Lofyy’s Sanctuary

もっとワガママに To Be More Selfish

Episode 1

As the goodwill ambassadors, we visited the eastern lands… and with permission from Finlay-sama, were spending our vacation at an inn. “The inn that’s currently in its soft opening phase has several double rooms… We'd be delighted if the Goodwill Ambassador would use one of those rooms.” The innkeeper made that request of me... Though I was a little hesitant, I decided to invite Beren. The situation of spending time together in a shared room with his master... At first, he was surprised, but... He happily agreed, saying “It’s so I can help with the inn as an ambassador.” - One afternoon -

Beren: Arujisama… I’ll leave the luggage here.

Aruji: Thank you, Beren.

Beren: Hehe… Anyway, this room has a nice view. The wind coming through the window is also pleasant. Even though it’s summer, it feels quite cool.

Aruji: I’m glad we got to stay in a nice room.

Beren: Yeah… And, I’m with arujisama. I feel happy, and at the same time… I feel a bit of responsibility.

Aruji: Responsibility?

Beren: Yeah… Because I want arujisama to have the best vacation possible. For that reason, I need to pull myself together, since I’m the one by your side.

Aruji: You don’t have to push yourself.

Beren: Hehe, sorry, sorry. It’s not like I’m nervous or anything. I’m so excited that I might be getting a little nervous. Do know that feeling?

It may not be the same as the night before a school trip... but I feel like I understand that feeling of excitement when you step into your inn room. Hearing Beren was looking forward to it, made me feel happy too.

Aruji: I’m looking forward to it too.

Beren: That’s good. So then, what should we do now? Since we've come all the way to a place I've never been before… I'd like to explore all kinds of places together with arujisama.

Aruji: Well then, shall we go out?

Beren: That’s right… Actually, I heard from the innkeeper that there’s a shrine nearby. It seems like a really wonderful place, but... Apparently, there are hardly any tourists there right now. That won't be the case once the inn officially opens, though.

Aruji: So it’s like is a hidden gem around here.

Beren: Yeah. Let’s go there first.

Following Beren’s lead, we made our way through the forest… We eventually came to a path paved with cobblestones. As the man-made surroundings came into sight... the clang of metal, an unnatural sound in the wilderness, echoed in our ears.

*ring…ring…*

Aruji: This sound…

Beren: Ah… Look at that, arujisama. It’s wind chimes... And there lots of them. I see... They're hanging wind chimes in a row on the wisteria trellis. Wow... There seem to be well over 100 of these. The sound of the wind chimes itself could be heard clearly from the first floor of the villa, though... With this many of them, it's quite a sight. Not only are they overhead, the wind chimes are hanging on both sides as well… It feels like a tunnel of wind chimes.

Colorful strips of paper flutter in the wind… Along with them, a refreshing melody fills the air. The scenery looks just like it’s a pathway for the wind.

Beren: Oh, there’s a sign up front. Let’s see… It says, ‘It is said that wind chimes have the power to ward off evil spirits’… I see… The sound of wind chimes really does make you feel as if your heart has been cleansed… If you walk through this tunnel of wind chimes, it feels like your heart would be cleansed as well. Well then, arujisama. Shall we have our evil spirits cleansed away too?

Aruji: Yeah.

Feeling the wind with our eyes, ears, and skin... We walked side by side through a tunnel of wind chimes. In that moment… I felt as if my body had became a little lighter.

Beren: Hehe… Somehow, it really feels like all the evil spirits have been cleansed away.

Aruji: Me too.

Beren: I’m glad. That itself makes coming here worth it. If it helps to reduce any misfortunes that might befall arujisama… I’ll rely on anything and everything that I can. Because there are limits to what I can do on my own.

Aruji: That’s not true.

Beren: Oh, sorry. That was a rather awkward way of putting it, wasn't it? But… I want arujisama to be happier than they are now. I want to keep arujisama away from any danger or malice. I'll do anything to achieve that. All the butlers, and of course me too… We love to see arujisama’s cheerful smile.

Aruji: Thank you, Beren.

Beren: Hehe… If anything, I should be the one to thank you. Because arujisama is here, we can spend a happy and peaceful time like this. You believed in us... And you cared about us... That's exactly why I want to protect you with my life. Because in this world, arujisama is the only person who makes me feel that way. Oops… Before I knew it, I ended up getting carried away. Well then… Since we came all the way to the shrine… Shall we stop by the shrine and make a wish? We should think of a wish to make too.

Aruji: Okay, let’s go.

I headed to the shrine with Beren. With the sound of the wind chimes on my back… I wished for Beren’s happiness to the gods of the shrine.

･──✽──୨୧──✽──･

Episode 2

[In front of the shrine]

Beren:…

Aruji:…

After ringing the bell, I finished silently making my wish... Beren didn’t stop praying for a quite some time. I wonder what kind of wish he was making... I continued to clasp my hands together, glancing at him out of the corner of my eye.

Beren:… Thank you for waiting, arujisama. Hehe… I hope that both our wishes come true.

Aruji: What kind of wish did Beren make?

Beren: Me? Well I… Hmmm…. I think I’ll keep it a secret for now. “If you tell someone your wish, it won’t come true,” I have heard something like that recently. “It’s not because I’m too embarrassed to tell arujisama…” it’s not like that, you know?

Aruji: If you put it that way, I’m getting curious…

Beren: Sorry, sorry. I guess I’ve made you anxious. Now then, arujisama. Let’s clear our heads and take a stroll around here.

We walked around the shrine grounds together, enjoying the beautiful natural scenery. Eventually, after going around the area… We returned to the place where the wind chimes were at.

Beren: Huh…? I didn’t notice it when we were here earlier but… The wind chimes here... Apparently, visitors are free to hang them up too. It looks like you can buy wind chimes at the stalls up here. Since we're here, why don't we give it a try?

Aruji: In that case, let’s do it together.

Beren: Okay… It will be a good memory of the trip. Well then… Shall we hang it around here?

We bought two wind chimes and hung them side by side on the wisteria trellis. Listening to the refreshing sound of wind chimes carried on the breeze... My heart was filled with a brighter, more peaceful feeling than when I first arrived.

- After a while -

When we returned to our inn, we decided to take turns soaking in the hot springs to wash away our sweat. Having taken my bath first, while Beren was bathing... I asked the innkeeper to prepare two bottles of milk for me. The bottled milk, which had apparently been chilled in the spring water... ...was ice-cold, as if it had been kept in a refrigerator.

Beren: Phew… That was a nice bath.

Aruji: Welcome back, there’s some cold milk for you.

Beren: Hm? …Milk? Thank you. You went to the trouble of preparing it. But... This kind of thing tastes more delicious after a bath, right? You could have drank ahead without waiting for me.

Aruji: I want to drink it with Beren.

Beren: Hehe… Thank you. …Actually, I feel the same way. I'm sure milk tastes great after a bath, but... It would taste even better if I drank it with arujisama. Well then… Thank you for the meal.

Aruji: Thank you for the meal. 

Beren: Phew… This is definitely delicious. To be able to share this deliciousness with arujisama… I’m really happy.

Aruji: Me too.

Beren: Hehe… Arujisama is really… To think you'd give me such a luxurious time... Aren't you spoiling me a little too much? If you you’re too nice to me… I, might start taking advantage of it. I want you to do this more and more... I might just be honest with my own desires, you know?

Aruji: Beren’s desires…?

Beren: That’s right. I also have my own wishes and desires. As arujisama’s butler, I always behave well, but... …There are plenty of butlers around me who aren't very butler-like. Even after becoming butlers, these men remain their true to themselves… Seeing them like that... I might end up wanting to compete with them too.

Aruji: [U-uhhh…] [That…]

Beren: Oh dear…. Even though the wind chimes have warded off the evil spirits… It seems my selfish thoughts won’t go away at all. This is all… it’s arujisama’s fault, isn’t it? Hmmm… I wonder how I should make them take responsibility…

Aruji: B-beren…?

Beren: Hehe… Just kidding. Sorry, sorry. As expected, I might have gotten carried away. I was just so happy... Looks like it all went to my head for a bit. I should cool myself off with some cold milk. …Phew. Delicious.

As Beren drank his milk, I also brought my glass bottle to my lips. After calming down myself down… I turned myself to face Beren again.

Aruji: It’s okay for you to be more selfish.

Beren:…Arujisama… Good grief... You really are too kind, arujisama. That's how you spoil me to the very end. If you’re so kind to me… I have to spoil arujisama even more than that. Ah, could it be… Was that arujisama’s wish?

Aruji: T-that’s not what I mean…

Beren: Hehe… Either way, it’s my decision that I’m going to spoil arujisama. I hope you’re ready. …Since there is only the two of us, I won’t be able to hold myself back.

Aruji: I’m getting a little excited.

Beren: Really? …Actually, me too. Because arujisama said, “It’s okay to be more selfish”… Since you said so… I ended up letting loose even more than I usually do. I guess when going on a trip, you can’t help but get excited and get carried away.

Aruji: I’m glad that Beren is having fun.

Beren: Hehe… Say, arujisama. Since I’m being selfish anyway… Can I ask for one more thing?

Aruji: What?

Beren: …From now on… I want you to stay by my sude. Because my wish… Is for arujisama to be happy. So from now on, by my side… I want to fulfill arujisama’s wish with my own hands. …Actually… That was the wish I made at the shrine.

Aruji:…Didn’t you want to keep your wish a secret?

Beren: No, it’s fine. It’s not a secret anymore. This isn’t so much as a wish… Because it’s my ‘vow’. In the future, no matter what happens… I want to be able to protect and support arujisama at their side. From anything bad that may happen… I will protect arujisama. This wish isn't something someone else should grant for me... It's something I should fulfill myself.

Aruji: Beren…

Beren: Hehe… I guess I really am getting carried away. But… I might want to bask in this heat a little longer.

甘さも苦みも

Sweetness and Bitterness

Episode 1

The wedding, which had been prepared with the help of the butlers, concluded successfully. At the request of the bride, Lady Melissa… It seems the cleanup will have to wait a little longer. “Until then, you are welcome stay at this mansion, demon butlers” “…No, I want you to stay.” At the client's earnest request, we ended up spending the next few days at the mansion. The Hall of Vows, decorated by the butlers... No matter how many times I see it, it’s breathtakingly beautiful, steeped in a unique atmosphere. Even after the ceremony has ended… I happened to drop by the venue with Beren, who had some free time.

Beren: As expected, all the butlers are quite experienced with such venue preparations. They're efficient, and they have a great sense of style, too. I can see why people would want to request their services.

Aruji: Beren too, is one of them.

Beren: That’s true, but… Compared to everyone else, I’m still inexperienced. I still have a lot to learn. The bride seemed to really like this venue. I'd better take the opportunity to look over all the finer details while I can. I’m sure it will be helpful for future requests.

Aruji: You're very diligent.

Beren: Yeah… If I work hard, I can be of help to arujisama. I want you to be glad that I’m by your side.

Aruji: Of course, I feel that way too now.

Beren: Hehe, sorry… I was hoping to hear those words, I ended up making you say it. I have this side to me when it comes to arujisama... I need to reflect on this.

Aruji: …Despite that, you look like you're enjoying yourself.

Beren: When I’m with arujisama, I’m always having fun.

I just can't seem to win against Beren when he smiles mischievously. With a wry smile, I turn my attention towards the ceremony hall once again.

Beren: …Arujisama, do you like the atmosphere of places like this? If someone confessed their feelings to you in a romantic place like this... Would it make your heart skip a beat?

Aruji: …? What’s wrong, suddenly…

Beren: I was wondering if arujisama had an ideal marriage proposal in mind. Lately, Lord Celdor… has been repeatedly asking “Teach me how to propose.” So I thought about it a lot, from my own perspective.

Lord Celdor is the client who made this request… He was also the groom at the wedding. Lord Celdor is very reserved… Even now, after the wedding, he still hasn’t been able to express his feelings to Lady Melissa. Because of that, even after the wedding... ...it seems he has been seeking romantic advice from the butlers staying at the estate.

Aruji: Did you come up with a proposal?

Beren: Hmm~…Well, I guess so. But you know… I only woke up recently after sleeping for thousands of years. I think there might be some aspects that don't quite fit in with this era. So, maybe if it’s alright… To help me give Lord Celdor better advice… Would you mind taking a look at how I plan to propose?

Aruji: [B-beren’s proposal…?] [Yeah, if I can be of help.]

Beren: It's okay. You don't need to overthink it. There's no one else I can ask something like this except you, arujisama. So, will you do it?

Aruji: In that case… I understand.

Beren: Thank you, I appreciate it. Well then, let’s get started…

Aruji: [(A-already!?)] [(I’m not mentally prepared…)]

Beren:… … That being said. For a marriage proposal... I think the process leading up to it is also important. I guess it's about creating the right atmosphere. So, maybe if arujisama is free tomorrow… …How about we start with a date?

Knowing that he wasn't going to propose right away... I nodded with a sense of relief. But when I really stopped to think about it... With a date added to the schedule, I had been pushed into an even more nerve-racking situation.

Aruji: (Beren… is terrifying)

The next day… As previously planned, Beren came to pick me up in the evening.

Beren: Thank you for waiting, [Name]-san.

Aruji: [Name]-san…?

Beren: Oops, sorry. Did I surprise you by suddenly calling you by your name? But… I’m going to propose to arujisama after this. Right now, I think the setting of ‘partners with marriage in mind’ would be good. I thought it would be more appropriate to call you by your name… Of course, if arujisama doesn’t like it…

Aruji: I don’t dislike it, I’m just surprised.

Beren: Hehe, I see. I’m glad. Well then, once again. I'm looking forward to spending time with you today, [Name]-san.

Aruji: Yeah... same here. I'm looking forward to it too.

Beren: There is a carriage waiting outside the mansion. I've made a reservation at a restaurant... Would you like to have dinner together?

Accompanied by Belen's escort, I left the room. And so… The two of us made our way to the restaurant Belen had reserved. The carriage arrived safely before the gate of the restaurant. The surrounding carriages proceed all the way to the entrance, but... Beren calls out to the driver to stop.

Beren: [Name]-san. I heard this restaurant has a really beautiful garden. We have some time before our reservation… Shall we take our time and enjoy the view as we go?

Aruji: If that’s the case, I would love to see it.

When I answered that way... Beren smiled happily and opened the carriage door.

Beren: After you, [Name]-san.

Aruji: Thank you, Beren.

Beren: Hehe… Because you're my important partner. Come on, this way.

*footsteps*

I walked through the garden of large blooming roses, taking in the scenery as Belen led me by the hand.

Aruji: It’s a really beautiful garden.

Beren: Is it to your liking?

Aruji: Yeah. It was a good idea to walk.

Beren: I’m glad to hear you say that. …Well, to tell you the truth. I didn't suggest walking because the garden is beautiful.

Aruji: Eh…?

Beren: I wanted to spend some time alone with [Name]-san. When we get to the restaurant… There are the other customers and staff there, right? So before that… I wanted to have [Name]-san all to myself. …It’s kind of unbelievable, isn’t it? A grown man is earnestly saying things like this. I myself am surprised at how possessive I am. “We share everything important with each other”… That was life in the orphanage. That was the normal, after all... The kids are my family, so I didn't have any particular complaints. That's part of the reason… When I really think about it, I didn’t have many things that were ‘important and belongs only to me’.

Aruji: Something important that belongs only to you…

Beren: Yeah… something that I don’t have to share with anyone. Something I can keep all to myself. …If I get married… I wouldn’t have to share the time of my important person with anyone else. I can monopolize them, to my heart’s content. If that were to happen… what would become of me? It’s not like I’ve been holding back until now, but… Since I’m not used to it… I probably won’t be able to control this desire to keep things all to myself any more than I can now. I might end up troubling my partner because of this. But… I hope that you’ll accept this as part of my love too. And as my partner too… I hope you show me a side of yourself that you don’t show anyone else. I want to experience ‘[Name]-san who belongs only to me’ as much as I can.

I was speechless as Beren looked at me with his gentle eyes. Before I know it… We had walked through the garden and arrived at the entrance of the restaurant. While my body was filled with a nerve-tingling tension… I went on to enjoy dinner together with Beren.

･──✽──୨୧──✽──･

Episode 2

After finishing our meal... We made our way back to the mansion's banquet hall.

Beren: Ta-da! I’ve prepared a chocolate cake. It has a glossy finish, and the raspberries on top are adorable too.

Aruji: It’s a very stylish cake.

Beren: Hehe, right? When I saw it at the store, I thought, “This is it!” I wanted you to try this cake… So I asked for a simple dessert at the restaurant instead. Are you alright? Do you think you can still eat?

Aruji: Yeah, I’m alright.

Beren: That’s a relief. I’ll start cutting it up right away.

When the knife is cut into it… A layer of red sponge cake is revealed inside.

Beren: The red layer is also raspberry. The sweetness of chocolate and the tartness of raspberries... It may is sweet on the surface... But when you pierce your fork all the way in, another side of it comes out. This is that kind of cake. That’s why… I wanted to eat this cake with [Name]-san today.

Aruji: What does that mean…?

Beren: When we're married… We'll probably come to learn sides of each other that we don't know yet, right? Like sides of a person that had always been there but was not seen until then… Or sides that came to be from spending time together. To embrace every one of those sides and appreciate them for what they are... That's my idea of an ideal relationship. …A relationship where you can accept every side of the other person. That’s the kind of relationship I want. Depending on how you interpret it… It might sound like I’m trying to scare you a bit. ‘Every side of a person,’ huh… That’s a pretty risky thing to ask for consent about in advance. I myself, when talking about it… It makes me feel like I’m going to do something bad. But... I felt I had to tell you this beforehand. Before we end up tying our relationship together with a proposal.

Aruji: …What other sides does Beren have?

Beren: The problem is... I don't really know it myself. If I just had that much figured out, i could find other ways to handle it. But at the very least... I don't think things will stay exactly the same as they are now. As I said earlier… I seem to be the kind of person with a strong sense of possessiveness. How much would I love someone, how much I’d want to keep them all to myself… Honestly, I have no idea.

Aruji: But that’s not a bad thing.

Beren: Yeah, you’re right. But even if it’s not a bad thing… Whether the other person will accept it is a completely different matter. ...The reason I'm going to the trouble of giving you this kind of advice is... I don't want you to have any regrets, [Name]-san. I want [Name]-san to be happy. …But this is the first time I had someone who’s ‘truly special and only mine’… I don’t think I’d ever be able to let them go, no matter what. So... I want you to consider all of that when thinking about what comes next.

The cake Beren offered… Is giving off a sweet scent, revealing a glimpse of red sponge beneath. I took a bite of the cake.

Beren: …

Aruji: …It’s really delicious.

Beren stared intently at me, as if to gauge my reaction... I gave him a genuine smile. The sweetness of the chocolate mixed with the tartness of raspberries… It creates a complex and deep flavor.

Aruji: I could eat this forever.

Beren: …Hehe, as expected of [Name]-san. Thank you… Please, eat as much as you like.

When Beren said that… He carefully took something out of his pocket.

Beren: What lies ahead… It may not all be something you can easily take in and enjoy like that cake. When spending time with you... I came to learn a lot of emotions I never knew before. I’m sure from now on… I’ll keep to learn even more. And I guess I’ll continue to change. But… my feelings for you will never change. No matter what happens… I promise you that. So that you won't feel anxious... I'll continue to properly convey these feelings. So please... I want you to accept me no matter what. Will you accept all of me?

When I nodded, Beren removed the ring from its box… Then he gently placed it on my finger. Even after Belen's hand pulled away... I felt as though his warmth still remained at my fingertips, along with the ring.

Beren: Though… Maybe this is too much for a pretend proposal? Things like putting on the ring and everything… I sort of got carried away and went along with the flow. Speaking of… What do you think of my proposal?

Aruji: It was wonderful, I still feel nervous.

Beren: Hehe, it’s the same for me. My heart is still pounding.

Aruji: It sure didn’t look that way.

Beren: I just wanted to look cool in front of arujisama, I was putting on a front. But I'm glad it somehow came together. Arujisama’s reaction doesn’t seem bad either… I guess the pretend proposal was a success. Thank you for being with me, arujisama.

Aruji: The pleasure was all mine, I had a great time.

Beren: Heh~….

Hearing my response, Belen smiled happily once again... and then briefly glanced at the ring.

Beren: I bought the ring for today’s practice, but… If you like, I’ll give it to you, arujisama. It really looks good on you. ...Still, putting it on the ring finger of your left hand is probably not a good idea. When you wear it normally, try and enjoy putting it on a different finger.

Aruji: Yeah… I’ll do that.

I nodded at Beren's words and gently touched the ring. I was told to put it on a different finger, but… At least for now, I couldn’t bring myself to take it off and change it.

Beren: Hehe…

目を離さないで

Keep Your Eyes on Me

Episode 1

【Devil’s Palace Hall】

A few days after receiving the request from the theater owner… The costumes were already completed… The butlers who are scheduled to appear are also beginning to prepare for their respective roles. One morning… I saw Beren at the entrance of the mansion, having changed into his stage costume.

Beren: …So… Can I borrow the basement?

Berrien: Yes, of course you can.

Aruji: Beren, are you going to the basement?

Beren: Oh, arujisama. Good morning. Hehe… Just a bit, for the sake of preparing for the role.

Aruji: Preparing for the role..?

Beren: Yeah… Speaking of vampires, they are supposed to dislike sunlight after all… I was thinking, maybe I can concentrate better on preparing for my role in the basement where sunlight doesn't reach~…

Aruji: I see.

Beren: Well then arujisama, Berrien. See you later.

As I watch Beren head down to the basement... At the same time, I thought it was very Beren-like of him to devote himself wholeheartedly in everything he does... As a fellow performer standing on the same stage… I feel a strong urge to learn from his example as well. My role is to just sit there and there are no lines at all… Even so, I can’t help wondering if there’s something I could do.

Aruji: (The only thing remaining would be, appearance…?)

An idea came to me… So I decided to ask Berrien to help prepare some makeup supplies for me. The idea I came up with was… was to try doing ‘scar makeup’. The theme of this play is ‘vampires’… Given my role, the more eerie my appearance is, the better it will be. So, with Berrien’s help… I tried to draw a large wound on my arm using the red-toned makeup. Thanks to the help… I feel like I did a pretty good job on the drawing, if I do say so myself.

Aruji: …How does this look?

Berrien: …Hmmm…  Let’s see…. In this case… If someone saw this, they might mistake it for a real injury. Although it’s a bit late to think about it now… with this much makeup on, I can’t help but worry about how it would effect on the skin. This isn’t how it’s originally meant to be used so… I’m worried that arujisama might end up with skin irritation. Instead of applying it directly to the skin... How about applying fake blood to the costume?

…Now that you mention it… I feel like it would turn out better if I had asked Flure to do it rather than doing it myself. I feel a bit guilty about leaving it to all the others, but… in terms of making the stage more exciting, that would probably be better. “Let’s talk to Flure about it later,” As I was thinking about that, I heard footsteps coming from the back room. *tap… tap…* Beren: …Hmmm… I still haven’t quite grasped it yet…

Aruji: Ah, Beren.

Beren: Oh? Arujisama, what are you doing here… …!!! Arujisama, that injury..!?

Aruji: Ah, about that…

Beren: Why did this… What happened!? We have to get it treated quickly! Berrien, let’s hurry to the infirmary right now! And get Lucas-san…

Berrien: C-calm down, Beren. About that…

………….

Beren: …I see. So you weren’t actually injured. That’s good. I was a little worried.

Aruji: I’m sorry for surprising you.

Berrien: Hehe… Somwhow, it reminded me of the past. Even when I got injured in the forest, Beren was very worried about me.

Beren: Ah… I remember that happening.

Aruji: A story from your childhood?

Beren: Yeah… Wasn’t that not long after Berrien came to the orphanage?

Berrien: That's right. At the time, I wasn't yet familiar with the surrounding areas... I got lost in the forest… And I wasn’t able to find my way back.

【2XXX years ago】

Berrien: Ugh… It’s already gotten this dark… What should I do…? I don’t even know the way home… …Beren… …Father…

Beren: …Hey~… …Berrien~…

Berrien: …! That voice… Beren…! I’m over here…!

Beren: …! Berrien…! *rustling* Thank goodness…! Are you alright, Berrien… …That’s not good! I was worried because you haven’t came home when it’s this late.

Berrien: I-I’m sorry… I was running in the forest to build my stamina but… I was chased by an insect along the way... Before I knew it, I was lost...

Beren: … Well, I guess it can’t be helped… Next time, I’ll run with you. Anyway, let’s head back to the orphanage. Goetia was worried too.

Berrien: Yeah.. Okay… Ouch…!

Beren: Berrien…!? Did you hurt your leg?

Berrien: Uh, no... I just sprained myself a little... I’ll be fine if we walk slowly…

Beren: Don't push yourself too hard. Here, let me carry you on my back. …… There we go... Haha, you’re still pretty light, Berrien. You need to go home and eat a lot. You’re hungry, right?

Berrien: Yeah. But it’s late, I’ll probably get scolded by father…

Beren: It’ll be fine if you explain the situation. If anyone is going to get scolded, it’s me.

Berrien: Eh… Why Beren?

Beren: No matter how familiar you are with the area... You shouldn’t let a child go into the forest alone in the middle of the night, right? I snuck out to the forest secretly too. He would have found out about it by now.

Berrien: …Beren… That’s dangerous. Next time, don’t go into the forest alone at night, okay?

Beren: Hey now. Should you really be the one to say that, Berrien?

Berrien: Yeah… Thank you, Beren…

･──✽──୨୧──✽──･

Episode 2

Berrien: That day… Beren, who is usually so kind, scolded me for the first time. I realized that he was genuinely worried about me… That made me happy. Beren may be indifferent to his own affairs, but he cares about those around him more than most.

Beren: Indifferent… I didn’t mean for it that way, though However… Thanks to arujisama and Berrien, I got some great hints in preparation for my role.

Aruji: Hints for your role?

Beren: Yeah. It reminded me of how it feels to be worried about someone and feeling anxious. I couldn't quite grasp the feelings of “a vampire who has lost someone important to them,” but... The feeling you get when you imagine the “worst-case scenario” that lies beyond worry and anxiety… I feel like I have finally grasped the emotions that I should portray. Thank you, arujisama. That was very helpful.

Aruji: I’m glad I was able to help.

Beren: Hmm. Even so…. I know it’s not real, but… Just looking at that “wound” makes my heart feel uneasy. Will it leave any marks on your skin? Are you alright?

Aruji: It’s about time to go wash it off.

Beren: That would be good… Then, let’s head to the bathroom together. Berrien, thank you for the key.

Berrien: Oh, it’s nothing. Whenever you need it again, just let me know anytime.

Beren: Let’s go then, arujisama. Is your arm feeling itchy?

Aruji: No, I’m alright.

*tap…tap…*

Berrien: Hehe… Beren too is surprisingly a worrywart. …Hmm. That reminds me… Even after I was rescued in the forest… It felt like Beren didn’t leave my side for several weeks. Well, that was a story from our childhood after all…

【Espoir Theater】

A few days before the performance... We had arrived at the theater where the show would be held. To rehearse on the completed stage set, in preparation for the actual performance.

Beren: Arujisama is going to sit there during the play, right? Isn’t the chair hard?

Aruji: Thank you, its alright.

Beren, who has been keeping me company a lot lately, ...is staying by my side right up until the stage rehearsals begin. He’s probably being considerate so that I don’t feel nervous. But I wonder he’s able to properly set aside time for his own practice.

Aruji: How are the preparations for your role?

Beren: Of course. Thanks to you, I feel like I can give a good performance. My acting in the stage rehearsal… I hope you look forward to it.

Aruji: Yeah, okay.

Soon it was time for rehearsal... The performance begins with the first act, as if it were the real show. And just as Beren had said... He delivered a breathtaking performance on stage.

Beren: There was once a time…. when I fought alone, to protect humanity. …It was a lonely battle. I had no comrades, and the people didn’t have their trust in me… But in the midst of that… I met someone who understood and supported me. …As long as that person is there, I could do my best. Even when things get tough, I could still play the part of a cool version of myself. That is… Until the humans took that important person away from me.

Aruji: (…Wow…)

During our break, Belen came over next to me. I praised him for his earlier his performance. He was amazing during script reading… but the way he performed on stage was even more magnificent.

Beren: Haha, thank you. I guess that just means I’m really getting into the role. It’s just that… The painful feelings start to feel just like reality, too.

Aruji: Painful feelings…?

Beren: Yeah... …The fact that you’re able to express the sadness of losing someone important well means… It goes to show how genuinely sad I am. When I had mistakenly thought arujisama was injured… I panicking from the bottom of my heart. And I started imagining all sorts of things. Why you get injured… does it hurt… will the wound get worse and cause you to get an sick… And then… just for a moment, I even thought about the worst-case scenario. Hehe… I guess it was a bit childish of me.

Aruji: …Not at all.

Beren: Thank you. But it was true that I was really worried. That's precisely why... It's become easier to imagine the emotions that come "after that." How I would feel if someone important to me was taken away… To me, arujisama is an irreplaceable person. Not only did you save me from a long slumber. You’re the one who gave me a reason to live… and taught me the joy of living. If I were to lose someone like that, I can’t even imagine how heartbreaking it would be…

Even though it’s not part of the performance… a deep look of sadness was on Beren’s face. Realizing that those painful feelings were genuine… I wanted to ease his burden, even just a little.

Aruji: It’s alright, Beren.

Beren: Eh…? Arujisama…?

To Beren, who is always by my side… Today, I’ll be the one to step a little closer.. I could clearly see, right up close, Beren’s expression as his eyes widened in surprise.

Aruji: Because you’ll there by my side, protecting me.

Beren: …! Arujisama…

As long as Beren stays by my side, protecting me… Nothing that would make him sad will ever happen. So there's no need to worry. With that feeling in mind, I smiled at Beren.

Beren: …Hehe… …I see… Thank you, arujisama. It’s true—if I’m by your side, nothing bad will happen. ...I'm sorry. I said something ominous and made you worry, arujisama.

Aruji: It’s alright, I’m fine.

Beren: Thank you… …Hehe, even so… When you say something so kind… It just makes me want to never lose you even more, arujisama.

The sadness faded from Beren’s expression… and this time, he leaned in close to peer at my face. Even though I was the one who approached him first... I suddenly felt flustered by the distance between us.

Beren: What’s wrong? Is there something on your mind, arujisama? What are you thinking about right now… I’d like you to tell me…

Aruji: N-nothing at all.

Beren: Is that so? That’s would be good… Then instead… shall I tell you what I’m thinking about? "I'm so lucky to have such a kind arujisama by my side..." “After the performance ends, I’d like us to spend some fun time together…” that’s what I was thinking. Hehe. I feel sad during the performance, but I’m fine now. Because acting is just acting… It’s only about immersing yourself in the fantasy for a brief moment. And if I can believe that a pleasant reality is waiting for me afterward… I can endure any sad illusion. After the performance ends… I’d like you to let me treat you to your favorite cocktail, arujisama. Of course, I’ll also have non-alcoholic options available.

Aruji: Thank you, I’m looking forward to it.

Beren: Hehe. I’m looking forward to it too. Even in sad times, and even in happy times… From now on too, let’s always stay by each other’s side.

Aruji: …Yeah.

･──✽──୨୧──✽──･

その手に掴む者

The One Who Grasp it in Their Hands

Episode 1

After the swordsmanship tournament… We decided to stay in Tengen for a while. Drawn in by the beauty of the cherry blossoms at the inn, I was strolling through the garden alone when... In the corner of the garden… I saw Beren swinging his sword, alone.

Beren: …Fuh..! … Hah! …Hmmm… There’s still a lot of wasted movement…

Aruji: Are you practicing your swordsmanship?

Beren: Arujisama. Yeah. I learnt a lot from the swordsmanship tournament. I’d thought I review it before I forget. I usually fight with a spear, but… It wouldn’t hurt to learn fighting with a sword as well.

I was at a different venue, so I couldn’t see it myself, but… it seems Beren put up a very good fight against a serious Lucas. When I told him that all the other butlers were praising him... Beren unusually showed a shy, bashful expression.

Beren: Haha… Even if it was a good match, I hardly had any chance of winning.

Aruji: But it’s amazing, especially with a weapon you’re not used to.

Beren: Hmm… Its true that I’m used to using a spear than a sword… Actually, when I was a child… I was taught how to use all kinds of weapons by Goetia. So… it’s not like it was my first time using it. Actually, at first… I think I might’ve been better with a sword than a spear…?

Aruji: In that case, why are you using a spear now?

Beren: Why? … Well… Umm… Why was it again…

When I heard that… I remembered that Beren’s past memories were sealed by the devil’s powers. If that past was something related to his despair… then it’s no wonder he can’t remember it.

Aruji: I’m sorry, I won’t force you to tell me.

Beren: No, its okay. It’s not like it was a painful memory. I just forget the details. It was when I was still a child, after all. I think as we talk about it, I’ll gradually remember. If I recall correctly, it was… I was at the orphanage… I think it was when I was training the other children in fighting…

- 2XXX years ago -

Beren: Alright then, for today… Let’s review the differences between a sword and a spear. First, let’s talk about the sword. Mastering it is very difficult. A highly skilled swordsman might be able to cut an angel’s wings, but… If your skills are still lacking… Then when in close combat with an angel, the risk of being counterattacked is high. On the other hand, the spear… Is a weapon that even beginners can use easily. You can attack from a distance where they can’t grab you… so it’s safer than fighting with a sword. … At least, that was what Goetia taught me.

Berrien: Yeah. And for Beren, you can any weapon skillfully… Children: That’s right! Beren is amazing~ Beren: Hehe, thank you. But… I was thinking of focusing on my swordsmanship soon.

Berrien: Eh… why?

Beren: When I think about fighting angels… It’s probably easier to survive if I master a single weapon, right?” I was torn between the spear and the sword, but… I figured if I’m going to do it anyway, I might as well challenge myself.

Berrien: …I see… As expected of Beren… Then, me too… I will from now on… focus training with “swords”.

Beren: Eh… Berrien too? But why…? I think Berrien is better suited to a spear than a sword…

Berrien: Yeah… But if I use the same weapon, Beren can be my role model. I don’t have a talent for fighting… Still, I want to continue training in battle. So that when the time comes, I can be of help to Father and Beren… I want to become even a little bit stronger. It’s better to use a weapon with a good role model close by… That way, I’ll be able to get stronger, right?

Children: I see… It’s exactly as Berrien say. Then I’ll use the weapon as Beren. Me too.

Beren: Everyone… …

【Goetia’s study】

Goetia: Eh…? Beren, what did you say?

Beren: From now on… I want to continue training using “spears”. And the other kids as well… I think I’ll be teaching them mainly on how to handle the spear. Goetia… Would that be okay?

Goetia: Hmm… If that is your decision, of course it’s fine, but… Didn’t you say before that you wanted to focus on “swords”? If you don’t mind… Could you tell me the reason you choose “spears”?

Beren:…That… If it was just me, I wouldn’t mind using a sword. But… what if I go down? Any one of those kids might end up carrying on Goetia’s will. But… A child with an aptitude to make a contract with a demon might not necessarily be talented in swordsmanship. If that’s the case, what I should do… To devise a strategy that even people inexperienced in battle could use to hold out their own against angels… For that reason… I feel that using a spear would be more suitable than a sword.

Goetia:…I see… I understand, Beren. Thank you. You’re still so young… I’ve burdened you with far too much…

Beren: Hehe. It’s nothing compared to Goetia’s efforts. Our role, growing up at this orphanage… is to succeed Goetia’s will. Continue to survive… and ensuring that Goetia’s will never dies out—that is more important than anything else.

･──✽──୨୧──✽──･

Episode 2

Beren:… I… At that time, said a lot of bold things… In the end, I probably wasn’t able to protect everyone in the orphanage… The fact that I can’t remember what happened to everyone… …I think that’s what it means. I’m not really sure, though…

Beren’s memories of despair are sealed by Shiro’s devil powers. Even so, what exactly led him to despair? I’m sure Beren must have thought about it many times before…

Aruji: But… you protected Berrien.

Beren: Hehe. Thank you, arujisama. It’s true… Berrien has honed the spear techniques I taught him over many years ago. Most of the results are thanks to his hard work, though… If I was able to contribute even just a little bit… Then it was worth choosing the spear back then. …Oops, sorry. I’ve been talking about weapons this whole time. It’s not really the kind of conversation we should be having at such a beautiful place.

Aruji: No, I’m glad I got to hear it.

Beren: Hehe. Arujisama is really kind… …When you’re that kind to me… I might just want to be spoiled even more. My worries and dreams… I might just want to confide them all to arujisama…

Aruji:…Okay. You can tell me everything.

Beren: Hehe… Arujisama is really good at letting me be spoiled. … …To be honest, arujisama. Ever since I was a child… My life has only been filled with thoughts on fighting. Life was a battle for survival… Even when I didn’t have a weapon… Most of my time was spent preparing for battle. But, now…. …

Aruji: Now…?

Beren: By letting go of my weapon, I might be able to grasp on to a different kind of happiness… That’s what I think.

Aruji: A different happiness..

Beren: Yes. For example… Instead of a weapon, I could try holding a beautiful flower. Someday, when there's no need to fight anymore... When the day comes when I can freely grasp anything I want with my own hands... At that time… …. Hehe… What kind of happiness can my hands grasp…? If you don’t mind, I’d like you to think about it with me, arujisama. Even if it’s impossible right now… Someday, with these hands, what kind of happiness might I be able to grasp…? That dream… I would be happy if I could see it with you, arujisama.

Aruji: Beren…

I gently placed my hand on Beren’s outstretched hand. His palms were a bit rough… Perhaps it was proof that he’s spent a lot of time using a spear. As I rubbed the rough spots with the base of my fingers… My thoughts drifted to all the effort Beren had put in up until now.

 Beren: Hehe… Arujisama, that tickles…

Aruji: Ah, I’m sorry.

Beren: No. Rather, I felt happy. It felt like arujisama had acknowledged all the effort I'd put in up until now.

Even without Beren saying it… I want to support him and encourage all the hard work he’s been putting in. With those feelings in mind, I tightly grasp Beren’s right hand this time.

Beren: Ah… That might make me happy… Then… Me too… Hya.

With the same strength as when I squeezed his hands, Beren squeezed back. I normally wouldn’t be able to feel Beren’s strength… it was a striking contrast between that strength and his gentle expression.

Beren:… Are you alright? Did it hurt?

Aruji: No, I’m alright.

Beren: I’m glad. …Besides… Hehe. This kind of thing is nice. Normally, I'm arujisama’s butler... Even when expressing my feelings, I have to choose my words carefully… When holding hands like this… We can convey the strength of our feelings without using words.

Saying that, Beren… Once again put tighten the grip on his right hand as he held mine. As he squeezed my hand tightly at the same time as saying “the strength of our feelings”… I felt as if the intensity of his emotions was being conveyed.

Aruji:… It’s true, I might be able to feel it.

Beren: Right? Of course, I’m making sure it doesn’t hurt. Because you can convey your feelings without anyone seeing... After all, holding hands really is nice. But… In reality, a butler isn’t supposed to hold hands either.

Aruji: Hehe, that maybe so.

Even though I said that… I didn’t loosen my grip, so his hand doesn’t slip away. To my feelings… Beren also responded by squeezing my hand back… And at that time… He whispered softly, in a voice that only I could hear.

全てを受け入れて

Accept Everything

Episode 1

A few days ago, we finished the rehearsal on the outdoor stage… There is a few days left until the festival. I was worried about how the townspeople were going to react to the devil butlers’ performance… Since the rehearsal… There were rumors spreading that “the devil butlers’ performance was amazing”. Before the real thing, I wonder if we can further improve the butlers’ performance… I opened my notebook at the cafeteria… I was hard at work as their producer.

*footsteps*

Beren: Oh? Good morning, arujisama.

Aruji: Ah, Beren. Good morning.

Beren: That notebook… It looks like you are working on something. Maybe… are you working hard as the “producer”?

Aruji: I wouldn’t say I’m working hard…

Beren: There’s no need to be so modest. You were thinking about the stage for us, weren’t you? They practice with us a lot, and when we are unsure or lost, they are there to listen and give us advice. Thank you very much. Having arujisama as the “producer”, it’s very reassuring.

Aruji: I’m glad I was able to help.

Beren: Of course. Having arujisama support us, gives us lots of strength. But for me… I'm worried that arujisama might be working too hard. I’m happy that you’re thinking of us, but don’t push yourself too hard. Seeing arujisama doing well and happy… That would be the greatest joy for us.

Arujisama: Yeah… okay. Thank you.

Beren: Hehe… what an honest and good kid. Well then… From now on, you’ll rely on Beren-niisan, right? I’d like to help with the work that arujisama is working on. What was on your mind?

Aruji: Right now… I’m thinking about the charms of the butlers.

Beren: Our charm…?

Aruji: Because appeal points are important.

Beren: I see, appeal points… If you can find out what makes you appealing, it should affect your performance as well. And for the guests too… They will get to know us more. As expected from our “producer”.

Aruji: It’s not that big of a deal.

Beren: Oh, you’re being modest again. Hehe, when you’re modest like that… it just makes me want to spoil you even more. Arujisama is good at making me in the mood. Arujisama is truly amazing… There’s no doubt about it. Thanks to arujisama… I think all the butlers will be able to see more clearly what we need to work on, and it will be easier for us to do so. We don’t know what real “idols” are like… Even if we try to appeal ourselves like an idol… As expected, there would still be some difficult parts.

Right now at the mansion, in preparations for the festival… I can often see butlers practicing how to behave like an idol. I hope I can help the butlers, even if it’s just a little bit… And as I was thinking about it… I remembered how Beren had been practicing recently. Beren is often practicing his singing and dancing… I’ve never seen him practice behaving like an idol. I wonder if there’s anything that’s troubling him… Feeling concerned, I decided to ask Beren.

Beren: Oh, me? I’m fine. It’s not like I’m particularly concerned or troubled by anything. Even during the practice sessions with the other butlers, I’m doing well. So I don’t think there’s anything worrying. …Besides, if everyone else sees me acting like an idol, they might get a little confused. The theme for the 2nd Floor Villa is “mature and cool, chic idol”… The goal is “to create a presence so elegant that people would hesitate to approach” but… Somehow, the appearance… is so far from my usual self that it seems to surprised people.

Aruji: Ah… that’s true.

Previously, during the first practice will all the butlers… Beren’s performance completely changed the atmosphere around him… The younger butlers’ couldn’t hide their surprise. That itself is proof of how skilled Belen’s performance was… However, wouldn’t it still be worrying to not practice until the actual event?

Aruji: If you don’t mind, I can accompany you practice.

Beren: Eh? But…

Aruji: I’m fine, don’t worry.

Beren: I see… When you say it like that, more than holding back… It would make me feel obligated to accept. Then I’ll accept your offer. I’ll be in your care, arujisama.

Aruji: Yeah, likewise. I’ll be in your care.

“If anything happens, stop me immediate”, he said as a preface… Beren then began to act. At that moment, the usual gentle atmosphere disappeared...  A cold, tense atmosphere spread throughout the room.

Beren: …

Beren pulls the chair next to me… and sits down comfortably. Even with such simple movements… Each time Beren moved, there was a tingling, prickling sensation across my skin.

Aruji: (He really is… good at acting…)

Beren: … …[Name]. Surprised by the sudden mention of my name, I instinctively lifted my gaze to meet Beren’s eyes.

Beren: Hehe… you’re finally looking right at me. Keep your eyes on me just like that. I've been... watching you all this time, arujisama. Or… could it be you were afraid of me after all?

Somehow, I feel like I shouldn't look away right now... Instead of answering, I stared at Beren.

Beren: Heh… Even when I’m like this, arujisama is able to look at me without fear. As expected, the devil butlers’ master is something else. You’ve got real nerves of steel.

Aruji: Its not because I’m the devil butlers’ master.

Beren: …What do you mean?

Aruji: I’m not scared, because it’s Beren.

It doesn’t matter what kind of Beren it is… As long as it’s Beren, I’m not afraid. When I said that...  Beren was slightly surprised... and smiled happily.

Beren: Hmmm… To say that you’re not scared of me, no matter who I am… … You say such kind things.

･──✽──୨୧──✽──･

Episode 2

Beren kept up his playful demeanor… He looks at me as if observing me. Beren: …Ah, that reminds me. Idols give “fan service”, right? I’m an idol now, so I was wondering if I should do something similar. So… is there something you want me to do, arujisama?

Aruji: Eh? Something I want?

Beren: As a thank you for making me happy. If its’s from arujisama… I’ll listen to whatever you say.

In a typical fan service… maybe waving hands or pointing fingers, I guess. When I answered that… Beren quietly deepened his smile again.

Beren: That’s for a “common” fan service, right? I want to hear fan service that “arujisama wants me to do”. An answer that anyone other than my master might want… If it were any another idol, you wouldn’t think about it at all. Be honest… show me arujisama’s true thoughts.

Aruji: […My thought…] [(W-what should I do…)]

Beren: …Well, it’s fine. If you can’t answer, I’ll give you a little time. I’ll ask you again later… So in the meantime, think of an answer.

Aruji: Okay, I got it.

Beren looks satisfied with my answer… Then he looked at the notebook in my hands. On the opened page… the butlers’ charms and areas for improvement are summarized.

Beren: Hmm… …It’s well summarized. Besides me, it looks like you’ve been keeping an eye on the other butlers as well.

Aruji: …I’m the producer, after all…

Beren: I know. It’s your job, so I can’t really say anything about it. But… I can’t help feeling jealous after all. My section… there’s still nothing written in it. Fill it in properly… and think about me a lot. I want you to write down lots of information about me here more than the other butlers. Whether it’s my good parts or bad parts … I want you to know more about me.

Aruji: Even if it’s a bad part…?

Beren: Yeah… even if it’s a bad part. The parts of me I usually keep hidden… the parts that you think I shouldn’t show. Even if those parts that are be painful to me… I want arujisama to see them. Come on… hold the pen. Make sure to pay close attention to me, okay? “I know you better than anyone else in the world”… I want arujisama to be able say it with full confidence. As for me… I want arujisama to know everything. I want you know about me… more than I would know myself.

Being stared at so intensely, I felt my shoulders stiffen. I was told that anything was fine, but… What should I write in this situation?

Aruji: …

Beren: … Hehe… Honestly, arujisama… you’re really amusing. I could just keep watching you like this forever. Hmm… I don’t really want to give arujisama any fan service after all. 

Aruji: Eh…?

Beren: Is there something wrong? Because for arujisama… I want you to be closer to me, not just as a fan. I told you earlier, didn’t I? I want to show arujisama parts of me that I usually keep hidden. Even the parts of me I could never bring myself to show others… …Arujisama, you will keep an eye on me, right? You won’t be afraid… You’ll accept me, won’t you?

I may be a bit confused… But even then… I wouldn’t reject Beren. “It doesn’t matter what kind of Beren it is… As long as it’s Beren, I’m not afraid”. I feel like he’s waiting for those words… I’ll say it to him again, clearly.

Aruji: There’s no reason to be afraid or refuse anything.

Beren: I see… what a good kid.

Beren wore a gentle smile, different from before… He softly stroked my head.

Beren: Those words just now… you can’t take them back. My kind… and fearless arujisama. More than both “fan” and “master”…  become my “one and only”. Places that others were unable to step into… and yet, you come so close.

Aruji: …Beren’s “one and only”…

Beren: … Beren: Oops… it’s about time to end the performance. I’m sorry for troubling you. I may have gone a bit too far.

Aruji: Thank you for your hard work… Your performance, was amazing.

Beren: Really? I’m glad to hear that. But… the teasing and stroking your head like an older brother, it was the same as always… I think I need to improvise my acting so that it would be more fitting with the theme.

Aruji: (I think it’s good enough though…)

Anyways… At this rate, there’s probably nothing to worry about for the actual performance. When remembering Beren's performance earlier... I felt my heart race, and it wasn't from "anxiety".

- A few days later -

The festival ended safely and with great success. As proof of this, from the townspeople… Large amounts of chocolates are delivered to the mansion everyday. And since then, in order to convey my feelings to Beren… I prepared a handmade, heart-shaped festival chocolate. I told Beren I had something I needed to talk to him about… So he should be coming to my room any moment now. While rereading the notes that I made for the festival stage… I leisurely waited for Beren to come.

*knock* *knock*

Aruji: Come in.

Beren: Good evening, arujisama.

Aruji: Good evening, sorry for calling you so late at night.

Beren: Don't worry about it. I was actually happy that you called me. So… you said you had something to talk about—did something happen?

Aruji: I wanted to give this to you.

Beren: This is… could it be for Valentine’s…?

Beren looked surprised as he received the chocolate… I conveyed the feelings I had put into the chocolate. I’m always able to rely on Beren’s enveloping kindness.. That Beren acknowledges even the smallest things and praises me… That my heart has always been supported and encouraged by him.

Aruji: Thank you for always being with me.

Beren: … Arujisama… I want to say thank you too… Feeling supported and encouraged… it’s the same for me too. Arujisama may have not noticed… Even in small moments, your words and smiles… they always give me so much strength. …Being able to spend time together… I’m truly glad that I’m not the only one feeling happy about this…

Aruji: Of course… I feel happy too.

Beren: Hehe, I see… …Hmm? That notebook… It’s the one arujisama used when preparing for the festival, right?

Aruji: Yeah, I was looking back on the stage.

Beren: I see. It really was a great stage, and I understand how you feel. …That’s right, once again… I’d like to apologize to arujisama. The other day, when I was practicing with arujisama… I really surprised you and gave you a hard time. I’m sorry, arujisama.

Aruji: You don’t have to apologize, its completely fine.

Hearing my words, he smiled awkwardly and said, "You're really kind”… Beren gently touched the notebook.

Beren: …At that time, when I was acting… I told arujisama, “I want you to write down lots of information about me”, but... If I’m being honest… I don’t actually care that much about the amount. Because what's important is... not the amount of text, but "how much arujisama cares about me”. Because, at that time… No matter what kind of person I am, you wouldn’t be afraid and would accept me… Hearing that from arujisama made me really happy. No matter what you learn about me, you’ll always stay by my side… I could really feel how deeply arujisama cares. I was so happy… I nearly forgot myself and almost stopped acting. … Thank you, arujisama.

Aruji: I’m glad I was able to convey my feelings.

Beren: Hehe… Yeah… I’m really glad that you shared your feelings with me too.  So, it's not really a "thank you" but... Let me also convey my feelings to arujisama. …During the actual performance… Even though there were so many people, all I could see was arujisama. I wanted to sing only for arujisama… I wanted to make arujisama happier than anyone else, that’s what I thought. Arujisama has always been more than just a “fan” and “master”, or any other title… …You are my “one and only”.

Beren smiles softly… It somewhat reminds me of the smile he gave during practice… somehow a bit forceful, it overlaps. Those words he said back then, “I want to show you sides that I don’t usually show”… might have been part of the act too. Regardless, whether those words are acting or the truth… Even so, I still want to accept everything… and there is no denying it…

Aruji: Beren is my “one and only” too.

Beren:…! Hehe… Thank you, arujisama.