u r dead

                 𝙳𝙾 𝙸 𝙲𝙰𝚄𝚂𝙴 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙳𝙴𝙰𝚃𝙷 ??

𝙷𝙸𝙶𝙷𝙻𝚈 𝚂𝙴𝙻𝙴𝙲𝚃𝙸𝚅𝙴 , 𝙹𝙰𝚂𝙾𝙽 𝚆𝙸𝚂𝙴 of 𝙵𝙸𝙽𝙰𝙻 𝙳𝙴𝚂𝚃𝙸𝙽𝙰𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽 𝚃𝙷𝚁𝙴𝙴 .  𝚆𝚁𝙸𝚃𝚃𝙴𝙽 𝙱𝚈 𝙲𝙰𝙼 .

guys come bug ian on his wire 👀

❝ Oh, you live here? This is awkward… ❞ 

send me “#” for cell phone headcanons about our muses including:                              - what your muse’s name is in mine’s phone                              - what your muse’s picture is in mine’s phone                              - what your muse’s ringtone is in mine’s phone                              - my muse’s last text to your muse

❝ i’m not even drunk. ❞   ❝ i’m going to remember this. ❞   ❝ mr. ___, i don’t feel so good. ❞   ❝ who’s ready for shot number seven?! ❞   ❝ where’s my juul?! ❞   ❝ i just love ___ so much. ❞   ❝you can’t make out with him, you’re going to get too attached!! ❞   ❝ YOU NEED TO GET A HANDLE ON YOURSELF!! ❞    ❝ i would never, but … i could drive right now. ❞   ❝ we going to waffle home tomorrow?? ❞   ❝ i just wanna marry crass pritt. ❞ ❝ i’m more of a beer kinda gal. ❞   ❝ everyone’s sobering up, and ___ is just getting drunk. ❞   ❝ i threw up. ❞   ❝ hide the vomit rag, please. ❞   ❝ you want me to sing right now?? ❞   ❝ am i a good kid ?? ❞   ❝ he’s ATTRACTIVE!! ❞   ❝ i think i’m having a heart attack. ❞   ❝ two shots…of vodka…GET IT?! ❞   ❝ you’re kind of a bitchy whore when you’re drunk ❞   ❝ i’m not supposed to be a sad drunk. ❞   ❝ do you guys want me to sing?! ❞   ❝ watch me jump over this fire. ❞   ❝ I CAN RAP THIS SONG PERFECTLY. ❞   ❝ i’m going kung-fu-panda on this bitch. ❞   ❝ i’m a goat whisperer. ❞   ❝ that was fuckin’ comedy GOLD. ❞   ❝ are they square dancing?? ❞   ❝ thank god for jesus. ❞    ❝ we LOVE jesus christ, we LOVE her. ❞  

❝ i’m going kung-fu-panda on this bitch. ❞  ❝ it’s the motion of the bro-tion. ❞  ❝ you’ve challenged me to do it. challenge accepted. i’m doing it. ❞  ❝ i don’t like this game. ❞  ❝ don’t give her the hat - DAMMIT, YOU GAVE HER THE HAT! ❞  ❝ i’m surprisingly alert. ❞  ❝ i can literally drive right now. ❞  ❝ my hand eye coordination is still perfect…not that perfect, but pretty perfect. ❞  ❝ she tricked me! ❞  ❝ let’s do it until i horribly injure myself. ❞  ❝ of course it was good, everything i do is good. ❞  ❝ that was weak, and i blame you. ❞  ❝ wasting precious time?! it’s 4:30 in the morning! ❞  ❝ OH JESUS CHRIST ❞ ❝ one out of two. not bad. ❞  ❝ you better eat your words! ❞  ❝ she’s asking nicely, just give the little lady what she wants! ❞  ❝ OH, SHIT! THAT WENT SO MUCH BETTER IN MY HEAD! ❞  ❝ you’re distressing me with all this violence. ❞  ❝ you’re really crushin’ my mellow. ❞ ❝ GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE, COACH! ❞  ❝ you put it on the sex couch, dammit! ❞  ❝ oh yes, please, touch the dirty, sex weight! ❞  ❝ you made contact with the sex weight, OH NO! ❞  ❝ i’m just lookin’ out for your health, you gotta stay hydrated. ❞  ❝ lucky i got these jeans to protect my delicate penis. ❞ ❝ soldier down. ❞ ❝ listen to your friend, she’s obviously very wise. ❞  ❝ i’m so delicate. a delicate flower. ❞  ❝ i’m not afraid of licking a candle. you got me all wrong. ❞  ❝ bitch, you know i can twerk. ❞  ❝ dance off, right now, it’s happening. ❞  ❝  that looked like it hurt. for you. ❞  ❝ i’m just drunk enough to have no inhibitions. ❞  ❝ don’t act like you know my story, bitch. ❞ ❝ my lap dance skills are a little rusty, so i hope you’ll forgive me.❞ ❝ these are the eyes of a man with nothing to lose. ❞  ❝ i mean - fuck, whip it out, bro. ❞  ❝ obviously i’ve done shit since fifth grade, i’m a flippin’ baller. ❞