"higher!"
you laughed as you pushed her gently on the backyard swing.
"higher?"
"to the moon!"
"the moon?" you gasped dramatically. "that's very high."
"i'm brave."
"well, in that case..."
you gave her another push.
arin squealed so loudly the sound echoed across the yard.
you couldn't help smiling.
children made everything feel lighter.
you were so busy watching arin laugh that you didn't notice the office window.
or the man standing behind it.
jungkook had been walking to the kitchen for another cup of coffee when he'd glanced outside.
he stopped without meaning to.
you were laughing.
really laughing.
your head tipped back, your cardigan fluttering in the breeze as arin begged for another push.
he watched you clap when she pretended she'd touched the clouds.
"you did it!"
"i almost got the moon!"
"next time you'll definitely get it."
he smiled before he even realized he was doing it. it had been days since he'd smiled that easily. his meetings still waited. his inbox was still overflowing. the renovations still needed approval. none of it disappeared.
and yet, watching you and arin somehow made it all seem quieter. he lingered for another minute. then another, until his phone buzzed with another meeting reminder.
the spell broke.
he sighed and turned back toward his office.
by lunchtime, you were making dinosaur-shaped sandwiches for arin.
well...they were supposed to be dinosaur-shaped. one looked suspiciously like a turtle. another looked like a blob.
arin held one up proudly, "this one's a t-rex."
you squinted, “it can be anything if you believe in yourself.”
arin burst into giggles. the sound drifted through the house. a few seconds later, jungkook wandered into the kitchen. he looked tired. again.
his hair was messier than it had been that morning, his glasses sat lower on his nose, and there was a faint crease between his eyebrows from staring at screens all day.
you noticed all of it immediately.
then immediately scolded yourself for noticing. he crossed straight to the coffee machine.
of course he did. your lips pressed together.
don't say anything.
he waited for the coffee to brew. picked up the mug. turned around. started walking away.
still no food. your eyes followed him.
don't.
don't.
don't.
"...mr. jeon?"
he stopped. turned around, "yeah?"
you blinked innocently, "...um..."
oh no.
you hadn't actually planned what to say. your eyes landed on the plate in front of you.
"do..."
you held up one of the very questionable dinosaur sandwiches.
"...do you want a dinosaur?"
silence. arin looked between both of you. jungkook looked at the sandwich.
then at you.
"...a dinosaur?"
your face immediately warmed.
"it's a stegosaurus."
"...i gathered that."
"it was supposed to look better."
"i think it's adorable."
the word slipped out before he could stop it. adorable. your entire face turned pink.
"the sandwich?"
his ears warmed too.
“…yes.”
a pause.
"and the effort."
your heart gave one embarrassing little flutter. you looked down quickly so he wouldn't see you smiling.
"you don't have to eat it."
"i know."
he walked over anyway. you watched as he picked up the misshapen sandwich without a second thought.
"thank you."
he actually took a bite. your shoulders relaxed without you realizing they had been tense.
"it's good?" you asked hopefully.
he nodded.
"it's very good."
arin smirked, "she made it with love."
you buried your face in your hands.
"arin,” jungkook scolded.
"what?"
"don't say things like that.”
"why?"
"...just because."
jungkook hid his smile behind another bite. he hadn't eaten all day. he hadn't even realized it until you'd held out that ridiculous little dinosaur.
because you'd noticed. again. except this time, you'd tried so hard not to. he could see it. the hesitation. the way you'd caught yourself before saying anything. the way you'd offered him a sandwich instead of asking why he hadn't eaten, like you were trying to take care of him without letting yourself take care of him. it was impossibly sweet.
and somehow, it hurt.
three days later, you were carrying a basket of folded laundry down the hallway when the office door opened.
jungkook stepped out. he swayed. only slightly. but you saw it. your heart dropped. he caught himself against the wall so quickly he probably thought no one had noticed. you noticed. of course you noticed.
he looked pale. really pale.
"daddy?" arin looked up from the floor.
"you okay?"
he smiled automatically.
"yeah, princess."
it wasn't convincing. not even a little. he started walking toward the kitchen. you followed a few steps behind without thinking.
he opened the refrigerator. stared. closed it. opened the pantry. stared again. then sighed.
"...i forgot what i came in here for."
that was it. something inside you cracked. you set the laundry basket down a little too quickly.
"okay."
your voice was tiny. too calm.
"that's enough."
he blinked.
"...what?"
you walked closer, your brows pinched together in genuine worry.
"when was the last time you ate?"
he searched his memory.
"...this morning?"
you looked at the clock.
it was almost four.
"what did you have?"
"...coffee."
you stared at him.
"...coffee isn't breakfast."
he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.
"...i know."
"no," you said softly, shaking your head. "i don't think you do."
you looked so worried it almost made him smile. your hands twisted together nervously. you were clearly trying to stay composed.
trying very hard not to fuss and failing.
"you've been forgetting things all week."
he opened his mouth. you kept going.
"yesterday you called arin by the dog's name."
"we don't have a dog."
"exactly."
arin burst into laughter. you didn't.
"and this morning you put your phone in the refrigerator."
he blinked.
"...i did?"
"yes."
"i thought i lost it."
"because it was next to the orange juice."
he stared at you. then at the refrigerator.
"...oh."
you let out the smallest, most exasperated little sigh. the kind that was all concern and no anger.
"you're running yourself into the ground."
your eyes looked suspiciously shiny now.
"you're forgetting to eat."
"you're forgetting to drink water."
"you're forgetting where you put things."
your voice softened even more.
"you're forgetting to take care of yourself."
the last sentence came out almost as a whisper, like it genuinely broke your heart. jungkook felt something inside him loosen. all week, work had felt endless. meeting after meeting. decision after decision. everything blending together until the days barely felt different.
and then there you were. standing in his kitchen. looking at him like his wellbeing mattered. like he mattered. it was the sweetest thing he'd ever seen.
he wanted to tell you that. instead, he smiled small enough that you almost missed it.
“wow.”
you frowned, "what?"
"you’ve been worrying yourself sick."
your eyes widened. then your face flushed, "i wasn't—"
"you were."
you covered your face for one second, embarrassed.
"i was trying so hard not to."
he laughed. a real laugh this time. the first one you'd heard in days. he looked lighter just from letting you care about him again.
5:00 p.m.
you looked up at the clock.
then toward the office door.
then back at the clock again.
your lips pressed together.
enough was enough.
you knocked twice before letting yourself in.
jungkook didn't notice at first.
his attention stayed fixed on the laptop, fingers moving across the keyboard almost automatically, like they were running on muscle memory alone.
his coffee had gone cold hours ago.
there were three empty mugs scattered across his desk.
you frowned.
"mr. jeon?"
"hm?"
without looking up.
"what time is it?"
he glanced toward the corner of his screen.
"...five?"
"it is."
he nodded absentmindedly.
"okay."
and kept typing.
you waited.
he kept typing.
your eyebrows slowly drew together.
"...what are you doing?"
"finishing one more thing."
you stared at him.
"you've said 'one more thing' four times today."
that finally earned you his attention.
he looked up.
really looked at you.
you were standing there with your arms folded, your cardigan sleeves pulled down over your hands. you weren't angry.
just... adorably determined.
like you'd already made up your mind before walking into the room.
he almost smiled.
"i'm almost done."
"no."
he blinked.
"...no?"
you shook your head once.
"no."
your voice stayed as soft as ever.
sweet.
gentle.
but underneath it was a firmness he hadn't heard from you before.
"you're done."
he leaned back in his chair.
"...i don't think i am."
"i do."
you walked farther into the office, stopping beside his desk.
he watched you with quiet amusement.
without saying a word, you reached over.
folded the laptop shut.
the screen went black.
he stared at it.
then slowly looked back up at you.
"...did you just fire me?"
the corners of your mouth twitched.
"temporarily."
"i'm the ceo."
"and i'm very concerned about the ceo."
his chest warmed so quickly it almost embarrassed him.
you looked at him for another second before your expression softened even more.
"you've been rubbing your eyes all afternoon."
he blinked.
"you've had four coffees."
"...three."
"that's not better."
you glanced toward the hallway.
"your bed is that way."
he followed your gaze.
then looked back at you.
"...you're bossy."
your eyes widened immediately.
"i'm not bossy."
"a little."
"...i'm worried."
your voice became so quiet he almost missed it.
"that's different."
he knew.
that was the dangerous part.
every word came from genuine concern.
not obligation.
not because he paid you.
because you cared.
he pushed his chair back with an exaggerated sigh.
"well."
he stood.
"i suppose i don't have much choice."
your shoulders relaxed immediately.
"good."
he took two steps toward the door before pausing beside you.
"...what if i answer one email?"
you gave him a look.
not a glare.
just one of those tiny disappointed looks that somehow made him feel guilty.
"mr. jeon."
"...right."
he laughed quietly under his breath.
"worth asking."
you smiled despite yourself.
"nice try."
he slipped past you, brushing close enough that you caught the clean scent of his laundry detergent.
your heart fluttered.
you ignored it.
he disappeared down the hallway toward his bedroom without another complaint.
to your complete surprise...
he actually listened.
you stood there for another second, looking at the closed laptop.
"...good."
you whispered it mostly to yourself.
less than ten minutes later, you walked past his room on your way downstairs.
the bedroom door was cracked open.
you couldn't help glancing inside.
he was asleep already.
one arm thrown over his eyes.
still wearing the t-shirt and sweatpants he'd changed into during lunch.
he must have been exhausted enough to fall asleep the moment his head touched the pillow.
your shoulders dropped.
good.
he needed this.
more than he'd ever admit.
you quietly pulled the bedroom door almost shut so the afternoon sunlight wouldn't wake him.
then tiptoed away.
the rest of the evening felt peaceful.
arin insisted on watching the same animated movie she'd watched dozens of times before.
you didn't argue.
mostly because she recited half the dialogue before the characters did.
"you're cheating," you whispered.
"i'm helping."
"the movie doesn't need help."
"it does."
you laughed, pulling her gently against your side.
"okay, okay."
she beamed proudly.
by the time the credits rolled, her eyelids were drooping.
"sleepy?"
she shook her head immediately.
then yawned so hard her whole little body curled forward.
"...no."
you smiled.
"really?"
another enormous yawn.
"...maybe."
"that's what i thought."
you carried her upstairs.
helped her brush her teeth.
changed her into soft pajamas covered in little strawberries.
tucked her favorite bunny beneath one arm before pulling the blankets up to her chin.
just as you turned toward the door—
"pretty nanny?"
you looked back.
"yeah, sweetheart?"
arin blinked sleepily.
"...daddy smiled today."
your heart paused.
"...he did."
"he doesn't smile much."
you brushed a few strands of hair away from her forehead.
"...i noticed."
arin smiled.
"i like when he smiles."
your own smile softened.
"...me too."
the words slipped out before you could stop them.
within seconds, she was asleep.
you stood there another moment, watching her breathe peacefully before quietly slipping out of the room.
your shift was over.
you grabbed your tote bag and sent a quick text.
you: arin's asleep 🤍 i'm heading home. have a good night.
you slipped your phone into your pocket.
sat on the little bench by the front door.
pulled on one heel.
then the other.
your hand had just reached for the doorknob when—
"you're leaving already?"
you turned.
your breath caught.
jungkook stood at the end of the hallway.
his hair was messy from sleep.
he'd changed into a soft gray sweatshirt.
the dark circles beneath his eyes hadn't disappeared completely, but they weren't nearly as harsh anymore.
he looked...
rested.
comfortable.
beautiful.
you quickly looked away.
"...i didn't mean to wake you."
"you didn't."
his voice was lower now.
still thick with sleep.
"i woke up on my own."
he walked toward you slowly.
there was something different about him.
lighter.
like he'd finally remembered what it felt like to breathe.
he stopped a few feet away.
"i slept almost four hours."
your face brightened before you could stop it.
"really?"
he nodded.
"best sleep i've had in months."
your smile grew.
small.
genuine.
"i'm really glad."
he watched your expression soften.
watched relief spread across your face as though you'd been carrying his exhaustion right alongside him.
it made something inside him ache.
he scratched the back of his neck.
"i called off tomorrow."
you blinked.
"...you did?"
"yeah."
"that's good."
you nodded immediately.
"you should rest."
"...i'm planning to."
a comfortable silence settled between you.
you smiled politely.
"well..."
your hand found the doorknob again.
"...i'll see you monday."
"actually."
you looked back.
"...still come tomorrow."
your hand paused.
"...i thought i wasn't working."
"you are."
his answer came almost too quickly.
he cleared his throat.
"i'll probably still be sleeping."
he shrugged.
"arin will still need somebody."
it wasn't a lie.
just not the whole truth.
the whole truth was embarrassingly simple.
he wanted to wake up knowing you were somewhere in the house.
wanted to hear your laugh downstairs.
wanted to hear you talking to arin while the morning sun filled the kitchen.
wanted...
you.
you hesitated.
"...are you sure?"
"yeah."
again.
too fast.
he looked away.
"if you don't mind."
your smile returned.
gentle.
"of course i don't mind."
another silence.
soft.
dangerous.
he looked at you for a long moment.
"thank you."
your head tilted.
"...for what?"
"today."
his eyes stayed on yours.
"for making me stop."
your heart fluttered.
"i don't think anyone's made me rest in..." he laughed quietly. "honestly, i can't remember."
you smiled before you could stop yourself.
"...i'm sorry."
he frowned.
"for what?"
"for making you take a nap."
"don't apologize for that."
"...or for being pushy."
his expression softened.
"you weren't pushy."
"you called me bossy."
"i was teasing you."
"...oh."
a tiny embarrassed smile tugged at your lips.
he had to look away before he stared too long.
"you were right," he said quietly.
"i needed it."
those four words slipped straight through the cracks in your heart.
don't.
please don't.
he looked healthier already.
his shoulders weren't so tense.
his eyes weren't so tired.
and seeing that...
made you happier than it should have.
because this was how it had started before.
first you cared.
then you worried.
then you hoped.
then you dreamed.
and dreaming had broken your heart.
your fingers tightened around the strap of your tote.
you took one careful step backward.
the wall went back up.
quietly.
carefully.
where it belonged.
your smile became smaller.
more polite.
more professional.
"...i'm just happy you're feeling better."
he noticed it immediately.
the distance.
it was back.
right when he'd almost forgotten it was there.
"...i'll see you tomorrow."
before he could think of another excuse to keep you talking, you opened the door.
"goodnight, mr. jeon."
the title landed harder than it should have.
he watched you walk toward the bus stop at the end of the street, your dress swaying gently in the evening breeze.
he stayed standing in the doorway long after you disappeared from view.
the house wasn't empty.
arin was still upstairs.
the lights were still on.
the television was still humming softly in the living room.
but somehow...
it felt quieter.
like something warm had just walked out the front door.
and for the first time in years, he wasn't looking forward to tomorrow because it meant another day away from work.
he was looking forward to tomorrow because it meant you'd be back.
that night, you dreamed.
you'd spent the entire bus ride home reminding yourself why none of this could happen.
he had a family.
you were his nanny.
you were getting attached to something that had never belonged to you.
you repeated it until the words lost their meaning.
it didn't matter.
because dreams didn't listen to reason.
they listened to your heart.
and your heart had been very quiet for a very long time.
"goodnight, mr. jeon."
your hand settled on the doorknob.
just like it had.
you turned it.
pulled the front door open.
cool evening air brushed against your face.
"wait."
his voice stopped you.
you looked back.
he was still standing in the hallway.
still wearing the oversized gray sweatshirt.
his hair was still messy from sleep.
he looked at you for a long moment.
like he was trying to find the right words.
you smiled softly.
"...what is it?"
instead of answering, he walked toward you.
slowly.
your heartbeat began to climb.
one step.
then another.
until he was standing so close you could smell the clean scent of laundry detergent clinging to his sweatshirt.
he searched your face.
you suddenly forgot how to breathe.
"...why do you keep hiding from me?"
your lips parted.
"i'm not."
"you are."
his voice was gentle.
never accusing.
just...
sad.
"i miss you."
the words were so quiet you almost thought you'd imagined them.
your heart ached.
"i'm right here."
"no."
he shook his head once.
"you're not."
his eyes searched yours again.
"you're somewhere behind that wall."
you felt tears prick unexpectedly.
because somehow...
he knew.
he reached up carefully.
his fingertips brushed a loose curl away from your face.
so gentle.
so impossibly gentle.
your eyes fluttered closed.
"jungkook..."
it was the first time you'd said his name in days.
his expression softened immediately.
"there you are."
your chest tightened.
you looked at him.
really looked at him.
his eyes.
his smile.
the relief written across his face just because you'd let yourself soften for a second.
you couldn't stop yourself anymore.
you stepped closer.
just enough that your foreheads almost touched.
"i tried so hard," you whispered.
"i know."
"i didn't want to..."
your voice trembled.
"...to make things harder."
he smiled sadly.
"you only made them harder by pretending you didn't care."
silence settled between you.
warm.
quiet.
full of everything neither of you had been brave enough to say.
his hand found yours.
your fingers fit together so naturally it almost frightened you.
"look at me."
you did.
he smiled.
the softest smile you'd ever seen.
"you're allowed to care."
your eyes filled.
"...and you?"
he didn't answer with words.
he leaned in slowly, giving you every chance to move away.
you didn't.
his lips brushed yours in the lightest kiss.
so soft it barely happened.
your breath caught.
when he pulled back, he rested his forehead against yours.
"i've wanted to do that," he admitted quietly.
you laughed through watery eyes.
"...me too."
this time, you kissed him first.
shy.
hesitant.
your hand found the front of his sweatshirt, bunching the fabric lightly in your fingers as if you needed something to steady yourself.
he smiled against your lips.
his free hand settled gently at your waist, holding you with quiet certainty, drawing you just a little closer.
the kiss deepened only slightly, still unhurried, filled with tenderness more than urgency.
it felt less like fireworks and more like coming home.
when you finally pulled back, you couldn't stop smiling.
neither could he.
he rested his forehead against yours again.
"there's my girl."
your entire face burned.
you buried it against his shoulder, laughing shyly.
"don't say things like that."
"why?"
"because..."
you hid even farther.
"...i'll fall in love with you."
he wrapped his arms around you.
holding you like you'd always belonged there.
"too late."
you woke with your heart racing.
morning light spilled across your bedroom ceiling.
for one impossible second, you reached toward the empty side of the bed.
then reality returned.
your hand fell back onto the mattress.
you covered your face with both hands.
“oh no."
it had only been a dream. a dream that made everything worse.
sleep did absolutely nothing to help.
if anything, it made everything worse.
you stood in front of your bathroom mirror that morning for nearly five minutes, toothbrush hanging limply from your mouth as flashes of the dream replayed in humiliating detail.
his hand around your waist.
the kiss.
the way he'd looked at you.
you groaned into your toothbrush.
"get a grip."
he hadn't done any of that.
it wasn't real.
he wasn't secretly in love with you.
he certainly wasn't waiting upstairs somewhere, ready to pull you into his bedroom the second he saw you.
you rinsed your mouth aggressively, as though mouthwash could somehow erase your subconscious.
it couldn't.
you spent the bus ride to the jeon house giving yourself a lecture.
you were there to take care of arin.
that was it.
you were not there to stare at her father.
you were not there to think about kissing him.
and you were definitely not going to remember the way dream jungkook had looked at you.
simple.
easy.
except...
the second you walked through the front door and saw his shoes by the entryway, your stomach flipped anyway.
"pretty nanny!"
arin came barreling toward you before you could even finish taking off your coat.
you smiled immediately.
"good morning, sweetheart."
she wrapped herself around your waist.
"dad's still sleeping."
"he is?"
arin nodded seriously.
"he's being sleepy."
you laughed.
"well, we should let him."
"i know," she whispered dramatically. "i told alexa to be quiet."
"that was very thoughtful."
you kissed the top of her head.
"come on. let's make breakfast."
the morning passed quietly.
pancakes.
cartoons.
building a blanket fort that immediately collapsed.
a tea party with stuffed animals.
it was almost enough to distract you.
almost.
because every now and then your eyes drifted toward the staircase without meaning to.
wondering if he was awake.
wondering if he'd come downstairs.
wondering—
stop.
you forced yourself to focus on arin instead.
around noon, soft footsteps sounded overhead.
your shoulders stiffened instinctively.
don't look.
don't—
"morning."
his voice was rough with sleep.
you looked anyway.
big mistake.
he'd changed into gray sweatpants and a black t-shirt sometime after waking up. his hair was still messy, sticking up in every direction.
your dream chose that exact moment to replay itself.
your face immediately heated.
"g-good morning."
you looked away so quickly your neck almost hurt.
jungkook frowned slightly.
that was strange.
he'd been hoping yesterday had broken whatever wall had settled between you.
instead, it somehow seemed taller.
he walked into the kitchen.
"smells good."
"thank you."
it was short. polite.
he looked at you for another second before opening the refrigerator.
"did you make enough for me too?"
you nodded without looking at him.
"of course."
he smiled to himself.
you still couldn't help taking care of him.
that made something warm settle in his chest.
the three of you sat down to eat together.
arin happily drowned her pancakes in syrup.
you quietly cut strawberries.
jungkook watched the two of you for a moment before finally speaking.
"i actually slept."
you glanced up.
"really?"
he nodded.
"best sleep i've had in months."
your shoulders relaxed a little.
"i'm glad."
"although..." he scratched the back of his neck. "i couldn't fall asleep for a while."
your fork paused.
"no?"
"yeah."
he laughed softly.
"my mom always used to say that if you can't sleep, it's because someone's thinking about you."
you froze.
completely.
your heartbeat stopped.
your dream.
oh no.
did he—
your hand slipped.
your fork clattered against the plate.
arin looked up.
"pretty nanny?"
you grabbed your water so quickly you nearly knocked it over.
"i'm okay."
you took a drink.
then another.
trying desperately to remember how breathing worked.
jungkook blinked.
"are you okay?"
"mhm."
your voice cracked.
wonderful.
he tilted his head.
"you don't look okay."
"i swallowed wrong."
another lie.
another sip of water.
anything to avoid looking at him.
he smiled a little.
"i never really believed my mom."
you forced yourself to ask, "why not?"
"because statistically, somebody's probably always thinking about somebody."
he shrugged.
"it doesn't seem that mysterious."
you let out a tiny laugh.
thank goodness.
he didn't know.
of course he didn't know.
you'd nearly given yourself a heart attack over an old superstition.
"what?" he asked, smiling now.
"nothing."
"you laughed."
"did i?"
"you did."
heat crept back into your cheeks.
"i just..."
you smiled shyly into your plate.
"...i think your mom sounds sweet."
his expression softened immediately.
"she is."
you nodded.
"i'd like to meet her someday."
the words slipped out before you thought about them.
jungkook looked at you.
really looked at you.
his mother would adore you.
the thought arrived so naturally it startled him.
she'd absolutely adore you.
she'd tell him to marry you within a week.
he almost laughed at himself.
instead, he simply smiled.
"i think she'd like you."
your heart fluttered so hard it almost hurt.
you immediately lowered your eyes again before he could see how much those five words meant to you.
because they meant far too much.
author’s note:
i wanted to make this longer but tumblr did the 1,000 blocks thing :( on the bright side, the next chapter is coming out VERY soon.
btw i’m very open to story suggestions so if you want something to happen lmk and id love to try and incorporate it if it works!
your uni boyfriend jungkook has been missing you after weeks of being apart, both of you busy with classes and exams. through late night texts, he finally admits just how much he needs you. one thing leads to another and before you know it, you're sneaking into his dorm room... and he needs to be inside your pussy even if his roommate sleeps only a few feet away.
PAIRING ﹕ bf!jungkook x gf!f.reader
GENRE ﹕ established relationship au, smut, fluff, angst
WARNINGS ﹕ 18+, explicit smut, yearning and sexual fantasies, sexting, sharing nudes, mutual maturation while on a phone call, multiple orgasms, reader grinds on the edge of the table, cock fisting and stroking, spit kink, dirty talk and praise kink, she sneaks into his dorm at night, they struggle to stay quiet, risky/semi-public sex, makeout and hickies, oral sex (f. receiving), so much teasing, clit play, breast and nipple play, fingering, pussy eating, cum play, edging and overstimulation, oral sex (m. receiving), blowjob, he's so sensitive, multiple positions, scratching and biting, creampie, slow and rough sex, cum stuffing and cockwarming, they almost get caught, sweet loving aftercare, more tags to be added...
WC ﹕ 15k+ ( estimated )
NOTE ﹕ enjoy this little teaser of the oneshot i'm currently working on sweet loves! i'm hoping to post it soon <3
TAGLIST ﹕ OPEN .ᐟ
❪ MASTERLIST | READ ON WATTPAD ❫
“shh baby…”
jungkook's roommate was asleep just a few feet away on the other bed but your boyfriend clearly didn't care.
his body pressed tight on you under the thin blanket, his weight deliciously heavy.
“gotta stay quiet yeah?”
he whispered hotly against your ear before placing a soft kiss against it.
“kookie…” you breathed.
you bite your bottom lip hard as his hand found your soaked panties, fingers finding your swollen pussy folds and the amount of arousal you were producing for him.
he groans at the feel of it and how your clit throbs right against his thumb.
“you're so wet already, you like this huh? risking it with him right there.”
you nodded, heart pounding.
the fear of getting caught any moment only seemed to heighten the moment and make you even hornier.
it made you feel naughty and shameless but you ached for him so much.
your lips part wantonly when he pushes your panties aside, his middle finger traced the shape of your slit, swiping against your clit in a way that makes your entire back arch.
you buried your face in the pillow to muffle your moan.
“mmph!”
he has teased you so much in the earlier texts and the masturbation has left you so sensitive.
it felt like you could cum any moment even before he touched you properly.
the pleasure of building quick and sharp
you pulled him close, fisting the back of his hair, his tongue traces the seam of your lip which you parted willingly until both your tongues intertwined in a sloppy hot makeout.
the tip of his finger penetrated you along with the sex motions of his tongue.
he swallowed the cute little noises escaping you while he panted.
he growled when with one slippery impatient rock of your hips, you took his long finger all the way inside.
“yesss.”
you let out a cry louder than you intended, from the relief of having some part of him inside you.
“sweet girl you need to be—”
jungkook's rushed voice got cut off for a second, a sudden creak made you both freeze, wide lustful eyes locked onto each other.
you heard the noise of sheets rustling, followed by a sleepy voice.
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“ You make me sick, you found somebody when I didn’t take you serious.”—
WARNING: SMUT. SITUATIONSHIP. Nasty talk ( in korean hehe). MDNI.
APRIL 20, 2026 - NYC, NEW YORK.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this.
You had common sense, something your mother made sure you knew how to use in your life. So why did all of her teachings find themselves out the window ? For a man at that ?
She’d be devastated.
“ my bad mama.” You mumbled to yourself.
You sat on your couch, finally being able to relax after a long day of work. Teaching 10th grade English wasn’t for the weak. Yet it was the reward of knowing you changed a life that kept you going. Those kids were your world, nothing could change that.
That’s what drew him in. Your passion for teaching. Well your face and ass definitely were on the top of his list too but that’s another story.
It was a Saturday afternoon in the fall of 2023 when the both of you crossed paths. The chill of the late September air knocked against your clothes begging to be let in, while it filled your lungs with a delightful crisp, that only autumn could bring. You pulled your chocolate colored leather trench coat tighter to your body, as you made your way to get the perfect hot chocolate. Your destination was the cafe just 2 blocks from your house. You were a regular there and prayed no one would be holding up the line.
You approached the place and walked inside. The smell of sweet treats and coffee kissed your senses. There was an aura of calmness within the environment. No one was rushing, everyone came here to just relax and unwind.
“ Hey y/n good to see you ! Blueberry muffin ?”
“You know it !” You chuckled
The barista Korin nodded getting started on your order. You found a table and sat down and pulled out your MacBook, deciding to catch up on some plans during the wait. Soon your drink was brought to you and the first sip made you scrunch your nose. What was this and who the hell made it ?
You got up and immediately went to return the beverage. You noticed a man doing the same thing. He was polite, and a little shy about it all.
You stepped in realizing the mix up.
“Hi, um I think our orders were mixed up?” You smiled.
The man turned to you and paused.
You were beautiful. The glasses that sat on the bridge of your nose, your freshly dyed ginger silk press seemed to glow under the lights and your lips
Your lips.
Full, pouty and covered in a brown gloss.
“ hello ? “ you said to him again
The man shook his head “ sorry but um I do think it was a mistake.” He giggled.
You nodded agreeing. He was cute, eyebrow piercing, hat pulled low with the biggest doe eyes you ever seen.
The embarrassed barista cut in “ I am so sorry, lll remake them free of charge ! “
You smiled “ it’s fine I’ll still pay, I know it was an accident Korin. “
“ you cantttt, remember teachers salary ?”
You laughed “ I know I know, but I’m not cheap and I know you work hard. I’ll cover mine and his”
You looked to the man again and flashed a smile.
And it was in that moment, he decided he wanted to get to know you.
Fast forward to your next meeting .
You rolled your eyes at the memory. He got your number, mostly spoke Korean but his English was pretty good. He told you about his job and his friends, his dreams, and you did too. It took a month before you seen him in person again. He was a very busy man and not the most consistent. He was back in NY again and really wanted to see you. You invited him over, and when you opened your door you couldn’t help but to laugh.
“ you know Kook…your disguise makes you stand out more. We know it’s you baby.”
Baby. God he loved when you called him that
He walked in laughing “ yea I know I need something better”
The both of you talked, traded stories and shared some wine. His debut solo album was ready for rollout, everything was set in place before he would leave in December. Something he’s expressed to you that he wasn’t ready for.
By the end of the night the both of you got more comfortable, the wine in your systems eased in a heavy atmosphere with each passing glance.
Laying on your couch your fingers ran through his hair “ you’re so pretty y/n” Jungkook whispered. “ thank you baby” you smirked. You seen him shudder, he inched closer to your lips “ you’re welcome “baby”. He dipped down placing his lips on yours before you deepened the kiss. He traveled down to your neck finding the spot that turned you on instantly. He gave a light duck on the area, your breathy moans filled the air. “ I need you kook”
He took the hint and found his hands pulling your shorts down. Your slicked covered pussy was sticking to your panties, Jungkook peeled them off with heavy anticipation. “ you’re so wet.” He mumbled.
He pulled his sweats down a bit to grab himself and slide right in
“ condom jungkook.” You reminded him.
Right right.
He grabbed his wallet and took out a condom, ripping the packing open he then rolled it down his thick length. You glanced down. Oh. That’s a big dick. Jungkook noticed your look. “ just breathe” he smirked. He slid into you until he bottomed out. “ oh shit” you moaned.
He started a heavy pace, pulling out then dropping back in, your legs were being pushed back to your ears. “당신은 정말 완벽하다고 느끼십니다.” he moaned.
He was relentless, jungkook was fucking you into your couch without remorse. “ 이 보지가 내 거라고 말해줘.” His voice was deep and full. “ mmmm yes oh my god, yes don’t stop.” You didn’t speak Korean but whatever he was saying sounded so sexy. You felt your orgasm approaching. After a few more thrusts your body began to shake from the waves of pleasure soon he filled up the condom and pulled out.
You both laid there bathing in the moonlight, before he turned to look at you. “ I leave soon, it will be a long time.” You nodded because you knew this. He belonged to the world, Jeon Jungkook was never going to be yours. You were both on the same page.
Right?
WRONG. You liked that man.
He left your apartment that night with promises he definitely couldn’t keep. One of them being he’ll keep in contact and he’ll miss you. You seen him twice again before he left and he put you through the mattress each time and watched you lesson plan. Something he found quite cute about you. Then you seen the pictures of him walking home with some woman in Korea. It was October of 2025 when you heard from him again. Just a quick text that you ignored. Then another came in then another and then a phone call. Which you also ignored. You had other shit to worry about not some man across the world.
February 2026.
You got a FaceTime call from a very very drunk jungkook. You answered not thinking much till you seen him.
“Y/n he whispered. He gave a dopey smile “ my y/n” I’ve been thinking about you it’s been so long”
“Hey J, it’s good to see you too” you said softly.
“I’ll be in New York next month I missed you, I want to see you.”
You smiled your mind telling you to not get your hopes up. But those eyes…what did ARMY call them ? Boba eyes ?
You couldn’t say no.
“Okay J. “ You laughed. Jungkook cheesed at you happy he was finally able to reach the person who’s lived in his mind since first meeting you.
You never saw him. He did come to NY. Looked sexy as hell. BTS was at Pier 17 promoting their new album Arirang and all the videos from Tik tok had you hot and bothered. But he didn’t come see you, didn’t call, didn’t text. No he went on tour right after.
PRESENT - June 2026- Madrid.
BTS didn’t exist to you anymore. Jungkook was erased from your mind as you laid on the beach in Madrid. Your knotless braids tied in a high bun, your bikini small and your ass on full display. You were enjoying the summer break accordingly. You were on a trip with a few friends , and the fun was just starting. After your beach trip you guys went to a small store. Inside you heard the chatter
“ I think that’s him… that’s RM”
You rolled your eyes. RM ?
That only meant the man you wanted to mentally get away from was physically in the same place as you. You pulled out your phone and searched
“ where is BTS right now “
“ currently BTS is in Madrid for the international leg of their Arirang world tour”
Great now Google has you irritated too.
You sucked your teeth. You hurried and left the store with your friends and began some sight seeing. You spent the day in museums, eating GREAT food and watching dancers perform their very best flamenco as their dresses flowed with swift movements.
The Spanish night crept in, breaking the heatwave that overtook the country. Your best friend plopped down next to you on the couch .“ this is our cheetah girls moment ! SMILE!“ and that gave you a bright idea “ Hey Alexa play cheetah girls 2 soundtrack “
It was only right.
Strut began to play as you and your girls got up to sing. Your phone began to ring, you disregarded the call it could wait.
After 3 more songs your phone began to ring again. Your friend picked it up
“ Oop, it’s your pop star ”
You rolled your eyes, and fought back the smirk daring to show
“I think he called himself an international playboy !” Your other friend chimed in
“I see yall got jokes,” you laughed.
“You not gonna pick up?” Another friend added
“Why would she? She got Gabriel at home.’
That’s right Gabriel… fine ass, country accent, with the prettiest smile. You shook your head as your friends conversed amongst themselves.
“They not serious ! She can do what she wants.”
That’s right.. You and Gabe weren’t official.
“The question is y/n what do you wanna do ? “
You sat there for a second as your close friends waited for an answer.
You let out a deep sigh before picking up the call.
“ Hello?”
His voice filled your ears, softly “ You’re in Madrid? Where ?”
Well damn, what happened to Hi and Hello? You thought to yourself. You cleared your throat before responding, “Yea.. I am.”
You heard the man mumble something in Korean. “You posted a picture at the beach earlier, then my Hyungs seen you at a store and the art museum.”
He knew your instagram ? They knew about you ? Now why the hell did they all have to be outside ?
Messy boots.
If he had your IG that means he seen your date nights with Gabe….
Messy.
“ Yea I’m here ,I’m on vacation.” You told him
“Tell me where you are, I’ll send a car.”
You bit your lip and looked at your girls for help. They smiled and gave a thumbs up as if the earlier discussion meant nothing
You gave him your address quietly.
“ A car will be there soon ,I can wait to see you.”
You didn’t get your hopes up. Not again. Yet 20 minutes later a car did appear and suddenly you were on your way to see a man You haven’t seen in almost 2 1/2 years.
You were escorted through the back of the hotel, directly to Jungkook’s room. He opened the door in shorts and a tank top. His tattoo on full display and his hair still a bit wet.
He welcomed you in with a shy hello.
After a few minutes of silence, you spoke. “ what do you want kook. Because I am enjoying my vacation and”—
“You have a boyfriend ?” He cut you off.
You furrowed your brows in confusion
“What ?” You asked.
“Do you have a boyfriend ? Is that why you don’t answer anymore ?”
You felt your irritation grow stronger.
“No I didn’t want to keep waiting on you,so I found someone else.” you responded
Jungkook tilted his head and stared at you.
“ you said it was mine… “ he trailed off
“It was just sex !”
“You found someone else” his tone was flat, almost as if he was disappointed.
“He makes me happy”
“I can make you happy”
“This is the first time I’m seeing you in years”
“I’ve been busy”
“I’m not looking for an explanation”
“Well I’m giving one”
You took a deep breath. God, he had a smart ass mouth. “I should’ve never came.” You mumbled. Jungkook walked closer to you.
“Then I would’ve came to you.”
You pulled away rolling your eyes, “You don’t take me serious,”
The man in front of you, took in the seriousness of your face and one. He wet his lips, “I missed you, I want to try this again.”
“There’s nothing to try”
“Is this about the boyfriend ? He can go.”
“No this is about me ! My feelings Jungkook.”
The tattooed man stood there with his tongue in his cheek.
“Can I show you how I’m serious I am.”
………………………
You rode Jungkook on your toes. His half lidded gaze never left for your form. He would moan out in Korean then pull you close as he whispered filthy words in your ears. His hands gripped the fat of your ass, plopping you back down. Your arousal leaving a shiny coating along his length.
“Why would you find someone?” He asked you.
He pulled you down towards him once more and locked his arms around your waist.
“ Am I not good enough ?”
Your eyes rolled into the back of your head
“Oh baby you are… you’re so good . So so so good to me.” You whined.
Jungkook captured your lips into a sloppy kiss, as he slowed down his pace.
You let out a moan as your foreheads touched. You felt his fingers dig into your hips to lift you up to match his shallow thrusts.
“나 진짜 빌어먹을 정도로 가까워.”
Jungkook wrap his hand lightly around your throat, and pulled back. He stared at you intensely as you felt the coil in your lower belly start to unravel.
“ I’m about to cum, please. Please don’t stop.” You were so out of breath, he was literally fucking the air out of your lungs.
“Say you’re mine” he whispered. You felt your body shake, with pleasure. Apparently your lack of a response was an issue.
“Y/n Say it. Tell me you’re mine and he means nothing.”
This man was insane. But God he felt so good. Too good.
“ it’s yours. I’m yours. “ you cried out
“And he means nothing y/n?”
You let out a pornographic moan.
“Y/N”
“He means nothing Jungkook oh my god.”Your body began to convulse as white filled your vision. Jungkook was below you, digging into your guts through your orgasm
“Good. I’m happy.”
Soon after you finished he finished inside of you . Currenly you both were lying down, his arms wrapped around your waist. A comfortable silence filled the hotel room. This was one of the things that he truly did miss. You didnt try to fill in the quiet with atmosphere, no. You simply let it be.
. “ I know I left but I’m very serious. I like you a lot” Jungkook spoke softly.
“I’m not sure what you want from me J. I have my own life, we don’t live in the same time zone let alone continent…our worlds don’t align baby.”
Jungkook smiled at you.
“I love when you call me baby, i like..how you say it.”
You hit his chest “ I’m serious ! “
Jungkook giggled “ I hear you…” he then got quiet.
What was the end game ? Is all that filled your head.
“ while you’re not teaching stay with me on tour. Travel the world. You don’t have to worry about anything 자기야”
He was serious…You looked at him like he had 5 heads “ then you leave me in the dust after tour?” You had to be honest.
He shook his head “ no…I don’t know what comes next I just don’t want this to stop. “
You sat for a second going over the decision. You only live once, when else will you travel the world with your fine ass situationship on his dime? Exactly.
“Okay I’ll come.” You smiled. Jungkook leaned in to kiss your forehead with a soft smile. This could work. You both thought.
“ Now go breakup with “ gabe”
You laughed “ jealous? “
‘Yes.” He deadpanned. You began to laugh even harder. Jungkook on the other hand, was not amused
“ I can’t believe you know his name. You sure you don’t have a secret girl I should know about?”
“내 사랑, that would be you.’
You cackled, “you ate that.. okay.” Jungkook found himself laughing with you. The absurdity of it all was funny. After he laughter died down he turned to you again
“No seriously call him break up with him. When you get back we… can go over everything” he wasn’t letting up. Gabe had to go.
You gave an okay and went to handle it.
This was your life now
fuck it. You thought
“공주님, meet me in the shower okay ?”
Oh yea you can definitely get used to this.
First time really writing about JK lol, keep in mind this in no way reflects who he is, remember it is all fantasy !
SUMMARY -> jungkook, a divorced single dad, falls for his daughter’s nanny.
TROPES -> she falls first he falls harder, yearning, age gap, angst, hurt comfort, absent mother, jungkook is a little pathetic
now playing: back to me - the marías˚.⋆♪
SERIES MASTERLIST ❦ MAIN MASTERLIST
PREVIOUS CHAPTER ❦ NEXT CHAPTER
08: home
the front door clicked shut behind them.
silence settled over the house immediately.
it felt wrong.
too quiet.
jungkook stood in the foyer for a long moment, loosening his tie with one hand.
normally, arin would've been running through the hallway in her pajamas by now.
normally, you'd still be lingering by the door, reminding him not to forget the leftovers in the refrigerator or asking if he wanted coffee before you left.
instead, there was nothing.
just him and yoonseo.
she slipped off her heels without a word, setting them neatly beside the door like she'd never left this house in the first place. arin was at a friend’s house for her first ever sleepover.
"arin looked happy," she said.
jungkook only hummed.
"she always liked school plays."
another hum. he walked toward the kitchen without looking back. he needed water. he needed silence. he needed about a thousand miles between himself and this conversation.
behind him, he heard leather scrape. the sound of a purse opening. paper rustling.
his jaw tightened before he even turned around.
when he did, there it was.
a manila folder.
she set it neatly on the kitchen island.
"sign them."
he stared at it. didn't touch it. didn't even look down. instead, he looked at her. really looked at her. the expensive coat. perfect makeup. the detached expression she'd worn almost the entire afternoon.
his jaw flexed.
"...seriously?"
yoonseo folded her arms.
"i've been waiting two weeks."
"you've been hounding me for two weeks."
"same difference."
he let out a humorless laugh.
"you flew to america for paperwork?"
"i was already nearby."
"don't."
his voice came out flat.
"don't insult my intelligence."
she didn't answer.
because they both knew. she hadn't come for arin. she hadn't suddenly missed being a mother. she'd come because her lawyer told her an in-person visit would get the papers signed faster.
that realization settled into his chest like lead. he stared at the folder. then slowly looked back up at her.
"...you really used her."
yoonseo's expression barely changed.
"don't be dramatic."
"dramatic?"
he laughed once.
"you walked into that school today pretending to be mother of the year."
"i am her mother."
"biologically."
that finally earned him a reaction.
her eyes narrowed.
"careful."
"no."
he stepped closer.
"you be careful."
the kitchen suddenly felt much smaller.
he couldn't stop now.
months of resentment clawed their way to the surface.
"do you know what her favorite movie is?"
silence.
"do you know what stuffed animal she sleeps with?"
nothing.
"what teacher she has?"
"..."
"what size shoes she wears?"
she looked away.
he laughed bitterly.
"exactly."
"i've been busy."
"everyone is busy."
his voice rose despite himself.
"i'm busy."
he pointed toward the empty hallway.
"i'm the one getting her ready every morning."
another step.
"i'm the one packing lunches."
another.
"i'm the one sitting through parent-teacher conferences."
another.
"i'm the one holding her when she cries because she thinks her mom forgot her birthday."
yoonseo's expression hardened.
"i didn't forget."
"you called three days later."
"i was overseas."
"you have a phone."
silence.
the kind that only existed between people who had already run out of things worth saving.
she sighed.
"are you done?"
he stared at her.
"...that's all you have to say?"
"what do you want from me?"
she sounded tired. not guilty. tired. like this conversation was inconveniencing her. he shook his head slowly.
"nothing."
his voice dropped.
"i stopped expecting anything from you a long time ago."
something flickered across her face. gone almost immediately.
instead, she smiled.
small. sharp.
"interesting."
he frowned.
"what."
"you seem... emotional today."
he didn't answer. she leaned casually against the island.
"i wonder why."
his stomach tightened. he recognized that look. she wasn't finished. not even close.
"it couldn't possibly have anything to do with your nanny."
he looked at her evenly.
"leave her out of this."
"why?"
she tilted her head innocently.
"she's clearly become part of the household."
his jaw tightened.
"she works for me."
"mhm."
she nodded slowly.
"that's one word for it."
he felt irritation creep beneath his skin.
"say what you actually mean."
she smiled wider.
"she's sweet."
silence.
"very pretty."
he said nothing.
"very young."
still nothing.
"how old is she?"
"..."
"twenty?"
he didn't answer.
"twenty-one?"
his stare stayed fixed on her. she laughed quietly.
"god."
another shake of her head.
"she practically still looks like a student."
because she was. he hated that she'd even said it.
"she is a student," he replied coldly.
"exactly."
another smile.
"which makes all of this..."
she gestured vaguely.
"...interesting."
"there is no 'all of this.'"
"isn't there?"
she looked almost amused now.
"she looks at you like you've hung the moon."
his heart sank. he kept his face perfectly still.
"you're imagining things."
"am i?"
she folded her arms.
"she blushes every time you speak. she laughs too hard at your jokes. she watches you when she thinks you aren't looking."
he clenched his jaw. because she wasn't wrong. she noticed. of course she noticed.
yoonseo had always been frighteningly observant.
"she has a crush."
she shrugged.
"it's cute."
he didn't move.
didn't blink.
"she's young."
another shrug.
"girls that age get crushes."
his voice stayed calm.
"and?"
"and..."
she smiled again.
"...it's pathetic that you're entertaining it."
his head lifted.
slowly.
"watch yourself."
"why?"
"because you're talking about someone who has done nothing wrong."
"i didn't say she did."
she laughed lightly.
"i'm talking about you."
he felt something dangerous settle in his chest.
"she's kind."
"she's naïve."
"she cares about arin."
"she cares about you."
he looked away. big mistake. yoonseo noticed immediately.
"...there it is."
his eyes snapped back to hers.
"what."
"that look."
she smiled knowingly.
"you're falling for her."
he scoffed.
"don't flatter yourself."
"i'm not."
she tilted her head.
"i'm observing."
he laughed once.
"you don't know anything."
"i know enough."
she walked around the island slowly.
"i watched you today."
he said nothing.
"you watched her every time she wasn't looking."
"..."
"you looked disappointed when she left."
"..."
"you called her a car."
"..."
"you've never called me a car."
he stared at her.
"you've never needed one."
"no."
she smiled.
"i suppose not."
silence.
"have you slept with her?"
everything stopped.
the air. the room. his heartbeat. he stared at her.
"...what."
"you heard me."
his voice came out dangerously quiet.
"don't."
"i'm asking."
"no."
"really?"
she sounded unconvinced.
"because she's certainly devoted enough."
his hands curled into fists.
"she comes running every time you call."
"stop."
"she cooks."
"stop."
"she practically plays house—"
"enough."
his voice cracked through the kitchen like thunder.
yoonseo fell silent.
his breathing had quickened. not because he'd been accused. because she'd dragged you into something filthy.
something you didn't deserve.
you.
who apologized when you stayed too late. who blushed when he complimented you. who worried over whether he'd eaten breakfast.
the thought of someone reducing your kindness to that made him sick.
"she is a genuine person."
every word came out clipped.
controlled.
"don't ever stand in my house and imply her kindness is motivated by anything else."
yoonseo watched him carefully. then smiled slowly.
"...you love her."
he laughed. a bitter, exhausted laugh.
"this conversation is over."
"you didn't deny it."
he grabbed the folder from the counter and shoved it back toward her hard enough that it slid across the marble.
"take your papers."
"jungkook—"
"get out."
she blinked, "excuse me?"
"get. out.” his voice shook.
silence. for a long moment, neither of them moved. then yoonseo slowly picked up the folder.
"...you've changed."
he looked at her without emotion.
"no."
his voice was quiet now.
"i finally remembered that you don’t get to run your mouth in my house anymore. leave."
for the first time all night, she didn't have a response. she simply stared at him. then turned, walked to the front door, opened it, and left.
“i’ll email you the amendment again. don’t ignore me.”
the house fell silent again. jungkook stood alone in the kitchen, his hands still shaking. he looked around the empty room. his eyes drifted toward the chair where you'd sat that morning. where you'd fussed over him for skipping breakfast. where you'd smiled so shyly when he'd called you sweet.
he closed his eyes. because somehow...the quiet felt even louder now.
the house had never felt this quiet.
jungkook stood in the kitchen for another minute after yoonseo left.
then another.
his eyes landed on the second coffee mug still sitting in the drying rack.
small.
white.
the one you'd somehow started reaching for every morning without thinking.
he stared at it.
"...fuck."
he rubbed both hands over his face.
he was exhausted.
emotionally wrung out.
the argument had drained whatever energy he had left.
all he wanted—
was for you to walk through the front door.
he could picture it so easily.
your soft "i'm here."
the way you'd slip off your shoes.
the pink socks.
the cardigan that was always threatening to slide off one shoulder.
the way you'd ask if he'd eaten before you'd even asked how his day was.
his chest tightened.
he missed you.
the realization settled over him so suddenly he almost laughed.
you'd left barely three hours ago.
and he already missed you.
pathetic.
absolutely pathetic.
he wandered into the living room.
everything still carried traces of you.
one of arin's coloring books sat open on the coffee table.
you'd been helping her color two mornings ago.
there was still a tiny pink hair tie tucked beneath the couch.
he knew it wasn't arin's.
it was yours.
it must've fallen off your wrist.
before he could stop himself, he bent down and picked it up.
a simple elastic.
nothing special.
he rolled it between his fingers.
then realized what he was doing.
"...get a grip."
he set it back down immediately.
almost guiltily.
like someone had caught him.
he climbed the stairs instead.
his bedroom offered no relief.
he loosened his tie completely and let it fall over the chair.
changed into sweatpants.
washed his face.
none of it helped.
his mind kept wandering back to you.
the way you'd looked standing in his entryway today.
all dressed up.
you'd bought that dress.
he knew you had.
because he'd never seen it before.
and now...
he couldn't stop wondering why.
had you been excited?
had you smiled while getting ready?
had you spent extra time picking your earrings?
his stomach twisted.
you'd thought you were having dinner with him.
he hadn't even gotten the chance to explain.
the disappointment on your face when he'd quietly said they needed to leave...
it replayed over and over in his mind.
you'd hidden it well.
too well.
but he'd seen it.
because he'd been disappointed too.
he sank onto the edge of his bed.
forty-eight hours.
that's when you'd be back.
monday morning.
forty-eight hours suddenly sounded unbearable.
he'd gone entire business trips without thinking twice.
now two days felt impossibly long.
he leaned back against the headboard and reached for his phone before he could overthink it.
your conversation sat near the top.
his thumb hovered over the keyboard.
did you make it home?
too formal.
he erased it.
are you home safe?
deleted.
he sighed.
then typed the simplest thing he could think of.
did you make it home okay?
he looked at it for a second.
then hit send. seen by no one. he placed the phone beside him. she'll answer in a minute.
you always answered. you were probably changing into pajamas. washing your face. talking to your mom. he smiled faintly.
five minutes passed. nothing. he checked the screen again. still delivered. ten minutes. nothing.
he tossed the phone onto the bed.
don't be ridiculous.
she has a life.
she doesn't have to answer immediately.
fifteen minutes.
he picked it back up.
still nothing.
his chest began filling with a strange, unfamiliar uneasiness.
had you fallen asleep? were you on the phone? did your battery die? he frowned.
or...had he done something?
his thoughts immediately drifted back to the play.
the way you'd disappeared into the crowd.
the way you'd insisted on leaving early.
the way you'd smiled only with your mouth. not your eyes. he swallowed. you were upset.
he hadn't understood it then.
not completely.
but now...
looking back...
something had changed.
you'd seemed quieter.
careful.
almost distant.
his stomach sank.
had yoonseo said something?
had you overheard something?
had he missed something obvious?
he looked down at your unanswered message again.
his thumb hovered over the keyboard.
he wanted to text again.
did i do something?
are you okay?
i'm sorry about dinner.
instead, he locked his phone.
no.
he wasn't going to overwhelm you.
if you needed space, he'd give it to you.
he set the phone on the nightstand and lay back against his pillow.
the room was dark.
empty.
his eyes drifted toward the ceiling.
forty-eight hours.
he'd see you in forty-eight hours.
if he was lucky.
the weekend became the slowest thing he had ever endured. it shouldn’t have.
he'd sat through sixteen-hour negotiations without checking the time once. he'd crossed oceans for investors. he'd survived weeks away from home. forty-eight hours should have been nothing.
instead, every hour seemed to stretch into three. he checked his phone more than he cared to admit.
saturday morning.
nothing.
saturday afternoon.
still nothing.
by saturday evening, he had convinced himself you were simply busy.
sunday came.
still no reply.
his message remained delivered. never opened. he stared at the screen for a long moment before locking it again. he wasn't entitled to your time. he knew that.
you didn't owe him an immediate response.
you didn't owe him any response.
still...he couldn't stop wondering.
had you changed your number?
no.
had your phone broken?
unlikely.
had he upset you?
that possibility refused to leave him alone.
he replayed friday over and over.
your smile at the beginning of the day. the excitement in your eyes. the pretty dress.
then, your smile after meeting yoonseo. smaller. careful.
your quiet voice during the drive. the way you'd disappeared into the crowd without saying anything. the way you'd insisted on leaving afterward.
how had he not noticed? he'd been so distracted by yoonseo. so busy trying to keep the peace. he hadn't noticed you slipping further and further away.
the realization sat heavily in his chest all weekend.
sunday night found him standing in arin's bedroom. she was already asleep after returning from her sleepover, sprawled dramatically across her bed with one stuffed bunny hanging halfway onto the floor.
he bent down, covering her properly with her blanket. his eyes drifted toward the little calendar hanging beside her desk.
monday.
you'd be here tomorrow. he smiled despite himself.
tomorrow.
he'd finally get to see you.
he'd apologize for dinner. he'd explain what happened. he'd tell you—
his thoughts stopped there.
tell you what?
that yoonseo showing up had blindsided him? that dinner hadn't been canceled because he didn't want to go? that he'd actually been looking forward to spending that hour with you far more than he should have?
his ears warmed. no.
he couldn't say any of that. he sighed softly before switching off arin's bedroom light.
"tomorrow," he whispered.
he dreamed about you again. not the cottage this time. nothing elaborate.
just you sitting across from him at that little restaurant he'd mentioned over the phone.
laughing. talking.
asking him questions about work while stealing fries from his plate. every time he looked at you, you smiled. every time he smiled back, you smiled wider.
he woke before the food even arrived.
monday morning came entirely too early.
jungkook was already downstairs when the doorbell rang.
his heart reacted before the rest of him.
he opened the door almost immediately.
you stood there.
same canvas tote. same soft curls. same gentle smile.
but, something was different.
you looked up at him.
"good morning, mr. jeon,” you said politely, avoiding eye contact.
his smile faltered.
"...good morning."
there was no shy laugh. no warm conversation. you stepped politely around him.
"good morning, arin!"
your entire face lit up the moment arin came running down the stairs.
"pretty nanny!"
arin nearly tackled you.
you laughed, catching her effortlessly before spinning her once.
"i missed you."
"i missed you too!"
your voice was full of warmth. full of affection. exactly as it had always been.
you kissed the top of her head. fixed the crooked strap on her dress. asked about her sleepover. listened with complete attention as she launched into a five-minute explanation about pillow forts.
jungkook watched quietly from the kitchen. the difference became impossible to ignore.
with arin, you were yourself.
you barely looked his way.
every interaction was polite. professional. careful.
"would you like coffee, mr. jeon?"
"thank you."
"i'll leave it here."
"okay."
that was it.
no fussing over whether he'd eaten. no teasing him about living off caffeine. no quiet little smiles.
just...distance.
it hurt more than he expected.
far more.
he caught himself waiting for you to ask if he'd slept.
you didn't.
waiting for you to notice the dark circles beneath his eyes.
you didn't.
waiting for you to quietly slide breakfast in front of him anyway.
instead, you simply prepared arin's breakfast before cleaning up after her. professional. efficient. kind.
to everyone.
except there was now an invisible wall around him. one he had no idea how to climb.
work wasn't much better.
he reread the same contract three times without absorbing a single sentence.
"you've been staring at page four for fifteen minutes."
jungkook looked up.
beomgyu stood in the doorway holding a tablet.
"...have i?"
"yes."
he walked inside, setting several folders down.
"everything okay?"
"fine."
beomgyu gave him a look that clearly said i don't believe you.
before he could press further, another executive stepped into the conference room.
"good news."
jungkook looked up.
"the expansion was approved."
that got his attention.
"already?"
the executive nodded.
"we've officially outgrown this building."
jungkook leaned back slightly.
they'd known it was coming.
the company had doubled in size over the last year.
new hires.
new departments.
new investors.
they'd been squeezing people into conference rooms and temporary workstations for months.
"construction starts next week," the executive continued. "they're estimating twelve to fourteen weeks."
jungkook frowned.
"where's everyone working?"
"hybrid."
another folder slid across the table.
"executives will primarily work remotely."
"...from home."
"correct."
he blinked.
his home.
which meant...
his thoughts immediately drifted there.
you.
arin.
the kitchen.
breakfast.
the living room.
three months.
the executive kept talking.
"it'll save us leasing temporary office space."
jungkook barely heard him.
because another realization had already settled in.
arin was only four.
she couldn't quietly entertain herself all day while he worked.
you'd still need to be there.
which meant for the next several months all three of you would be under the same roof.
every day.
breakfast.
lunch.
afternoons.
evenings, sometimes.
the thought should have made him nervous.
instead, it was the first thing all morning that made him smile.
small.
hopeful.
because maybe, just maybe, being close to you again would give him a chance to figure out what had happened.
and maybe, if he was careful, he could find a way to make you smile at him the way you used to.
working from home sounded wonderful in theory.
in practice, it was torture.
jungkook's office had always been his escape.
structured.
quiet.
predictable.
home wasn't.
home smelled like pancakes in the morning.
home echoed with arin's laughter.
home had you.
he walked through the front door with his laptop bag over one shoulder just before eight.
you were already there.
of course you were.
you were kneeling beside arin in the living room, carefully helping her tape construction paper onto what looked like a cardboard castle.
"higher," arin instructed.
you obediently moved the paper up half an inch.
"here?"
"a little more."
you adjusted it again.
"perfect!"
you smiled so brightly at the praise that jungkook's chest tightened.
you looked up when you heard him.
your smile softened politely.
"good morning."
"morning."
there was a tiny pause.
"...your office is all set up."
he blinked.
"my office?"
you nodded.
"i dusted everything and moved the boxes out of the way so you'd have room."
his eyes drifted toward the hallway.
he hadn't asked you to do that.
"...thank you."
"of course."
just that.
no teasing.
no little lecture about remembering to eat.
no warm smile lingering for an extra second.
you simply looked back down at arin.
"okay," you said softly. "should we make the tower taller?"
"yes!"
jungkook stood there for another moment.
waiting.
for what, exactly, he wasn't sure.
you never looked back up.
his stomach sank.
he quietly disappeared into his office.
it wasn't until almost noon that he emerged again.
he'd spent nearly four hours pretending to work.
pretending being the important word.
he'd answered emails.
joined two meetings.
reviewed three contracts.
and somehow retained absolutely none of it.
because every few minutes—
he heard your laugh from somewhere else in the house.
or arin shouting your name.
or both of you singing badly together.
it was impossible to concentrate.
he followed the sound into the kitchen.
you were standing at the stove in one of your oversized cardigans, stirring soup while arin sat at the island coloring.
neither of you noticed him immediately.
"does daddy like carrots?" arin asked.
"i think so."
"he picks them out."
you frowned dramatically.
"really?"
"mhm."
you looked thoughtfully into the pot.
"well..."
you fished out three carrot slices with a spoon.
"problem solved."
arin gasped.
"you're so smart."
"thank you."
"i'm smart too."
"you are."
"pretty too."
you smiled.
"the prettiest."
jungkook leaned quietly against the doorway.
his heart ached.
because this...
this was exactly how he'd imagined home sounding.
you finally noticed him.
your shoulders straightened automatically.
"lunch is almost ready."
professional.
again.
he nodded.
"smells good."
"thank you."
you returned to stirring.
he stayed where he was.
he didn't know why.
he just wanted to be near you.
after a moment, you reached carefully for a bowl on the highest shelf.
it sat just beyond your fingertips.
you stretched.
a little farther.
still couldn't reach.
before you could grab a chair, jungkook stepped beside you.
"here."
his arm lifted over your shoulder.
his chest brushed lightly against your back as he reached for the bowl.
you froze.
completely.
he noticed immediately.
"...sorry."
he stepped back, handing it to you.
your fingers brushed his.
tiny.
accidental.
your cheeks pinked almost instantly.
"thank you," you murmured.
you didn't meet his eyes.
instead, you busied yourself pouring soup into bowls.
jungkook watched you quietly.
"...that's a nice cardigan."
the compliment slipped out before he could stop it.
your hands stopped moving.
"what?"
"your cardigan."
he cleared his throat awkwardly.
"...it's cute."
you looked down at the pink knit fabric like you'd forgotten you were wearing it.
then...
very slowly...
your ears turned pink too.
"oh."
a tiny smile threatened to appear.
you caught it immediately.
pressed your lips together.
"thank you."
your voice came out so quiet he almost missed it.
you turned back toward the soup a little too quickly.
jungkook noticed you smiling to yourself anyway.
his own lips almost lifted.
almost.
arin looked between both of you suspiciously.
"your face is red."
your eyes widened.
"is it?"
arin nodded enthusiastically.
"really red."
you laughed nervously.
"it's hot in here."
jungkook glanced toward the thermostat.
it definitely wasn't.
arin accepted the explanation immediately.
"oh."
you looked relieved.
jungkook found it unbearably adorable.
the three of you ate lunch together.
or rather, arin talked enough for all three of you.
she explained her cardboard castle, her imaginary dragon, the unfairness of nap time, the fact that dinosaurs would probably enjoy grilled cheese.
you listened like every sentence deserved careful consideration.
asking questions.
encouraging her.
laughing in all the right places.
jungkook mostly watched.
every now and then, he'd look at you.
every single time, you were already looking away.
it wasn't obvious. most people wouldn't have noticed. he did. you never lingered. never held eye contact. never smiled directly at him anymore.
the warmth that used to belong to him had been packed away somewhere he couldn't reach.
it hurt.
more than it should have.
after lunch, you stood and began gathering bowls.
he reached for his automatically.
"leave mine."
you blinked.
"...i can wash it."
"i know."
he held the bowl a little closer to himself.
"i want to."
you hesitated.
then nodded once.
"okay."
you didn't argue.
that somehow felt worse.
before, you would've fussed.
told him to sit down.
told him he worked too hard. now, you simply accepted it. like there was a line you refused to cross anymore.
he washed his own bowl slowly.
listening to you and arin disappear into the backyard.
their laughter drifted through the open kitchen window.
he dried his hands.
looked outside.
you were helping arin blow bubbles across the grass.
the afternoon sun caught your hair.
you laughed as one landed on your nose.
arin laughed even harder.
you looked beautiful.
so heartbreakingly beautiful it almost made him angry.
because you were still exactly the same girl he'd fallen for.
kind.
gentle.
soft.
the only thing that had changed was the way you looked at him.
and jungkook had no idea how to fix it.
author’s note:
even more angst!
i have so much more motivation after seeing how much you guys actually love this series! i thought that people liked my oneshots and didn’t care for my girl but i was so wrong! thank you so much for showing this series love, it’s my baby🤍
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