based on a pinterest prompt: seasonal nostolgia, and also the song dogbird
leaves speckled with their signature orange-tint fly past me innocently
the breeze twirls them around slowly, parading their beautiful shade for all to see
i close my eyes, shutting out the hues burning into my skin
even then, i cannot hide from you forever
time is a funny thing, the leaves pile up in a sickening display outside my door, begrudging in a way that finally compels me to take my rake
but i cannot bring myself to shoo them away, shoo you away
even if you are, ultimately, away
the leaves’ orange, your orange, stares at me blankly. a mockery, a beckoning, a question.
“why?” they ask. a million things they ask in such simple words. a million things you asked when i drew back, finally seeing you for who you were. under the autumn night the howls of the wind hid your lashings but they reached my ears just fine.
“you know why.” is all i can say. even now years later, even now that i know all that i needed to. that we were just broken, that your desperation clipped my wings and snuffed out the wind beneath me, that my ignorance choked out the words youve held back. i left that night, that chilled autumn night where the winds so loud pushed and begged but i craned my way and never looked back.
yet, even after so many years, your still here. your orange in the form of leaves begging me to let you stay for a bit longer.
miles away yet i hear your voice tainting the wind.
i grab my rake and stab it into the leaves, tears spilling out when i crouch forward and nearly puke.
every autumn that comes, is an autumn to survive.
baratheonpilled
germansingergirl
gracieabrams
