THE LOOKS

despite the fact that mercy had never been known for her patience she still seemed to afford dennis a lot of it. she didn’t try to steamroll her way through the conversation to get to its end; she could see that there was some distress behind those pretty eyes of his, and while that normally wasn’t too off-brand, this turmoil seemed much different than the usual petty shit they both seemed to put too much energy into. there appeared to be some real heft to this particular issue and, loathe as she was to admit it to anyone, the woman did actually care about what dennis thought and what he felt. she wasn’t about to behave like her usual bossy self. instead she remained quiet, her honey-colored gaze fixed upon his. he surprised her though, when he avoided looking at her, as if he’d found the ground much more interesting in that moment.

when he did speak though…

her eyebrows shot up as mercy tried to process the idea that dennis had a son. then it clicked into place that not only did dennis have a son, he had also kept that knowledge from her despite… whatever this was that they had together. considering she hadn’t been actively pursuing anyone else, had no longer really thought of this as something casual, it… 

well. it didn’t feel too good, to put it lightly.

but at the same time, maybe this wasn’t all about her. at least he had told her now, rather than withholding all of this from her while he avoided her altogether. and this couldn’t have been an easy thing to tell her. with as busy as she always was and as chaotic as things could get when they were together, when would he ever have found the right moment to bring this up?

as much as mercy could be volatile and prone to angry outbursts that border lined on being childish rather than intimidating, she wasn’t completely without sympathy or understanding. this was… really difficult to wrap her head around, but considering how much she cared about dennis and how much she wanted to have him around, the woman was going to make a concerted effort to try.

“how, uh… how old is he? old enough to, like, appreciate my amazing pillow forts? younger? older? ‘cause i need to know so i can plan this out accordingly.”

mercy offered him an uncertain sort of smile. she didn’t know if this was going to be a disaster or not, but… fuck it, right? she was willing to dive right in. that’s what you did when you cared for someone wasn’t it? and besides. she was actually really good with kids, and it was apparent in how close she was to her nieces and nephews, and just how much the neighbors’ kids liked her too. and she had all sorts of stuff boxed up in the guest bedroom closet that, depending on his son’s age and where his interests would lie, could be useful here. nerf guns, board games, puzzles, and all sorts of other things that she used to bust out when her brother was in town and forced her to babysit for him. 

mercy took the role of ‘cool aunt’ very seriously after all.

“and like… if you want… you’re more than welcome to stay with me while he’s with you. there’s plenty of room for you both, yeah? that way you could just, y’know, focus on him rather than what mac is doing. and i could help you. if that’s what you want. i’m actually… pretty good with kids, surprisingly.”

though maybe it wasn’t such a surprise, given how much she liked to pamper and provide for others. and since she couldn’t have her own, mercy sometimes had to act like a kid every once in a while. at least that was the excuse that she gave if anyone ever asked.

she genuinely wanted to help, but a lot of this made her just a little sad. it was a reminder that, while the woman swore that she didn’t want children of her own, she’d been robbed of the chance to say yes or no on her own terms. just another thing that had been ripped from her grasp, another thing that she had no control over despite her attempts to grasp the reigns on her own life. it also made her realize that one day, once she was done wildin’ out at least, she did actually want kids of her own… but that was something she’d probably keep to herself.

“no obligation, of course,” she offered after a pause, trying to shake off any of those awful feelings that were still lingering about. “but the offer’s on the table, okay? i’m here for you, both of you, if you need me. any time. but, like… d’you have any other super impactful news that you’d wanna drop on me now? just so i know what i’m getting myself into and all? or am i supposed to counter with something just as heavy? ‘cause if you give me a minute i’m sure i could think of something.”

she couldn’t let things get too serious now could she? but trying to shoehorn some humor into all of this seemed like the best way to signal to him that everything was all right, that she wasn’t going to be scared off by this, and she was ready to strap in and ride it out with him. finding someone that she so genuinely connected with was a rarity, and mercy was willing to try and make things work.

Dennis prepares for the worst. A scolding, a denouncing of their relationship, maybe even a few sour words coupled with a “I never want to see you again.” But to his surprise, Mercy reacts in none of those ways. The fact that the woman responds with curiosity rather than anger reminds Dennis of just who he’s speaking to. He’s always on edge, anticipating a negative reaction because he’s so used to being around The Gang. Mercy could be very reminiscent of The Gang but she wasn’t one of them, and he had never been more appreciative of that fact before this moment, he’s sure of it.

Dennis stares at Mercy for a moment, lips parting to speak but no words coming out. For some reason he’s still wary, eyes reading her expression from one moment to the next as if it would tell him what she was thinking. Her question had thrown him off and the thought of her being somewhat excited to see Bryan Jr. rather than angry...well, that sort of made Dennis excited for Bryan Jr’s coming visit as well.

“O-Oh, yeah. Totally.” He finally speaks, realizing he had been holding his breath for a moment there when he exhales. “He’s four-- gonna be five in a few months.” He says with a sniff and a nod, trying to maintain his nonchalant body language from before but the smallest curve at the corner of his lips is threatening to curl into a relieved smile. The uncertain smile she wore told him that she was caught off guard by this information but willing to make an effort. It wasn’t too much like when Dennis had told Mac and suddenly Mac wanted to insert himself into the situation and become Bryan Jr’s second father for the next 18 years. No, it was enough to let him know that she cared enough to be there for him despite what a bomb of information it was, enough to want to get to know Bryan Jr despite what perceived baggage might have come with it. 

God, he could feel something swelling up in his chest...a feeling he thought he would have been used to at this point considering it only happened when Mercy was around. Finally, he lets himself smile and a relieved laugh leaves him as he shakes his head. “Oh wow--I thought you would be.... well....” He trails off, trying to expel those thoughts before continuing, a nervous laugh escaping him as he looks back at her, finally able to meet her eyes. How embarrassing, he was totally cheesing.

“You, uhh... you actually wouldn’t mind? I mean, again I didn’t decide it was a good idea to tell you just so I could have your help or anything. I-I didn’t plan on telling you at all, honestly...” He brings a hand to his mouth and pauses as if contemplating before his eyes narrow momentarily. “But I am glad I did. You make me feel like... well, like I’m not completely screwed.” A meaningful smile sneaks across his lips without his consent and if he had noticed, he would have made it all too obvious he was trying to cover it up. Dennis closes the gap between them some and allows his hands to rest upon her shoulders before sliding down her arms and gently taking her hands in his. An incredibly gentle gesture contrasting his usual matter-of-fact, “all-knowing” actions.

“No obligation, of course...” He repeats with a light nod in understanding. “I think... I think I’d love that, Mercy. I-I mean, it’s not us moving in together--- no, no. It’s me staying over your place, like a mini-vacation.” He suggests, attempting to clarify even though they were both clearly on the same page. 

 Hey, he didn’t want to seem like he was intruding in her space or give her the idea that she was doing the same to him. Also that fear of commitment would always rear it’s ugly head even over the smallest of reasons, though this one in particular was a relatively big one so it made sense. A child was a big thing in a relationship afterall. Never did Dennis ever think he would become a father, let alone with some woman he barely spoke to. Maybe it was the relief he had felt or the excitement now bubbling within him over a very new situation between himself and a woman he actually gave a shit about that made him giddy about the prospect of being a dad. Not just for the child’s sake but for Mercy’s sake too. Hell, he’s even a little excited for Mercy to meet Bryan Jr.

she’d been in the midst of sending a barrage of texts to an employee, all of them irate and more than a little unhinged, when dennis spoke. and while she had been completely absorbed in absolutely demolishing a fellow human being mercy was still able to pay attention to him and understand everything he was saying at the same time. it still didn’t mean she wasn’t taken aback and it was apparent by the way her shoulders stiffened and her fingers ceased their furious swiping across the surface of her touchscreen. 

she looked up and slid her phone in her pocket to demonstrate that she was fully invested in their conversation, all the while trying to keep her expression carefully neutral and her tone even and measured.

“i mean… i can’t have them, so i guess i never really thought about it.” a pause, then she spoke again. “that’s… no, that’s not true. i have thought about it. but, like. i stopped thinking about it after i found that out. why… are you asking me this?”

she wasn’t even sure if she’d call him her boyfriend, though maybe it was heavily implied by this point. mercy didn’t actively pursue anyone else, nor did she want to. but it was an uncomfortable thing to approach and the both of them seemed to have a weird thing against labels. they came with expectations, limitations, and rules. but if they hadn’t even talked about that… why were they talking about something this heavy?

but with as much time as they’d spent together and as she’d gotten to know dennis, she assumed that this must have been one of his roundabout ways of ultimately asking her something else, as he did that often.

at least she hoped that was what he was doing. she’d rather not have a real connection fall apart because of something she had no control over. again.

“i suppose i didn’t actually answer your question, though, did i?” the woman ran her fingers through her hair and heaved a sigh. “i mean. i guess… i like them?”

as if the terrible and childish drawings pasted on her refrigerator weren’t telling enough. most of them were from her nieces and nephews, others were from some of her neighbors’ kids. she’d always been good with them, for the most part. babies, though. babies were gross. she’d keep that much to herself as she waited to see where this whole thing was going. she kept her gaze on his as she tilted her head inquisitively and waited for him to explain just where the fuck that came from.

Dennis eyes the woman carefully as he speaks, trying to anticipate her reaction at the question. She seemed much more invested in whatever text she was attempting to send but Dennis was well aware of how good Mercy was at multitasking... he knew she was listening and he hated that her expression told him nothing about how she was going to react. She admittedly had one of the best poker faces he’d ever seen. Right next to his, of course.

The man's eyes widen when she reveals that information and he immediately regrets not explaining further. He was sure she had mentioned it before but it was something he highly doubted that she enjoyed talking about. “Wha, uh...” Dennis stammers, trying to formulate a response. He rests his hands on his hips as he prepares to explain himself, averting his gaze to the ground. This was kind of a big thing for him to talk about and he honestly couldn’t blame her for walking away moments after he shares the information. He hated dealing with other people's baggage and he couldn’t imagine that admitting to being a dad would be too attractive. Some women were into it, but...

At her response, he’s a little relieved. He was prepared to hear her say she hated them with a burning passion because that’s exactly what he would have said. “Well...” Dennis clears his throat, bringing his eyes back up to look at her. “I have a son.” He admits simply, standing there awkwardly as he considers what to add next. “And, uh... he’s... he’s coming to visit soon.” He nods slightly, shrugging his shoulders as if that motion alone would show Mercy that this admission is totally no big deal even though it certainly was.

Though Dennis did dislike kids very strongly, he had a soft spot for his son which he had developed in the time he had taken away from the gang some time ago but he was definitely the only exception. Ever.

“And I’ll be caring for him for a couple of weeks.” Dennis finally continues. “Which means Mac will also be dealing with him, since we share an apartment and all... and that. Well, frankly it scares me.” He admits honestly, hoping she was sort of picking up on what he wanted to ask without him actually having to ask it. That being that he would definitely need help caring for the kid; he wasn’t experienced enough as a father nor equipped to deal with a child. He only visited his son every now and again and usually his ex would be caring for him while he did all the easy stuff.