bbteatime

i miss USM’s spiderverse aka the Web Warriors (originally it’s just the guys but why not add Gwen and MJ lol)

My wrist still hurts like shit sorry guys

*the wind blows peters hair majestically*

tomtord x parksborn❤️‍🩹

The Young Spiders (consisting of Miles Morales, Bailey Briggs, Maka Akana, Anya Corazon, Silk and Spider-Gwen) are in the hall of the Empire State University, waiting for the training session with Norman Osborn. Miles Morales is giving a speech when he notices Bailey Briggs and Maka Akana are slacking off with their poses and gestures much to his chagrin. Most of the Young Spiders question Miles' insistence that they need to train together more, with Gwen in particular bringing up how they all punch way above their weight class on a regular basis. Miles does acknowledge her point, but brings up how their recent pyrrhic victory against the Goblin Slayers is reason enough that they can't afford to get complacent. While everyone are talking, they get attacked by Norman Osborn who is seemingly acting like Green Goblin. The Young Spiders try to fend off but Osborn was too prepared for them. It seems that a lot of Osborn's tactics against the Spiders exploit how naturally chaotic they are when coordinating as a team. While he did need specialized equipment to specifically deal with Miles, Anya, and Maka, Osborn was able to take down the others by simply pointing out their own flaws such as Gwen's impulsiveness, Silk's childishness (despite being Peter's age range) and Bailey's passiveness born from Peter forbidding him from ever fighting villains out of his league. Even in Anya's case, his contingency essentially hinged on whether or not Anya was slacking on her sorcery skills.

Then, Spider-Woman (Jessica Drew) crashes in and knocks down Osborn with her motorcycle. Spider-Woman is fiercely protective of the Young Spiders as she believed that Norman had gone back to his Green Goblin shenanigans so she beats him up until the rest of the Spiders explain that his attacks was just a part of a training exercise and plead for her to stop. It turns out that this training exercise was to prepare the Young Spiders for any ambush attacks and do more teamwork. Even though Miles, Gwen, Anya, Cindy, Bailey and Maka are all technically Peter Parker's legacies, he barely did enough job to actually prepare them as vigilantes or teach them how to coordinate as a team. This is especially poignant in regards to Miles, as Osborn singles out his flaws as the direct result of being Peter's actual protege.

♡ they meet and immediately like each other (goodbye conflict, we barely knew you)

♡ the only thing keeping them apart is a misunderstanding that one conversation would fix

♡ both characters describe the other as "beautiful" within three pages of meeting

♡ their chemistry is told not shown (the narrator insists they have spark. they don't.)

♡ the love interest has no personality outside of loving the protagonist

♡ they argue once, make up immediately, never argue again

♡ obstacles are external. they always agree with each other about everything.

♡ the rival love interest exists for two chapters then vanishes without explanation

♡ they almost kiss. something interrupts. this happens four times. on the fifth time they kiss. the end.

♡ the love interest is described as funny, clever, and kind. we see none of this.

♡ their big emotional moment is in the rain. it is always in the rain.

♡ the breakup lasts exactly one chapter before they reconcile

♡ "i've never felt this way before" said by someone with no prior emotional history

♡ both confess feelings at the same time. no awkwardness. no stakes. just synchronized emotion.

♡ their first kiss is perfect. no bumped noses. no wrong angle. cinematic and frictionless.

♡ jealousy subplot introduced and dropped without consequence

♡ they have one shared interest and it is the plot

♡ trauma bonding mistaken for romantic chemistry (these are different things)

♡ the side characters ship them loudly. this is not a substitute for actual tension.

♡ one of them dies temporarily. other is devastated. they come back. no lasting emotional damage.

♡ they end up together because the plot ends, not because they chose each other

☆ A villain who thinks they're the hero is scarier than one who knows they're evil.

☆ Give them something they love. It makes everything worse.

☆ Their logic should make sense, even if their actions don't.

☆ The best villains don't monologue. They ask questions.

☆ Not every villain needs a tragic backstory. Some people are just hungry for power.

☆ Let them win sometimes. Repeatedly, it raises the stakes.

☆ A villain who is polite is more unsettling than one who screams.

☆ They should change the hero just as much as the hero changes them.

☆ Give them a genuine friendship or loyalty somewhere. It humanizes without excusing.

☆ The scariest thing a villain can do is be right about something.

☆ Not every villain needs to die. Some walk away. Some become allies. Some just... disappear.