cupid ★彡

“elliot, we have to finish this history project.” you advised. of course, you didn’t actually mean we. you always ended up carrying the weight of the work whenever you worked with him. normally, doing all the work in a group project would drive you up the wall. but whenever you got around elliot, you felt as if his presence was enough. you never pushed for anything more from him.

he was also your first best-friend, and you were his. nothing could compare to the nights you spent on the phone with him, whether you were doing algebra homework, or trying to pick out a dress for your first party, he was always there.

elliot took a pull from the blunt you both were smoking and it became infinitely hard for you to not stare. “y/n,” elliot started as he exhaled the smoke, “we have more than 2 weeks to finish this. and all we really have to do is copy what we wrote in our notebooks onto the poster board! it can’t be that difficult angel”

there was that nickname again. he’s used it plenty of times before now, but its weight never faltered because it always made you weak in the knees.

“but still, i’d like to finish this now so we have time for ourselves later,” you sighed, and in an attempt to hide your flustered face, you began copying down your notes to your poster.

“time for ourselves? what do you have in mind?” elliot teased as a sly smile appeared on his face, taking another hit from the blunt.

he didn’t know if the weed was making him bolder, or if it was the way the light from his window perfectly dawned on your relaxed figure, but elliot began to admire your features.

you were so soft with him, never making him feel smaller than you. always taking his feelings into consideration and looking out for him. even now, where you seem uptight, elliot couldn’t help but admire.

he couldn’t pinpoint just exactly what about you in this moment was enticing him like never before, but regardless of what it was, he couldn’t stop staring. and unbeknownst to elliot, you sensed him eyeing you down.

“y’know if you keep looking at me like that, i won’t get any work done.” you giggled, looking up at him.

“well that would be just terrible” he mused as he got up from his seat on the floor and moved closer to you on the bed to pass you the joint. he then held the blunt up to your lips and as you inhaled, you looked up at him. his eyes were low, red, and they never seemed to leave yours. he was so close, you were able to feel the warmth radiating off his body, and somehow, you never felt more comfortable.

his cool fingertips had just barely grazed your lips but that single, electrifying touch left you longing for more of him, and it took every ounce of strength you had to not ask.

after what felt like a century (but was just 6 seconds), he removed the blunt from in between your lips and watched you inhale the smoke, then exhale slowly. everything you did was hypnotic to him, and he couldn’t get enough.

the next day, you sat with jules and rue in the cafeteria. elliot decided to eat off campus for lunch, and you were glad that you hadn’t seen him all day yet. if you were being honest, you had been avoiding him all day.

you weren’t mad or upset at him by any means, but you just didn’t know what to say to him. i mean, what could you say? your relationship was always flirty, so why has it just hit you now?

“can i tell you guys something?” you blurted to your friends sitting across from you.

as you asked, you started to mindlessly scroll through you and elliot’s messages. you had never thought your feelings towards elliot were anything other than platonic up until a few weeks ago, and yesterday had only confirmed that you wanted him more than you’d like to admit.

“yeah sure, wassup?” rue asked, munching on her sandwich

“would you ever see me and elliot as.. you know,” you hesitated, “a thing? like together?”

“wait.. you guys aren’t ‘a thing?’” mocked jules. “i could've sworn you guys we’re together!?”

rue laughed to herself as she began to speak, “yeah i mean, you guys are always flirting with each other? i just assumed you guys were dating ‘nd just didn’t say.”

“you think so?” you questioned, fiddling with your well-manicured nails. you never saw anything between elliot and you until recently so there is no way that everyone else saw what you were so blind to.. right?

“yes, y/n, oh my god! i can’t believe you guys aren’t already dating!” jules exclaimed while giggling with rue. “i never want to hang out with the two of you alone because i feel like a third wheel!”

you were utterly surprised by the words that were coming out of your best friend's mouths. there was no way other people could see you guys together. there was no way they truly thought that.

you made a face as if all the gears in your head were turning, and in all honesty, they were. they were working their hardest as you started thinking that if everyone sees you both as a couple, that would have to mean he shows some sort of romantic feelings for you, right? he has to have looked at you in some way or said something to make everyone think you guys went out, right?!

“wait so you think he likes me too?” you excitedly asked.

“if his goo-goo eyes everytime you walk in weren’t a dead giveaway to how he feels, you should know he speaks about you every second of the day..” jules confessed, “whenever he starts telling me pointless ass stories about things you’ve guys have done together, i honestly just zone out.”

“how haven’t you noticed any of this? it’s so stupidly obvious, it’s not even funny” rue mumbled with a mouth full of food.

“i don’t know?! i just never thought of him — or us like that!” you said, laughing exasperatedly.

“probably ‘cause she’s in love too!” jules teasingly exclaimed. you knew she was joking, but for as long as you’ve known him, all you ever wanted to do was spend all day with him. he always showered you with attention and quality time. and even if he didn’t, you’d still drop everything to be with him. there was never any words or actions that needed to be spoken or done between the two of you in order for you to feel appreciated and loved.

loved. you would never bat an eye if you used that word to describe your relationship with him before.

“you guys should just get together,” rue said, crashing your train of thought as she gathered her stuff for her next class, “you're both ‘best friends’ already so nothing would have to change, right?”

you didn’t respond.

on one hand, it seemed like there was absolutely nothing to lose. apparently, he’s given multiple signs that he likes you so why not? why couldn’t you shake the feeling that everything would change?

“y/n, you don't have to make a decision right now, but remember that elliot would never do anything to make whatever you guys have going on weird. he genuinely cares,” jules reaffirmed, standing up from the table.

“thanks jules, but i honestly don’t think i’m gonna ‘make a decision.’ i just want to let things work themselves out so i don’t have to” you said, getting you things and going to your history class.

walking into your class, you immediately sensed elliot was there, despite him being sat in the far back. you didn’t really know what to say after that night in his room, on top of the bombshell rue and jules had just dropped on you.

as you walked into the class, you tried to scan for an empty seat that wasn’t the seat next to him. normally, you’d sit there with no hesitation, but you hadn’t prepared yourself enough to have the conversation that so desperately needs to be held.

fuck. you thought as you saw there were no more empty seats, annoyance written on your face.

you made your way to the desk nexts his and tried your hardest to avoid any unnecessary eye contact.

skipping this class would’ve been easier than enduring 45 minutes next to someone you’re trying your hardest to steer clear of but some shit just can’t be helped.

as you sat down and the lesson began, everything seemed to be going well except for the watchful pair of eyes that followed your every move.

you felt them as you picked up your pencil to jot down notes, as you took a sip from your water bottle, to when you opened your phone. you felt your energy being snuffed by his piercing gaze.

“maybe if i just ignore him he’ll stop.” you hoped to yourself.

15 minutes had gone by and he has not stopped once. you couldn’t figure out if he was doing it on purpose to make you freak out or if he was just that nosey but you finally had enough.

“don’t stare, it’s rude.” you seethed silently, looking at him for the first time since class started

“oh you decided you want to talk to me now? to what do i owe the honor” elliot haphazardly taunted.

“damn he noticed i was ignoring him” you thought to yourself.

“only ‘cause you’ve been staring at me for the past like, 15 minutes?”

“only ‘cause you’ve been ignoring me all day.”

“i haven’t been ignoring you?” lie 1.

“you haven’t?”

“no” lie 2.

“so why haven’t you said a word to me like, all day?”

“we just have nothing to speak about” lie 3.

“you sure? cause i heard something completely different from jules”

of course.

of course she was the reason you got caught in your lies. you internally laughed to yourself and left a mental note to never trust jules with anything even mildly important again.

but on the bright side, thank god he stopped interrogating you or else your conscience would’ve started eating you alive to feed all those lies you were spouting. i guess in an odd way, you’d be able to thank jules for saving your conscience. or maybe not.

“oh really?” you smirked “what did jules tell you then?” you couldn’t let your facade fall. you knew how to work your way out of shit, even if jules mucked up your oh-so-amazing plan.

“not much” elliot replied, “she just told me you had something to say to me”

you sighed to yourself. you could either keep playing this game of avoiding talking about your situation-ship, or come clean and possibly ruin what you both have.

you know that there’s a chance that he wants you back. but why ruin what you both have right now? it’s like when you’re doing your eyebrows and they’re absolutely perfect, but you keep plucking at them to make them even better, and before you know it, you end up over plucking and now have 2 uneven brows!

why ruin what’s already been so good to you? you’re both fine with what you were.

“well she was wrong,” you finally said. “do you have anything to say to me?” a tinge of hopefulness written in that question.

after a few seconds of silence, he replied,

“no.”

see, you knew you shouldn’t have pushed it. everything could’ve been gone in a matter of seconds.

“cool.” you uttered.

you picked up a blackberry from the bowl of fruit you were snacking on and ate it while retelling maddy and cassie everything that happened in history yesterday.

“cool?” maddy repeated “why the fuck would you say cool y/n?”

“yeah you’re giving him mixed signals” cassie chimed in.

“i honestly didn’t know what else to say like, i knew if i said anything more, i could ruin 3 years worth of friendship.”

“yeah but by not saying anything you could’ve ruined 3 years worth of friendship” sighed cassie “if one day you guys were hotboxing in his room getting close, and the next you’re giving him the cold shoulder, what’s he supposed to think?”

“it’s not like he wanted to speak about it though so why should i be the one that has to?” you asked, popping a mango cube in your mouth.

“so you want him to come to you?” maddy questioned, “i’m confused why you’re even stuck over him anyway. if you’re not dating why is your relationship this stressful? take advantage of you’re stress-free, single life girl!”

“maybe you’re right about that, i mean, if we’re not together why am i even overthinking this?” you giggled, sitting up from your bed.

“no yeah, don’t stress over shit like this. if you want him to make the first move and he doesn’t, just stay friends and find someone else” maddy suggested.

just as maddy said that, a notification popped up on your phone.

“elly, can we watch a movie? i feel like we haven’t been as close as we used to..” you said as you sat down next to elliot on his bed. he was aimlessly scrolling through his phone which became new normal to your relationship now. he would barely look at you anymore.

“nah, i’m kinda busy today. sorry baby.” elliot uttered as he started texting someone, presumably rue or jules. he always had time for them but never had time for you. what did they have that you didn’t? you were just as pretty, you were smarter AND nicer so what could he possibly want from them that he couldn’t receive from you

“you said that last time i wanted to hang out. you’ve never been this busy before.. have you gotten into some secret club that you’re not allowed to tell me about or something?” you awkwardly chuckled while you tried scooting closer to him.

“mhm…” elliot replied as he kept tapping away at his phone. you just wished you could snatch the device out his hand and see what they were talking about. it couldn’t be that interesting to the point where he stopped listening to what his girlfriend had to say about their dying relationship.

“you know elliot, you make it real hard for me to want to spend time with you when all you do is type on that damn phone. you’re probably texting jules and rue and they’re probably the ones you’ve been so ‘busy’ with recently.” you huffed as you began to play with the hem of your shirt.

“oh god please don’t start this shit again.”

“start what? i literally can’t start anything with you, you don’t even want to spend time with me anymore!”

“(y/n) can you please drop the ‘jealous, possessive, girlfriend’ act. it’s so fucking annoying”

“i’m not being jealous or possessive! i just want to know what’s gotten into you.”

“i’m not doing this shit. nothing has gotten into me, you’re just acting annoying and i don’t see why. am i not allowed to have friends? are you the only one i’m allowed to hang out with now?”

“when did i ever say that? you can’t manipulate me into thinking i’m in the wrong here. all i wanted to do was spend time with you and you’re getting so pissy over me being reasonably upset over you picking rue and jules over me.”

“i’m not being manipulative, i’m just telling the truth. and the truth is, you’re acting like a crybaby right now.”

“crybaby??? you’re the one crying about me questioning what the fuck has gotten into you yet I’M the crybaby?”

“yes! you are! you’ve been crying about me having friends, you’ve been crying about me not coming to coddle you every second of the day, and your bitching about me not watching some dumbass movie with you right now!”

“i’m not gonna keep playing these stupid ass games with you and i’m not gonna let you speak to me like i’m a fucking nuisance. i’m going home. go hang out with rue and jules.” you said as you took your purse and left.

elliot sighed as he sat up from his bed, resting his hand on his forehead. “don’t leave, you know i didn’t mean it like that.”

“bye elliot.” you scoffed as you walked out his room and out his house. as soon as you sat down in you car, you felt your face heat up and your eyes had begun to water. you started driving home but you couldn’t hold it in any longer and began to ball. you couldn’t believe your boyfriend would talk to you in such a manner. you never meant to be the jealous-type or meant to stop him from having friends. you just wanted the same love that you used to get from him. you said he couldn’t manipulate you into feeling like this but he was. and you could never admit this to yourself but it was becoming apparent that you wouldn’t last, yet you were still holding onto the finest sliver of hope. you hoped he’d apologize and you’d be back in his arms.

as soon as you got home, you started a steaming hot shower. you wanted to clear your mind and a shower the scorches the skin right off your body sounded like heaven right now. a part of you hoped that when you got out the shower, elliot would text you. it didn’t matter if it was a text defending his actions or admitting to his wrongdoings, you just wanted one text. a text to show that he was still thinking about you. weather it was good or bad, you just wanted to be on his mind. you showered to clear your thoughts and rid you of elliot’s aroma but the shower did nothing to cleanse your mind of him.

0 notifications, no older messages.

did he not care? was he alright? we’re you in the wrong? should you text first? he’s mad at you. you mess everything up. maybe you did overreact. you should stop being jealous. maybe he’s still out? what if he lost his phone? did he text someone else and not realize he had the wrong number? oh it’s all your fault. he doesn’t love you. you lost him.

thoughts were circling your head, your lips started quivering, and your eyes had begun to well up again. you were breaking down again. and even though hes been acting like a total dick to you, you can’t leave him. you’re attached. desperatelt and tragically attached.