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recaption

#why didn't i look at you #i wanted to #so #much #but you hate me #i was told not to even acknowledge you while I was at work #because that's what you wanted #even though would have been the last time I would ever see you #just the small glimpse i got was enough #enough to make everything I was upset at you for to vanish #because I can't stay mad at you #no matter what you do #i just want to be there for you #i just want to love you #but it means nothing to you #because i was too late to save you.#please don't hurt yourself #I will always be here for you #I love you

recaption

#i already miss you so fucking much #i miss you every day #and I'm almost sure you hate me #I'm sorry #I'm so sorry #i wish I didn't mess up so much #it's all just because I miss you I'm sorry

#you too

thlavinia

#She's ascended and I'm retarded

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destroymylife

understands

#But I just want to be a part of your movie #Whatever that is #Everything is relative #And if I think I've found myself because of some purpose or something #Nothings stopping me or anyone to just decide that a new purpose is life's calling #Whatever makes people feel comfortable #I don't hate you #Or it or whatever #I just wanted to be there with you during your changes #It's not like you're the only person I've loved/been with/whatever #I know how these feelings are and if you say I'm romanticising things maybe I am.#But when we were on the phone together and playing games together and just being together #That meant the world to me #Even sitting and watching bobs burgers together #It's so hard for me enjoy the moment because of intrusive thoughts and what ifs #That's why I never seem to enjoy anything or enjoy you #But I will think of that moment forever and smile #Because you mean the world to me #I'm just self sabotaging trying to make it so I can never enjoy anything #But I did want you and I do love you dearly #I never gave up on you #And I don't think someone that hated you would say so many pretty words to you and think about you so much.#There are plenty of other people my mind could leech to and do all these things you think I'm doing about you #And they are just as attainable/unattainable #But I'm so stuck on you #And I'm sorry for being so difficult and not understanding and saying wrong things #Life seems to end up going by so fast #And weeks don't even matter because of work or whatever #There's no gaurentee that we live to 70 #And I just want to spend what little time I have here with you

understands

#And if you changed #That's great #Because what greater wish could there be than to get to learn you again #And to meet you again and learn your new wants and affections #It's still you #It's still your soul #And if you changed every day then I would learn that person too #And I'd write a book on all the phases of your moon #Because I still see the stars in your eyes

compulsive

#You are so stuck believing that I don't love you #I don't know why thats such a hard thing to accept #That I #Love #You #You are not an obsession #You are not some concept #Or infatuation #I realize you are not perfect #But I will take the good and the bad in you #I will take whichever twin decides to exist that day #I don't just daydream about you being some perfect idea following a script I want you to follow #And if I did do that then it has stopped #I think of you and how you act and base dreams off of that #I'm not trying to create a you in my mind that doesn't exist #I just want you.#And I know I'm awkward #And I can't express things well and love controls a big part of me #But I'm working on that and I'm getting better #I don't really know who the real me is #Lately I've been taking a page out of your book because I don't even feel real #I feel like I'm at the end of a movie #And I exist somewhere in that blue tape at the end #That clicking #That static #That my story has already ended and I shouldn't be here anymore #But if you saw the real me as the one who talked to you every night for years #And that likes video games and those movies and stays up at night and the stars and whatever you saw me as #It still exists #I still exist

destroymylife

#Why the fuck does it still hurt so fucking much #Why the fuck can I still feek my heart aching #And feel tears in my eyes #It's been over a year #Over a fucking year and I still care so much #Still thinking of you every second of every day #It's not even fucking loneliness #It's just the want for you #And you are over me #You are so fucking over me #And you are falling in love with other people and wishing for other people #And I'm still just crying for you #Why #Why?#Why are these emotions still here #Why do I care so fucking much #Why do I still see you as the only option #Why do I still only think of my future as a future with you and still plan everything with you in it #What the fuck is wrong with me #When does is stop fucking hurting #When do I stop only being able to find peace in reliving our old memories together #And daydreaming about you and listening to your songs #I can't cum these feelings away #I can't replace you away #And I can't drink you away #I'm so fucked #I'm so fucking fucked #My friends say that I'm in love with a ghost #And that the you I loved and that loved me doesn't exist anymore #Fuck

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destroymylife

#It's the cheesy smile for me #It's the faceful of freckles for me #It's the little nose wriggle for me #It's that beautiful and real fucking laugh for me #It's those eyes that I can physically feel my eyes be drawn to for me #It's the stretch marks for me #It's the never ending will of adventure for me #It's the sense of humor for me #It's the love of cats for me #It's the 3am calls full of nothing and everything for me #It's the playlists you find for me #It's that I can still hear you singing them for me #It's me leaving still leaving my ringer on every night in case you call for me #It's the thrift store trip for me #It's that one spot on the burger king sidewalk for me #It's the midnight walks for me #It's the mayo and onion sandwiches for me #It's the art you think of for me #It's the ability to just exist for me #It's the midnight movies on shitty internet websites for me #It's the songs playing out of your phone in semi terrible quality for me #It's the 25% chance of blue eyes for me.#It's everything I complain about at the time and then never know I'd miss for me.#Fuck.

especially

#It's your birthday today #And I don't know if you'll see this but I am so happy you're alive today #And every day #I'm so happy you exist #And I know you don't like your birthday and you are going through a hard time and you feel alone #But I am so proud of you and when I think of you and see you my heart still jumps #I know you don't feel significant and that you're awful and doing so many bad things #But you are so beautiful #And you are so important and you are so significant to me that I would do anything in the entire world just to see you smile #You are more important than the universe to me and I'd rather look at you than all the stars in the sky no matter how many there are #Nothing is more beautiful than you #You are irreplaceable and unique #And you were never something to fill a void or someone that wasn't enough #I learned that the feelings I felt that I thought was love was simply longing.#And I learned that the one that I've actually truly loved is you.#I am so glad that you are alive today #And I hope you will be alive tomorrow #And the next day too #Because I love your humor and your loves and your personality no matter how difficult it is to understand #I love you Emma Rain Goodwin.#And if you change your name then I will love that person too #And I will love you then too #And if you keep changing your personality again and again and again #I will still love that person with everything I have.#And my heart will still belong to you #And no one else #Happy birthday you beautiful beautiful confused little darling #I only wish that I could celebrate it with you #I love you

purplehearts-pinkfarts-deactiva

#Something so weird happened today #And it sounds fake and dumb but it's not #I was just taking orders like I do #And when I take orders on headset once in a while someone's voice will sound really cute #And I'll be like damn this girl sounds cute I wonder what she looks like #And sometimes they'll be lit most of the time it's like a 30 year old mom #But today there was this person that sounded so fucking cute #And they were nice and seemed sweet to me and I was like damn I gotta see this girl #And so within the 30 seconds before they came to the window I started fantisizing about them because idk #And I within that time I was already like I'm gonna marry this person goddammit #All of this was actual thoughts btw #And so then I was thinking how I might actually be getting over you #And be like ha finally theres this cute girl that I was basically falling for just from her voice.#But then I saw the person #And they were you #It was you #And I don't know if my subconscious knew it was you or what #But I fell in love with a stranger today #But that stranger was you.#I fully believe that I completely fell in love with you again today and I didn't even know it was you

slowlydreamingaway

#I am so in love with you #Why can't we just stay in love

slowlydreamingaway

#Is it messed up that part of me is looking forward to today?#Just the thought of being able to sit down and talk to you brings me joy #But I know that today will not be happy #But I miss you so much #The only thing in the entire world that I want is you

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slowlydreamingaway

#I am so in love with you you are literally all of my choices #All of my wants #All of my affections #Please don't be upset at me my love I crave you #I'm being put up against a wall but all I want is you #Please forgive me

bloodandcyanide-blog1

#I am so scared for today #I love you with my entire heart #How did it come to this #This could be the last day you don't entirely hate me #And I don't know what to say #Please know that I love you #And I am so extremely sorry

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