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After 26 years, I decide to left my hometown just to avoid the pain piling up. I needed to figure out myself, until what extent will I go to see the world in a new perspective. Life is not easy to begin with. A lot happened in the last 3 months. Realizations keep on coming as I learn to live on my own. I still need to fix my self and to move on from the love that once I thought would lasts forever. I may no longer be the same after this, but I’m still me after all. May the stars align on me this time, that I will be able to go on and continue my journey in this corrupted world.

Why do I feel like I am the only one hurting from all of this mess? Am I that easy to forget? Am I that easy to move on to? I have made him my world, that I forgot how to live on my own. I forgot to be tough and become vulnerable because I thought becoming one would be the best thing in love. I used to pray and ask God for our future together, now I am praying for my healing. I prayed that one day it would hurt me less. It would hurt me no more. I don’t want to see you happy, for now. I know it sounds so selfish but I don’t want to look at your pretty face because our memories together would come rushing back to me. How you used to smile genuinely at me. How your hugs felt like home. Where did all went wrong? I always ask myself that. Where did I possibly fail or was I the one that failed? I blamed myself for why you gave up but I know deep within me you made that decision knowing I would be hurt and become different from what I used to be.