recently i've been able to increasingly articulate how fucked up my relationship with sex is as a concept, and i saw a movie today called boogie nights that helps me explain it. in the movie, all the characters work in the porn industry and as such view sex and nudity as incredibly normal. so characters will just stare at couples fucking in public like they're watching a tennis match, and one character casually exposes himself to men who ask to see his penis. it's a lot like what I feel; that it's been normalised to me from such a young age that even extreme stuff evokes no reaction is.















